Don't be too angry with Charlie read to end first!

"First footman," smiling Elsie reached up and straightened Charlie's tie. "I didn't think Richard would ever leave I thought he was aiming for butler."

"So did I and certainly didn't think he'd leave to work in a shop." He tugged on his livery smiling when her hands coverd his. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday but the new title made him feel different, braver. Slipping his fingers through hers, he pulled her closer and dipped his head kissing her deeply.

"Charlie," worrying her bottom lip she looked up and down the corridor glad they where alone. Everyone knew about them, their relationship wasn't a secret it was just something nobody spoke of.

"Marry me," her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Will you marry me Elsie?"

"I ..." he wasn't suppose to ask her yet. She needed more time, she wanted more time before it all fell apart.

"Oh," he let go of her hands and stepped back taking her silence as his answer. He loved her had thought she loved him. It had been a year since the dance and they'd been happy or he thought they'd been happy, he had. Closing his eyes he cursed to himself, he'd done it again. Opened his heart and had it broken, he'd let go of his insecurities and assumed that Elsie was different that she wouldn't do this to him.

"No Charlie," she reached out flinching when he pulled his arm away. "It's not that I don't want to marry you. I do, very much. I love you." It was the first time she'd uttered those words aloud, she'd imagined it many time but never like this.

"You just won't." The broken tone of his voice made her stomach drop.

"I won't because I can't."

He shook his head confused, "I don't understand."

"Surely you have work to do Elsie?" They both jumped at the commanding voice of the housekeeper.

"I do yes, I'm sorry." Looking from the housekeeper to Charlie, Elsie lowered her voice. "I'm sorry." Watching her go Charlie curled his hands into fists, he needed to understand what was going on.

###

Stepping into the yard Elsie closed the door quietly behind her. "I thought I'd find you out here." They spent most of their free time in the yard or walking the grounds trying to find some privicy. "I'm sorry Charlie."

Looking up from his makeshift seat on the old crates he pressed his lips together trying to hold in his emotions. He wanted to cry, to scream and shout. "Why can't you marry me?"

"I have a sister, a younger sister."

"You've never told me that."

"No," she crossed the yard to stand in front of him. "Becky, when she was born." She licked her lips. "She's not right in the head." His shoulders sank at that, realising this was her secret the one that upset her at Christmas and worried her so much. "Right now my mother cares for her, but when she dies ..." She trailed off not wanting to think of her mother's death.

"They'll only be you." He kept his tone even and gentle wanting to encourage her to continue.

"Yes. If I marry you, I'll have to leave service and have no money of my own. I wouldn't be able to pay for someone to care for Becky she'd have to come live with us or you as my husband would have to pay for her care."

"And that would cost a fortune."

"Exactly and it wouldn't be fair, on you, on Becky on our children."

He interrupted, "children?"

"Of course," she smiled for the first time all afternoon. "You'd come to resent it, either Becky living in our home or all your money going to pay for my sister. So you see I can't marry you." She reached out to touch him but changed her mind when she saw the pain in his eyes and dropped her hand heavily to her side. "I'm sorry I should have told you before ..."

"Before we started courting." He stood his mind swimming.

"Before I fell in love with you." He turned his head away, he couldn't look at her it hurt him and confused him in equal measure. Of all the things he'd thought her secret could be a sister that would need to be cared for hadn't even crossed his mind. "Charlie, please."

"I can't Elsie I just can't." Tugging his livery he turned and walked back to the house, he needed to think and he couldn't do that near her.

As the door slammed the strength went from Elsie's knees and she sank to the floor her tears coming quickly. She'd known this would happen but a small part of her had hoped, wished that Charlie had wrapped her in his arms and said it would all be ok.

###

Charlie sat on the edge of his bed and ran his fingers through his hair, why hadn't she told him. Why had she allowed him to fall in love, to believe that they had a future when she knew they didn't. Dropping his hands he blinked. He was an idiot, she loved him. She loved him, wanted to marry him have his children. He stood quickly, then sat back down. It was one in the morning he couldn't speak to her now, he couldn't speak to anyone now. He needed to think, he needed a plan. Elsie Hughes was going to be his wife he just needed to convince her that everything would be ok. He needed to make everything ok.

###

"Can we talk later?" Elsie looked up in shock, it had been two days since she'd told him about Becky and they'd barley spoken. She still made his tea and he still poured her wine but they'd only spoken about the house.

"Ok, the yard after dinner?"

"Yes." He smiled, "Elsie." He held her gaze until she returned his smile. It wasn't the smile he normally received from her but it was enough to give him some hope. Maybe he hadn't ruined things, his plan had taken longer than he had hoped but it was all in place he just needed Elsie to agree.

Taking a deep breath Charlie crossed the yard and placed his hand on Elsie's arm turning her to face him. "I love you."

She smiled, "I love you."

"If I told you that you could stay in service, that you could continue to work here at Downton if we where to marry. Would you say yes?"

"I don't understand, how is it possible?"

"I've spoken to her ladyship," Elsie's eyebrows rose in surprise. Lady Violet was not the easiest person to talk to about anything but especially personal matters and Charlie still stuttered when he became flustered. "She's agreed we can marry and you can continue to work. We can have a cottage. ..." He trailed off needing her to say something, anything.

"Really?" He nodded, "but if we have children."

"When we have children." He paused, "you will have to leave service them. But we will manage Elsie. We will do whatever is best for all us. You, me, our children and Becky. I don't know how because I don't know what will happen. But we will manage Elsie I promise you we ..." She cut him off with kiss.

"Do you mean it?" He nodded. "Then yes, of course I'll marry you."

Laughing he wrapped his arms around her and picked her off the floor kissing her deeply. "I'm sorry ..."

Shaking her head she cut him off. "I'm sorry I should have told you."

"I know why you didn't." Making sure she was steady on her feet he brushed a loose hair behind her ear. "You were scared of how I would react. And I reacted exactly like you were afraid I would. I'm sorry."

"No more apologies, it doesn't matter. Not anymore."

"No, you're going to Mrs Carson."

"I am." He laughed again, he didn't know if he'd ever stop smiling.

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