I hope the last chapter wasn't too much of a shock! Please bear with me, I think you'll like where this story is going. :)

Chapter Seventeen

I kicked against the bars of the cell hard with my boot, making the metal structure shake with the force of the impact although I knew it wouldn't budge no mater how many times I kicked it, I fell back against the hard bed behind me and tried to make sense of the last four hours.

Catherine had left me.

My heart felt like it was bleeding and my mind was still rushing through thoughts faster than I could keep up with. I just knew I needed to explain to her what had happened. I wondered even if I did have the chance to talk to her, if my words would actually make any difference. I had still told Nick about us, despite her asking me to keep it secret, and without mentioning it to her, and then attacked Nick in front of the whole team.

Maybe I was just like my mother.

Maybe violence was my natural reaction to situations I couldn't deal with.

I felt tears spring to my eyes and I ran my hands through my hair, letting out a slow breath as I tried to calm myself.

The police officer managing the cells at the police department, where I was now being held, had taken my CSI vest, my gun, my ID and my phone and I felt trapped, isolated and vulnerable - I knew in the cells either side of me were people I had played a part in putting away and that scared me. I was in here until Nick decided if he wanted to press charges against me, I wouldn't blame him if he did, despite the fact I was still livid with him.

I knew I had almost definitely lost my job, and I had lost Catherine, I couldn't give a damn about anything that happened to me now.

I was waiting for someone to interview me about Nick's assault and no doubt ask questions about Catherine and I. Having been in the cell for over three hours I felt like the walls were closing in on me; I tried to take my mind off of the situation but I had nothing to think about. Everything had been so perfect, if only I had been honest with Catherine and told her when I had spoken to Nick or I could have not told him at all - none of this would have happened.

I rose to my feet, pacing the small concrete floor in the hope I would find some clarity in the motion. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have put myself in a situation where it was so easy to lose everything?

My fist collided with the wall and I heard my knuckles crack against the thick concrete. Blood poured from my hand but I didn't feel anything as I stared down at the blood as it dripped from my hand to the floor.

I felt like the world had come to an end.

"Sara Sidle."

I rose to my feet as the police officer I called my name, he was stood at the cell entrance, unlocking the door. I had worked with him for two years, since he started working in PD, having moved from admin work, but he acted like we had never spoken. I saw Ecklie stood beside him and knew instantly that thiis wasn't going to be a fair game.

Ecklie caught sight of the dried blood across my hand as I exited the cell but said nothing about it, I knew by law that he was meant to have a doctor assess my injuries, it was his duty of care, but he didn't give a shit and neither did I. I followed him down the corridor I had walked every day as a CSI and to one of the interview rooms, trying to ignore the glances from colleagues who recognized me and knew what had happened at the lab. I was escorted by two officers but I hadn't been re-cuffed which I was thankful for although I still had marks from the cuffs they had placed on me when I had been arrested.

"Interview room three, 5:55am, Conrad Ecklie interviewing Miss Sara Sidle." Ecklie clicked 'record' on his tape recorder and placed it down beside us both as we sat either side of the plastic blue table. "Do you know why you've been arrested, Sara?"

I looked at him, a satisfied smile was plastered across his lips. I knew he'd been trying to get Grissom to fire me for a while and I felt like I'd fallen right into his net. "I physically assaulted Nick Stokes."

"Why did you assault Mr Stokes?"

"Because he's a lying bastard." I replied, unable to contain my emotion at Ecklie's question - Exactly what he wanted.

"What did he lie about?"

"You know exactly what, Conrad, so how about we cut the bullshit?" I asked.

"Unless you want to end up behind bars with all the people you've spent the last three years locking away, Sara, I suggest you talk."

I glared at him but I knew he was right. "I told Nick in confidence that I was having a relationship with Catherine Willows and he relayed this information to Gil Grissom, who reminded me of office policy and asked me to end my relationship with Catherine."

"How long had you and Catherine Willows been involved in a relationship?" He moved back against his chair, almost like he was getting himself ready to hear a long, detailed story of my private life.

"A few weeks, maybe a month." I kept it as short as I could, not wanting to indulge the bastard.

"And was this relationship a sexual one?"

"I really don't see what this has to do with-"

"Just answer the question, Sidle."

"Yes, it was."

"And where is Catherine now?"

"I don't know," I looked over a the one-sided glass, wishing that Catherine was on the other side. "I just hope she knows I'm sorry."

"That's very touching." Ecklie smirked.

I changed the subject, hoping to get this conversation out of the way as quickly as possible. "So is Nick pressing charges or not?" I asked.

"He's not, despite the fact he's currently in hospital having an x-ray of his jaw to see whether or not it's been broken."

"So why am I here?"

"I'm firing you. This is your exit interview," he explained, "your belongings from your locker have been placed into a bag. Obviously your cell-phone, your car, your gun and your vest belong to the department so you won't be getting those back and you won't be receiving any pay from the last month, as you've been..." he trailed off, a larger smile across his face, "more involved in the job as we had required."

I wanted to cry but I wouldn't let that happen in front of him. Everything I had worked for for the last three years was gone, and I had lost the one person I had truly cared about. "What will happen to Catherine?"

"She'll have a disciplinary but she'll stay in the team."

I felt relieved that Catherine would at least keep her job. "Can I go now?"

"Sign this." Ecklie pushed a piece of paper and a pen across the table towards me. "It confirms the termination of your contract with CSI."

With my right hand out of action I lifted the pen with my left hand and shakily signed my name at the bottom of the paper. I rose to my feet and left the room before he could offer a sarcastic goodbye. One of the police officers that had escorted me from the cell to the interview room passed me a plastic bag of my belongings and I silently left the building and headed out into cold morning air.

I needed to see Catherine.