Chapter Fifteen
"You look so much like your mother," Skadi sighed, fixing a ruby tiara atop of Idunn's golden hair.
Idunn smiled around at Freyja, Gaea, Skadi, Gullveig and her sisters. Hnossa was beaming, Var and Lofn both shining with excitement, Syn was building a bridge out of toothpicks, Sjofn was helping her Bragi and Idunn dolls practice their kisses, and Snotra stared at Idunn, her eyes as wide as saucers.
"This is the happiest day of my life," Idunn gushed. She wore a pale blue gown with silver trimmings, fitted three-quarter sleeves, a laced bodice, and a split skirt revealing a satin silver petticoat embroidered with stars.
"You look like the sky," Snotra said, awed. "You're even prettier than Mor."
Idunn kissed her sister's forehead. "Nobody is prettier than Mor."
"You are," Freyja corrected. She quietly handed Sigyn to Var. "Take the girls out, will you?"
Hnossa, Lofn, and Gullveig herded the triplets out, leaving the older women alone with the bride.
"I suppose your mother has given you plenty of advice for your wedding night," Skadi said, smiling fondly at Freyja.
"She has."
"The same advice my mother gave to me," Freyja responded proudly.
"Good," Gaea replied promptly. "Be gentle with your young man, Idunn."
Idunn laughed nervously, and then bit her lip. "I... I'm afraid of hurting him."
Freyja put her arm around her daughter's shoulders.
"Usually it is the other way around, although some men don't care about that," Skadi remarked. "My first time... was not pleasant."
"Mine was," Freyja replied promptly. "I had always been told that it would hurt, but it didn't. I still bled, but I don't remember pain. But then, Ve was a very unique man."
Idunn clutched her mother's hand. "But Bragi's legs-"
"They've healed, child," Gaea said, sitting on Idunn's other side. "You need not fear for him. I imagine that you've both thought of ways to handle this particular problem. One thing that I will say, if you have not already, then you should discuss what you want to accomplish, and how to go about accomplishing it."
"We have, a little," Idunn replied with hardly a blush. "But Grandmother, I've heard from Mother and Skadi about their first times, do you not wish to add something?"
Freyja hardly saw the shiver run through her mother before Gaea smiled brightly. "My first time, Idunn, was unforgettable."
"It's time," Freyja said, standing. She fastened Brokk's gift around Idunn's neck, and Idunn touched the delicate flower with a strange look on her face.
"Can I speak with Mother alone for a moment?"
Skadi and Gaea both nodded and left the bridal room. Freyja waited for Idunn to speak.
"This is from that dwarf, isn't it? Please don't lie," Idunn pleaded as Freyja opened her mouth to protest. "It's from him?"
Freyja nodded silently.
"I said I didn't want anything from them."
"He wanted you to have it."
"So that I can be indebted to him for providing one small gift instead of being a father to me?" Idunn spat, but she didn't take the necklace off.
Freyja frowned. "The dwarf brothers and I had an agreement-"
"Did you ever once consider what it was like to grow up without a father? I know we have Uncle Frey, but... On my wedding day, I have no father to walk with me. I don't even have a dead father like Hnossa. I know we call Ve Da, but he's not really, is he? Nobody but us would accept it..." Idunn wiped at the tears in her eyes. "I'm being irrational."
Freyja hesitated. "Idunn-"
"Never mind, it doesn't matter. It's a pretty trinket and if it makes that dwarf feel better about himself, who am I to stand in his way?"
"You don't have to wear it."
"No, Mother, I want to." Idunn clutched the flower for a moment, and Freyja truly thought she was going to rip it off. "And after the wedding I'm going to march into his shop and crush it beneath my heel before his eyes!"
Freyja sighed. "I wish that you and your sisters didn't despise Brokk and his brother so much."
"And I wish that their bulls were turned to steers!"
"Idunn!" Freyja had never heard her daughter speak with such venom. "I didn't know you felt so strongly about this."
"That is because you've never listened." Idunn's creamy white shoulders sagged, and she lowered her face into her hands. "I'm sorry, Mor. I was so happy just moments ago... But I can't help but think, all my sisters are going to go through this. None of us have swords from our father to present to our grooms."
"You and Bragi decided to forego the sword in exchange for the ring only."
"Neither of us have family crests to combine, Mother. Didn't you think of that?"
Freyja bowed her head. "No," she admitted. "Oh, Idunn! I am so sorry, baby."
Idunn turned and buried her face in Freyja's shoulder. "I love you, Mor."
"I love you, too."
It should have been a happy day, but Freyja felt her heart breaking for her daughter. Her girls rarely expressed their feelings about not having a father in their lives. Maybe it was time to do as Ve said. Let a good man love her- Perhaps not love, but care for her. Give the girls a father. Freyja's mind went to Tyr. Would she be content to give up all her lovers and swear fidelity to him?
No. But perhaps one day.
"Let's go," Idunn said, releasing her mother and standing. She smiled brightly. "After all, I can't let my groom wait too long before we go riding, can I?"
"Such a saucy daughter I raised!" Freyja laughed, and they joined the rest of the family.
The group started the wedding song and escorted Idunn through the gardens to the small court, where Bragi and the men already waited at a small fountain. Idunn joined her groom. Several of Idunn's friends were waiting, as were Odin, Frigga and the young princes and many other nobles. Idunn was the daughter of Ve's widow, after all, and so had a claim to court.
Normally, the head of the groom's house would perform the wedding, but since Bragi's family had refused to come, Frey was the officiator. Freyja smiled proudly as Idunn and Bragi joined hands. This was a happy day.
Frey opened his mouth, and that moment Thor started screaming. Every head turned. The prince had thrown himself onto the ground, kicking and twisting as his mother tried to hold Loki with one arm and calm Thor with the other. Odin sighed heavily, bending down to pick up his son. Sigyn started fussing.
"Oof!"
Freyja looked up to see a dazed look come over Odin's face, and Thor's small foot fly at his face again. The toddler scrambled to his feet and ran straight for Gaea. He wrapped his little arms around her knees and giggled.
Frigga burst into tears and fled. Odin turned, opening his mouth, but then stomped over to Gaea. He swung Thor into his arms. Ignoring the ensuing tantrum, the king followed his wife away.
Freyja bounced Sigyn gently to quiet her and hurried to Idunn's side. Her daughter's brilliant beam had faded.
"Are you alright?"
Idunn nodded, though she was clearly upset. Bragi squeezed her hands.
The guests were muttering to one another and after pressing a quick kiss to first Idunn's forehead and then Bragi's, Freyja turned to the guests and called for quiet.
"We are here to witness the start of a marriage," she said, rejoining her mother. "Let us witness it."
Sigyn was still fussing, and Gaea took her, calming her quickly. Freyja smiled for Idunn's sake, but internally she seethed. Maybe if Odin treated Frigga with more respect, her son would actually listen to her!
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Gaea left the celebration as night fell and ale flowed freely. The triplets walked with her, and Sigyn slept in her arms. She imagined the older girls would be joining them soon, but Freyja, Skadi, Frey, and Njord, if the others permitted him, would be the ones to escort Idunn and Bragi to their marriage bed. She only hoped that Freyja would abstain from becoming too silly with drink!
"Your mother, little one, is far too destructive of herself," Gaea sighed as she put the baby in her crib, and then went to check on the triplets to ensure they were in their beds before retiring downstairs.
She reached out for her connection to her youngest son. Thor was calm again, fairly beaming with happiness. Gaea shook her head and withdrew. Poor Frigga! The child took after his father; he would have to learn to control that temper!
There was a beating on the door. Gaea frowned, moving to the entrance hall. She checked through the window to see Odin standing on the porch, his face hard in the darkness.
"Quietly," Gaea said as she opened the door. "There are children in here that need their rest." She frowned as she contemplated Asgard's king. His single blue eye was fired with anger, his mouth set grimly. "What brings you here?"
"Leave Asgard."
Gaea's brow rose. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. I want you gone by noon tomorrow."
"I do not enjoy being told what to do," Gaea said warningly.
"And I do not enjoy watching my wife cry herself to sleep every night because her son will not accept her," Odin shot back. "While you are here, Thor will never form any bond with Frigga. Our agreement-"
"I had no agreement with you, Odin Borson," Gaea snapped back. "I agreed to give you an heir only because Frigga is an honourable woman and she so desperately wanted a child to care for."
"She wants to be a mother."
"And now she has the child you stole from Jotunheim."
Odin's expression grew stormy. "Thor will grow knowing her as his mother, not you."
"It is only her clear love for him that prevents me from taking him from you this instant."
"You will not poison my son against his mother."
"I am Thor's mother."
"Not anymore!"
"You speak boldly, little god," Gaea stepped forward, in her eyes the fire that her eldest son was so famed for. "Consider your next words wisely."
Odin raised his chin. "Hnossa was born of adultery."
Gaea's face paled.
"It is only due to my brother's honour that I have kept my mouth shut about your daughter's whoring with a servant of Chthon," the king continued. "But a living son is far more important than a dead brother. You leave Asgard, never to return, or I will publish these tidings. I will cut Ve's retainer from Freyja and charge her the repayment of the years of my brother's wealth she spent after he should have put her away as the whore she is."
"You-"
Odin continued. "As for her daughters, the older ones are able to choose for themselves whether to join her in debt and poverty. Perhaps they will even join her harlotry to help her pay her debts. But the younger ones, and her new child, I will be gracious to and remove them from the stain of their mother's sin."
It took millennia of learning self-control and rejection of evil that kept Gaea from striking down the insect before her.
"Hnossa is Ve's daughter."
"What proof do I have? The word of another whore who gives away her babies without care."
"Who are you to speak so ill of whores when you are of our numbers? Or do you not remember how eagerly you betrayed your wife to have me?"
"You have until noon tomorrow, or Freyja becomes a pauper."
"Her father is king of Vanaheim."
"Who has debts enough of his own. Will he accept his daughter's with them?"
Gaea took a deep breath. "Very well. I will leave Asgard. But you will rue the words you have spoken this day."
She shut the door in his face and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. A baby's thin wail came from upstairs, and she went to comfort Sigyn. She had no choice. She would leave Asgard, but she would return. She did not abandon her children. Thor would learn of her some day, and if he was anything like every man, woman and child she had met, he would not be happy about being lied to.
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"You should be at home with your babies."
"Father, you have no right to tell me what I should and should not do," Freyja replied coldly to Njord's statement. "And you are not welcome here, now go away."
Freyja, Skadi, Frey, and Njord stood outside of the bridal suite, a fair distance from the door; both so that their whispered conversations wouldn't interrupt the newlyweds, and so that they wouldn't hear the noises coming from the room.
"She is my first granddaughter to wed-"
"I'm not so certain about that," Skadi interrupted, practically spitting out the words.
"This day is for Idunn and Bragi's happiness, will you all stop bickering?" Frey hissed. "And you, Njord, leave. You have not acted like a father or grandfather in years."
Njord looked offended. "Such ignorance you raised in these ungrateful children, Skadi."
"It's better than anything you've done!" Freyja replied sharply. "Perhaps if you weren't so busy starting wars you would have reason to be here. I repeat, go away."
Njord's lips pressed thin. "It is the man's responsibility to ensure that his women stay chaste. It is you and your stepmother that should not be here. Or are you hoping to join in your daughter's wedding night instead of caring for your babies?"
"My daughters," Freyja said coldly, whirling on Njord. "Are the only reason I live. Never say a word against them or I swear you will be unable to father more children by the end of the night!"
Njord slapped her soundly across the face. "How dare you speak to me like that? Ungrateful, whorish-"
That was as far as he got. Frey grabbed Njord's wrist, twisting it around sharply. There was a snap and Njord cried out in pain.
Freyja gasped. She had never seen her twin look so deadly! Frey bent Njord's arm behind his back and as the older god struck back with his free hand, Frey flipped him onto his back.
"You were told to leave," Frey thundered, and Freyja shivered at how much like Atum he sounded. "Now leave."
"You have attacked your father!" Njord grunted, pushing himself to his feet. His eyes watered and he cradled his broken wrist.
"You struck my sister. And I know that you've done the same to my stepmother." Frey advanced, and Njord cringed back. "You were told you were not welcome here. Now leave."
Njord stared at Frey. "I do not recognise my son in you. From this day forward, you are not welcome on Vanaheim."
He turned and staggered away. Skadi hesitated, glancing between the twins before shaking her head and going after him.
Freyja almost protested, but her voice was silent. Frey turned to her.
"Are you alright?"
"No." Freyja shook her head. "What – I've never seen you like that!"
"He hit you."
"He has before!"
"And I should have never let him hit you a second time." Frey closed his eyes, digging his knuckles into his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."
It was what Atum has said. Stop it! Freyja told herself, almost hysterically. This is Frey! He's practically your other half. And yet wasn't there a time once when she trusted Atum more than even Frey?
"Freyja?"
She flinched back from Frey's hand as he touched her shoulder. He withdrew. She gave him a tight-lipped smile.
"I'm fine."
They both turned as the door to the bridal suite opened. Idunn peeked out, her blue eyes narrowed. "What in the Nine Realms are you doing out there? Where did Skadi and Njord go?"
"There was a small problem, and they left to deal with it," Freyja said quickly. "We're sorry."
Idunn's expression did not change, and with a side glance at Frey, Freyja went to the door. To her surprise, instead of being ready to hand her a bloody sheet to signify the consummation of the marriage, Idunn was still in her wedding dress. Her hair was immaculate, and it was clear that nothing had happened.
"What's wrong?" Freyja asked quietly.
"Nothing."
"But-"
Idunn flushed slightly. "We fell asleep. You woke us up with all that noise."
Freyja smiled. "I'm sorry, baby."
Idunn gave her a tight-lipped smile, and slipped back into the room. With a sigh, Freyja rejoined Frey and wrapped her arms around herself. They stood in silence, neither knowing what to say. Eventually Freyja brushed her hand through her fire-red hair. She had dyed it all the same because she was sick of looking into the mirror and seeing two different colours. She desperately hoped that it wouldn't be permanent.
"Sometimes I forget that you're a soldier who has lived through war," Freyja murmured.
"I am sorry, Freyja."
"I know you are. I don't know what I'd do without you and Mother. I've never realised how much I relied on you, before..." She shivered. "But breaking Father's wrist!"
"He has never earned the right to be called 'father'. I know that you think that deep inside he is not a bad man, but you are wrong. If he is what constitutes a good man I should like to change my sex and become a woman. How Gaea could have ever chosen to mate with him is beyond my understanding! And giving us to him to raise..."
"She gave us to Skadi more than Njord. And she was with us growing up. She didn't abandon us."
Frey leaned back against the wall and said nothing. Freyja's brows furrowed. She didn't listen to the people in her life enough, she realised. She opened her mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say, and so closed it again and remained silent.