Ello govnas!

Another awesome update. Thanks to my beta purpledragon6, this one will make more sense and have less grammatical errors (is that correct grammar? Can't really tell...)

Anyways, enjoy and don't forget to review!

I'm a lost cause...

I've never been able to stay hrced or fake. I don't know who or what I am these days... I've been backing out of life more and more each day.

First was leaving high school. Why go when I can't keep up with what anyone says in class. Whenever there was an assignment, I'd just set it aside and soon forget about it. I'm dyslexic, and all my teachers did was just pile up on homework and repeatedly ask "Do you need any help, Modesto?"

That's the worst thing you can be asked in a class full of people.

So I left and I got a job at the local gas station and stayed with my mom in some small apartment on the bad side of town. Don't get me wrong, I love her and all, but the woman was another reason I had to drop out. She couldn't keep a job. She always manages to get fired on her first day.

I don't know how she manages to do it, but she does.

I had siblings too. A little brother named Pablo, who was taken from us after a horrible house fire. Which happened when our mom left a cigarette lit on the couch. She didn't even act devastated as they took him away. All there was was this grim look on her face. Pablo was sent to a foster home after that, awaiting a parent to take him in and for the love of a true family.

Sometimes I wish I was taken away. I mean, Pablo has it good, he can grow up in a proper home now. He'll have a wonderful, cheery, typical American life and I just hope he remembers me.

I wonder if remembers me, mom, and dad... Well, maybe not dad. He left the day Pablo was born.

Before my brother was born, dad would take me to school during the week, play football, and take me to the beach on the weekends. I'd always come home to a nice family dinner and it was just the three of us.

Then Pablo was born. We were all so happy. Mom was tearing up, but dad was shocked. He had this scared morbid look going on and that night he drove me home. I stood watching him as he packed his bags, begging him all the while to stay or asking where the heck he was going. That was the first time I saw it. The drugs I mean. There was stacks and stacks of it. He caught me looking and yelled for me to "Turn around!" and to "Stop looking!"

I cried the whole time. He walked over and told me to shut up and called me multiple names in Spanish (one's that to this day I still have no idea what they mean. I even sounded them out and googled them. No help). Moments later he got in the car and drove away. I ran down the sidewalk for him like they did in movies. He only sped up.

I blame him for our misfortunes. I blame him for all the junk that's ever happened to us. He's been gone for eleven years and its been hard since the very first day. After he left, my mom was a wreck. She drank, smoked, and sometimes she never came home until days later. I became used to not having her around. Whenever we did talk, she'd yell at me and blame me for what's happened. That's how it's been for years.

I've been all alone in this world without anyone.

I finally realized all of this two days before Christmas.

I'd just gotten home from the gas station. I sat the groceries down and scanned around the dirty apartment that I'd have to clean later. It was freezing in the apartment. I went to the hall and turned the heat on and went back to the living room. My mom walked in the room in a baby blue robe and smelled heavily of smoke.

"Where have you been?" She asked with a slight scratch to her voice.

I clenched my jaw and said from over my shoulder. "Work."

"Where's the Christmas tree?" She asked next, slurring her words. "I thought Santa was comin'."

"Mom, you're drunk. I don't really want to talk while you're like this."

"Fine then, you dirty b***. I've got someone more important to talk to anyways." She said bitterly as she walked down the hall.

I sighed and started to unpack the groceries. Mainly just chips, bread, water, and pb and J. I then walked back over to the couch and collapsed on it. I was tired from work and walking around all day. This was my daily routine: Work, occasionally grocery shop, then sleep. Nothing more, nothing less.

Minutes later there was a knock at the door. This, I'm admit was new.

My mom came rushing out and opened the door. A man in a white polo and khakis walked in. He smiled at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Who're you?" I asked, for this was the first time anyone even came in here.

"None of you're business." Mom said in an annoyed tone. "Come on-"

"No it is. Since I am the one paying for us to even stay here." I said standing up and walking over to them.

"He's a client and that's all you need to know."

"Since when do you even have a job?" I asked in surprise.

"Since I went out to get one last night." She said with suspicion in her voice.

"Ma..." I grabbed her arm and looked at her. "A job?"

"Yes I got one. Now get your hands off me. I've got work to do." She shrugged me off and went to her room with the guy behind her.

I actually felt a small smile creep onto my face. She...finally found a job. Now we could possibly move out of this dump. Smiling, I sat down on the couch and giggled softly. Then I heard the sound of my mom laughing. Thumping came next, and finally m***. Jumping up, I ran to the back room and kicked the door open. That's when I saw something I wish I hadn't been born to see.

My mom sat wrapped around that guy with only her underwear and bra on. He was just as stripped as her. That's when it clicked. I felt anger and bile rise into my throat as I put two and two together.

"Ma! You're f*** for money now!?" I shouted as he scooted away from her and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Modesto, get the hell out of my room." She said in a hushed voice.

"No!" I shouted. I picked up a shoe from the floor and threw it at the guy's head, feeling a brief need to save my mom's dignity. "Get the f*** out of my house before I throw you out!"

He got up and grabbed his pants and shirt, struggling to pull them on.

"Now!"

"Terry! Don't go!" She shouted after him.

I shoved him out her door, but he shoved me back. Before I knew it, we were going at it in and when he threw punches, I threw some back. Finally, I manage to shoved him down the hall and out the door with a slam.

"Why the hell did you do that!?"

"Because that's nasty, Ma! And wrong!" I shouted walking over to the couch.

"You had no right to kick him out!"

"And you had no right to let him in your pants-Ow!" I turned around and rubbed my head. She'd thrown a plastic salad bowl at my head from the kitchen.

"Why-"

"Get out!" She shouted, her cheeks turning bright red.

"What?" Trust me, there was nothing I wanted more.

"Get the hell out of my house, Modesto! You're just like your father! Thinking you can have total control over my life!" She grabbed a brush and threw it at me. "Leave!"

"Ma, at least let me get my coat!" I shouted reaching for the coat rack only to get hit in the head with one of her shoes. "God okay!"

I walked out the door and slammed it behind me. I still her distant yelling from the street as I headed towards nowhere.

Our fighting never went that far. Usually we'd yell, she'd get drunk, and I would go and lay down. She never kicked me out before. As I walked, I realized I never really understood why we were always at each other's throats all the time.

Sighing softly, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and bowed my head low. I was alone in the empty streets of my city now, hearing that voice in my head who reminded me that nobody understands me.

I felt around in the pockets of my jacket, and pulled out what I knew to be my mother's flask. Uncapping it, I realized that there was still a little left and took the last swig for some reason or another and nearly gagged at the bitter flavour. I then tossed the empty flask in a nearby alley and kept walling. I knew that sip wouldn't do me any good, but I had nothing to lose.

Just before the cross walk, I walked in the middle of the road and attempted to cross the street. If I hadn't, then that car would have never stopped and the driver would've never acknowledged me.

The car before me jerked to a stop suddenly and the headlights shone on me. I shielded my eyes from the light, and two figures emerged from the VW Bug and walked over to me in a hurry.

"Oh my glob, are you alright?" A girl asked quickly.

She had long blond hair that reached down to her hips, amazed blue eyes, and rosy red cheeks from the cold.

"Mmmyeah." I slurred, trying to hurry along this convo for some reason or another.

"Dude, Fi, did we hit it?" A guy asked as he walked over to us.

This guy had to be a half a foot taller than me. His hair was a raven black color and he was a little paler than the girl.

"I'm checking to see if I hit him." The blond said with a touch of annoyance in her tone.

She looked up at me and into my eyes and suddenly I felt safe. For a split second I felt like I was going to be okay.

"Are you okay?" She asked me directly.

"Fionna I think he's drunk." The guy teased as he approached us and surprise showed in his eyes. "He's just a kid."

"Oh glob, we need to get him someplace warm, Marsh. He's freezing." She pressed her white gloved hands to my cheeks to warm me.

The guy took off his windbreaker and put it on me. I huddled closer into the warmth of the jacket and tried to warm up quickly.

"We should take him home." The girl, apparently nicknamed Fi, told her friend as she hugged me.

"Hes not a lost cat, Fi! We can't jus-" I cut off the man quickly.

"My mom threw me out actually... I need a place to stay." I groaned, watching as his face fell, and then he nodded and helped me over to the car. "She's drunk and I just can't deal with her right now."

I got in the backseat of the warm car and rubbed my numb fingers until I could feel them again. The others got in next and I realized just how truly tired I really was. I didn't really care where I was going now, and immediately fell asleep.

"Turn the heat up." Marshall Lee instructed as Fionna nodded and turned it up from the passenger seat.

Fionna had been driving before, but he wasn't going to let her drive after what happened. He tensed up, his hands now on the steering wheel and gripping it as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Marsh..." Fionna muttered, squeezing his shoulder when she saw how tense he was. "Its gonna be okay. We didn't dent the car this time."

"You don't even know what I'm on about." He replied with a smirk.

"No, no I don't." She chuckled softly and patted his shoulder. "But I do know that whatever it is, it's gonna turn out alright."

"Yeah well I'm not really sure what can help this guy. He's knocked out right now and his mom sounds crazy."

"I wonder why she threw him out." Fionna mumbled turning around in her seat and looking at him.

"Fionna, I hate to break it to you, but I think the fact that she was drunk was the problem."

"Yeah, but no one should be alone during the holidays. Christmas time is a time for love and family." Fionna replied with a sad look.

"Yeah well I'm sure someone would come see him if we left him on a bench som-" Marshall Lee felt it.

That glare she gave him when he said something she would call selfish or if he acted impulsively. He sighed heavily under her glare and quickly glanced at her.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?" He dragged out.

"Marshall Lee Abadeer Jr., I can't believe you would consider that." She scolded him.

"Alright first of all, never call me Jr. ever again. Second, he'll be fine. Its not that cold out."

"But what about his family? They'd want to know about it!"

"He only mentioned his mom, and apparently she's a b***."

Fionna gave him the glare again and he shifted his gaze back on the road. Silence fell heavy over the car, and was only broken when Fionna starting speaking again.

"It's not right, Marshall."

"Fionna, I don't know if you forgot who I am or not, but let me refresh your memory. I don't care about him, or anyone else but you. I love you and you only. I just want you to be safe." She still glared at him once more.

"Stop glaring at me!" He groaned as he tried to focus on the road.

"I'm not gonna stop until you take his life into consideration as well!" She shouted back.

Marshall Lee felt unsure, but he did love her. The boy behind him was just disoriented and lost. He didn't look dangerous at all actually, and if he tried anything, Marshall would pound him.

So what did he have to lose?

"Fine, but if Finn asks, this was your idea. Not mine."