Chapter Thirty-Eight

Gaea anxiously watched over her three sons. It had nearly been a full day! Why hadn't they not emerged from the memory? She examined each of them closely yet again. As far as she could tell, it was a normal shared trance. So why did they not wake? She hesitated. Adding yet another set of memories could be dangerous. She thought for a moment. If they had not roused by sundown, she would go after them. She resumed pacing, a frown on her face.

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The memory seemed to be stuck on repeat, jumping from Hnossa's birth to Freyja asking Atum if he was going to kill her back to Hnossa's birth. Atum refused to talk to his brothers.

Frey glanced helplessly at Thoth. "Any ideas?"

The avian god shook his head. "I hath none. Unless perchance we can change to one of our memories."

"Would that work?"

"It is the only solution I canst think of. But it must be a memory we both share."

"What memory do we share?"

"When thou werest young and came to mine library with thy sister."

The recollection made Frey grin. "You actually want to relive that?"

Thoth put on a brave face. "For our elder brother, I shall."

Frey tried not to laugh as he called to mind the day, so long ago, when he and Freyja, led by Gaea, had walked the sun-gleaming streets of Heliopolis for the first time...

Freyja skipped ahead of them while Frey clung to Gaea's hand. They were visiting Thoth on Heliopolis, and he was just glad to be with his mother and away from Njord. More than anything he wanted this to last forever, to have Skadi join them and never have to see the man he was forced to call father again. He didn't deserve the title.

"Freyja, don't run!" Gaea called exasperatedly.

"Why not? I'm not going anywhere!"

"Because I said so. I want you to stay close, like Frey."

Freyja scoffed. "Frey's scared! I'm not!"

"I know you're not scared, you never are. But this is not Vanaheim, and you cannot wander off."

Thoth walked nearby, his nose in a book. Freyja pursed her lips and bounded to him... "I want to hold Tooth's hand!"

Atum roused himself. "What is this?"

"The first time I met the twins, do you recall, Brother?" Thoth's voice was perfectly conversational, as if the past hours hadn't happened.

"I..." Atum stood and joined his brothers, watching the memory. "I forgot how small you two were."

Frey grinned. "I never realised how tiny we must have looked to you, at that age."

Atum managed a small smile.

They turned their gazes back to the memory. Thoth-of-the-past was sighing as ten-year-old Freyja kept deliberately standing on his feet, giggling.

"Little girl, I art attempting to read, and I canst not do that if thou standest in my way! I could trip and harm my book."

Freyja jumped up, catching Thoth's arm, grabbing for the book. "I want to read!"

"No! It's very delicate."

"Tooth, what does delikate mean?"

"It means you cannot touch it!"

"Why?"

Thoth huffed impatiently. "You shall break it."

Freyja wrinkled her nose and ran to grab Frey's hand. "I don't like Tooth."

"Mine name is not Tooth! Mother, please make her cease using that absurd mutation of my name!"

Gaea laughed. "I think it's cute."

Thoth turned pleading eyes to Atum.

The present-day Atum laughed. "She was a little spitfire, wasn't she? Only she played the passive aggressive really well."

Thoth smiled wryly. "True enough... though there was nothing passive about her attempting to flood the library."

It was Frey's turn to laugh. "I'd forgotten about that."

Thoth huffed. "I certainly hath not."

Atum in the memory swung Freyja onto his shoulders. Atum in the present sighed. "I think it's time we left."

Frey couldn't resist a sarcastic "No, really?". Atum spared him a passing glare before he closed his eyes and the three of them emerged from the memories. Gaea was sitting by them, and relief came over her face. She embraced Atum and Frey.

"Did you see what you wanted to see?"

Frey nodded, head hanging. "I saw too much."

Gaea put a hand on his shoulder in sympathy. "Do you understand now?"

"Yes... but I can't guarantee anything with Freyja. I'm sorry, Atum." Frey found he really was.

Atum nodded stiffly. "As long as you don't try to kill me again."

"I won't." Frey paused. "So... where will you go now?"

"I will remain here until I know if Freyja wishes to see me."

Frey nodded. "I'll return to Asgard, tell her the whole story. Unless..." he looked at Gaea. "Perhaps she would take it better coming from you?"

Gaea hesitated. "I would need permission from Odin."

Frey shook his head. "Accompany me. I will say I invited you."

Gaea paused. "It might be better if I waited until Freyja's new child is born. He cannot deny my right to greet my grandchild."

"What are you talking about?" Arum frowned. "Odin banished you?"

"It is a personal matter."

Atum's brow furrowed in thought. "Why do I have a feeling this somehow involves Th-"

"Yes, you're right, but no-one knows. So there is no need to say anything."

Frey frowned. "What?"

Gaea shook her head. "Nothing. You should get back to Asgard now."

He sighed. More secrets. "Alright. I'll see you soon though?"

Gaea nodded, smiling warmly. "Go on."

Frey nodded. He took a deep breath. Now, how to tell Freyja? He mulled over several ideas as he travelled home. They all sounded wrong. He sighed. He supposed that he was just going to have to tell her the only way he could. By blunt truth. He swallowed. When he arrived at Asgard, he immediately made his way to Freyja's house. Sigyn was in the yard, tending to some flowers.

Sigyn... his heart sank. Should he have told Atum about her? But no... It could only make things worse. He forced a smile on his face as he stepped forward to greet his niece.

She beamed at him. "Uncle Frey!"

"Sigyn. Is your mother inside?"

Sigyn nodded. "She's helping Syn decide on wedding details."

A ripple of shock went through Frey. "Syn is getting married?" He'd known of her pregnancy, but not this.

"Yes. She's pregnant, too. And... I don't want to talk about all that. I'm sure Mor can tell you." Sigyn pulled a weed and bit her lip. "Uncle, can I ask a question?"

Frey crouched next to her. "Of course."

"People say that you sleep with Mother. Is it true? I won't be mad if it is, I just want to know."

His eyes widened. "Of course it isn't true! Who on earth spouted such nonsense?"

"A lot of people. I've heard it around." Sigyn stared him in the eye. "It's not true?"

"No. Your mother is my sister, and that's all she will ever be."

"Then you don't want to sleep with her either?"

"No. And I don't want to hear you speak of it again, alright? It would only upset your mother."

Sigyn nodded, and wrapped her arms around her. "I'm glad. Mother needs somebody who isn't after her body all the time."

Frey nodded gravely at her words. He began to walk inside, but turned back. "Sigyn, why don't you go visit Loki?" I am not having this discussion with her potentially in earshot. I'll need to get rid of Syn too...

Sigyn grinned, abandoning her gardening and darting off quickly. Frey watched her go. At least someone is happy. He took a deep breath as he walked into the house. "Freyja?"

No response.

"Freyja?"

"Frey?" Freyja appeared at the top of the stairs. "It's good to see you but be quiet. Syn has just gotten to sleep."

"Good." he replied in a low voice. "Could you come down here? We need to talk."

She came down, looking curious. "About what?"

He led her into the parlour, closing the door softly behind them. He swallowed as they sat on the sofa. Freyja looked puzzled. Frey thought he might be sick. "Freyja, I... spoke with Atum."

Freyja went white, though she tried to hide her obvious distress. "So?"

"He told me what he did."

Freyja leapt to her feet, eyes blazing. "He's bragging about it now?!"

"No! Freyja, it's not what you think. It wasn't his fault."

"EXCUSE ME?"

Frey shrank back from his sister. "Please, just listen. It was Chthon. He threatened to destroy a whole planet if Atum didn't..."

"Rubbish! He's told you this just to turn you against me! As if he hasn't done me enough harm." Freyja turned her face away. "I don't have to listen to this. Get out."

"Freyja-"

"Leave."

"No. I don't blame you for being furious and not wanting to listen-"

"I told you to leave."

"Freyja, Mother believes him."

Freyja barked out a laugh. "She'd believe anything he said!"

"Really? I know she shut him out for all these years until a day or so ago."

Freyja hesitated, and sank back down. "I want to believe that he didn't want to, Frey. But how can I?"

"Take my word. I know you trust me. I've seen his memories, Freyja. He's ashamed of what he was forced to do and afraid to face you."

"Memories can be falsified."

"But grief that strong can't. Freyja, he's just like you were at the beginning."

He could see her wavering. She scowled. "No. If it were true, why would he not have told me before now?"

"Shame. And the same reason you wouldn't tell me who it was. I tried to kill him and Demogorge emerged."

Freyja whitened. "Are you hurt?"

"No. Mother stopped me before blood was shed." Frey took her hands in his. "I know that it's hard. But please, please believe it. Atum didn't want to hurt you."

Freyja took a deep breath. "He... he was crying. And he didn't want me to look at him."

"And doesn't that tell you something?"

"If that was the truth, why didn't he tell me? Why would he let me suffer all these years?"

"Maybe he thought you better off without him. Have you considered that? He hates himself, Freyja."

"Good." Her eyes filled with tears. "Because I hate him, too."

Frey sighed. "Wouldn't it help, though, to at least try and speak to him?"

Freyja shook her head. "No."

"But-"

"I will not waste my time on a coward who could not stand up to Chthon, and then lacked the nerve to tell me the truth."

Frey sighed and nodded. "Alright. I won't pressure you."

Freyja wiped her eyes. "Is that the only reason you came here?"

"Yes. I'm still supposed to be on my rotation. Odin will be furious when he finds out I left my post."

Freyja snorted. "He's always ranting about something. I don't let it bother me."

Frey smiled as he stood, but it was a wry smile. "I could be arrested for desertion."

She scoffed. "You're one of his most experienced warriors. He won't do that."

"Are you going to be alright?"

Freyja looked away. "As long as Atum stays away from me, yes."

"Freyja... He won't come and apologise unless you say you want to see him."

"I don't!" Freyja wrapped her arms around herself. "I can't forgive him, Frey. I'm not that strong."

"I know not now, but maybe someday?"

"No."

Frey nodded slowly. "I'll tell him that, then."

"Why can't you just stay away from him?!"

Frey didn't respond to that. He couldn't. So he just walked away. Behind him, he heard Freyja collapse and begin to weep. He paused, wanting to go back to her. He rubbed his temples and turned back.

"Freyja," he said, trying to sound gentle. "I'm sorry."

She was sitting with her head bowed to her knees. She didn't respond at first. He sat down and put an arm around her. "I'm sorry."

She leaned her weight on him and began sobbing harder than he'd ever heard. He stroked her hair, rocking her.

"I wanted to know why, I hoped for so long that it wasn't him... After all these years? No, I can't forgive him. I don't want to forgive him."

Frey nodded, just letting her she could do was weep.

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Atum breathed deeply. It had been nearly a week since he had told Gaea the truth of what had happened fourteen years ago. While the weight was still on his shoulders, having her standing by his side and Sekhmet on his other side made the weight a little easier to bear, at least for the moment. For now, he was enjoying spending time in the city he had founded.

He looked out over his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, his former lovers and their families, and he smiled. He turned to his daughter.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded. They walked out onto the balcony, side-by side, Atum holding onto the crook and flail that signified leadership among the Heliopolitans. There was silence below as everybody waited. They, of course, knew what was happened, but a formal ceremony was needed nonetheless.

"Citizens of Heliopolis," he said, his voice magically enhanced. "As you all know, my fight with the demon Chthon has taken me from the city too often and for too long. I have shirked my duties, and for that I can only ask pardon."

There was a ripple of murmuring from the gathered crowds below. Atum waited for this to subside before continuing. "In my absence, the city has flourished, and for that I am thankful. I have come to realise that my presence on the throne is not necessary for this realm to thrive. And so I have made the decision to abdicate my throne to another of my family."

He glanced at Sekmet. She wore her armour, and a heavy black wig and sweeping kohl lines from either side of her eyes. Her expression was stoic, but he could see her hands trembling.

"In front of you all now, I hand the ruling of Heliopolis to my daughter, Sekhmet, because she is the bravest, the wisest, and the truest being I have ever known."

There was a respectful silence as he handed her the crook and flail. He could see that her eyes were shining. Once the ceremonial instruments were in her hands, they turned back to view the crowd. Thoth stepped forward.

"What say ye, citizens of Heliopolis? Do ye accept thy new ruler?"

A resounding cheer went up.

Sekhmet blew out a shaky breath. As the crowd quieted, she stepped forward. "My fellow citizens, I am deeply honoured by your support in my role. I intend to continue the work of my father in making Heliopolis a place of beauty and peace. I am humbled by this responsibility, and I vow to use every strength I have to do thee justice."

Atum smiled proudly at his daughter and his people as, almost collectively, they knelt before her.

Sekhmet swallowed. "N-no. I am your ruler, but I am still a fellow citizen. Do not bow to me." She dropped to her knees and lowered her head. "We are one people."

Atum smiled proudly at his daughter, and knelt as well. Thoth and Gaea joined him. Sekhmet looked somewhat got back to her feet, and the crowd rose with her, and cheered again. Gaea stepped in close to Atum.

"You made a wise choice here."

"I did. Now I can fully concentrate on killing Chthon."

"After you have had a chance to let your own wounds heal."

"I'm not hurt."

"I didn't mean physical wounds."

Atum glanced at her. "You heard what Frey had to say. Freyja wants nothing to do with me, and I can't blame her."

"That doesn't mean you need to isolate yourself again."

He shivered. "After so long, I'm not sure I know how to do anything else."

Gaea put a hand on his shoulder. "At least stay until Sekhmet is settled."

He nodded. "Of course. I had planned to anyway."

"Good. I will stay as well."

A smile transformed Atum's face. It was good to be with his mother again.

"Brother, art thou smiling?" Thoth looked shocked. "Impossible!"

He swatted at Thoth, his heart feeling lighter than it had in over a decade. It was good to be home.

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Freyja stared at the jeweled bracelet on her dresser. She could tell him everything she thought about him. She could demand to see him, to hear the truth from his lips. But no. She wouldn't contact him. What if it's all a lie?

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Chthon smiled as his scouts told him the news of the universe beyond his dimension. Atum had reconciled with Gaea, which should mean his son's bloodthirsty need to eliminate him would end. He had come up with a plan to reconcile the two, but it seemed like that was no longer needed. Ah, well. A few minor adjustments and he could still cause some mighty destruction. He chuckled darkly to himself at the thought. So much fun to be had...

He handed a dark scroll to one of his minions. "Take this to earth. Reveal it when the princes of Asgard arrive."

The creature chittered excitedly before disappearing in a swirl of dark energy.

Chthon leaned back, grinning to himself. "Not long now." He began thinking of how he could best use the scroll to his advantage, provided the correct user found it. The possibilities were endless... Access to Asgard would be ideal, of course. He wanted to see if his son had a daughter there that he didn't know about. That could have very promising possibilities...

He leaned back, and conjured an image of Sigyn Freyjadottir. She was the right age, and from what he had heard, she had powers that could be attributed to being the Godslayer's daughter.

"Set!"

"Yessss, Massster?"

"I need you to distract Atum for a while."

The serpent hissed. "For how long? And may I asssk why?"

"Take him away from the nine realms again until I say otherwise. That's all you need to know."

Set inclined all his heads, knowing better than to question Chthon when he was in that mood. He slithered away quietly. He couldn't stop a shiver from going down his long spine. Whatever this is, it will end with weeping.

The End

AN: Continued in my story 'Shadows and Regrets'. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and followed!