Chapter Six
Freyja stood waiting while Odin and Tyr talked quietly. It had been surprisingly easy to convince Odin not to have the usual fanfare of nobles waiting to extend their greeting to Ve before they were able to have private discussions. It had taken a lot of arguing to change their usual method of splitting Ve's short day between them.
After some time of waiting, Tyr left Odin and walked over to Freyja. The goddess braced herself. He hadn't talked to her since she made her request of him. He smiled briefly at her, and handed her a folded parchment. Freyja opened it.
I, Tyr God of War, do hereby grant permission to Lord Ve and Lady Freyja to engage in whatever physical intimacies that they see fit during the duration of Lord Ve's possession of my body.
It was signed with a flourish. Tears filled Freyja's eyes.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Tyr nodded, looking slightly embarrassed. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again, clearing his throat.
"Lord Tyr, Lady Freyja," Odin called. "It is time."
Freyja and Tyr joined him. Freyja produced an amulet from her pocket, and pressed it to Tyr's chest, muttering the incantation that Gaea had taught her for this purpose. Tyr breathed deeply, his chin falling to his chest and his eyes closing. The amulet slowly absorbed into his chest, and when the eyes opened again, it was Ve who opened them.
Ve immediately wrapped his arms around Freyja and pulled her close. The tears were already falling from her eyes as she buried her face in his shoulder.
"Freyja."
"Ve."
Ve released her, looking into her eyes with concern and worry. Odin cleared his throat, and Ve turned and embraced him. Freyja wished that the king would just disappear or be suddenly called off on important business, though she knew it wasn't going to happen.
"Brother, it is good to see you again," Ve said.
"And you." Odin's voice was thick. "I have much to tell you."
Ve nodded, and looked back to Freyja. He looked torn. "There was something... but I don't remember..." his brow furrowed.
Even with Tyr's face, Freyja would never forget that expression. She smiled through her tears. "Odin and I have made an agreement on how to share your time here. Eleven hours first for him, and then thirteen for me. Go on, have fun talking about whatever it is men talk of. I'll meet you in our old quarters."
With Tyr's letter in her palm, Freyja embraced Ve again and quickly left before she could start arguing for more time and ruin what time she did have.
The rooms in which she waited brought back so many memories of happy times with her husband and eased the ache in Freyja's heart. She could count the surfaces on which they had not made love on one hand, and all of them had been moved in after Ve's death. Freyja ordered fresh fruits and flowers be brought, and carefully arranged everything. She then decided that perhaps she should have a change of clothing. She grabbed the huge hat she used to keep the sun off her face, but then set it down.
"I can't live in fear," she murmured to herself. "That only lets him win another victory."
Still, she shivered a bit as she walked to her house, and hesitated a long time before entering it. This was the first time since Atum's assault that she had been in the building alone. It was taking longer than she would have liked to arrange the purchase of a new home, and the sale of this one.
Her shivering increased as she walked up the stairs, half-expecting to be suddenly grabbed from behind. She tried to push aside the utter humiliation that welled up in her as she entered her bedroom. Bile rose in her throat as she looked at the room, and slowly sank to the floor as she remembered. Atum grabbing her, ripping off her robe, throwing her on the bed. Taking her the first time. It was all a blur after that, but as she sat shivering on her floor, vivid scenes came back to her.
Freyja pushed herself to her feet again. She set her jaw and ignored her reflected images. Her back unnaturally stiff, she marched to her wardrobe and flung it open. She wanted something suitable for Ve. She shifted through her gowns and then her nightgowns until she got to a blue satin piece that he had made for her birthday the year after Hnossa was born. Perfect.
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Atum let the witch think she had a chance of escape. He grinned as she lashed out at him with her staff, laughing as she whipped her head around to deck him with the large lead ring on the end of her braid. He grabbed the staff from her and spun it from her hands. She backed away, panting, her eyes wide as he cracked it over his knee.
"You have consorted with Chthon," he said, advancing.
"He would have killed my family if I had not done as he willed!"
She whipped her head around again, the ring clunking between Atum's eyes. He laughed, caught her braid, and set it on fire. She screamed as the flames enveloped her head.
"All those who obey Chthon's will must be purged." Atum felt savage satisfaction as he lifted the witch by her throat, flaming his hand. He brought it close to her face; the flesh bubbled, the acrid smell of burnt meat burst from sizzling blisters. She screamed, louder.
"Please!"
Atum snapped her neck, and tossed her burning corpse aside. He watched her eyes melt out of her face, and then turned his back.
"There is no mercy for demons or their servants," he shouted, knowing that the people would be pressed to their windows and doors, terrified to be discovered but unable to stop themselves from watching the spectacle. "You tell any others that you see; Any man, woman or child found to have been touched by Chthon's hand will be destroyed. If they subject themselves to me willingly, their death will be quick. Otherwise..."
He grinned as the flames behind him roared higher.
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Freyja paced, her eyes on the timepiece that hung over the mantle in the palace quarters that she and Ve once shared. Technically, they were still hers, but she rarely used them. There was no room for her daughters, although occasionally the older girls would stay in these rooms after a spat with their mother.
The door opened, and Ve, wearing Tyr's face, stepped in. A smile broke across Freyja's face and she ran into his arms. He held her tightly, and then pulled away.
"Something terrible happened."
Freyja nodded. "Yes. But I don't want to talk about it right now. Odin must have exhausted you."
"Not so much Odin as his little boy," Ve laughed. "Thor is as quick as lightning when it comes to getting into trouble!"
"And as loud as thunder when he doesn't get his own way," Freyja added. "But he is still only a baby. I'm sure he'll grow out of it in time."
Ve brushed her hair from her face. "You are so beautiful."
Warmth spread from Freyja's heart. "Nobody can ever say that like you."
"No, they all use the poetics and eloquence that you deserve."
Freyja rolled her eyes, and holding Ve's hand, led him back to where she had a light meal of fruits and vegetables ready. "Are you hungry?"
"Not really, but you know how much I love watching you eat."
"I'm not so hungry myself..." Freyja bit her lip, feeling suddenly shy and reserved. "Ve, I'm going to have another baby."
Ve smiled, though he looked sad. "You are determined to have your eight girls, are you?"
"I suppose."
"Have you thought of names?"
"Not yet. I'm only three months in."
"I like the name Sigyn." Ve furrowed his brow, as if struggling to remember something. "Freyja...about this child, how it was conceived..." He cursed, closing his eyes in frustration. "It's all a blur, I can't remember!"
Freyja shook her head, shuddering. "I don't want to discuss it, Ve. We only have a short time together..."
She turned away and picked up the letter Tyr had written. "Ve, there is something... I don't know if you will want to, but... I asked something of Tyr and he gave his consent."
She held the letter out to him, and Ve took it. He read it through twice and looked back up at Freyja, eyes wide. She twisted her hands nervously.
"I didn't think that this was possible..." he murmured, reading the letter again. "This isn't my body..."
"Which is why I made sure to get his permission," Freyja said fervently. "We don't have to, if it makes you uncomfortable."
Ve set the letter aside. He stepped close to Freyja and cupped her face with his hand. He kissed her and then buried his face into her neck.
"I've forgotten how good you smell," he murmured. "Freyja, I miss you so much!"
"I miss you," Freyja whispered back, letting her neck muscles relax to the side, an unspoken invitation.
He kissed her collarbone and her throat, and then her lips again. He gently pulled away and kissed her forehead and nose before returning to her lips for another passionate kiss, and then moving to her neck again.
"Is this alright with you?" Freyja murmured, wrapping her arms tight around his shoulders, digging her fingers into his hair. "I've never asked you- All the men I've betrayed you with-"
"Freyja, I love you. I want you to be happy."
"And I don't want to hurt you. It started with Hnossa's cure, but now..."
Ve stopped kissing her. He rested his forehead on hers. "You wouldn't have the girls if you didn't. Think about that, think about them. I'm not there for you anymore, I can't blame you for wanting the comfort of physical closeness. I know you, Freyja. It's the only closeness you'll allow yourself. And as flattering as it is that you cling to me, I wish you would let yourself find a good man and love him."
A tear ran down Freyja's cheek. "Do you think I'm a dirty little whore?"
"I would never think that of you, because you are not."
Freyja pushed herself up to her tiptoes, pressing her full length against Ve's, kissing him, pulling his head in towards hers, wanting more, needing more.
"Whoa, slow down," Ve murmured, pulling away fractionally. "We have the rest of the day." He knotted his hands in her hair and held her close. "Freyja, we need to talk."
"I don't want to talk."
"I can tell," Ve chuckled, but grew somber. "Please tell me what's wrong."
"I will," Freyja promised. "But first I want you and me, the way we used to be... well, as much as it can." She kissed him again, not needing to imagine Ve's face over Tyr's; she knew the man who held her was her husband. No-one ever kissed her the way he did. "Remember our wedding night?"
"How could I forget?" Ve chuckled, walking backwards towards their bed, pulling Freyja with him. "I was as nervous as a young colt, and you flipped me onto my back-"
Freyja laughed, and Ve kissed her throat. "That was Mother's advice. 'Get him on his back and ride him like a horse.' I acted much more confident than I felt."
"You don't like letting people see you vulnerable."
"I don't like to feel weak."
"You're anything but weak."
Freyja kissed Ve's neck and his jaw, and then began unbuttoning his shirt. Ve caught her mouth with his, running his hands over her waist, up to her shoulders and then down to her hips. He backed up into the bed and lost his balance. Together they fell in a tangled heap, letting out twin yelps from the unexpectedness of it.
Freyja laughed. "Same as ever!"
Ve swatted her bottom gently. "Still trying to get me on my back, huh?"
Freyja straddled him, undoing the last button on his shirt. As she pulled it off, he sat up, kissing her neck. The amulet in his chest glowed slightly. They kissed passionately, and then Freyja pulled away.
"Wait here," she murmured huskily. "I'll be back soon."
"I've heard that one before."
Freyja flashed him a smile before practically running into the bathing room. Her heart was pounding wildly, and she thought her smile would split her face. She hadn't been this excited in a long, long time! She stripped off her gown, slipping on the blue satin nightdress. She let her hair down, giddy with anticipation.
Ve had taken off his boots and socks and was sitting on the bed, waiting, when she emerged again. Freyja walked to the middle of the room, and twirled around, before walking slowly towards Ve, enjoying the way his eyes widened as they looked over her. She sat on the bed beside him, running her hand down his muscled chest – Tyr's muscled chest. Her happiness faded a moment. It was her husband's mind, but not his body. He would never hold her in his arms again. It would always be someone else's arms around her...
"This feels strange," Ve murmured.
Freyja nodded.
"Are you sure this was what he meant?"
"This is what I requested. I did not mince words."
Ve laughed. "I don't think you're capable of mincing words, Freyja. You always say exactly what you want to."
"I don't always mean what I say, though."
Ve carded Tyr's fingers through her golden hair. "We don't have to."
"I know. But I want to." Freyja leaned in to kiss him again. And once more she didn't have to imagine Ve's own face; the eyes she was looking into weren't blue, but they were Ve's; warm, loving, safe. She kissed him deeper, exploring his muscles with her fingers while he slid his hands under her nightdress.
"Did I give this one to you?"
Freyja nodded. "It's a little tight."
"No, it's not." His hands roamed. "It's perfect."
"You're perfect. Although," Freyja continued with a small, sexy grin, "I'm starting to wonder why I bothered to put this on at all."
"Because you remember how much I love taking it off."
With that, Ve slid his hands up her body, collecting the satin as he went. She pulled her hair to one side and stretched her neck, offering it to Ve's lips. He gratefully nibbled at it, sending shivers down her spine.
"I forgot how much I love it when you kiss my neck."
"I didn't," Ve murmured into her skin. He stopped suddenly, and looked at her with a frown. "This might be a... inapt question, but you have lovers... don't they...?"
"Some," Freyja replied, trying not to feel the shame of talking to her husband about her lovers. "Most are more concerned with their own pleasure."
"Freyja," Ve whispered, running his fingers through her hair. "You are worth so much more than that."
"No, I'm not."
"This is one time when you are wrong, my love. You deserve love."
Freyja rested her forehead against his. "You loved me. And look what I did to you."
"I've forgiven you. You need to forgive yourself."
Freyja closed her eyes. She breathed deeply, pulling herself even closer to Ve. She wanted him to be as close as she possibly could, but she knew that the physical closeness was not going to be enough... she could get that anywhere.
"Atum forced me," she whispered. "I hated him so long for what he did to Hnossa, but recently I thought maybe... maybe if I could only talk to him I could at least try to forgive him. I've missed him – the Atum I used to know – in my life. The brother who would listen to me no matter how stupid the words I spoke, the brother who taught me how to ride horseback, who gave me my first weapon..."
She shook with suppressed sobs. Ve gently pushed her to one side and retrieved her nightdress. She slid it back over her head, and cuddled against Ve's chest.
"The child?"
"Is mine," Freyja said fiercely. "She is mine, he has no claim on her!"
Ve kissed her forehead and said nothing.
"I thought that maybe we could be brother and sister again. I thought that he had come to my house because he was sorry – he said he was sorry. He said he didn't want to hurt me. I trusted him. I TRUSTED HIM!"
Freyja punched the headrest with all her strength. She pounded at the pillows, ripping at the blankets, a savage sort of pleasure rushing through her when she saw her knuckles were bleeding.
"I trusted him and he raped me! He said he didn't want to hurt me and then he hurt me in the worse way he possibly could without hurting the girls! He did something to me that will never be undone, I'll have to live with the memories forever, and he dared say that he didn't want to hurt me?" She couldn't hold it in. She threw back her head and screamed for all she was worth. When her lungs had run out of air, she collapsed onto the bed, weeping and sobbing. "The worst of it is when he came he was crying. I thought something terrible had happened. And all he wanted was to trick me, betray me..."
Ve slid down to lay beside her, rubbing her back gently. "My love, my love," he whispered, his voice breaking. "How I wish I could take this pain from you."
"Nobody can." Freyja sobbed. "My own home, my own brother... And I don't understand why. Why did he want to hurt me like that?"
"I..." Ve fell silent and kissed Freyja's palm. "You said that he was crying, and he said he didn't want to hurt you?"
"Yes."
"What did... Freyja, please do not be angry, I am trying to decipher this, Atum cared about you so much..."
Freyja peeked through her hair, confused. Ve's expression was worried and anxious.
"What was in his eyes when he forced you?"
"I don't remember," she whispered, shuddering. "He didn't want me to look at him."
"If he wanted to see you in pain, he would have made you look in his eyes."
"What are you saying? That he told the truth when he said he didn't want to hurt me?" Freyja pushed at him, disgusted by what he was saying. "He raped me."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Freyja, but there is something..." he kneaded his forehead and cursed. "I tried so hard to remember, but I can't! There was something that I needed to tell you... something you needed to know..."
"No. My brother is dead forever to me. He is only Chthon's spawn now. Like father, like son."
Ve put his arms around her and kissed her. "I wish I could help more."
"Just hold me, Ve. That's all I need." Freyja put her arms around Ve, being as close as she possibly could to him. He put his arm under her head as a pillow. Together, they wept.