And 2p!Norpan returns, due to lack of anything else to do for this one. Featuring past Itapan, Romapan, and Prupan. Wow, Kuro gets around.

Disclaimed.

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Day 28: Doing something ridiculous

"Siguuuurd!" Kuro whined. "It'll be fun! C'mon, please? Please? Pleeeeeaaaaase?"

Sigurd sighed. "Alright, sweetheart. Since it's you."

Kuro smiled, clapping his hands together. Aw, it was so hard to resist his boyfriend in a childish mood. He was the cutest thing!

Although…

"If we drug England and France, they'll kill us."

"They'll kill you!" Kuro replied. "I just have to smile innocently and say I had nothing to do with it~!" He demonstrated said smile. It wouldn't convince anyone who knew the red eyed nation, but…

"That is such a cop-out," Sigurd complained. "Manipulative little shit."

Kuro shrugged. "I've been called worse. C'mon, we need to get stuff off China."

Sigurd sighed, wondering how he'd gotten into this mess.

Ah, right. Kuro, having noticed the giant lump of unresolved sexual tension between Francois and Oliver, decided to play matchmaker. He failed miserably at the commonplace methods, and came up with a brilliant idea: He'd slip the two of them aphrodisiacs and alcohol and lock them in a room together for a few hours.

Because that couldn't possibly end badly.

In any case, the infuriating Japanese managed to get the Italies, Prussia, and China on board, via various past romances and familial relations. Sigurd, meanwhile, tried not to feel upset at the vast quantity of past romances Kuro had managed to rack up.

(Whether this was because of jealousy or a lack of his own past romances was left unsaid.)

Back to the matter at hand…

Kuro now had a locked room and various aphrodisiacs at his disposal, and all he had to do was slip the drugs into the two glasses of wine on the table before the two victims- er, nations, arrived. In other words, the world's most hyperactive ninja was reporting for duty.

"Ufufufufu…" Kuro clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his not-quite-psychotic giggling. "I'm so glad you agreed to help~!" he cheered. "Remember, you have to keep Francey and Ollie busy until I say. You can do that, right?"

Sigurd smiled despite himself. "I can keep Ollie busy at least… France shouldn't be too hard to deal with."

"Thank you, Sigurd~! You're the best!" Kuro tackle-hugged his boyfriend before sprinting off down the corridor. The Norwegian shook his head.

"I wonder if he got at China's opium stash while he was getting the aphrodisiacs…"

"I heard that!"

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So, keep Ollie and France busy while Kuro slips drugs into their wine. Why can't he just deal with the drugs before they get there? Sigurd sighed. Easier said than done… But it was for Kuro, so he'd try.

"Hi, Ollie~!"

The Brit spun around. "Sigurd, hi~! You know, I got the oddest invitation for a tea party earlier… And it turns out Francey got the same one! Do you recognize the handwriting?" England showed his friend the note. Sigurd did recognize the handwriting; it was Kuro, of course, who'd written the notes. He didn't trust their matchmaking allies enough to let them handle it.

"Oh, I don't know…" Sigurd lied. "Why don't you go ask France? Maybe he'll know!"

"Ooh, yes!" Oliver agreed enthusiastically. "And then we can go together! Oh, Francey, there you are~!"

Sigurd smiled in relief. Hopefully France would keep Ollie busy until-

bzzt
bzzt

Sigurd checked his phone. Ah. Until that.

What's taking so long? Get those two down here already!
-Kuro

The Norwegian glanced over at the other two. He didn't want to be too obvious about trying to get them down to the room (if he was, Ollie would realize he was part of the whole thing), but if he didn't get the pair down soon, Kuro would be upset. And if Kuro was upset, that meant Sigurd would be sleeping on the couch.

Oh, what a dilemma…

Kuro or Oliver…? Hm. Well…

Kuro had more allies. And he was scarier, cuter, and almost certainly better for… ahem, 'diplomatic relations'.

Also, it was Kuro. No one could resist those puppy eyes. "Hey, you two! Shouldn't you get going? Don't want to be late, do you?"

"Oh, right~!" Oliver grabbed France's wrist. "C'mon, Francey!"

Sigurd sighed in relief, watching them run off. His part in all this was over; he could just sit back and wait.

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"Did you really watch them?"

A pale hand covered the smaller nation's mouth. "Ufufu… Well, of course~! It was funny! I was half hoping they'd catch me," he admitted shamelessly.

Sigurd shook his head. "Kuro, you masochist."

"I don't know what you mean," the other replied primly. "And even if I did, I bet you would've enjoyed it if they'd caught me. Sadist."

"I'm not a-!" The Norwegian sighed. "We proved you're a masochist. I get off on watching you get off, that's not the same thing as sadism. So, back to the topic at hand… How'd it go?"

"Wonderfully," Kuro sighed happily, a faint blush staining his cheeks. He apparently decided to leave the sadism debate for another day. "And most amusingly… The aphrodisiacs kicked in for Francey-pants first, so I got to watch him trying to jump Ollie~!" He went to turn on the TV. "I videotaped it, if you want to see…?"

Well, wasn't that exactly like Kuro.

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Weird. Also, yes, Kuro is a masochist. It just seems to suit him! No shame. Shit ending again as well…

Er, drugging Ollie and Francey to make 2p!FrUK happen is ridiculous, isn't it?

Only two days left, only two days left…

Next up: Doing something sweet.

See ya~!

-Bird