Chapter Thirty-Six
Atum took a deep breath as he exited the ship, Sekhmet close behind him. Heliopolis looked the same as it always had, buildings and pyramids gleaming under the harsh sun, streets well worn from years of being travelled upon. Atum managed a smile. Good to know some things have not changed.
As he and his daughter descended from the ship, he tensed. Gaea and Thoth were waiting on the docks. He paused, on the verge of going back into the ship and leaving. He couldn't face this! Sekhmet read his expression and caught his arm, scowling.
"Settle this," she hissed.
He swallowed hard, and not looking at Gaea strode forward. "I'm going to my residence," he announced to no-one in particular.
"Good." Gaea and Thoth both fell into step beside him.
He groaned inwardly- he hadn't meant for them to come with him! He walked faster pointedly ignoring them both and staying silent. Neither of them spoke. Atum glanced backwards, but Sekhmet was swarmed by city officials - probably asking about him. He continued to ignore everything until he was in his own home.
Gaea moved to stand directly in front of him as soon as the door closed. "Aren't you even going to greet me?"
He stared at the floor and didn't respond.
She swallowed hard, and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. "Atum, the last time I saw you... I was angry. Terrified. Confused. I wanted to ask why, but... I just... But I'm listening now. So tell me. What happened that night?"
He shook his head, not even fully aware he was doing it. "I can't..."
"Brother," Thoth stepped forward. "We hath learned of certain things on a planet called Utop. Start there."
A shudder ran through him as he forced himself to begin speaking, words he'd never voiced before now. I hope Chthon does not know I am doing this. I did not go through this exile just to have Utop destroyed anyway.
Gaea had tears running down her face by the time he was finished and he sat down, feeling weak and exhausted. He hung his head, not looking at his mother or brother. Gaea slowly came forward and put her arms around him.
"Oh my son, my son!"
Atum stiffened in her embrace, remembering all too vividly how Freyja's had felt when he had told her to put her arms around him. He pulled away. He didn't want to be touched at all, unless it was struck with fists.
"She was so shattered. Beyond repair, it seemed..."
Gaea wiped at her tears. "Atum, I am not going to lie. It did shatter her. It took all of her strength to keep going. But she isn't as fragile as you think. Yes she was shattered, but she didn't stay shattered. She learned to cope. She's been healing. Better, it seems, thank you."
He stared at her in disbelief. "Me? I do not deserve to be anything other than broken!"
"Brother, that is the most confounded lie mine ears hath ever heard!" Thoth exclaimed. "The actions of Chthon are not yours to burden. Thou saved an entire world of peace from his destruction!"
"And ruined my sister's life forever in the process!" He turned, fully intending to storm out.
"Halt!" Thoth cried.
"Don't turn your back on me, Atum. Please." Gaea's voice was almost a whisper
He paused, torn. He wanted to stay... but Gaea and Thoth would be better off without him. He took a step - only for something heavy to knock into the back of his head. He braced his feet to keep his balance, then whirled to see who had assaulted him. Thoth calmly rubbed his hand together. A glowing rune appeared between them and he flung it at Atum.
This time the sun-god ducked, glaring at his brother. "Stop that!"
"Not until thou cease thy foolishness." Thoth formed another rune.
"I said-"
"Atum!" Gaea's voice was sharp this time. "You have wandered in exile long enough. It is time for you to come home."
His heart twisted. "How can I ever just go back? I've done such harm."
"Because Freyja will never forgive you until she knows why. And you need her forgiveness." Gaea stepped forward. "And if you think that you deserve her anger and hatred, then think about what she deserves. Do you think she deserves this empty ache, wondering why, the burden that hatred weighs down on her?"
Atum flinched. "And if I can't face her?"
Gaea's shoulders slumped. "I don't know.'
Atum hesitated. "I will speak to Frey. I don't think I can look at Freyja yet."
Gaea nodded. "Very well. Come back to earth with me. We have a lot to talk about."
He nodded mutely, letting her lead him. He ignored Sekhmet's smirk and Thoth's relieved smile. Still, he felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He took a deep breath and let it out. Perhaps there was hope after all.
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Sigyn trembled as she entered the throne room and waited for Odin to acknowledge her. Would he even allow her to speak, after how she had treated him? He seemed to take far too long to finish reading the parchment he held, which only made her more nervous. Eventually, she cleared her throat.
"My lord?" Her voice was meek.
He looked up. "Lady Sigyn. What are you doing here?"
"I... wanted to apologise for my earlier behaviour. I was angry and scared but I should not have talked to you the way I did."
"Hmm. I can understand being angry, and worried for your sister, but I would have expected more restraint."
Sigyn hung her head. "Truthfully I have been having a lot of difficulties in my life right now and it's difficult to keep everything restrained."
"All young people go through that, Sigyn. You must not let it control you."
Sign shook her head. "All young people do not have to deal with men putting their mother up for sale at a charity auction."
Odin sighed. "That got out of hand... but you must see she does her reputation no favours!"
"My lord, if reputations excused actions than-" Sigyn bit her tongue before she completed the sentence. "My mother doesn't deserve the treatment she gets.'
"I don't know what you expect me to do about it. People's free will cannot be subjugated."
Sigyn shook her head. "I came merely to apologise."
"Apology accepted. Now, if there is nothing else? I have much to do, and no doubt Loki will want to see you." Odin dismissed her with a wave of the hand.
Sigyn frowned at the king. Tears came to her eyes and she turned away. A sob escaped her throat before she could reach the door. Odin didn't appear to notice. Sigyn fled, trying to hide her misery. She walked along the palace corridors without noting where she was going. Odin's words about Freyja, and her mother's frequent quarrels with the king, had just cemented themselves into one undeniable fact: They would never consent for their children to marry. Ever. She could never be with Loki, no matter how much time passed.
She kicked a stone. The best she could hope for is if they relinquished over a child... but she had always wanted to remain a virgin until her wedding. Her face burned as she remembered her all-too-recent brush with nearly changing her mind. No, she couldn't do that again... but how else could she reconcile them? Loki was, at that moment, all she wanted!
She slumped to the ground, defeated. She would always be his friend, but perhaps it was time to stop thinking that she loved him.
But you do. A small voice in her head protested.
"Shut up," she muttered to herself. Yes, Loki was important to her, but was it the sort of love that could lead to marriage? How could she know? She sighed. Why was life so confusing?
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Freyja stroked Syn's blonde hair as her daughter ate the specially prepares lunch that would strengthen her baby. Syn was in bed, because Eir said rest was important, and though she was still pale she looked better.
"I decided what I'm going to do," Syn announced. "With the baby."
Freyja nodded seriously, vowing to support Syn no matter what. "And?"
Syn swallowed. "I'm going to keep it. Nearly losing him like that was... I didn't know until then that I wanted him in my arms. And then I thought about giving him up and I just... I can't do that, Mother."
Freyja kissed her forehead. "You're not alone in this, Syn. I will do whatever I can to support you."
Syn smiled tremblingly. "Mor, I know you don't have the wealth you once had."
She stroked Syn's hair. "I have enough. I will not make you stand alone with this child."
"I won't stand alone. I'm getting married."
Freyja's jaw dropped. "What?! I didn't even know you were... to who?"
"His name is Leif. He's a good man and a fine warrior."
"Syn... are you sure? Not many men will take on another's child."
"He knows. He has agreed."
Freyja breathed out shakily. "How do you know him?"
"He was my first."
Freyja closed her eyes for a minute. "Do I know him?"
"He's Tyr's nephew."
"Tyr's nephew?" Freyja sighed. "I hope he is like his uncle."
Syn nodded, smiling fondly. "He is. He is always gentle with me, always polite, and utterly loyal."
"You've never talk about him before."
"I know. But he will be a good father to my child. And he can help me support it."
Freyja nodded, determined that she would meet Leif soon enough. "Odin will make Volsak pay you recompense for assaulting you, as well as child support. He's also going to give you something to compensate for his own actions in the matter."
Syn's eyes widened. "And what head injury made him make that decision?!"
Freyja resisted the urge to tell her she had had to blackmail him. "I suppose he just wants to do the right thing."
Syn reddened slightly. "I'll have to thank him."
"I suppose."
There was a knock on the door. Frigga stood there. Her pregnancy was starting to show and it made her dress tight around her middle.
Freyja smiled warmly. "Lady Frigga. I didn't expect to see you today."
"I wanted to make sure young Syn was alright.'
Freyja nodded, glancing back over her shoulder. "Syn? Are you up for a visitor?"
"I suppose." Syn fiddled with her fork.
Frigga entered, smiling warmly. "How are you feeling, Syn?"
"I'm alright, your highness," Syn nodded respectfully, her cheeks flushing.
The queen eyed her carefully, her hand protectively on her own stomach. "And your child? All is well?"
"Yes, my lady. Eir says there should be no permanent damage."
"That's good." Frigga fidgeted with her sleeve. "I am sorry that you were left so long unattended. I will be having words with Odin about that."
"I think Mother already has."
Frigga's gaze darkened. "I will still be having words with him."
Freyja smirked, glad Frigga was on her side.
"What about Volsak?" Syn looked anxious. "Will he come after me and the baby again?"
"I don't think so. " Frigga sat down on the edge of the bed. "His wife and son have come forward with allegations that will assuredly get him banished."
Syn sighed in relief. Freyja, however, frowned. "If he's banished, how will he be made to pay for the baby's upkeep?"
"Syn will be given a lump sum designed to be sufficient until the child is grown. And Fandral has agreed - truthfully, he suggested - that a portion of his land inheritance will be set aside for the child's use, to own once he or she turns eighteen."
Freyja nodded, satisfied. Syn frowned thoughtfully. "Will my getting married change that in any way, my lady?"
"Married?" Frigga's brows rose, but she shook her head. "No. But can I ask when you intend to marry?"
"I'd imagine in a few weeks."
Both the elder women looked at her in shock.
"...so soon?" Frigga managed.
"I had a talk with my husband-to-be while I was on Vanaheim, and he's agreed to marry before the baby is born." Syn's voice was matter-of-fact. "There's no point in delaying it."
"Yes, but, Syn... that's awfully fast. Are you sure?" Freyja looked anxiously at her daughter.
"Yes." Syn's voice left no room for argument.
Frigga's brow furrowed. "Who is your intended?"
"His name is Leif."
"Leif... that is familiar. Isn't he kin to Tyr?"
Syn nodded. "His nephew."
Frigga's face cleared. "Oh yes, I remember. I wasn't aware you two even knew one another?"
"We do." Syn shoved a mouthful of food into her mouth.
Freyja smiled. "I think my daughter is saying that she would like this visit to be over."
Frigga laughed. "I agree. I'm glad to know that you are alright, Lady Syn. If there is anything you need, please just ask for me. And if Odin doesn't give you a proper recompense, let me know. I have ways of dealing with him."
After the queen was gone, Freyja folded her arms and frowned. "That was rude."
"I don't have to justify my life to her."
"She is our queen, and my friend. You could show a little more courtesy."
Syn shrugged. "I don't feel like talking to people."
"Should I leave, then? Or would you like to see one of your sisters?"
"No, I think..." Syn trailed off and sighed. "I think Snorta and Sjofn should come sit with me. I owe them an explanation."
Freyja nodded, walking quietly to the door. "I'll fetch them. Finish your meal."
"Yes, Mor," Syn sighed.
Freyja smiled. Always stubborn, ever since she was a baby. And now she was going to have a baby. Her hand drifted to her stomach. My first grandchild the same age as this child.
She nodded once. This was the last baby she was going to have.