AN: Alright here's another chapter real quick. I'd also like to take a minute to promote a forum that I'm in currently, ( www. fanfiction forum/Pro-bending-Circuit/164505/) and we're looking for people to fill some positions! If you want to get involved in some short writing and get some feedback, this is a good place for you to start. Thanks!
Zuko has allowed me to seek comfort with Suki and Yue for the rest of the day while he brainstorms. I don't know why he insists on seeking something he will not find.
I have no time to mourn Sokka's unfortunate fate (and unfortunate it is from tales the servants tell, but I didn't need their hearsay to know) because I have a lead to follow up on.
I mentioned the young man from the Earth Kingdom, Jet, to Suki, and she seemed reluctant to associate with him. She admitted that he was in the resistance movement but the details were only vague blurs. Either she didn't want to talk about him or didn't know his rank. I'm going with a little bit of both.
Suki was not in a position that allowed her to find out specifics on Jet (which, frankly, is a stupid name) so naturally it was up to me. Really, I like to be the hero of my own story. It just so happens that being the Fire Lord's special pet allows me more freedom than a regular harem girl, as long as I remember my humility.
I decide the best place to start is the kitchens. This time I ask some other servants for guidance before becoming too lost in the corridors. I was under the guise of bringing a delightful snack for my great and fearsome Lord and idle chat with some scullery maids yielded all that I needed for now.
The Earth Kingdom servants were given to Zuko, who naturally let his darling little sister pick and choose who she liked the look of for her own personal use. A moderately handsome guy like Jet was in the pick because otherwise that would make everything else too easy. Of course.
I know I can't just go waltzing into the princess's quarters and find that stupid guy. I must retreat and plan a way in or some way to see him.
"You wouldn't happen to know how I could see him, do you?"
The question is hardly past my lips before the maids giggle and shoot knowing glances at each other. I freeze momentarily, fear that I've been found out by spies creating a heavy stone in my stomach.
"For a girl so smitten I could pass along word you'd like to meet with him," one said slyly. My eyes nearly pop out of my head and I try to make the best of it. My embarrassed color only adds to the illusion for them.
"Oh, a forbidden romantic meeting in the moonlight," the other sighed, wistful.
"Yeah, could you ask?" I try not to trip over my own tongue. At least it's not unbelievable that we could be romantic with one another to these women.
"Come back tomorrow and maybe we'll have an answer. But don't get your hopes up," the first one warned. "The princess is very...invested in her underlings."
I nod, wondering this could mean for Sokka. Maybe Jet would've even seen him. This makes me all the more urgent to see this man from the Earth Kingdom.
I leave with a plate of cool fruits and, not wanting to make a liar of myself, take them to Zuko's rooms.
Predictably he's not in the bedroom, but he's not in his adjoining office either. I set the plate on his desk anyway and munch a couple of grapes before I take my leave.
Nobody questions where I've been when I slip back amount the other women. Suki knows, or guesses, and Yue doesn't want to know. It's safer that way.
They are playing a lazy game of pai sho, a game of strategy that Sokka would be brilliant at. Anxiety threatens to make my hands shake but I fold them in my lap as I sit with my friends.
"I've never been a good strategist," I admit when Yue begs me to take her place. Even I can tell she's been cornered, but at least she wins against Suki sometimes. Unlike me, who couldn't win to save her life.
Suki shoots a glance at our guards but they're too busy looking at something else to notice. She continues to knock out Yue's pieces methodically and ruthlessly, reminding me of a polar cat toying with it's prey.
"I hope you didn't find him," she mutters.
At first I thought she was talking about Zuko, but then I recall my earlier mission.
"I didn't hear much good about him before I came here. I'm sure his reputation hasn't changed." Her voice is hard with warning but her posture hasn't changed from its relaxed slump over the game board.
"What have you heard?" I focus my eyes on their game, pretending to study their movements. I want to know what Jet's about before I meet with him. Suki ponders over her next piece before she speaks again.
"Him and his crew blew up a dam and drowned a whole Fire Nation village. He's crazy," she explained, as if I could've missed her point.
"An extremist. Not like we don't have plenty of those already." I'm not defending his actions, but his type is common in this constant state of oppression. You could even say that I'm an extremist, with my blind hatred towards the Pheonix King.
"He's different somehow...doesn't seem so crazy at first, I guess." I watched Suki shake her head as she sprung one of Yue's poorly laid traps. Yue groaned.
"I'll be careful, I just want to know if he's seen my brother." Not a lie, but not the whole truth either. I'm not entirely sure she buys it.
It's only been a couple hours since I set that plate of fruit on Zuko's desk when I'm summoned to him.
"I was going to speak with my father about your brother but...something came up."
I frown and cross my arms. Is this why he brought me here, to make excuses for something he couldn't follow through on? No, Zuko looks more troubled than that. In fact, he looks down right uncomfortable. There's a sinking feeling in my stomach that I can't rationalize. I tighten my crossed arms to my cheat, suddenly very afraid of what will come out of Zuko's mouth.
"There's been riots in the mines. An uprising of the captives. Your father," he pauses, and it feels like I'm on the edge of a precise just waiting to fall. "Your father started it all. He's escaped for now..."
The unsaid words drift in my mind like a raft lost at sea: it's only a matter of time before he's caught and killed.
"Don't underestimate him." I meant to sound confident and brave, but my voice is a strangled whisper. I hear it's patheticness and in the back of my mind, it surprises me. I was not raised to be a sentimental girl who cries at the burdens she must bear. I'm a warrior, a spy. I was raised to be the hope of the future, but the life of the palace has made me soft and weak.
No, this boy is the root of it. He lured me into complacency with his cruel past and his awkward friendship. I have to separate myself from the lie and continue on, even if my comrades fall.
"They're not. An extensive search is underway. My sister is at the head of it. She's taken over half of the palace guards to command."
Half the guards? This sounds like a good opportunity as any to complete my mission, but I feel it is essential to have this lordling on my side. No, it's not because I am wont to end our contact. I'm just waiting for the right moment.
"I see." I have nothing else to say, but he's looking at me like I should say something. Maybe he expects me to breakdown again, like I did about Sokka, but I'm all cried out for the present. "I had already assumed he was dead," I admit. I only say it aloud to placate him, and I guess it works because he looks away.
"Your life must be hard, losing people you love," he says awkwardly. "But the only person capable of love in my family is my uncle, and he's banished on threat of execution."
I can sympathize with being surrounded by you enemies, and I try to imagine growing up in this loveless place. It makes my skin crawl. I realize he isn't trying to one up me on which of our lives is worse, he's just trying to sympathize too. In his own awkward way.
"I think we're more alike than either of us imagined," I say in hushed tones, my hand on his arm in a gesture of comfort. This whole thing is outrageous, because who could be more different? A watertribe and a fire nation, opposites on the elemental wheel. Then again, Tui and La were opposites. Or so I've heard.
"Yeah," he says, and he draws so near that I can feel his breath mix with mine. There's no time to rationalize, to plan out what I should or should not do in this situation.
Everything in my life has been calculated meticulously by others so I have learned to think likewise. I am more prone to letting emotions guide me, but this dizzy feeling in my head isn't emotion. It's instinct. The instinct of an eighteen year old woman no less.
So here we are, two royaly messed up young adults who feel like we're alone in the world and trying not to feel so lonely. I don't think of this in the moment, but it will all come to me later.
"Zuko I-" I want to kiss you but I don't want to get too emotionally attached? I'm an assassin sent to kill your father? I wish I could help you but I can't? There are so many things I would say but can't. He starts to pull away and this is it, I can hear my brain shouting. Last chance, all aboard the SS Zuko! I want to, I want to, I want to! But I wait too long and the moment has passed.
"I'm sorry." He turns away from me and I'm surprised that it hurts a little. "I was out of line."
I can't say anything, the words are too jumbled in my head and it confuses my tongue. He bids me to leave and I walk stiffly, mechanically. Suki and Yue both think the worst but I assure them he hasn't laid a hand on me without my consent. I can't bring myself to tell Suki without shame, so I whisper to Yue that night when we're all bedded down for the night.
"I've never had time for boys, and there weren't any close enough to my age back at home. Well except for Sokka, but he doesn't count. Most of them were lost in raids." Yue nods knowingly.
"I was married to an arrogant young man but he died when the Fire Nation invaded. I think I'm qualified to give advice." Her smile is thin and ironic. I suddenly feel very bad for bringing it up. I try to backtrack but she wants me to continue.
"I just don't know what to do. I'm attracted to him and it's alarming." I stuff my face into my pillow and hope I'll just suffocate to death.
"If there's one thing I know about relationships, it's that the heart will want what it wants. You can't reason with it. You can only give in or ignore it, and maybe it will pass." Yue shrugs, but just now she seems like the wisest sage to me. It's like I've been diagnosed with a serious disease and she's told me it's going to kill me someday, but it might not be that bad.
"That sounds terrible," I mumble around my pillow. It really, really does. It limits my options but alternatively, makes them more clear. If I want to survive this terrible sickness, I have to get Zuko on the side of the good guys. I knew that it would be optimal to do so before, but now it's more of a necessity.
A girl I've never spoken to tapped my shoulder and brought me from my self pity. I'm confused why she has come to me, but I see a tiny slip of paper pass from her hand to my pillow. I want to ask her more but she's leaving before I can think of what to say without giving too much away.
Instead, I unroll it and at first it's just gibberish, but then I realize it's written in code. Of course, just plainly writing treason would get a lot of people killed. But after I decode it, it still has me wondering.
Meet me at midnight where the littlest dragon sleeps.
If this message can be trusted, and it means what I think it does, I'm supposed to meet his person in Azula's sleeping chamber. Talk about walking into the dragon viper's den. But if my assumptions were correct, this was a note from Jet and he was using the princess's absence to our advantage. Or it was a trap.
On one hand, I could satisfy my curiosity about Jet and maybe form and alliance with him and see if he knows anything about Sokka. Or I could jeopardize the whole mission and get killed in the process. Zuko had told me his dear sister was gone for the time being, but what if she came back early? What if he'd been fed false information to catch spies? But in order for that, they'd have to suspect me or someone close to him. Besides, the note was written in our code. I had a good feeling this was the right thing to do and it was drawing close to midnight.
With the help of Suki's hair pins, I am free to wander the palace. There are no guards at our door since I've been throughly settled and there are even less than usual because of the man hunt for my father.
By now I've formed a mental map of the corridors in my mind. It's not hard to get to Azula's quarters, since I've made sure to stay away from here. My feet make soft wet sounds as my feet touch against the cold stone floor and I hesitate in a deep shadow.
"I knew you'd think it was a trap," a rough voice whispers from another shadow, maybe across the hall. I try not to jump or gasp, but somehow he can see me react and he chuckled softly. I hear him step among the shadows to my hiding place until he's beside me. My body is tense, but he is lax as a predatory cat. In this way, he reminds me of the princess.
"How did you-"
"Ah ah, not here. Follow me."
I don't have much of a choice since he takes my hand and is pulling me along in no time. Already I am annoyed. Who does this guy think he is, calling the shots around here? I've been here way longer, but he already knows where he's going. Or pretends very well that he does. We slip onto one of the open aired rooms and I'm immediately dazzled by the moon. It's been so long since I've been outside at night, but Jet doesn't give me a moment to savor it. He jerks me to a flat stone block that serves as a bench and plops right down. I follow suit.
"Go ahead and ask your questions, but make it quick." Another prickle of anger touches my stomach but I swallow it.
"How did you know I was like you?" It's best to use discretion, even if he thinks we're safe.
"Everyone knows you, Katara of the South," he snorts as if that's obvious. "You're the most important person in the world right now. You're like the Avatar, except you can't bend. Right?" He squints at me suspiciously.
"Not that I know." Honestly I've never tried. The thought that everyone in the organization knows the fate of the world rests with me is...unnerving.
"Well anyway, I've done quite a few missions that have led us both to this place. Some didn't end so great."
"I'm sorry," I reply, and he looks genuinely touched for a split second.
"Forget it. Anything else?"
"My brother, have you seen him?" I feel bad because it should've been the first question I asked. He shrugs and unless I'm mistaken, seems quite uncomfortable.
"Yeah, but you don't want to know about him. He's doing fine. That's all you wanna know, trust me." I want to know more but his words are too ominous, too spine tingling to question.
"Why are you here?"
He was about to answer when there was the shuffle and clank of an armored guard approaching our door.
"Kiss me," he demands. Of course I say,
"What? No! I don't even know you!" In a hissing whisper. He's approaching and...stops. Does he hear us?
"Just do it," he hisses back, and invades my personal space entirely. His hands are all over me and it's so overwhelming that I don't resist when he presses his lips forcefully to mine. The guard opens our door and we spring apart like, well, like two kids caught trying to make out in peace. Luckily it's one of the lax guards and he only chuckles, wishes us a good night and winks before closing the door. My heart is hammering still when his foot steps are long gone.
I have to admit that it was the best plan for such short notice, but still. My first kiss was with this smirking jerk who was now sitting an appropriate distance from me.
"You could've told me the plan," I mutter, hoping my blushing doesn't show in the shadows.
"No time," he smirks, and I want punch it off his face. "But in all seriousness, we should part ways for now. I'll let you know when we can meet again."
At least he has the decency to ask if I can find my way back to where I sleep before ditching me. That guy moves like a moon shadow and it's scary.
When I get back everyone else is long asleep. I am grateful to plop among my own pillows and dream. This time, I replay the kiss with Jet in my sleep. Only instead of Jet's lips pressed against mine, they're Zuko's.