Chapter Thirty-Five
Sekhmet's expression was blank as she walked beside Atum. She had been painfully silent for several days now. What was going on in her mind? He didn't know. His eldest daughter was very much like him. Silent about nearly everything. He sighed, wondering how to bring this up. She was still mourning her mother, and if she needed to talk -
"The Elder Mother left a message on the ship."
Atum froze. He would swear, in that moment, his heart actually stopped. Gaea? He deliberately made his voice harsh. "And? What of it?"
"She asked to speak with you. She wishes you to contact her, Father."
He started walking faster. "I am too-"
"No. You are not too busy. You're afraid and ashamed. Why? What did you do? You weep in your sleep, you have nightmares. You curse Chthon and beg for forgiveness." Sekhmet stood in front of him. "Why? What happened? What did you do?"
He pushed past her, a tormented look on his face. "I cannot talk about it!"
"Why?! What is so terrible?!"
"Chthon made me rape my own sister! Alright?!" Atum exploded, unable to keep it quiet any more. "That's why I cannot rest, why I can never return to the realms I once knew. I am a monster. Just like him!"
Sehkmet's jaw dropped. "What?" she gasped.
"Chthon made me rape Freyja."
Her mouth worked soundlessly for a few minutes. "He could not take true command of your mind... coercion, then. What did he do?"
Atum breathed out. "I shouldn't burd-"
"Tell me, Father."
He sighed heavily, abruptly weary. "You know of the world Utop?"
"One of very few realms that has never known true war. What of it?"
"Chthon took that realm in his grasp after besting me in combat there, and would have destroyed it entirely had I not done as he said."
"So you hurt Freyja to spare Utop... and then, knowing you, I assume you simply left without explaining."
"He vowed that he would destroy the world anyway if I breathed a word."
Sekhmet shook her head. "And you never bothered to go back and explain what really happened, did you?"
"I can't put Freyja through seeing me again!"
"Father, you know that I hold you in the highest respect. But you are an idiot at times. Have you not considered the pain of not knowing is worse than the action itself? You are her brother, she loves you and has always trusted you. Whatever Chthon forced you to do, I'd imagine that it's her worse torment not knowing why."
He shook his head. "I can't face her. Or Gaea. They'll never forgive me. And they're right."
Sekhmet contemplated him. "You should be glad he chose Freyja," she said flatly.
Atum's head snapped up. His green eyes widened and went black. "WHAT?!"
"Freyja is strong. If Chthon has chosen the Elder Mother, she would have killed herself afterwards. You know she would have. And if it had been one of your daughters? Me? We all would have either killed you or forced you to kill us. Freyja is strong enough to continue living, and wise enough not to seek revenge."
Atum didn't know what to say. "... I never viewed it in that light before."
"Of course you didn't. You've been too busy punishing yourself." Sekhmet rolled her eyes. "Come along, Father. We're going back to Heliopolis."
He almost hesitated, told her no, but what was the point? She would not give up, and honestly... he was tired of running from it. Let them curse my name. At least then I'll know for sure.
They made their way back to the ship and were soon off.
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Freyja wearily walked to the throne room, where Odin was waiting. She had no doubt he was calling her for punishment for her behaviour earlier... Impossible man!
She walked in with her head held high. To her surprise, Odin did not look angry, merely exasperated. He nodded to greet her. "How is young Syn? And the child?" he added, as if it were an afterthought,
"The baby survived, no thanks to you! A few more hours, though and she would have lost it! What were you thinking? Her dress was soaked through with blood, did you think she was slaughtering cattle?" Freyja's shout echoed in the hall.
"I did not strike her."
"No, you just let her bleed for several hours in a jail cell! She could have died!"
Odin winced. "I did not set eyes on her before the trial; I assumed Snotra was exaggerating."
"And why would you have reason to believe that? When have any of my girls lied to you?"
"Truthfully, never. But threat of imprisonment makes people act out of character. Speaking of, I found Sigyn eavesdropping on the court earlier. I found her reaction when I reprimanded her to be most disturbing."
Freyja tensed. "What did she do?"
"She acted like you."
Freyja's eyes flashed. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"She flew into an unnecessary temper, would not calm down and spoke to me with a complete lack of respect."
Good girl! "She has every right to be furious, as does my whole family!"
Odin closed his eyes. Freyja thought he might be praying for patience. "Just know that I will mete out punishment if she treats me in that manner again."
"Understood," Freyja said. "And what compensation are you going to give to Syn?"
Odin floundered for a minute. "What would you deem suitable?"
Freyja narrowed her eyes. "You're not going to fight me on this one?"
"Of course not. What Volsak did was reprehensible. He owes her compensation for putting her life and her child's life in danger."
"Then if I demand he pay Syn some support for raising this child, you will enforce it?"
Odin nodded.
"Good." Freyja folded her arms and tapped her foot. "Now as for what you will give to her in payment of putting her and her child at risk-"
"Me?!" Odin's eyes bulged.
"Yes, you! If you had not left Syn alone for so long, bleeding, the damage would not have been so great!"
"I already told you, I did not see her!"
"It was under your orders that she was kept there. Did none of your men inform you as to her state?"
"I...no."
"Let me guess. You didn't ask."
"I am a busy man!"
"And there is blood all over that cell!" Freyja clenched her fists to keep herself from slapping the king. "You will compensate my daughter for this injustice, Odin!"
He stood up, towering over Freyja. "And if I refuse?"
She did not back down. "Then you never get to speak to Ve again."
Odin's face darkened. "You cannot prevent-"
"You think he'll want to see you when I tell him what you did? That's without mentioning the fact that only I know the ritual to bring him back!"
"I will take the amulet from you-"
"The living come before the dead. Ve would agree."
Odin glowered in silence. Freyja arched a brow and waited.
"I see you have to think about it. I will be with my daughter."
She turned and strode out, head held high. She hadn't gone far when Odin grabbed her arm suddenly. She yelped. She hadn't heard him follow her! He dragged her into a closet and slammed the door while pushing her against the wall.
"What are you doing?!" She hissed, trying to sound furious even though her heart was pounding.
"You will not keep me from my brother. I will do whatever it takes!"
Freyja reached for the door but he pushed her against the wall again with his body. Memories long suppressed, of being held against her will, flashed through Freyja's mind. "Let me go!"
"Not until you give me what I want!"
Freyja shoved against him. "No!"
He slapped a hand over her mouth. She shook her head and couldn't stop frightened tears from rolling down her cheeks.
His eye widened at seeing her crying and he stepped back. He didn't release her for a moment. "What is wrong with you?"
She fought to stop trembling. "Just get your hands off of me!"
Odin stepped back again. "Keep my hands off you? Don't flatter yourself!"
"Flatter?" Freyja's eyes turned to fire. "You think it's flattering to be treated like some sexual object that exists to pleasure a man? You think it's flattering to cry and beg for him to stop but he just ignores you and-"
She cut off suddenly.
Odin eyed her suspiciously. "What?"
"Nothing!"
" That was-"
"None of your business! Now let me out of this cupboard or rumours will start." She folded her arms.
He reluctantly stepped aside. Freyja stepped out, breathing heavily. Thankfully, the hall was still deserted. Odin followed her, frowning.
"I will continue seeing Ve."
"And you will give Syn compensation for your negligence."
"Fine! If that's what it takes to get you to be quiet, fine!"
"Good." Freyja hastily wiped at her eyes. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my daughter needs me."
She pushed past Odin, already focusing only on Syn and not on what she thought Odin was doing... Were her daughter and the baby still alright?