Chapter Six
What the hell was wrong with me?
Leaving while I still had a chance to get back before he even knew I left was one thing. Purposefully waiting for him to get home and not doing everything I could to immediately get back home was even worse.
We got there, and Carlisle was immediately there in the garage doorway. Obviously confused as Alice pulled me from the car. Taking my hand as I followed her a little easier back into the familiar house. Not that she left any option.
I attempted to remove my hand from hers, but it wouldn't budge. Not painfully, like it would have been with Jack, but just impossible to get my hand free.
"There." I muttered, "Now that you're here, I'll walk back." She didn't reply to that, "Alice?" I had to get back. Even if I was a little late in returning, I could still swing it just enough so he wouldn't suspect they had anything to do with why I was gone.
"I couldn't." Was all she said to Carlisle as we passed him into the house. I looked up at him as we passed, confused but having little choice in how this all played out now.
Was I in the middle of being kidnapped?
"Hey, she's back." Emmett seemed pleased at that, but Edward stood up.
"Alice?" He questioned her, glancing to me.
"First things first." Alice muttered, "We need to call the police-"
"No." I immediately stole my hand from hers, "You never said anything about the stupid cops. I won't do it."
"Easy." Esme entered the room, "What's going on?"
"Okay." Alice huffed, "That can wait a few hours if you want, but definitely by morning."
"Alice, I have to go back." I stressed quietly.
"If you leave here, I'm going right along with you." She crossed her arms. That was highly frustrating.
"You don't know what you're doing." I replied sharply, "Just.. Trust me on this, okay? You don't want anything to do with him."
"And why is that?"
I shut up. I saw her angle now. I saw what was going on.
I wasn't brave enough to make a run for it, and I doubted I'd get very far without her following me anyway. She knew that. She was trying to put herself between Jack and me, but she didn't know what she was doing by doing that. I couldn't tell her, though.
She knew something wasn't right. I'd confirmed that just a little bit ago, but she still had no idea how wrong it was. She needed me to fill in that blank, but I wouldn't.
With no way out, my back against a metaphorical corner, I didn't know what to do.
"God, what am I doing here?" I whimpered, sitting on the couch. I was literally shaking with fear. Covering my face briefly. Everything seemed to be happening quickly, and I hadn't yet come to terms with what this choice meant. All to keep Alice safe, I'd essentially just thrown myself into that box.
But no matter how much I hated that thought, I couldn't just let her go there. If I stayed here, she stayed here. If I went home, she went right along with me, and that was something I couldn't let happen. Just the thought of Alice anywhere near Jack made me just as nervous as the thought of him finding out I left. I was confused about which was worse.
I couldn't go home until I figured out a way to go back without her following me.
"I couldn't leave her there." Alice sighed, looking to Esme, "I couldn't do it."
Carlisle sighed, "Alice-"
"You'd do the same thing, I swear to you." She replied, "You have no idea how bad it is for her there."
"You don't even really know." I cried, looking up at her. Emotion shook my voice, "And you won't. You have to let me go back."
"I know enough to know that I can't do that." She countered, before she looked back to Carlisle, "I couldn't."
Carlisle took a breath, sighing it out as he glanced to Esme.
"I never should have said anything." I ignored the tears on my cheeks. Angrily clearing them when I couldn't ignore them anymore, but despite my own emotion, I stayed seated, "If I'd known you'd freak out like this, I would have just left the car as quick as I could. You have to let me go back."
"You go back, I go back."
"That's not fair." I snapped now.
"What's not fair is the way he treats you." She countered.
"He treats me just fine." I crossed my arms. She wasn't getting it.
"Are we back to that?" She sighed.
"Yes." I grumbled, "I'm sticking to it, because it's true. You're not being fair."
"You can go back whenever you want to, Leandra." She reminded me, "But you won't be going back alone."
"Stop it!"
I was so scared, I was lashing out a little. All I could think about was Jack getting home and finding me gone. All I could think about was him, his temper, and his threats. He was going to be so pissed.
"Alice," Carlisle spoke up, "Can I have a word with you in the kitchen, please?" He wasn't mad. He was calm, which helped me calm down slightly. I didn't ask for this, and I had a feeling he understood that.
I glanced up at the couch beside me becoming occupied, spotting Esme seated there now as Alice, Carlisle, and Edward all left the room.
"He's gonna be mad." I sobbed, unable to help it. Esme's expression softened in sadness. My heart wouldn't slow down, so I just cried a little more.
"It's okay." She offered beside me, "Breathe, sweetheart." If I were to allow myself to breathe, my crying would only get worse. Fear squeezed my throat closed as I clearly remembered each time he emphasized what would happen if I ever left him. Voluntarily or not. Not that that was ever specified, but I knew that was the way it was. If I ever left him. For any reason.
It took me several minutes for me to be able to look up enough to see the audience I had. I was still terrified, but I could breathe. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett all watched me with varying degrees of concern.
Alice, Edward and Carlisle all stayed talking in the kitchen. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I knew enough to know that it was about me. Esme stayed beside me, seeming a little lost.
How did I even know I was safe here? I didn't know these people, other than the fact that I'd dreamed about them. That didn't tell me shit about who they were or what they'd want with someone like me.
I folded my legs up, curling into a ball on the couch. Hiding the best I could in plain sight.
I was confused. That was clear. I had no idea where to even start to make sense of this situation. It seemed Alice wanted to stand between Jack and me, but I wanted to stand between Jack and her, which was where we were now. Any situation like that was bound to create some tension, but it wasn't up to her to stand between me and Jack. I didn't ask her to do that. I didn't ask for her help, but she was enforcing it anyway.
I looked over as Alice strode back into the room, a washcloth in her hand. She kneeled on the floor in front of the couch, and reached out. Taking my chin in her hand, she started washing my face for me. Gently, carefully smoothing the cloth over my cheeks, the subtle hint of soap on the cloth soothed me. Though I could do it myself, I didn't mind this.
I had to admit, the cool cloth felt nice on my overheated cheeks, but then I realized what she was doing. Jerking my head back, and looking at her with silent accusation in my eyes. She was uncovering my bruise. The thing that had alerted her that first day of what I hid.
"It's okay." She told me, and oddly enough, I became more cooperative. As if I had run out of resistance for a moment. I took a deep, shaky breath. A very needed one as she continued.
She glanced at Carlisle after a few silent moments, "She covers this every day. Every single day. With as good as she is at it, I don't doubt this is the only one she's ever had."
I stayed quiet. If she was hoping I'd add something, she was wrong. I wasn't ready to face this yet, and I knew she was urging me in that direction. I knew what was coming.
"Leandra." I looked over as Carlisle took the chair to my left, "Before we can do anything at all, I need you to tell me." I was well aware of that, but I hid again instead. I wasn't ready for this!
I wasn't doing this.
"Leandra?" He prompted again.
"Maybe we should let her calm down first." To my surprise, Emmett spoke up, "The kid's freaking out, and honestly, I can't blame her."
"I agree." Esme offered sadly, "This has to be terribly hard on her." I glanced to her, grateful for her attempt.
"Leandra." Alice spoke up this time, and I just sobbed again, "Come on. I know how hard this is on you. Believe me, I get it, but I know you have it in you. Just say it. That's all you have to do, and everything will stop. I promise."
I didn't know what could potentially get me into trouble here, so I stayed quiet. Neither denying or confirming. Did she really think I'd give up my life that easily?
"I can't ask any more specifically than that." She continued, "You need to tell me. It has to be your words, Leandra."
"Can I go back yet?" I asked instead, and she sighed a little.
"Just tell me." She urged. Reaching up, laying her hands over mine.
More silence.
What she wasn't getting, what I couldn't tell her, was that I'd been trained against this very same scenario. The hardest amount of pressure wouldn't get me to budge. I wouldn't say a word about it until I wanted to, and that would never happen. All it would do was make it harder on me. Standing against the pressure would only hurt me, but I had to do it.
No matter what, I had to keep my mouth shut. No matter what, I would keep what he did a secret. No matter how much I hated it, or how much someone pushed me, I would never budge.
"Leandra, please.." Her tone was softer, "Tell me. Just talk to me." I finally looked back up. Peering at her over my knees. Trying so hard to tell her with my eyes that I couldn't do it. I couldn't give in. I shook my head slightly, and despite the tiniest amount of movement, I knew she saw it.
"I just need you to say something, and we can make it stop." She added, "For good. You'll be safe. Don't you want that?" Of course I wanted that. I wanted that more than anything, but I didn't want to face the consequences of failing. She continued, "You don't have to worry. He won't get to you again if you just say something. No matter what he told you. Don't listen to him."
Nothing. They didn't know him. She was on the right track, but no.
"Alice." Edward murmured, gaining her attention from the other side of the room. Both she and I looked over as he gestured her to follow him again. She sighed, patting my hands as she slowly stood up.
"Let me try." Emmett spoke up, and I looked over at him as he stood up, replacing Esme beside me as she stood up as well. He plopped down beside me casually. Let him try? What would he do? I braced myself for anything. I tightened in my ball, glancing over at him nervously. He just smiled as he looked at me.
"Hi." He muttered.
"Hi." I replied, my quiet tone hesitant. He looked me over briefly, before he met my eyes again.
"How do you do that?" He asked.
"Do what?" I asked in return.
"Make yourself that small without even trying." He said, and I shrugged a little, "Well, it's impressive. Seriously, how tall are you?"
"I don't know." I admitted quietly. Where was he going with this?
"Here." He said, "Stand up." I hesitated as he stood up first, watching him, "Come on. I'm not gonna bite you."
He urged me forward with his hand, and slowly, I stood up as well to take the free spot beside him. Waiting for his point.
Touching the top of my head with his hand, he measured my height to his.
"Well," He said, "I'm over six feet. About six-four, and you're about half of me. That puts you at.. Really, really small." I smiled a little at that. That was funny.
"I knew that already." I mumbled, glancing up at him.
"Are you sure you're nine?"
"Pretty sure, yeah." I replied, "Last time I checked."
"What do you weigh?" He asked, and again, I shrugged, "Any estimates?"
"They said a few months ago in school that I weighted forty-nine." I shrugged gently again, "But I probably lost some since then."
"Forty-nine?" He asked, surprised, "Pounds?" What else?
"Yeah." I murmured.
"That settles it, then." He said, "We've gotta fatten you up." I smiled again, looking down. He was pretty funny. He wasn't trying to poke me into talking. He sighed as I sat back down. I didn't curl up again, though. He took the open seat beside me.
"Look here, short-stuff." He muttered, "No one here is trying to ruin your life. I know it seems like it's the end of the world, but I swear its not." He'd moved closer to making me clam up. He had to have seen that by the slight distrustful way my gaze hardened.
"It's not that." I stared down at my hands in my lap, "I know you're just trying to help me."
"Come on, shorty." He prompted, "I'm not that bad of a person, am I?" That, I was not expecting. Did he really think I thought that?
"No." I replied honestly, "I don't think you are."
"Then what is it?" He asked.
"I can't tell you that." I replied, shaking my head. I knew if they were going to leave me alone, I had to give them something. I spoke slower now, choosing each word carefully before I allowed myself to say it.
"There are things I can't say." I admitted quietly, "Things I won't say. No matter how good of a person you are, or how bad I want to."
"Would you prefer to have an officer here?" Carlisle asked, and I looked to him.
"No." I slowly shook my head, "Not now, not ever." I looked back down, "I hate them."
"Why?" Carlisle asked.
"They can't help me." I admitted, drawing my legs up again, "Nobody can."
"They can help you if you'd just-"
"Nobody can." I repeated, shaking my head, "You're wasting your time. I won't say anything."
Carlisle sighed quietly, standing up. Probably to go talk to Alice. For a brief moment, I felt the bitterness again. It wasn't their fault, and I didn't exactly blame them. I just hated the situation. I hated the fact that I couldn't say anything.
"Are you trying to protect him?" Jasper's question startled me, as I hadn't seen him approach to take Carlisle's vacated seat. I looked to him.
"Fuck no." I muttered, and beside me, Emmett stifled a chuckle.
"Goodness." I heard from Esme quietly, but I didn't focus too much on that.
"Then why won't you say anything?" Jasper asked.
"There's nothing to say." They had gotten exactly full circle with me, and they knew that, given Jasper's sigh. Beside me, Emmett was having trouble keeping his laughter back.
"I think you're irritating him, shorty." Emmett muttered to me.
"Good." I replied, "Just because I had to come back here doesn't mean I'm spilling everything."
"Had to?" Jasper asked. I fell quiet, carefully choosing my words for a reply.
"Alice said she'd wait there for him if I didn't agree to come back here." I explained, "I didn't want that, so I agreed. I was going to just walk back myself when we got here, but she won't let me."
"Why?" He asked, "Why didn't you want her to wait there?"
"I like her too much." I answered.
"Did you think she'd somehow be in danger?" Jasper asked, and I suddenly found my silence again. Staying quiet. Holding his gaze for a few seconds before I looked down.
"How about this." Emmett eventually sighed, "Shorty, can you tell me anything at all about the rest of your family?" Them? Though it confused me as to why they'd want to know anything about them, that was far easier to talk about.
"My mom's a drunk," I started thoughtfully, "My dad ditched when I was little, and I've been stuck with Jack most of my life. I don't know where my mom went, I don't know where my dad lives, and if I ever see him, I'll stab him in the eye with the nearest thing that'll fit. I don't know anyone else, or even if there is anyone else."
"Wow." Emmett muttered, looking to Jasper.
I sighed, squeezing my legs tighter with my arms, "I've thought about it a lot." That was the only explanation I had.
"Clearly." Jasper murmured.
"Why do you hate your dad?" Emmett asked.
"I don't even remember what he looks like." I admitted, "He left when I was really little, like.. Two or three. I haven't seen or heard from him since."
"At all?"
"Nothing. Not even a post card." I shook my head a little, "The only thing he ever gave me was his looks, I guess."
Jasper sighed again, standing up.
"Like I said." I muttered, looking up at him, "You're wasting your time. Nobody wants me. Nobody but Jack, and even then. I don't think he even really wants me."
I looked over as Alice and Edward returned. Taking a breath, which unfortunately resulted in a yawn. It'd been awhile since I'd felt this tired.
"Can I go back now?" I mumbled, watching as Alice got to my side.
"Leandra, what do you have against the police?" She asked instead. I looked down. She waited several seconds, until she spoke again, "Please don't tell me Jack is a cop himself." God, wouldn't that be horrible?
"No." I replied easily, "No, that's not it. Not even close." She sighed, clearly eased a bit, "He hates them just as much as I do."
"Then what is it?" She asked.
I couldn't tell her that either. My silence answered for me. She had to be catching on by now. Confirmed by her words a moment later.
"Another one you're not going to answer?" Alice eventually asked. I nodded, "Why won't you answer?"
"Because there's nothing to say." I repeated, and she sighed right along with Jasper this time, "No cops."
"Can you at least give me a number?" She asked, and for a second, I was confused.
"Number?" I asked.
"Between one and ten, how bad are you hurt?"
"I'm fine." I told her, and she actually groaned this time.
"All I want to know is how bad he's hurt you." She murmured, "Just give me a number." Getting me to give her a number was bad for me on two points. One, it would mean I was willing to budge on some things, which I really wasn't. Two, it would mean I would go back on all my attempts to lie. It would mean they were right. I didn't want that.
"I'm fine."
My lack of cooperation was starting to really grate on her nerves, and I knew it. The closer it got to the time Jack got home, the more I insisted that I go back. I knew that had to say a lot, but I couldn't help it. Eventually, the questioning slowed, which I appreciated as running them in circles was irritating me.
Carefully picking, choosing each response. Giving them nothing they could use. Without me admitting to anything or making a complaint myself, there was nothing anyone could do. Sure, they could call the cops if they wanted to. I'd lie to a room full of cops if I had to. I'd lie my ass off. I'd lie until I couldn't talk anymore. I'd always lie, and I'd make damn sure they believed me.
When there were less than thirty minutes left, I got really quiet.
My heart pounding quick, staring at the clock. Like I expected him to miraculously know exactly where I was and come to get me the second he found out I was missing. Trembling in my little ball, my shallow, tight breathing shaking along with me. I knew it was audible in the silent room, especially to Alice kneeling on the floor beside me, as I could even hear it above the sound of my heartbeat.
They didn't know what they were doing, that much was clear. If they did, they'd know that I had every right to feel as afraid as I did. Alice wouldn't keep trying to calm me down with words I wasn't paying any attention to.
Emmett tried to distract me by turning on the TV and inviting me to watch, but that didn't work. It was as if I could feel each moment I got closer to Jack finding out, and I wasn't dealing well with the pressure.
I'd already tried once to make a run for the door, but Alice was faster than I was. Explaining the entire way back to the couch that I really didn't need to worry this much. I did need to worry! That's what she wasn't getting!
I wasn't exactly fighting her, though. If I was really intent on getting away, I'd be fighting a lot harder than I was, even through my emotion.
I was torn. I wanted so bad to believe her, but I was also afraid. Scared of what not going back would bring me. The pressure increased. My own pressure. Torn between protecting Alice, and trying to protect myself. I didn't like the spot I was in.
So I sat there. Two minutes until the time Alice said he'd be getting back, hardly daring to breathe at all. She was waiting. I knew what she was waiting for, and I was waiting for it too. Once the time had passed when I knew he'd find out I was gone, the pressure would ease. I knew that, but I couldn't imagine it'd ease too much until I knew for sure he wasn't going to come flying through that door after me, chase me down, and strangle me on the spot.
"You don't know what you're doing." I whimpered, looking to Alice, "You really don't."
"I would know if you'd just tell me." She replied, returning my gaze, "But even then, I can't let you go back there."
I fell quiet again, my eyes back on the clock. Any second now, he'd been getting home to find out I wasn't there, and guaranteed, he wouldn't take it well. I wondered how many more holes I'd find in the walls, or how many windows would break. I wondered how bad it would be when I finally did go home.
"There." Alice spoke up a few minutes later, "See? You're still alive." For now.
I had to admit, though. It was easier to calm down after that. Maybe it was some sort of resigned-to-my-fate calm, but I couldn't keep that amount of tension up anymore. So I decided to watch the TV now instead of the clock.
"Will you cooperate now?" Alice asked, and wordlessly, I shook my head. I was already a runaway. A fugitive. Would I make that worse by singing like a bird? Nope.
"That's okay." She sighed, but I could tell she was disappointed, "How about something to wear for tonight?" I looked over, "To sleep in."
"I'm okay." I replied, "Thanks, though."
"I guess you were right." Rosalie muttered, her gaze on Alice as she stood up, "But weren't you the one that said not to push her?"
I watched after her as she left the room. Esme immediately stood up and followed her, which worried me a little. I hoped Rosalie wasn't in trouble for saying that.
"Don't mind her." Alice told me, offering a small smile.
"You're kidding, right?" I asked, "I hear worse than that every day."
"Like what?" She asked.
"Nice try." I grumbled, "I only meant what I hear at school." She didn't believe that, but she wouldn't say it.
"Kid's a brick wall." Emmett muttered casually from the other end of the couch as he flipped through channels on the TV, "I don't know why you keep butting heads with it." I smiled a little. Finally. Someone got it. I felt oddly proud of myself for holding out this long. Not a shred of information for them to run with.
"What's going through that head of yours?" Alice asked me, "You want to trust me. I know you do. What's stopping you?" I focused hard on the TV, my small smile fading.
"I can't." I finally replied, "I do want to, you're right. More than anything, but I can't." I couldn't do that to her. Trusting her meant relying on her. Relying on someone else was not only bad news for me, but for them as well.
"Alice." Carlisle called for her again, and I half wondered what they said about me when they left the room like that. I almost didn't want to know. I watched Alice stand up, and follow Carlisle toward the kitchen. Off toward where Rosalie and Esme had disappeared to.
I was tired. There was no doubt about that, and whatever movie was on the TV was putting me to sleep. I did feel a little uncomfortable sitting alone with Emmett, but I was too tired to care much at that point, much less move.
On the other end of the couch, Emmett glanced to me.
"Tired?" He asked, and I sighed.
"No." I lied, despite the fact that my head rested back against the couch, "So how long am I going to be held hostage?"
"Alice is pretty good at doing that." Emmett allowed.
"I'd kind of like to go home, and get it over with." I admitted.
"Get what over with?" He asked, glancing over again.
"Whatever grounding I get for running away." I replied, shrugging a little. I used that term loosely.
"You'd have to sort that out with your captor in there." He gestured toward the kitchen, "She doesn't know when to give up." I didn't know what to say to that. It confused me to realize that I wasn't so sure I wanted Alice to give up. I didn't want her to give up on me.
This was the most effort anyone had ever showed. Someone obviously unwilling to take 'I'm fine' as an answer. For once, part of me wanted someone to be more stubborn than I was.
I chose then to get more comfortable. I could be here awhile.
Tucking my feet to the side, my arm propping my head up on the armrest. My heavy eyes felt heavier this way, though.
"You're sure you're not tired?" Emmett asked, and I opened my eyes again.
"Nope." I replied, and he chuckled.
"Because you sure look tired, and it's been a pretty busy day for you."
I shrugged a little, otherwise not responding. Watching the screen, focused on it far more than I should be, to not notice how I couldn't concentrate on a damn thing that was going on in the movie.
"Kid's falling asleep in here." I jumped awake at Emmett's call minutes later. I had been. I didn't like that thought, so I stood up.
"No I'm not." I grumbled.
"Leandra," Alice came back into the room, "The guest room is just up the hall. If you're tired-"
"I'm fine." I sighed, "When am I going home?"
"Not tonight, so you might as well sleep." She replied, "Get some rest, Leandra."
This was frustrating as hell.
"Keeping me here isn't helping me." I told her, shaking my head, "You're only making it worse for me when I go back."
"You don't have to go back." She stressed again, "Just tell me."
"I can't do that." I was getting pissed. Really upset.
"You can." She countered, "But you won't. Why won't you?"
"I can't tell you that either." I denied instantly, "How many times do I have to say that?"
"You can." She repeated, "Leandra, he can't get to you here. Just tell me. That's all you have to do."
"You're not hearing me." I shook my head, but I sat back down. I was tired, and she knew that, but if she thought that I'd break just because I was tired, she was wrong. It would take more than that. It would take more than just a few hours to get that from me, and I had a feeling she was starting to see that.
"I hear you." She assured me, "I just know exactly where you're at right now. You're afraid, thinking he's going to punish you for talking. You think he's going to know you told the second you tell, but I'm telling you. He won't ever get to you again if you just tell me."
"Yes he will." I sighed, "You don't know him. You don't know what he's like. You don't know what he can do, and as much as I wish I didn't, I do know him. I know what he's like, and I know what he can do."
"He won't-"
"I know you need me to talk before you even think about calling the cops, and that's why you haven't yet." I muttered, "I know you can't do anything, because you need to know I'll cooperate. I know you won't call them just to have them waste their time, because you know I'll lie right to their faces, and you know they'll believe me. You need me to admit it to you, and you need me to admit it to them. I'm not going to. I never will, so you might as well let me go back."
"My, you are stubborn." She sighed.
"Thanks." I replied, "I know how these things work."
"Jack made sure of that, didn't he?"
"Yes." Finally! Something I could answer without giving too much away. She seemed a bit surprised at first that she finally got an answer from me, before she spoke again.
"He taught you."
"My whole life." I murmured carefully.
"Leandra," She slowly sat beside me, "What else did he teach you?"
I hesitated, biting my lip, "I can't tell you." She sighed, before I continued, "But I believe him."
I looked over, glancing at Carlisle as he entered the room. Immediately looking down again.
"You need to let me go back." I mumbled, shaking my head. I'd been too close to cooperating. Carlisle's arrival stopped that right in its tracks, thankfully.
"How about this.." She murmured, "Get some sleep, because it looks like you really need it, and we'll talk more in the morning."
"I'm fine." I sat back with another sigh. That was obviously a blatant lie, but if it showed my unhappiness, I was willing to do anything.
That was about it for the conversation. She didn't seem mad at me, or even irritated. She seemed so sad, like before. She saw my nervousness. My reluctance to believe in what she was saying. I wanted to believe her, but I already believed Jack, and I knew he wasn't happy. Pissing him off on purpose like this was as good as signing my own death certificate.
She left me alone after awhile, and I went back to watching TV. I didn't even remember laying down, but Emmett didn't rat on me this time. He stayed quiet, hardly paying much attention to me at all. Of course, me curled into an insecure ball on my side could have had everything to do with that.
Just closing my eyes to rest them wasn't so bad, though. Just for a minute. I could do that. It was definitely relieving to do so. Soothing my tired eyes, and easing the headache I was developing.
I never even realized how deeply I snoozed until I jumped awake at a thin blanket being laid over me. Whimpering in my sleepy state.
I laid in the same position I must have fallen asleep in. Laying almost completely on my stomach, my cheek against the couch. The TV and most of the lights had been turned off, leaving the now empty and quiet room lit, but dimly. I yawned deeply, trembling with the force of it.
"I'm sorry, honey." It was Esme, "I didn't mean to wake you up." I didn't even try to sit up or move. I was too worn out.
"It's not your fault." I mumbled, resting my eyes closed, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"It's late." She murmured quietly, "Would you like me to show you the guest room?"
"Can I stay here?" I asked quietly. I was comfortable where I was, and really didn't feel up to moving. If I were to move, I'd be wide awake again. I didn't exactly want to be in the way, either, but I had to ask.
"Of course." She replied easily, "Get some rest. We'll figure everything out in the morning." I nodded a little, already half asleep, "The bathroom is just up the hall, first door on your left. If you need anything at all, I'll be upstairs. First hall, third door on the left."
I doubted I'd need anything, or would even dare try to find her in the middle of the night with Carlisle around, but I nodded anyway. I was pretty easily managed. Just like a cat. Show me the litter box and the food bowls, and I pretty much fended for myself. If I could have fit under the coffee table, I'd have hidden myself away there.
Too exhausted to stay awake, I didn't even remember her leaving the room.
When I did wake up later, I had turned over. Curled into a ball on my left side, facing the back of the couch. It took me a minute to remember everything that happened yesterday, and for a second, I was almost afraid to believe I was anywhere but in my room. Considering I laid curled up completely covered by the blanket, head and all, I was a little afraid to pull back the blanket.
I went to move, but the pain was intense. My bruises all protesting at once, and not being used to sleeping here or in this position only added to the pain. I was stiff and uncomfortable.
"Ow." I whimpered quietly.
"Leandra?" I flinched a little, whimpering as the movement brought me pain, at Esme's voice beside me. Well, at least this is definitely real.
"Ow." I whimpered again.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" I forced myself to sit up, pushing back the blanket. Oh, I'm perfectly fine. I just feel like I got ran over sometime in the last few hours.
"Sleeping sucks." I mumbled, looking up at her. I stretched as deeply as I dared, sighing. I looked up at her, "Sorry for falling asleep."
"Don't be sorry." She replied, "It was perfectly alright. Did you sleep okay?"
"I'm surprised I moved at all." I admitted, "I don't even remember dreaming." Which was a good thing.
She smiled, "I'm glad."
"So what now?" I asked quietly, "Is Alice going to keep poking for an answer that I'll never give her, or will she let me go back?"
"For now," Esme answered, "It's breakfast time. What would you like?"
"I'm still full from yesterday." I laughed a little, surprised, "I don't eat very much."
"I've heard." She replied, "So I'm guessing you'd prefer something light?" I nodded a little.
"Can I come with you?" I asked, and she smiled, "I don't feel like getting pounced on yet." I gave a brief look around, glad not to see Alice anywhere for once.
"Of course." She told me, and I stood up. Carefully, of course, as any fast movement was out of the question when I felt like this.
I followed her quietly into the kitchen, checking over my shoulder like I expected to be plucked up at any second.
"This place is so big." I finally muttered as I sat down, "Much bigger than where I live. I think I could fit my whole house on the first floor. Then again, there's only three, now two of us living there."
"Does this house still seem familiar to you?" She asked, and I nodded a little.
"I almost forgot about that." I sighed, "I haven't thought much about it since Alice brought me back here the second time yesterday."
"She only means well, honey." She assured me.
"I think she might be more stubborn than I am." I shook my head, "That's definitely a first for me."
"She's just determined." Esme replied, "She's so sure that all you need is time."
"She just doesn't get that I can't tell her anything." I muttered, "I would if I could. I even want to, but I can't." I took a breath, "To some people, things like this are possible. To me, it's impossible. Just something I can't do. I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass. I have no choice in it."
She sighed, "I think you're too busy worrying about everyone else to worry about yourself." I looked up, "Am I right?" I didn't reply.
"Rosalie said she wanted to go there yesterday." I said instead, "Why?"
"You heard that, huh?"
"It wasn't hard to hear." I admitted, which was true. Rosalie had been easier to hear than everyone else. Confirming my eavesdropping the day before.
"She refuses to tolerate any mistreatment caused by someone like him, Leandra." She explained, "Especially of children."
I pursed my lips, "And she's so sure."
"She's positive." She corrected, placing a bowl of cereal in front of me, "We all are, but without your cooperation, there isn't much we can do. Without your cooperation, there isn't much the police can do."
"I know." I replied, sliding the bowl closer to me, "I count on that."
"Don't you want to be helped?"
"Yeah." I murmured, "I do, but.." I hesitated, thinking hard about how to answer without giving anything specific away, "I believe him more than I believe anyone who tells me they can keep me safe."
"So he's threatened you?" She asked, and I hesitated again, "It's okay, sweetie. I won't say anything unless you want me to. I just need to understand." I believed her on that one.
"He's showed me." I murmured quietly as she came around the counter to sit with me, "I know what'll happen if I say anything at all. That's why I'm so careful. That's why it's impossible."
"What did he threaten, honey?"
"I can't tell you that." I mumbled, "I'm still not giving anything specific away."
"I understand." She sighed.
"I just.." I shrugged a little, "I don't want that more than I want to risk anyone trying to save me."
"I see."
"You don't know what he can do." I warned quietly, looking over at her, "I don't know how he does it, but he can get away with anything. I'm proof enough of that, so I'm not stupid. I normally always do everything he tells me to do, because that's the only way I know of to keep him happy. Or happy enough." I looked down, "He's going to be so mad."
"Is he influential?"
"What?" I didn't understand the term.
"Is he good with people?" She clarified.
"Very." I replied, "And he's the best liar I've ever seen in my life. Sometimes I can't even tell when he's lying or not. Sometimes, I don't even think he knows that he's lying. I try to be as good as he is, but sometimes, I mess up. That's probably why I'm here right now." I sighed, "I should have been better."
"I don't think it would have made a difference, sweetie." She admitted quietly, "To be completely honest, I know it wouldn't have." I looked over at her, "I just want you to understand that you don't have to be afraid. You don't need to question every motive, or doubt our sincerity."
"It just doesn't make sense." I murmured, "I don't know why anyone as amazing as Alice is, or any of you would ever want to help someone like me. She said it's because I don't see it, but that doesn't help me figure it out any easier."
"It's true." She replied, "We normally don't reach out like this, but with a solution so simple versus the benefits, it's the right thing to do."
"But it's not simple."
"I think Alice is starting to see that." She allowed, "This was bound to be difficult from the start, and she knew that, but she's such a caring person. She had to try. I think she might have underestimated how tough it could be to make any progress when someone is holding onto fear like you do."
"I'm not worth it." I muttered, "I've been saying that all along, and nobody's listened."
"You couldn't be more wrong, honey." Esme murmured, offering a sad smile, "The fact that you insist so much that you're not worth it is reason enough to prove that you are."
For the oddest reasons, hearing that from her made me want to cry. I'd never had anyone tell me that before, and though it did make me want to cry, I didn't want Esme to see it, so I turned away. Looking down at my hands on the counter.
Once I was sure I could keep from crying, I looked back over at her.
"I have to go back." I told her, "It's not because I want to, but I have to go back. Just so he knows I was good. I have to go back."
"I know." She sighed, smoothing my hair down my back. I wasn't used to the gesture, tensing at first. I hadn't felt that before, but to her, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. I looked back and up at her hand, looking to her next. She smiled at me, which eased that nervousness.
"I'm not used to that." I explained quietly.
"I'm sorry." She replied, moving her hand away.
"But it's not bad." I told her, and she smiled again.
Taking the hint, she did it again, and for a second, I considered what it would be like to get used to that. Just allowing myself a second to think about how it felt, how comforting it was. Just allowing myself one moment to think about how much more I preferred the comfort to the pain. I'd always thought I would, but now it was real.
But that didn't help. I still had to go back. It was nice to daydream, but reality couldn't be ignored. Reality. Jack. My mother's husband, my stepfather. My burden. The one that held the leash, the key to the cage. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get away from it. Not because I didn't want to. I couldn't. It was impossible.
I sighed sadly, looking to her again. She read my expression easily.
"Alice went about this all wrong." She spoke again, her smile fading with sadness, "I can't blame her a bit, but it would never have worked out going about things this way." I shook my head, agreeing with her, "I think she's starting to see that too. I'll go talk to her."
Finally, someone was hearing me.
"Thank you." I told her quietly, and she patted my hand, smoothing my hair once more as she stood up.
I sat there alone for just for a minute, before Emmett's arrival took my attention. He seemed almost hesitant to approach me, but it could have been the way I looked at him. He offered a small smile, which I tried to return, but it definitely wasn't my best.
"I'm surprised you didn't book it during the night." He told me conversationally.
"Nah." I shook my head, looking back down at my bowl, "I'd probably get lost trying. Besides. I was too tired to even try."
"You couldn't get lost." He replied, taking the open seat beside me, "Just follow the driveway to the highway." Despite sitting next to me, he still seemed to manage to keep his distance. Oddly enough.
"I'm not the smartest person around." I reminded him, "I'm actually pretty stupid."
"Now, that I doubt." He muttered, "Come on, shorty."
I shrugged, chasing the cereal around the bowl with my spoon. I didn't know what else to say at that point. I'd already said everything I needed to say. Several times, actually. I was even starting to get on my own nerves with every lie that left my mouth.
"So you remember this place, huh?" He asked, and I looked over again.
"Sort of." I mumbled, "It's weird, and really hard to explain."
"Try?" He requested.
"Well," I sighed, "It's like.. Well, you know how sometimes you wake up with the feeling like you forgot something important? Or like.. Like there's something you're trying to remember, but it takes it a minute to come to you?"
"Yeah." He smiled a little.
"It's like that." I replied, "Except it's probably a million times more confusing and it's taking its time coming back to me. Running into things and people I dreamed about only makes it more confusing, instead of helping it along."
"I get it." He nodded a little, "See, that wasn't so hard to explain, was it?"
"It makes it easier when people don't laugh at me." I admitted.
"It's not a joke." He replied, "Why would I laugh at you? I think it's actually pretty cool."
"You do?" I asked.
"Hell yeah." He said, "I can't do that. Not many people out there can, shorty." Well, when he said it like that..
"I still don't think I can." I muttered, "It's a little hard to believe."
"Even with the evidence right in front of you?" He asked, "Or I should say, in there." He lightly poked my forehead. I shook my head away from his finger, leaning away a little.
"Even then." I sighed, "I think I just need more time, though. My mind keeps trying to make up reasons, but none of the reasons it comes up with make sense."
"That's because you already know the reason." He told me, "You just won't accept it."
"Maybe." I allowed with a shrug, "It's just things like this never happen to me. I've never really had any worth to anyone before, so someone telling me I can do this amazing thing.. I guess it scares me."
"Hey, imagine how I feel." He replied, "You know me from a dream you had. How scary is that?" I couldn't help smiling a little. The way he said that was funny.
"I don't know you-know you." I pointed out, "You're just familiar."
"And the others?"
"Same." I sighed, "Talking to you now doesn't help me remember before. God, that sounds so crazy." I covered my face.
"No it doesn't."
"Who knows?" I focused on my bowl again, "Maybe I am nuts."
"I really doubt it."
"It wouldn't be impossible." I grumbled, "Not with the shit I've seen." He stayed quiet for several seconds. Giving me time to stand up and round the counter to the sink with my bowl. I couldn't eat. My stomach was in too many knots.
"It's not over, you know." He spoke up, and I looked to him again. Hesitating briefly.
"What do you mean?" I asked quietly.
"Nobody's giving up on you." He replied. He sighed as he stood up, "I've seen Alice determined before, but this is a whole new level."
"I can be just as determined, you know." I muttered.
"I believe it." He chuckled.
"Think I can make it out the front door without anyone noticing?"
"No." He replied, "I'd notice."
"Sure, you'll notice." I shrugged, "But would you say anything?"
"You have this way of turning everything around." He was amused, "Sorry, shorty. If I didn't say anything, Alice would skin me. She's gonna save you if it kills her."
I watched as he turned before I sighed to myself, "It might just kill one of us."
He paused, "What was that?"
"Nothing." I shook my head, turning on the faucet. If only they knew.
"No." He came back over, "What did you just say?"
"Nothing." I repeated.
"Before that."
"I didn't say anything before that." I kept my eyes down.
"I heard you say something." He insisted, sitting back down.
I shook my head, rinsing out my bowl even more thoroughly.
"Do you have any idea how frustrating this is?" He asked.
"Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to not be listened to when I do say something?" I asked, "And you wonder why I don't bother to explain?" I hesitated, before I looked down, "Sorry."
I really needed to learn how to keep my mouth shut better. Being opinionated only led to pain.
"For what?" He asked.
"Talking to you like that." I muttered, laying my now clean bowl gently in the dish rack beside the sink, "I normally don't. I'm sorry."
"You know, shorty." He sighed, leaning his arms on the counter, "You seem like someone with a whole hell of a lot to say." I shrugged a little, "Why don't you say it?"
"Because I'm not that stupid." I replied, "I know what talking back gets me, and it's nothing good. Why bother?"
"Are you this secretive all the time?"
"Most of the time," I muttered, leaning on the counter myself, "I don't have to be."
"You're pretty good at running people around in conversational circles." He pointed out.
"I've had practice."
"I can tell." He replied, chuckling a little.
With that, I attempted a small smile and moved away. Stepping back around the counter and heading for the living room. I hesitated a bit, stopping a few steps away from where Carlisle and Esme stood talking. They looked over at me.
"When am I going back?" I asked, not missing their worried glances at each other, "What?"
"Oh, boy." Emmett sighed, passing me. Watching him took my gaze out the window. Out in front of the house, I immediately spotted the two police cars outside in the driveway. I jumped back a step.
"No." I whimpered, "No. No, no, no. You said you wouldn't call them!" My voice broke in my sudden panic, looking to Carlisle as he sighed at the knock at the door, "Why'd you call them?"
"We weren't the ones to call them." He replied, "It's okay, Leandra. Stay calm. It'll be okay."
Esme offered her hand, and I couldn't resist taking it. If they didn't call them, then what the fuck did they want?
"Carlisle." Alice and Jasper both descended the stairs at the same time, watching him head for the door. I traded Esme's hand for Alice's as she made it to my side, watching toward the door.
"Leandra," Alice spoke up quietly, and I looked to her, "Just tell them the truth."
"I can't do that." I gasped, "I can't talk to them." My mind was already working, however. They could probably get into trouble for me being here. I didn't want them to get into trouble. I didn't want Alice to face trouble, which was why I was here at all, but depending on what they were here for, they could be my ticket out of here without Alice following me.
She could probably see me thinking hard.
"Don't lie." Alice repeated, turning me to face her, "You don't know how important this is right now, but you will. Don't lie. Just tell the truth." I shook my head.
"Leandra?" Carlisle called ahead of himself, and I knew he was leading the two cops inside. I sobbed, trying to keep the tears back as I stepped to the side. Hiding behind Alice.
I hated cops. After what Jack told me about them, I hated them. I couldn't stand them.
"I'm awfully sorry about this, Dr. Cullen." One of the cops was saying, "I know how much of an inconvenience this is." Jasper beside me sighed almost silently.
"It's not a problem." Carlisle replied, "She's right in here." I watched their approach, peeking out from behind Alice, trying so hard to control my trembling.
"Calm down, Leandra." Jasper muttered to me, "You'll be okay."
"I can't." I whimpered.
"There you are." One of the cops smiled at me, "Leandra, I'm Officer Moore, but you can call me Nick. This is Officer White."
Good to know, I thought bitterly.
"You can call me Gabe." The second cop smiled at me, and I wanted to hit him.
"Hi." I said instead. What did they want?
"You know, your dad is pretty worried about you." Nick told me. Jack? Jack had to have been the one to call them if he was being mentioned.
"He's not my dad." I replied on instinct, "He's my stepdad."
"My apologies." He chuckled, "Your stepdad is worried about you. He gave us a call when you never came home last night." What?
"I forgot to call him." I muttered after a second of thought, "I'm sorry. I should have."
"Leandra?" Alice murmured, but I ignored her.
"I just came over to spend time with Alice." I continued, looking up at her and her 'what the hell are you doing' look, "I didn't think I'd spend the night. It just sort of happened." I threw a tense laugh in there at the end.
"I see." Nick nodded, laughing a little as well, "He seemed so convinced you were kidnapped. Quite upset, actually."
"No." I denied, "Not at all. I just forgot to call." I paused, "How'd you know where I was?"
"We traced the phone number Mr. Wallace had given us this morning." Nick answered, "The number from the call he'd received a few days ago. I almost didn't need to look it up." He smiled, "I recognized it almost right away as Dr. Cullen's number."
"Oh." I nodded, looking down, "You didn't tell him, did you?"
"No." He replied, "Unless it's an issue, there wouldn't be a reason to let him know where you were."
"Good." I muttered.
"What happened to your cheek, sweetheart?" Gabe asked, frowning a little.
Alice tried again, her voice quiet, "Leandra, don't-"
"The cabinet door." I laughed instead, "I forgot it was open, and ran right into the corner of it the other day." Immediately, he seemed to believe me, given his smiling laugh.
"You have to be more careful." He told me, "It looks like it got you good."
"It did." I nodded, "And I know. I'm usually more careful. I guess I was just distracted that day." Sighing heavily, Alice turned away from me to pace a few steps.
Nick sighed as well, "Come on then, honey. Your stepdad is waiting for you at home."
I looked to Alice, as if to say that this really hadn't been a good idea, before starting forward. I would gladly lie to the cops rather than let them get into trouble for trying to help me. I'd gladly lie to anyone, especially if it meant I could find a way back without her insisting on following me.
All it would take was one good pin, and raising my shirt over my back, but I felt confident that Alice wouldn't do that. She wanted me to come to this on my own. Hence, the constant questioning all night. She knew full well she could prove it if she really had to, but she wouldn't force me like that. That would just make me hate her, and she knew it.
"Leandra, wait." She called ahead, and I paused, turning to look back at her. She strode forward and hugged me tightly. I grunted quietly at the force of it, wincing into her side. As if giving me a small reminder of what I'd just done.
"Anytime." She murmured softly, and I looked up at her. The offer still stood? Even after I just lied through my teeth to the two cops standing in their living room? Even after I'd just gone the unfair way? I glanced to Carlisle, and he nodded gently, confirming what she said.
"Anytime." I repeated, letting them know I understood.
I took time to thank Esme with a light hug as well, spotting Rosalie and Emmett on the stairs behind Jasper. Ever-so-slightly, Rosalie shook her head, but her eyes were on me, so I knew she probably thought I was out of my mind. Esme released me with a hesitant whimper, and I knew she hated this too.
"Take care, sweetheart." She told me, and I nodded.
"I'll try." I murmured, sighing.
I wondered how many more times I'd need to shove this family out of the way of my problems. It was getting exhausting, and it definitely tested me.
Nick chuckled as I made it to his side, "You may have one less fan in town if he finds out about this, Dr. Cullen. It won't be hard for him to look up your number himself." Why didn't he do that anyway? Maybe in case I'd already squealed, and sending the cops here first would give him time to get away? Who knew?
"I understand." Carlisle replied, "I know how worried he must have been."
Jack wasn't worried. Not about me.
It did surprise me, though, that Jack would ever voluntarily talk to the police. For any reason, much less about me unless he had a reason behind it.
I should have felt lucky Nick let me ride in the front seat of his car instead of in the back, but that didn't make me feel any better. I didn't bother looking up as we left. I was honestly scared out of my mind, but I'd had a feeling I would have to face this the second I let Alice take me away the evening before.
Jack was waiting outside the house as we pulled up, slowly stepping down the porch steps as I climbed out. His eyes were stones, so I knew he was pissed. I hardly looked at him, the fear already creating a cement ball in my stomach.
"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" He demanded of me, but lifted me off my feet in a too-tight hug the second I reached him. It was painful and made it hard to breathe, but I didn't dare complain.
"It was just a simple misunderstanding." Nick told him, "It happens all the time, believe it or not."
"She's just not usually like that." Jack sighed in return, finally letting me sit back, "Thank you for bringing her home."
"Just doing my job." Nick smiled, "If that's all, then I guess I'll be going. Just remember to call home from now on, young lady."
"Yes, sir." I mumbled, nodding a little.
The second the front door was closed, I braced myself as he dropped me onto my feet. My heart pounding a thousand miles a minute as he grabbed my shoulder, turned me around to face him and shoved me back against the wall with a loud thud. I held my breath, standing stone-still, waiting for him to start beating on me.
"I hope you're happy." His tone trembled in his anger, "I really fucking hope you're happy."
"I'm sorry." I whimpered, and he snorted.
"Who was it?" He demanded, "Where did you go?"
"They never told you?" I asked.
"All they'd tell me was that they knew where you were, and they'd bring you home." He replied, "Where'd you go? You were with someone." I backed up, pressing further back against the wall.
"I-I.." I couldn't think straight with him watching me like that.
"Where'd you go?" He asked again, and I flinched as he hit the wall beside my head with his palm. I whimpered, covering my head. It was stupid. Beyond stupid to not answer him immediately, but I couldn't. I didn't want them in trouble. It wouldn't be hard for him to find out anyway, but he wouldn't get that information from me. I didn't spend the night before standing stubborn just to rat them out now.
"Fuck it." He finally barked, "It doesn't matter anyway."
"It doesn't?" I had to ask.
"No." He grumbled, "We're going to be a day late because of you, but fuck it." Wasn't he going to beat the shit out of me? "I just want to know one goddamn thing." It sure sounded like it.
I waited, watching as he stepped closer, "What'd you say?"
"Nothing." I answered immediately, "I didn't say anything. I swear."
He reached out, grabbing hold of my chin and forcing my face up. His jaw clenched, "Nothing?"
"Nothing."
"Then explain the bruise, you dumb bitch."
"The cabinet." I replied, "The door was open, and I ran into the corner of it." He blinked, as if surprised. His anger lessening a bit as he inspected the bruise. I knew with the shape of it, it could just pass as believable.
"Oh," He muttered, "Good one." He hesitated, holding me there, "And whoever you told this to.. They believed you?"
"Yes." I murmured, "Every word."
He paused while I studied his expression.
"You better hope to God you're right." He growled, "You know how stupid it would be for anyone to come sniffing where they shouldn't."
"I know." My voice hardly made a sound. I trembled in his grip. He inspected me, probably seeing right through me. He was too good at seeing passed any attempt I made to lie.
"But that's already happened, hasn't it?"
"I-I was good, Jack." I whimpered now, seconds from tears, "I promise I was good."
"Hasn't it?" He asked again, and I turned my head. I couldn't look at him anymore. Far too terrified to even try. He continued, "What did I say? Hmm? What did I say would happen?" His voice was too soft, and I hated it.
I couldn't reply.
"You'll disappear." He assured me, "Don't you worry about that." I started to cry. I couldn't help it, "Don't you worry." He patted my cheek roughly with each word, before he let me go. I dared a look, hardly opening my eyes as I looked forward again at the sound of his keys jingling a few steps away. I watched him yank a lock off a hook on the wall, and I knew immediately what that was for.
I had just enough time to duck, and attempt to run as he grabbed for me again. He caught a hold of my hair, though. Reminding me why I should have cut it. Just chopped it all off.
I whimpered desperate apologies the entire way through the kitchen, and out the back door. Down the steps, across the yard. Them getting increasingly louder and more pleading the closer we got to the box.
"I'll get you out of here tonight. You're lucky I don't keep you in here for a week, you stupid little bitch." Was all he said to me as he gripped my upper arm painfully, digging his fingers into my skin to the point where I could feel each individual bruise I'd get.
His other arm lifted me around the waist, even as I kicked and fought, and he dumped me roughly into the small wooden structure, slamming the lid shut loudly. I heard the lock go on before I could even recover from landing nearly head first onto the soil below me, and started to cry harder. I knew it was stupid, but I tried pushing on the door anyway. Of course, it didn't budge.
It was dark in here, daylight only making it through in a few spots, so I couldn't look around myself yet. I knew there had to be at least a few bugs or spiders in here. Not to mention the smell of damp earth and mold nearly choking me. It wasn't a very big box. Not enough room to stand in, but I could kneel up and move around if I had to.
I hated it in here. It terrified me, and he knew that.
He walked away. What I could hear over the sound of my cries, was his chuckle and seconds later, the back door slamming shut. I couldn't help it. I curled into a tight, upright ball and my tears continued. I hugged my knees, and they muffled my cries as they squeezed from me.
God. It wasn't that I didn't want to take Alice's advice. I wanted that more than anything. I saw the truth in what she said. I wasn't stupid. I knew the things he said and did to me weren't right. This wasn't right. I knew that. I'd always known that, but I just had to keep going through it.
It wasn't that easy. Not when Jack had everything he needed to come through on his threats. Nobody could help me when he constantly bragged about being able to get out of anything. I believed him, because I knew him. I knew what he was like. I knew what he was capable of.
It hurt so much. Knowing I'd probably die, and they'd never know what happened to me. I wasn't dumb. I knew an afternoon and evening in this box wouldn't kill me. It was what would happen when he came to get me that night that scared me so bad.
Death wasn't something I was confused about. I knew what it meant, as Jack made sure I understood it completely, but I couldn't deny that it scared me. I sobbed hard into my jean-covered knees, holding onto them for dear life. I was so stupid. I should never have agreed the night before.
I should never have talked to Alice that day. I should have just let Rachel go forward. Every stupid choice I made led me here. On the verge of losing my life because I just wanted to be seen. I should have known better.
I'd never get to apologize to them. I'd never get to thank them any more than I have. I'd never get to thank them for trying. For being so nice to me. For wanting to help me, even if I was a lost cause. For trying to give me some sort of hope when nobody else would bother.
I held so tight to myself that I shook. I just needed something, anything to hold on to, and I was the only thing I had.
When I had no more tears left to give, I sat there quietly. Staring at my knees almost numbly. My fingers lightly balled in my pantlegs. Just to hold on. I just needed to bide my time. Hold on until that night, but it was hardly mid-morning. I couldn't have even been in here an hour yet.
I recalled my three days spent in here a little over two years ago. Every day felt like three days in itself, so I knew how slowly time would pass for me this time. I whimpered to myself, looking around myself in the dark. Sniffling in an attempt to clear my eyes of any renewing tears.
There were plenty of things in here I could use to get myself out of here, but I wouldn't dare. A shovel and other tools of the sort.
"I'm sorry." I whimpered to no one. Maybe hoping Jack would somehow hear it, but I knew better. I at least had the comfort of knowing when he'd come for me, and what he said earlier told me that we'd still be leaving, but I was right back to the same question.
Where would he be taking me?
Dragging me out into the woods to kill me there? Bury me? Set me on fire? Leave me half alive for some animal to finish the job? Drown me in a lake? Throw me off a cliff? Choke me? Stab me?
Every thought made my panic and trembling worse.
I used to always wonder how Jack would choose to end my life, and 'make me disappear' like he always promised to if anything like this had ever happened, but I never actually had to really worry about it. Not like this. Not this way.
A/N: I know some reviewers that will probably be a little irritated lol
I knew the whole time that this wouldn't change much. Sorry. :(
THANK YOU! To my reviewers, anyhow! I love reading your thoughts. :D
I had a little bit of trouble with this chapter. It took me longer than I thought it would, but I made it through it.
Seven (hopefully) will be easier, considering it's not as new as this one was. :)
Until Seven, my friends! :D