Chapter Thirty-Seven

Frey hurried across Midgard's landscape, heart in his mouth. Mother never calls for me! He glanced around, puzzled, at the desert region. Odd. Gaea usually favoured fertile, green lands, not barren wastes. What was going on? He walked some distance, then froze when he made out the figure of his eldest brother ahead of him. If Atum's here, this must be serious.

He broke into a jog, and was soon beside his brother. "Atum. Where is Mother?"

Atum couldn't meet his eyes. "Inside. She only asked you here so I could talk to you."

"About what?" Frey was truly perplexed now.

"Freyja."

Relief rushed over Frey. "Good. I've been trying to figure out a way to contact you. I know that whoever did that to her is powerful and dangerous, but you can find him, right? The bastard doesn't deserve to live. I'll help-"

"Frey." Atum turned around, shoulders sagging. "Please."

Frey narrowed his eyes. "Please what? Don't you want to find the man who raped our sister?"

Atum's eyes widened. "You don't know?"

"Don't know what?"

"Frey... I raped Freyja."

Frey froze, and shook his head. "I'm sorry, what? I think I must have misheard you." His voice had gone steely.

"Frey-"

"I know I misheard you because there is no way-"

"I raped Freyja."

The only indication that his words had sunk in was Frey flinging a dagger at him. Atum dodged the blade, but Frey used the time to draw his sword. The sun-god held his hands out. "Frey-"

Frey's roar of anger didn't give him a chance to finish. His younger brother attacked as though he meant to kill, pure rage in his eyes.

"HOW COULD YOU?"

Atum struck out, pushing aside the sword. Frey punched at him. He grabbed his brother's wrists, so Frey head butted him. He tried to push Frey away, but the Vanir was like a creature possessed.

"Frey, stop!"

Frey twisted out of Atum's grasp and grabbed his dagger again. This time Atum wasn't fast enough to dodge it, and the blade bit into his shoulder. Frey, his face a murderous mask, yanked the dagger back out- only to plunge it in again in another place. Atum stumbled back, his heart hammering - a blade alone could only injure him.

"Frey, stop!"

His brother stabbed him again.

"Demogorge!" Atum choked out, fighting to keep the demon contained. His skin started to bubble.

Frey continued attacking- he didn't appear to have heard Atum at all, or noticed the danger. Desperate, Atum managed to gasp out one thought. Gaea!

"DIE!" Frey screamed. "JUST DIE!"

"Frey, stop!" Gaea's frantic voice barely reached Atum as the red wave threatened to over-ride his vision and his sense.

"HE RAPED FREYJA!"

Gaea rushed forward and grabbed his arm. "Stop! Demogorge is going to emerge!"

"I don't care!" Frey fought Gaea's hold, beside himself.

Atum breathed deeply, feeling the pain burning in his shoulders and abdomen. The demon was rising in him and he didn't know if he could stop it.

"Gaea-" his voice choked off. She struggled to hold Frey. Atum did the only other thing he could think of; he ran, putting distance between himself and them.

Frey nearly tore from Gaea's grasp. "COWARD!" he screamed after his brother.

Gaea grunted with effort, but managed to restrain him. "Frey... calm... DOWN."

"HE RAPED FREYJA!" Frey roared.

"Frey!"

"HE TOLD ME!"

"I know!"

Frey stopped short, mouth hanging open. "You know?"

Gaea nodded wearily. "Why do you think she and I refused to tell you who it was? We knew you would do this and get yourself killed."

"He deserves to die! Look at what my sister became because of him!"

Gaea stood in front of him. "Frey, please listen. He didn't want to, he was forced to."

Frey laughed.

When Gaea didn't react, he shook his head. "How could anyone be forced into that?"

"Chthon."

"Chthon?! Chthon? How can you believe that?"

"Because it is the truth. Frey, please..."

Frey's blue eyes were steely. "Where's the proof?"

Gaea's gaze was steady. "I trust Atum's word. And it fits with Chthon's movements all those years ago."

Frey hesitated. "You have always been unnaturally forgiving of Atum."

"I couldn't forgive this if he was acting of his own wishes."

"But you honestly believe he wasn't?"

"Yes." Gaea could tell Frey was calming. She prayed she'd convinced him. "If you'd just let him explain-"

"No. He will show me why he did it. And Thoth will mediate, to make sure it's not a lie."

Gaea sighed. "If you can promise to stay calm."

At Frey's terse nod, she closed her eyes. Atum. Frey needs to speak with you. Please.

There was no response.

Tears burned Gaea's eyes. He'd finally reached out to her, and now... Please. Do not shut everyone out again.

Thoth came running into view. "Mother! Demogorge!"

Gaea's heart froze. Not now!

Thoth panted. "I tried to force a reverse transformation, but I couldn't."

A deafening roar proved his words. Demogorge soared into view, clawed hands grasping as it searched for them. Frey gasped, grabbing Gaea's arm. She pulled away.

"Thoth, together."

The avian god ran to join them. All three stood shoulder to shoulder, facing the Demogorge. It landed, black eyes rolling in its head. Frey trembled. What could he possibly do? Gaea and Thoth began to chant in unison.

Demogorge's eyes locked on Frey. He backed up, grasping his sword again. Did it recall that he was the one who had injured Atum? The creature reared onto its back feet and roared, reaching for him. Gaea's voice became almost frantic. Thoth's chant remained steady. Demogorge stumbled, as if it was forgetting what it was doing. It shook its head, and let out a plaintive cry.

Frey's heart pounded in his chest. His mother and brother's chanting became louder, and Demogorge's skin began to shift, as if something moved beneath it. Frey watched in fascinated horror as the red flesh split, revealing not blood but golden skin, glistening with something. He stepped forward, and peered closer. The red skin dissolved, leaving Atum laying on the ground, panting. Frey couldn't bring himself to go nearer at that moment. He let Gaea and Thoth move to Atum's side.

The sun-god held out his hand and shook his head. "Don't. Not yet."

Atum looked up at him, and the amount of pain in those eyes- Frey looked away, unable to think what to say.

"Don't try that again, Frey," Atum ground out. "You aren't powerful enough to kill me."

Frey scowled. "You deserve it."

"I know. But you would die in the attempt."

"This is true," Thoth added unhelpfully. "But brother Frey, this brother of ours does not deserve death."

"You didn't see what became of Freyja!"

"And thou hast not seen what has become of Atum!"

"Enough!" Gaea intervened. "Frey, you gave me your word you would listen."

Frey retreated. "I said I wanted to see for myself."

Atum stiffened. "No."

"Atum, it will help."

He lurched to his feet, staggering away. "I will not relive that again!"

"Then I have no reason to believe anything you say!" Frey reached for his knife again.

Gaea stepped forward and put her hand on Atum's shoulder. "Please. I don't want to lose you again."

He threw her hand off, striding forward, placing a hand on Frey's forehead. "Fine. But remember, you asked for this."

"Let me mediate-" Gaea started, but the memories started flooding between the two brothers.

Frey found himself on a green, fertile world. The sense of tranquility was obvious even in the memory. He heard voices, and turned to see Atum, pinned down by Chthon with a blade to his throat.

"Of course you would, there is no need to answer me. I am going to give you a chance to save this world, Atum. Your mother will be so proud of you for protecting these weak little people..." Chthon laughed. "I will leave this place wholly and completely, and all you have to do is one thing that I tell you. Well, I suppose it is more than one thing, but the culmination will only be one thing."

"What do you want me to do, then?"

There was a muddled sound. Frey felt sick as he watched a cruel smile cross Chthon's face.

"Either "rape" your sister to show her what becomes of whores, or watch this world burn and her people die slowly." Chthon pulled the blade from his throat. "It's time to decide."

"No."

"Perhaps I will have to teach the whore a lesson myself, then."

"NO!" Frey bellowed.

"Don't waste your breath." Atum appeared beside him, looking heartsick. "This is a memory from years ago."

Frey shivered, looking out at the world again. "This is how he made you hurt her?"

"Yes. I have never forgiven myself. But I could not let this world die."

The scene changed, rippling. And Frey found himself in Freyja's old house, watching Atum walk towards Freyja's bedroom.

Freyja opened the door, wearing a robe. Atum marched in, face stoic. Frey could hear Chthon's telepathic commands. He saw Atum pull the tie from Freyja's robe- And turned away. "I can't watch this."

He looked at Atum, and was surprised to see sweat popping out of his forehead. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes. "I can't stop it!"

Frey winced and shuddered as he heard Freyja cry out. Against his will, he turned, to see Freyja pale-faced and motionless as Atum brushed and braided her hair.

"What..." Frey couldn't continue. He didn't want to see this. His eyes filled with tears. He didn't know what to do. His voice and heart breaking, he looked at Atum. "How did you survive?"

"I don't know." Atum's voice was haunted. "I wish I hadn't, sometimes."

"And you never told her."

"Firstly, I never told anyone until about a week ago. Secondly, you refused to believe me at first. Do you really think she would? Even if she wanted to set eyes on me again, which I imagine she does not."

Frey turned away again as the scene changed, this time showing Atum on top of Freyja, her sobs soft in the room, both of them panting. His fists clenched. "Why hadn't you killed Chthon?"

"I've tried. I came close once. He has shied away from me ever since. But I will. Someday."

Frey covered his ears.

"Why can't I stop it?" Atum's voice was almost a whimper.

"Mayhap re-opening thy wounds will enable to heal correctly."

They both whirled.

"Thoth?!"

The avian god waved, looking at the ceiling. "Before thou accusest me, this is not my causing."

"I didn't say it was." Atum snapped. "But what are you doing here?"

"Mother is concerned. You have not emerged for hours."

Frey shook his head. "It can't be that long."

"Journeys into one's mind oft take deceivingly long, brother Frey."

Thoth glanced over his shoulder and shuddered. "Atum, brother, you need to think of another memory."

Atum's voice was choked. "I can't."

"Think!" Thoth shouted. "Think of her birth."

"What?" Atum sounded dazed.

"Her birth. You tended mother. What do you remember?"

Atum's brow furrowed, and the memory shifted, blurring. Only to show Freyja laying on the ground, screaming, while her stomach pushed and stretched. Atum knelt over her, drawing his sword.

"Hnossa's birth?" Frey queried, though it was obvious.

"My fault. Everything is my fault." Atum sank to his knees. "I should never have been born."

Thoth smacked the back of his head and managed quite an impressive glower. "Do not spout such nonsense!"

Atum shook his head. "Look at what I've done."

Frey surprised even himself by speaking up. "You've prevented the elder gods from destroying everything more times than I can count."

Atum was silent. Frey and Thoth exchanged looks. If he wouldn't respond to them, how would they ever break free of this place?

"Freyja is healing," Frey said. "And Hnossa is happy."

Atum winced. "Hnossa will die in the blink of an eye because of me."

"Hnossa loves her life."

"Yes, because I am not in it."

Thoth rolled his eyes and smacked Atum across the head again. "Stop thy pity-party, it doth nothing except alienate thou from others."

Atum's eyes flashed. "Maybe I want to be alienated."

"No, thou dost not."

Frey reluctantly nodded. "You need to stay close to the people who care."

Atum's face twisted with pain and remorse. "How can I just go back as if none of it happened?"

"You don't go back. You move forwards. Like everyone else does."

Frey sighed and turned away. "At least Freyja will know the whole story now."

Atum tensed at the words, but nodded. "It's for the best." His voice was dull.

Thoth sat down. "Art thou going to face her?"

Atum paused, half-shook his head, then shrugged. "If she wants me to."

Frey watched the memory of Atum carrying an unconscious Freyja and her screaming baby. His face was full of fear as he ran for the palace, screaming for help. There was blood everywhere.

"She won't listen. Not for a long time, at least."

Atum nodded, eyes seemingly permanently affixed to the ground. "It is for the best."

"You keep saying that. It's not true."

Atum threw his hands up. "What do you want from me, Frey?"

"How about an apology?"

"I do not need to apologise to you for anything!"

Frey rolled his eyes. "How about to Freyja?"

"You just said she wouldn't consent to see me!"

"She won't. Bit for all your moaning you haven't said that you wish you could tell her."

"I don't. I do not want to see her face when I tell her I did Chthon's bidding, whatever the reason."

Frey shook his head and looked at Thoth. The avian god shrugged. The three sat in silence, not know what to do.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Freyja wearily collapsed into bed. What a day! Syn had been moved home at last, and all her daughters had been bustling around trying to make things comfortable. Freyja was going to Vanaheim the next day to tell Hnossa that Syn was going to marry... she hoped that she could avoid Njord altogether

A knock at the door startled her. She wasn't expecting anyone... She got up slowly, brow furrowed.

"Who is it?"

"Sigyn."

Freyja frowned- why was her own daughter knocking as if she were a guest?

"Come in."

Sigyn came in. Her eyes were red and puffy. Freyja patted the bed beside her.

"What's wrong?"

"Loki kissed me."

Freyja flinched inwardly, but smiled at her daughter. "That's good news, isn't it?"

Sigyn shook her head.

"Did you not want him to kiss you?" Freyja tensed. "Did you tell him not to?"

"No." Sigyn lay down, hiding her face. "I've been dreaming of a kiss like that for so long."

Freyja stroked Sigyn's hair. "Then what's wrong?"

"You hate him."

"I don't hate him."

Sigyn shook her head. "You don't like him, and you hate Odin. How could you ever accept it if I wanted to marry him?"

Freyja took a deep breath. "I would, if it was what you truly wanted."

Sigyn looked shocked. "Y-you would?"

"Yes. If Loki is the one you love... I won't deny you that love. I just want you to be happy."

Sigyn leaned her head on Freyja's shoulder. "Thank you, Mor."

Freyja kissed her head gently. "Anything for my daughters."

Sigyn smiled. "Can I tell you about it."

"Your first kiss?" Freyja smiled. "Of course!"

Sigyn giggled, face reddening. She began to explain what had happened that afternoon.

Freyja smiled, trying to appear supportive. After all, she deserves my support after everything that has happened.