A/N: Hey guys! So sorry for the wait; this is supposed to be a Christmas Fic and it is so way past Christmas. So, I apologize. (My excuse: I, along with my fellow moderators, have been working hard on the Final Ballot for the Profiler's Choice Awards. It's up and ready to be voted on. Details are down below.) Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I swear it will become more Christmas-y in the following chapters.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Chapter 4:

It was back to waiting for Emily. She sat patiently in the generic looking waiting room. Hands folded in her lap, awaiting her turn to visit with Derek. Nearby sat Garcia and Reid; both refused to go home. Each of them insisted on waiting until Morgan awoke, even though Dr. Hartnell (who was hovering around the waiting room quite a bit) hadn't given them a timeframe for when that would happen.

JJ and Hotch had gone in next. And Rossi and Kate had offered to pick up Fran Morgan, her daughters, and Derek's cousin from the airport.

Glancing to her right, she noted how Garcia and Reid continued to hold onto each other. It was nice that they were relying on each other for support. Not so nice for Emily that neither of them seemed up for a chat. About all they'd said after returning from Derek's room was that the next pair could go in. That was it. Now they sat grim-faced.

Understandable, but the silence was beginning to grate on Emily's nerves. She was frustrated. How was Morgan really, that's what she wanted to know.

"How did he look?" Her whispered words sounded more like shouts to Emily's ears; she cringed, it was way too quiet in there.

Garcia recoiled, startled out of her reverie. And Reid visibly flinched.

Oops, Emily thought.

"Beat up," Reid answered bluntly.

Logically, she knew that would be the case, nonetheless she gasped out her surprise.

"But," Garcia hurried to say, waving her arms in front of her. "He totally looks like he's just taking a nap."

"Ok…" Emily said, letting out a long-suffering sigh. She may have stopped her fidgeting, but she was anxious as hell to get in there and lay her own eyes on Morgan. Only then would she be able to, not exactly relax, but at least breathe in a full breath.

With that miniscule amount of information, silence fell upon them once again. Emily was left to her thoughts, her feelings of dread and guilt. Man, she hated this. She just wanted to see him, wanted to see Morgan with his eyes wide open, wanted him to not have any permanent or lasting damage from the blows.

Wanted, wanted, wanted, she thought. Blowing out a breath, she began to pray. Please, God, I know I ask for a lot more than I deserve. But Derek Morgan—he's a good man! He's suffered too much in his life. Please make him ok. Not for me—ok, a little for me!—but for him! And… I… I promise, I'll volunteer in a soup kitchen once a month, and… and I'll donate to charity or… or sponsor a child! Please! I just can't lose him.

She realized her selfless plea to God veered towards the selfish; but, not even God could blame her, she believed. Who could live without him? Not her, that was for sure.

"Emily?"

The loud voice jarred her out of her thoughts. She looked around, startled. JJ was at her side. The mother of one placed a comforting hand on her upper arm. "Whoa, easy there," she said gently.

"You can go in if you like," Hotch, who stood before her, informed.

It took her a second to comprehend what he was saying. And then she nodded dumbly.

"Would you like one of us to go in with you?" JJ, again.

Did she? No, she wanted to see him alone. And she told them so. They gave her quick directions to Morgan's room and on shaky legs she stood.

Emily desperately wanted to see him. So, why did it take her a huge expenditure of energy to take that first step?

Scared. She answered her own question. I'm scared that with this first step things will never be the same.

Slowly, she made her way down the hall. She began to question her logic in going alone when on her way she had to stop and hold on to the wall for fear of falling over.

Still, she'd come this far. She couldn't stop now.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, but what was really a two minute walk even with all her stops, she'd arrived in front of room 1121 of the ICU. Morgan's room.

The door was closed, as were all the doors on the intensive care unit. These were the most vulnerable patients who needed careful monitoring and care. They needed to rest, sure. But Emily couldn't help wondering, what if these patients were exposed more to the sights and sounds of the life they were missing out on, wouldn't it be added incentive to heal?

And… what did she know? She wasn't a doctor or health care practitioner.

What she did know was that she was stalling.

She gulped down a deep fortifying breath as she pushed open the door. The sight before her had her instantly expelling that breath.

Emily had convinced herself that she'd been prepared for what she was about to see.

She wasn't.

Oh God, she wasn't.

A trembling hand went to press at her lips to stifle the shocked sobs that wanted to escape.

This wasn't Derek. It couldn't be. He wasn't this… lifeless.

"Quite a sight, isn't he?"

A small woman pushed past her, dragging her attention from the man who just couldn't be Derek Morgan.

Focusing on the woman, she was more than surprised to see that she recognized her. It was the same woman from earlier. Amarie. And by her next statement, it was clear she recognized Emily as well.

"Oh, it's you! So, this is the poor soul you've come to see. Well, don't just stand there, honey. Come in and say hello. I daresay he's been waiting for you for quite a while."

Emily looked at her sharply. She couldn't possibly know how true that statement was. She was sure; Derek hadn't even told their friends of his feelings. Still, Amarie returned her look with a shrewd one of her own.

She knew. Emily didn't know how. But she did.

"Well?" Amarie raised an eyebrow at her.

Emily, feeling as if she'd been thoroughly scolded, rushed inside despite her initial hesitation and need to run away.

The older woman was right. Derek was waiting. And Emily was done running.

She stepped up to Morgan's bedside and really looked at him. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the top of his head. A thick bandage was wrapped around his scalp, almost covering his eyes. It was a clear reminder of the major surgery he'd just been through. Hopefully, a life-saving, un-altering surgery, Emily prayed.

She made herself drag her eyes from that stark white bandage down to his face. He looked sallow in color and his face was covered in a series of scrapes and bruises. His lip was split. And she was sure the damage to his lovely face wasn't the end of it. But, underneath it all, it was still Morgan.

"I hear this young man is a hero," Amarie spoke up again. She was standing at the foot of Morgan's bed, his chart in hand. So, she was a nurse, Emily mused.

Writing away, she continued, "Are you family? Of course you're family. But what I want to know is why you stayed away from a good man like this one for so long?"

She shot a brief look at Morgan, thinking for a moment that he'd put the woman up to this. However, his eyes were firmly shut and only God knew when he'd wake.

Ignoring the fact that the woman knew details that she couldn't possibly know, and that she was so clearly overstepping boundaries, she considered her question carefully. Why had she waited so long?

The sound of throat clearing drew her back. Amarie was waiting.

Apparently, Amarie was as impatient as she was.

"I don't know…" she began uncomfortably. "I thought we wanted different things…"

"And now? What do you think?"

She'd changed her mind, hadn't she? Wasn't that what her promise to him was all about? A change of heart?

Derek carried her suitcase as he walked through the doors of the airport. Emily stood at the curb where the cab had dropped them, watching him precede her momentarily, feeling wistful.

She chalked it up to her leaving for London shortly, but deep down she knew the real reason.

It was only last night that Derek had revealed to her that he wanted to be with her. And true to form, she responded with what she did best. She pushed him away.

To Derek's credit, he didn't seem to let that sour his mood towards her. Going back inside Rossi's house, he'd proceeded to treat her the exact same. As if nothing had ever transpired between them. A moment forgotten. It confused the heck out of her.

Oh, come on, Emily, what's so confusing? He's respecting your wishes. You said you couldn't be with him… And so, he's backing off…

Yeah, I know, she answered herself sadly.

She wouldn't let herself dwell on why she was saddened by the fact that Derek was backing off.

"Emily?" Derek stood in the doorway of the airport, looking at her inquiringly.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she answered, "Coming." She moved to his side and they entered the bustling airport together.

They walked side by side silently, only exchanging a few navigational comments: This way. Over here. Etc.

Derek was treating her the same way he always had. But she sure didn't feel the same.

It was at that moment she suddenly realized that she had changed too.

And God did it terrify her.

"Derek!" she said urgently, stopping abruptly in the middle of the wide corridor. She dropped her carry-on to the ground.

He'd gone a few steps ahead of her and had to turn around and retrace his steps. It gave her time to formulate what she wanted to say.

But what did she want to say? Her mouth suddenly went paper dry.

It didn't help that his indifferent, but friendly look was now gone, replaced with one of burning hope. What had she done?

He closed the distance between them, dropping her small suitcase and, instead, taking hold of each of her hands in his own.

Morgan looked longingly into her eyes; she stood transfixed by all the emotions she'd seen the night before but hadn't allowed herself to really see. Respect. Trust. Loyalty. Lust. But the one she'd blinded herself to most of all: Love.

It wasn't that he just wanted to try out a relationship with her. He loved her. And the look on his face said it all; he wanted her by his side forever.

"I'll wait for you!" he blurted out, giving her hands a little shake. "For as long as it takes. I'm not going to take no for an answer, not again. But, I won't pressure you either. So, I'll wait silently if I have to. All you need to know is that my feelings for you will never go away. I'm yours, Emily. Take me or leave me. They won't change."

She needed to say something, to respond. All her words from the night before were on the tip of her tongue.

She took a deep breath to ready herself.

But she had changed.

"Good." One word, one syllable to change the rest of her life.

Morgan looked at her quizzically. "Good?" he repeated laughingly, out of obvious nervousness.

She smiled then; she noticed the tense lines ease a bit on his face—they'd been there since last night. How could she have thought he was going along like normal?

"Yes, good," she replied, giving his hands a reassuring squeeze. "I expect them to still be there when I come back for New Year's, so you can take me out on our first date."

His eyes lit up in wonder. Derek opened his mouth once, twice, and then, "Promise?"

"I promise," she assured.

He engulfed her in one of his famous big, bear hugs; she wasn't a small woman but when he hugged her like that, on the few occasions he'd done so, she felt like the most important, most cherished woman in the world.

They pulled apart slightly, arms around each other still. Emily felt she needed to say more.

"I care about you, Derek. You were right," she let him know. "I want the chance to find out just how much."

It wasn't a declaration of love; it was the truth, though. Emily wanted the chance for her feelings to blossom into love. As it were, she didn't think it would take much. She already loved him as a friend.

"You've got it, Emily," Derek said enthusiastically. "Like I said, I will wait for as long as it takes. Forever, even."

"Wow!" She shook with emotion. His words were pretty powerful.

He laughed nervously. Almost unheard of for him. But done twice in their short conversation. She had a powerful effect on him. "And… I should probably tone it down, shouldn't I? Before I scare you away."

She shook her head, laughing too. "It's ok. This is new for both of us."

"Yeah, it is…"

He watched her in awe and she watched him, in awe of him being in awe of her.

Why her? The thought crossed her mind several times already since yesterday. But she thought she might know why, now.

Because she was his best friend and he hers. They knew each other in a way no one else ever could or would.

"Uh… we should probably get going or you'll miss your flight."

Ah yes, her flight. Because even in this fairy-tale of a moment, life was still going on around them. And that fact frightened her.

"We can do this," he addressed her silent fear.

She nodded with conviction. They could; if they both wanted this—and they both did—they could make it work.

He smiled.

Each of them lifted a bag into a hand, leaving the hand between their side-by-side bodies conspicuously free.

As they began to walk towards Emily's gate, she took his hand in hers.

Change had to start somewhere.

"Dear?"

She jumped in the air. Looking around the room, she suddenly remembered where she was. And the beeping of machines reminded her why she was there.

"Are you all right?"

Amarie was at her side, looking up at her with concern and an underlying wisdom.

"I'm… fine, just remembering…"

She moved away, replacing the chart. "Memories are powerful things. They remind us of what and who is really important."

They sure did.

"Hold onto this one. Good men don't come around as often as we'd like."

She'd take the woman's advice whole-heartedly. It was time to make some important decisions in her fluid life. Some permanent ones. Starting with the huge decision to stop moving and stay put.

She pulled a chair to his bedside. Determined to sit there until Derek woke up or someone kicked her out. Whatever came first. All she knew was she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Hear that, Morgan, I'm not going anywhere," she said breathlessly; saying the words out loud made it feel so real.

Morgan didn't so much as twitch. But that was ok. She'd tell him again the minute he was awake.

Taking his bigger hand in hers, she held on for dear life.

Hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you think!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: Guest#1; RatherBeAWriter; Frenzy cmfan; Daisyangel; Guest#2; ddubgirl; Lexie4MP and Guest#3.

Thanks for reading!

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