I cannot believe it's been so long since I updated this; I did actually write the most of the chapter out last week but then it didn't save the document! I think we're good this time though, so I hope you enjoy reading. :)

Chapter Twenty

Butterflies danced nervously inside my stomach as I quickly pulled off my work clothes and slipped into a pair of denim jeans, a black three-quarter-length cotton shirt and brown leather boots. I pulled a tan leather belt through the denim belt loops of my jeans to stop them sliding down my hips, as they were now two sizes too big for me, before heading out of my apartment and down the metal side steps alongside the outside of the diner building.

The night sky was clear and I glanced up at the stars, appreciating the serenity of the night as I waited for Greg to arrive. Nighttime here was so different from Vegas, no speeding cars or neon lights, just the peacefulness that night should bring; the quietness had driven me mad when I had first arrived at Winslow but now I felt quite used to it.

"Hey." Greg waved from across the street, crossing over the quiet road to meet me.

"Hi Greg." I smiled as he placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Shall we drink?" He asked.

I nodded my approval of his idea and we slowly wandered over to the bar down the street. "How was the rest of your day?"

"Busy!" He paused for a second. "Catherine liked her coffee."

My heart leapt at such a little thing. "You didn't tell her I made it, did you?" I couldn't help but be concerned that he had told Catherine I was here.

"No, don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Greg assured me as we reached the entrance to the bar and he pushed open the wooden door to let me in first.

A dozen men sat in groups of two or three around the dimly lit room; the decor of the room was old but brought a kind of traditional ambiance. I recognized a lot of the men from when they'd come into the diner but knew none of them by name and no one to recognize me.

I'd drunk here a few times but mostly chose to drink on my own in my apartment - I had found lately that my drinking had usually resulted in crying, and that wasn't something I wanted to share with the town's locals.

"Two beers, please." Greg ordered at the bar and two bottles of beer were placed on the oak counter top.

I took my beer from Greg and we headed over to the nearest but quietest area of the bar. I took one of the wooden chairs and placed my beer on the table. My heart was beating rapidly at the situation, I had so many questions spinning around in my head that I wanted to ask all at once but Greg started speaking before I could decide what to say.

"The last few months since you left have been really tough for everyone, Sara. Nick was denied his CSI Level 3 promotion after Grissom was told Ecklie had fired you, I honestly don't think Grissom or Nick meant for things to happen like they did, the team hasn't been the same since you left," Greg took a glug of his beer, "Catherine has had a pretty tough time, she took three weeks off of work once she heard you'd left and when she came back to the lab it was like a light had gone out inside her. She asked me a few times where you'd gone or if I'd heard anything from you, but I didn't know how to get in contact else I would have I swear." Greg's sounded sincere.

My heart ached that it sounded as though my leaving had badly affected Catherine. "It's okay, Greg, I didn't want anyone to find me, there wasn't any way for you to have contacted me." I assured him but fell silent again in the hope he would continue.

"When Ecklie offered two CSIs the opportunity to head across Arizona and check up on some local PDs no one thought Catherine would be interested, it's meant she's had to leave Lindsey with Nancy for eight weeks straight, but she jumped at the chance, so here we are." Greg shrugged. We shared a few minutes silence where we both sipped our drinks, before Greg cleared his throat, "Why did you leave, Sara?"

I paused, I had gone over my reasoning so many times in my head but had never spoken it aloud - who would I have said it to? "I hid the truth from Catherine, I lashed out at Nick, I lost my job, I lost Catherine. What did I have to stay for?"

"Things might have worked out if you'd given them a chance, rather than running away."

"If I'd stayed I would have only made things worse for everyone, Greggo." I felt bad that I had left Vegas without saying goodbye to him. We'd been such good friends, I hoped we still were. "I was on the verge of self-destruct and I needed the space to breathe and understand-"

"All you've done is get yourself a job waitressing and made yourself ill." Greg sounded hurt. "You're so thin, Sara, I've never seen you like this before. How can you say you made the right decision?"

"You don't understand what I was going through, Greg." I snapped, not wanting to go into the details of seeing my parents' violence in myself and the conversation I had had with Nancy when she had told me to leave Vegas, although I instantly felt regret over my sharpness with him and softened my tone, reaching my hand out across the table and taking his hand, "Please don't be angry. I've done a lot of thinking, things are a lot clearer now."

"Then why don't you come back to Vegas?"

"What good would that do?" I asked.

"I could take care of you, you need a friend, Sara." He reached out and took my hand.

"Since everything happened with Catherine," I felt my voice waver slightly as though the human contact of our held hands was allowing my emotions to break through, "I've felt like I've died inside. I can't go back to Vegas and watch her carry on like normal when I can't cope without her."

"We need to tell her you're here."

"I can't bear it if she doesn't want to see me, Greg, please don't make me go through that." I felt tears slide down my face but I made no effort to wipe them away.

"And what if she leaves, never knowing you were here? What if she wants to see you?"

"I don't know if I can face it if she doesn't want to see me."

"Hey, Sar," He shushed, reaching out across the table to gently wipe the tears from my cheeks. "We're here for a couple more days. How about you sleep on it and let me know tomorrow morning?" he asked.

I paused for a few moments. I knew I couldn't run away from this, I needed to make a decision. "I'll sleep on it." I promised.

Greg grinned at me and I couldn't help but return his smile.

Greg and I spent the next few hours chatting about past cases from the lab, he told me all about a girl he was seeing and I told him more about the life I had been living in Winslow for the last four months. We shared a few more beers than I had anticipated and by midnight I had a laughed more that evening than I could remember having done so in a long while.

Greg walked me back to my apartment above the diner and gave me a tight hug before saying good night and heading back to his hotel. My evening with him had helped settle a lot of my thoughts and as I stripped off to get into bed, I felt my stomach twinge with butterflies at the idea that I could see Catherine tomorrow and maybe she would want to see me too.

I let my imagination run away with the idea that she would hold me in her arms and closed my eyes as I remembered the feeling of her lips on mine. I ached for her with every cell in my body. I still loved her more than I could have ever imagined loving anyone.

But what would happen if she refused to see me? I wasn't sure a life without Catherine was a life worth living, I had barely made it through the last four months - my thinning frame and unbearable insomnia were proof of that. I wondered if I could bear to know she had left Winslow without ever knowing we had only been a few blocks away from each other.

What if her knowing I was here only caused her more heartache? Hadn't I put her through enough already?

Maybe it was time to let her go.