Chapter Twenty-Six
Freyja marched resolutely into the tavern where Volsak sat, her face grim and determined. He lifted his tankard at the sight of her, the leering grin he always wore expanding on his face.
"Lady Freyja! Come to join the party?"
She slapped him soundly round the face. Many of the onlookers gasped.
Volsak reeled. "What was that for?!"
"What was that for? You've been taking advantage of my eighteen year old daughter!"
His eyes narrowed. "Don't delude yourself, wench. She came to me, every time, and she loved every second of it!"
"You're old enough to be her father! And in case you've forgotten, you're married!"
"And I suppose you've never bedded younger men, or married ones? Didn't know the Whore of Vanaheim had morals!"
Their display had caught everyone's eye by now. Freyja glowered at the worm before her. He actually cringed back slightly.
She spoke very deliberately. "Your affair with Syn ends now, pig, and rest assured, I will make sure you pay her some means of support as she raises your child. I will go to Odin if I must."
Volsak's eyes darkened. "The little slut's pregnant?"
Freyja grabbed his throat. "I am a Valkyrie. Call my daughter a slut again and you will see what that means." She released him, after digging her nails in this neck to leave behind vivid red scratches. She turned on her heel and strode out, slamming the door behind her.
She managed to calm herself by the time she got back home. Sigyn should be back from the palace by now; as Freyja approached, she saw that this was correct. Her youngest was sitting on the porch, talking with a young man. Coming closer, Freyja saw that it was the Crimson Hawk Theoric. He got to his feet and bowed to Freyja.
"Hello, Mor. Theoric walked me home from the palace. He was just telling me about how Bragi made his whole class go up into the hills to find a treasure chest when he had it in his chair the whole time!" Sigyn's eyes were bright. "I would have known."
Theoric smiled at her. "Then you're a lot cleverer than the upcoming guard. Perhaps we should be training you to be a Crimson Hawk."
Sigyn blushed and giggled.
"Thank you for keeping my daughter company," Freyja said to Theoric, and then turned to Sigyn. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yes, but Syn says she's going to stay on Vanaheim for a while and she's not done packing yet."
"If I may, Lady Freyja, I would like to keep your daughter company a little longer?" Theoric asked respectfully.
Freyja surveyed him. Anything is better than Odin's son! she decided and nodded once. "I'll go see what Syn needs help with."
She swept passed them and headed up the stairs. Neither Snotra nor Sjofn had been able to get the time off their jobs to go to Vanaheim on such short notice, but Freyja thought in some ways that was better. She would be able to have more time with both Syn and Hnossa now. Besides, the girls often visited their oldest sister in their own time, and Hnossa often visited them.
Syn was folding an evening gown into a small chest when Freyja came into her room. "I'm almost ready, Mother," she said, glancing around. "I don't have to bring any soaps, I left mine there last time I visited... Could you get my hairbrush, please?"
Freyja complied. "How are you feeling today?"
"Fine."
"I saw Volsak in a tavern-"
"I don't want to talk about him. Not now, not ever. I never want to see his face or hear his name again!" Syn said, savagely slamming the lid of her chest shut.
"Alright," Freyja agreed, deciding that she would have to bring it up sometime later. Volsak would help Syn support his child! "Do you have everything?"
Syn nodded and picked up the chest only to put it back down. "Should I tell Hnossa?"
"Yes. She'll find out eventually anyway. It'll be better to hear it from you. Just don't let your grandfather know."
"He'll find out eventually."
"But we don't have to deal with him right away." Freyja's mood darkened. Njord had threatened to disown her after it was revealed that she was pregnant with Idunn, and the threat had continued ever since. If I wasn't so beautiful, and he didn't think he could use me to make a marriage alliance... Frey is right. We should just cut the old man out of our lives entirely.
"Mor? I'm afraid. I don't know if I can do this. Be a mother. I don't know if I want to."
"Sit with me for a moment." Syn did so, and Freyja put an arm around her. "Being a mother is hard. And if you don't want to raise this child, then I'm sure we can figure something out... There are many people who want to have children who can't."
Syn was silent for a long time. "You would be okay with that?"
"Sweetheart, you're young. And this is a confusing time of life. It's an option, giving up the baby. If you wanted to still be a part of his or her life, I'm sure one of your sisters could take it. Or, since I'm going to have a child close to the same time anyway..."
"I don't have to decide right now, right?"
"Of course not. Take all the time you need to. Just know that whatever you decide I love you."
Syn nodded slowly. "Sigyn will be getting anxious to leave."
"Oh, I don't know about that. She seems to be very interested in talking to a young man outside."
"Loki?" Syn's nose crinkled.
"No, Theoric."
"Never heard of him."
"He's one of Bragi's students."
Syn shrugged. "Let's go. I'm anxious to see Hnossa again."
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"Are you hoping for a boy this time, since you've already had eight daughters?" Hnossa asked as she carefully put in a stitch of her embroidery. She was only forty-three years old, but already wrinkles had formed at the corners of her eyes and her hair was fading, a few strands of silver tucked in among the gold.
"I'm hoping for a healthy child," Freyja replied, settling back with her own embroidery. "A boy or girl, it doesn't matter. There was once a time when I said I wanted no boys at all, but if I was given one I'd try not to ruin him!"
Hnossa laughed. "And what about you, Syn? What new things are happening in your life?"
Freyja glanced up briefly at Syn, who shot Skadi and Sigyn, who were also embroidering with them, uncomfortable looks before shaking her head. "Nothing, really."
"And you, Sigyn?"
"Well, I made friends with a girl named Sif, and with the princes Thor and Loki. They're nice. I spend more time with Loki, though. Thor's more into sword fighting but I can actually talk about things with Loki."
Hnossa grinned. "What sort of things?"
Sigyn shrugged, going red. "Things."
"I hope it's nothing inappropriate," Skadi teased.
"No! We talk about books and stuff."
"Leave her alone, I'm sure that Sigyn has nothing but friendship with the handsome young prince," Hnossa interrupted, winking at Sigyn. "In a few years though..."
"Hnossa!" Sigyn went even redder. "Stop it!"
"Are you going to visit Gully while you're here?" Skadi asked.
"We'll stop by on the way home," Freyja replied. Her relationship with her youngest sister was neutral most times, pleasant enough but they really had nothing in common except their father.
"Can I go see Aunt Gully a little early?" Sigyn asked, her eyes brightening. "Last time I was here she promised to lend me some books of hers."
Freyja nodded once. "You can go now if you want to."
Sigyn carefully folded up her stitching and put her bag next to Freyja's and then skipped out of the room. Freyja completed a few more stitches and then looked up at her oldest daughter and step-mother.
"She will be alright, won't she? Njord isn't going to waylay her and start screaming at her, is he?"
"I don't talk to your father anymore," Skadi informed her. "Haven't for a while. I think he is still upset with me for actually taking him to task for all the women who have been in his chambers instead of his wife. With him being the king our divorce is more tricky, but at least I was able to prevent that ba- back stabbing man-whore from humiliating me further." She viciously stabbed her needle into her cloth.
"Grandfather has been more mild lately," Hnossa informed Freyja. "He has been... pleasant to be around."
"Are you sure this is our grandfather you are talking about?" Syn asked sarcastically, angrily.
Hnossa contemplated her little sister for a moment. "What's wrong, Syn?"
Syn stared at her embroidery.
"Should I leave and let-" Skadi started.
"I'm pregnant," Syn blurted.
Skadi gasped. Hnossa's hands went very still.
"I'm pregnant and the father is a married man!"
"Syn..." Skadi breathed, sounding shocked.
Hnossa set aside her embroidering and embraced her younger sister. "How far along are you?"
"A few months. I... I'm not really certain."
"So what you're saying is that I'll get a niece or nephew at the same time as our youngest sibling?"
"Around the same time, anyway." Syn looked miserable as she looked at her oldest sister. "I don't know what to do."
Hnossa hugged her tightly. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. Cry."
"Then for now, cry."
"Crying doesn't solve anything though..."
Freyja set her needlework aside and gestured to Skadi. They left quietly. Freyja waited in nervous silence as they walked away from the parlour.
"A married man?" Skadi said eventually, her voice low. "Freyja-"
"She knows what she did was wrong, and trust me that man is not coming near her again."
Skadi gave her step-daughter a skewering look. "Well I don't suppose I can fault her for straying from morality. She hasn't had a very good role model in her mother."
"And her mother had an excellent role model, so who's to blame for that?" Freyja snapped back. "I have never involved myself with married men and whatever you may have heard otherwise is a lie! I never encouraged my daughters to follow my example-"
"Actions speak louder than words, Freyja. And as for your role model, you've had a fine one in your father for one! And Jord is no pu-"
"Don't you dare speak against my mother!" Freyja's voice was raising. "You don't know anything about her life!"
"I know enough about yours-"
"You don't know me!"
"Don't I?" Skadi followed her as she turned and stomped away. "I was the one who was there with your first steps and your first words. I was the one who stayed up with you all night when you were crying because your mother left without a goodbye, it was my heart that broke every time I realised that no matter how hard I tried you would never love me like you loved her, even though she was never here!"
"That's because she's my mother and she has never said a word against you and she understands why I do what I do and all you've ever done is try to change me!"
"All I've wanted is the best life for you! All I wanted was to have a child that would call me Mor!"
"You have Gullveig!"
"Gullveig hates me! She believes every word her father says and has refused to speak to me in almost five years!" Skadi shook her head, her normally cool composure completely shattered as tears ran down her face. "You might be able to shrug off what people say about you, but have you stopped to think about the way it reflects on your family? Njord gets by because he is constantly complaining about what a horrible mother I was to you and your brother. Every day I have to defend you from some catty noblewoman who visits Hnossa just for the sake of making snide illusions that she must have been the result of your infidelity with some mortal and I AM SICK OF IT!"
Freyja stared at her stepmother hard. "Then stop defending me. You don't need to. I know the truth, so did Ve and so does Hnossa." No, she doesn't. She doesn't know about Faraldar. Nobody knows about him except me, and Mother. "That's all that matters. I've told you the truth and if you don't believe me-"
"I never said that I don't believe you!"
"But you don't. I could see it in your eyes when I first told you. You think what everybody else thinks. That I betrayed Ve with a mortal." Freyja turned on her heel and stalked away. "And I don't care!"
You are such a liar, a voice in her head whispered. It's just easier to say you don't care than to admit how much it hurts.
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Sigyn sang to herself as she skipped through Vanaheim's palace, looking for her aunt. It was very different than Asgard's palace. There, everything was cold and distant and gold. It radiated power and pride. Vanaheim's carved marbles where delicate, Sigyn thought. The statues were so intricate that often she couldn't believe that they were really stone even when touching their hard, cool surfaces. Plus the decorations in the palace here favoured soft colours, blues, purples, friendly yellows in the occasional room.
"Freyja!"
Sigyn turned to see Njord standing in the door of his study. "No, grandfather. It's Sigyn."
Njord blinked. He walked towards her and he swayed slightly, the way adults did at feasts at just about the time Freyja had one of her sisters shepherd her home. He had been drinking. Njord smiled down at her, looking her up and down the same way Skadi had before she announced how old she was looking, but not the same way at the same time.
"Sigyn. For a moment I thought you were your mother. You're growing up fast, aren't you. A beautiful young woman." He gripped her shoulder and started pulling her towards his study. "Let's talk."
"Um, I was going to talk with Aunt Gullveig..." Sigyn started.
"You can talk to her later. Come sit with your lonely old grandfather." He sat her down in the large chair behind his desk and sat on the desk himself. "How old are you now?"
"Thirteen."
"Thirteen! We'll have to find you a wealthy man to marry you too soon, won't we?" Njord winked at her.
Sigyn flushed. "I'm too young for that!" she protested.
"Not so young, Sigyn. Just look at you!" He frowned. "You need to start dressing more modestly, child. Your bust is too large for such low necks."
Sigyn's face went redder. She tugged her neckline up self-consciously.
"Don't pull at your dress, girl! It's indecent! What is your mother teaching you?" Njord grabbed both of Sigyn's hands and held them down. "You don't really have a chance at a good life with her, do you? Dressing you like a whore already!"
"Grandfather!" Sigyn protested, trying to free her hands. "I'm only thirteen!"
"Thirteen... practically old enough," Njord muttered. "Give it a few years and then I'll find a man for you. Marry you off early so that you don't end up like Freyja. Don't want you to be a whore like her, do we?"
Sigyn jerked her hands out of his grasp. "My mother is not a whore!"
"She is too! A dirty whore, spreading her legs for every man in the nine realms!"
Sigyn pushed herself up, heading for the door, but Njord caught her arm and yanked her back.
"Watch yourself, little one, or you'll end up just like her. You'll have men ripping off your clothes-"
"Grandfather, stop it!" Sigyn cried, wrenching herself from his hands. She fled from the study, her face red, feeling upset and bothered. She was so wrapped up in what Njord had said that she didn't notice Gullveig until they bumped into each other.
"Oh! Hello, Sigyn. I didn't know you were visiting." Gullveig frowned at her niece, crouching to her level. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Sigyn muttered. She didn't want to talk about it; Gullveig might start agreeing with Njord or scold Sigyn for running away from him. "I was just looking for you. You said I could see your paintings?"
"Oh. Right, of course. I just need to talk to my father for a moment and then we can go see."
"I'll wait here for you," Sigyn said quickly.
"Don't you want to come say hi to your grandfather?"
"We already spoke. I think he's a little drunk."
"Oh. Alright, wait here then. I won't be long."
Sigyn scuffed her toes against the floor and tugged her neckline up. Is Grandfather right? Am I dressing like a whore? This was her favourite dress! And she had seen plenty of girls dressed in far more revealing gowns and nobody told them that they were immodest. Sigyn felt a hot ball of anger rising up her throat but forced it back down. She had to stay calm.
It's Mother's fault, she thought, kicking the wall. If she wasn't such a... a whore nobody would say anything about me! She doesn't think about anybody but herself! She certainly doesn't care about what I want! I'm going to learn magic and become the most powerful enchantress in the nine realms and then I'm going to leave home and never come back!
She knew it was a lie, but it made her feel guilty. I love you, Mor, I just wish you'd listen.
Gullveig rejoined Sigyn in a few minutes, and they made their way to her gallery. Gullveig smiled proudly. "What do you think, little niece?"
Sigyn gazed around, eyes wide. "These are beautiful!" She approached one of the pictures. "Is this landscape, the waterfall, here in Vanaheim? I've never seen it..."
Gullveig joined her. "Yes... Father took me up there once. it's in a remote area in the mountains, only accesible on horseback. It's several hours ride from here."
Sigyn gazed at it wistfully. "I'd like to see it... could you take me? Mor said we'd be here for a while..."
Gullveig looked hesitant- she'd always thought of the waterfall as her and Njord's private place. He told her that not even the twins had been there, that this was just for them, but if Sigyn wanted to go...
Compromising, she held out her hand. "Why don't we go and ask Freyja?" With any luck, she'll say no, and this will be forgotten. I'm not losing any more of Father's attention to them if I can help it...