Chapter Four

Gaea did not know what to think. She sat beside Freyja's bed as her daughter slept, singing and humming softly to keep away the nightmares. When the girls had returned from Vanaheim, Freyja had suggested that they all stay at Frey's house for a few days, while Gaea was there. Frey had been puzzled, but agreed.

Freyja had hardly crawled out of bed since.

How could Atum have done this to her? Why? Her eldest son may have been conceived by a monster, but he himself was not one! He had done terrible things, but never as himself, it was always Demogorge who had taken innocent lives. Atum protected the innocent. He did not harm them.

Gaea's voice cracked as she sang. She wanted to reach out her mind to Atum's, to ask him, to know what his thoughts were, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. What type of evil drove a man to rape his own sister?

"Is Modir all right?"

Gaea turned to see Hnossa enter with a tray of food. "She is not feeling well."

Hnossa set the tray down and joined Gaea. "She was fine when we left for Vanaheim."

"Ills can befall a person very suddenly." Tears welled in Gaea's eyes. "Hnossa, will you sit with your mother for a while? I must attend to some business. If she wakes before I return, tell her that I will be back soon."

Hnossa nodded. "Grandmother?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Is she going to be all right?"

Gaea kissed Hnossa's forehead. "I hope so."

She went to the garden to open a portal, calling on her connection to Atum to take her to where she needed to go. Bracing herself, she stepped through.

She found herself on a world that she had vague memories of. Towering mountains closed in on her at every side, with deep cliffs and snow-capped peaks. Atum was sitting on a bed of short grass some distance away, staring down at a village in the distance.

Gaea had never hated him before. Rage welled in her as she looked at him, sitting so serenely! She tried to swallow it back down. She needed to listen to him, to know why... Nothing could justify his actions. Gaea let her rage consume her. She rushed at Atum. He turned only soon enough to see her fists coming at him.

She pounded his head, his face. "HOW COULD YOU?"she screamed, sobbing. "HOW COULD YOU?!"

Atum started to push himself up, but stopped under Gaea's assault. He didn't make a sound. Gaea wondered if he even felt the blows raining down on him. Even after her hands were bruised and bloody, there wasn't a mark on him. Gaea fell sobbing to her knees. Atum wouldn't look at her.

"Why?" she whispered. "Why, Atum? Freyja still loved you."

He flinched, but did not speak.

"Tell me!"

Silence.

Her body shook with sobs. Atum's eyes stared at his hands. Eventually, Gaea pushed herself to her feet.

"I don't understand. You were never evil. But this... What you've done can never be undone! Atum, you... you disgust me. I never want to see you again."

Atum nodded, but still didn't speak.

Gaea looked down at her son for a long moment. She wiped at the streams coming from her eyes. There was nothing left to say. She turned her back on Atum and walked away without a backwards glance.

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Atum lowered his face in his hands after Gaea made a portal and stepped through. He could not blame her for hating him. He hated himself. In a way, it was a relief to know that he disgusted her so much. But that didn't stop the tears from flowing down his face. He looked up at the little village, one of many on the planet that he had hurt his sister to save. It was still peaceful and quiet.

I told you she would turn from you.

"I knew she would."

And yet you cling to her as a babe does to his mother's breast. What is it about the wench that stirs up so much affection? Did she not call you evil just now?

"What I did was evil."

My son, you have nothing left in that realm for you. Come, join me. Together, we will be unstoppable! I have freed you from that woman and your life of false good. There is nothing that men like us can do that is not furthering evil.

Atum began to laugh through his tears. Loud, harsh. The sky darkened, and a rumble ran through the mountains. "Freed me? No, Chthon. You do not realise what you have done. Now I have nothing left to protect from you. Now, I can do anything I need to in order to destroy you!"

Atum continued to laugh, and he let his fire flare in him. He flung out his hand, opening a portal to a world he had long known to have traces of Chthonic power in it. He walked onto it in a blazing ball of glory. People stopped and shielded their faces, eyes wide as they stared at the fire as bright as the sun.

He sent an arc of flame from his palm to the nearest man. He vaporised instantly.

And the screaming began.

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Freyja dragged her eyes open to see two shining blue eyes staring at her over the side of the bed. She blinked, and the blue eyes blinked. Two small hands dug into the duvet and a small blond head bobbed up over the edge, followed by a small body. The little boy babbled proudly to himself, then reached out. He grabbed a handful of Freyja's hair and yanked hard.

"Am I dreaming?" Freyja murmured, untangling the small fingers from her unkempt hair. "No, you're the little prince."

She pushed herself up, and little Thor climbed onto her lap and babbled, reaching for her hair again.

"Thor?" Frigga poked her head into the room. She grimaced as she hurried in. "I'm sorry, Freyja. I turn around for a second and I don't know where he's gone!"

"It's all right." Freyja smiled at the baby. "He's a little troublemaker, is he?"

"That's one way to say it," Frigga sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I thought this would be easier. But with Thor, and this war with Jotunheim..."

"Life is never easy."

Frigga brushed Thor's golden hair from his forehead. "I just stopped by to see how you were doing. It's been almost a week since I last saw you."

Thor grabbed a handful of Freyja's hair and pulled.

"Thor, no!" Frigga reached to help Freyja detangle her hair, but Thor let out a high-pitched wail and knotted his fingers tighter.

Freyja didn't mind the pain in her scalp. It wasn't bad. "I am all right. I fear Frey is getting sick of me, though. I should return to my own home soon."

"I am sure he's happy to have you until this illness passes." Frigga pulled Thor into her own lap. The boy pinched her arm and kicked his feet, giggling.

"I'm not sick, Frigga."

Freyja imagined that she could feel Atum's child growing inside her. She imagined that it got bigger and bigger, her stomach stretching out until she was screaming and then she burst open, a little demon crawling from her insides with black eyes and a cold, dark laugh- She shivered, pressing her palms to her eyes.

"Freyja? Freyja, what's wrong?"

Freyja wiped at her eyes to make sure they weren't weeping. "Nothing I... I just..."

Frigga struggled to keep hold of Thor, who was reaching for Freyja's hair again.

"I'm just really sad right now. I don't know why." The lie was better than the truth. She couldn't tell Frigga. They were friends, but not that close. Freyja wasn't close enough to anybody to tell them the truth, to let them see how powerless she truly was. If Gaea hadn't come when she did, Freyja wasn't certain that she would have even told her. "I wish Ve was here."

She would have told him.

"The anniversary of his death is coming soon. You'll be able to talk to him then." Frigga hesitated. "I can speak with Odin, perhaps he will be willing to let you have more time than usual with him? After all, he's so busy with his generals..."

"I would like that," Freyja said softly. "Has a volunteer been chosen to host Ve yet?"

"Odin wishes to discuss that with you, when you feel up to it. He is favouring Tyr again, but Ander is willing."

Freyja sighed. "Let Odin know whatever decision he makes, I will choose the opposite. That is how it always works, is it not? I do not feel up to arguing with him right now. He is free to make the decision himself." She tickled Thor's foot, making the baby giggle. "He's a beautiful baby, Frigga. You must be very proud."

The baby in my womb was conceived by a brother raping his sister. Its father was conceived by a brother raping his sister. If it is a boy, will he rape one of his sisters? If it is a girl, will she one day conceive after being raped?

"Freyja?"

"I'm fine."

"Would you like me to let you get some rest?"

Freyja shook her head. "I do not want to be alone, Frigga. I don't really want to talk, either, though. I... I'm so tired." She pushed her hands to her eyes. She felt a small hand knot into her hair and yanked.

"Thor, stop!"

The baby laughed.

"I'm sorry, Freyja, he never listens to me."

Freyja rubbed her scalp. "I can watch him for a few hours every day if you want."

"Oh, no, not while you're feeling -"

"I want to. I think... I think having a baby around might do me some good." Freyja tapped the baby's nose. He grabbed her finger and bit it. "It might be nice, to get me out of my head."

"Are you sure? He's a handful."

"The girls can help me."

Relief and gratitude broke across Frigga's face. "Thank you."

Freyja managed a smile.

The door suddenly burst open and three muddy little girls came tearing into the room, shouting at each other. Thor clapped his hands. The triplets jumped onto the bed, smearing their mud everywhere. Freyja smiled at her girls as they all started talking at once.

They were safe and whole. Her daughters were her world. And they were unharmed. And that was how she knew that someday she would be alright again.