*I do not own Jane and the Dragon or its characters
Most of these are a bit more sad. Hope you'll enjoy anyway
Save a Dance For Me
From my balcony, I spotted a puff of red hair dance about. Counting her steps, Jane timed her rhythm, in tune with every step. Jane danced around using barrel hoops, clearly taking into account the advice I gave her earlier. A smile crept it's way on my face, as I watched Jane twirling and spinning about, her hair bouncing with her every movement.
Then with a bow, Jane pretended the practice dummy were her dance partner. Jane talked to it, asking it's permission. A curious thing she was, and rather amusing, there never was a dull moment with her. Her foot placement and posture looked incorrect, but mostly I wished it were I dancing alongside her.
Walking into the yard, I cleared my voice "I see you have taken my advice to a different level hmm"
"Oh! Sir Theodore, yes... Well, I got carried away"
"Apparently so"
"What are we doing for today's lesson?"
I chuckled, taking a wooden sword in hand "You are a capable knight, I doubt there is anything else I can teach you"
"Not at all Sir Theodore, there's so much I still need to learn from you"
Not at all, it's you that taught me so much
Such a precious life, to be cherished, to be cared for, is all I wished I could have done. Though, being her mentor, I did my best to hide my emotions. But I couldn't stop myself from teasing her "Is that so? And what may that be?"
"I would like to know what I am doing wrong with my footwork"
Touching her waist, it felt it was so small that I was sure her ribs could break with a rough caress. Adjusting her posture, I said "Straighten your back, good posture is essential"
I felt as though I was dealing with fire, touch it and I'll get burned. Touching her shoulders, my heart began racing "Relax you're shoulders Jane"
"Then?"
Any closer, and I would have been able to steal her lips. It must have been the perfume that teased me, or the amount of cider I had been drinking as of late, but I longed to hold her close, to inhale that sweet breath of hers. Dangerous is a good way to put it, but I pushed away those thoughts, took her hand and said "Practice with me"
"By dancing?"
"It strengthens your balance and agility which you will need when your in combat"
It was purely an excuse, nonetheless, we danced, combining martial arts and sword fighting while only using one hand. Adapting to the situation, we sparred in a dance like fashion. Using her sword, she aimed for my ribs but missed. For a moment I had forgotten my authority, challenging her "If I were the enemy you would have been overtaken by now"
Her eyes confident, teased me. Near my ear, she said "No man can over power me, I would like to see you try"
Something about her confidence, made my heart burn, she made me feel more alive. I understood why Gunther was so enamored with her. Making me all the more glad I tricked him so that he may be away.
Taking misstep, she fell. I helped her up too eagerly, prolonging the grip I had on her waist. She looked forlorn as to have lost was difficult. Patting her head, I asked "What troubles you my knight?"
Looking up at me with watery emerald eyes, she looked troubled. A lock of hair dared to block her vision, making me want to brush it away. I clenched my fists, trying to justify my thoughts she's only your apprentice, that is all
"Sir is there something on my face?"
She's only your apprentice
Staring her down, I got lost in her eyes. As if I were drunk or drugged, she had my full attention "No"
"Then why do you stare so intently Sir? Is there a bug?"
"There is only..."
There is only me and you
Her face was only inches away, every moment more dangerous then the last. Her eyes widened "Sir Theodore?"
So lovely, for surely this is torture
Dragons voice snapped me back to reality "Jane its time for patrol"
Letting go, I cleared my voice, composing myself "Good job Jane. I see the practice is paying off. You almost had the hang of it"
She beamed a smile "You are very light on your feet Sir, this was most entertaining"
She hasn't the slightest idea what she's doing to me does she?
My breath shallowed, I had only enough breath to say "Keep practicing"
Mounting Dragon, she waved "Next time sir"
She's my apprentice, nothing more
I repeated those words in my head, until I almost believed them.
Unrequited
"When you were young, did you ever wonder what you would do with you life?"
"Everyday I suppose"
"What about now? Is there something you still dream of accomplishing?"
Looking at the wide eyed, redheaded Knight, he coughed and said "It is not that important Jane"
"Why not?"
"Something's are better left unknown"
"Please"
"I would have had a family of my own"
"It is not too late"
"The one I love is in a place I cannot reach"
"Is she alive?"
"Very much so"
"Then what happened?"
"She would never feel the same"
"Anyone would like you Sir"
"Not everyone"
"Sir?"
"Nevermind"
Changed Feelings
My growing feelings were maddening, intense and frightening. My thoughts were unclear, hard to understand and strange. I pulled the hair on my scalp to break my chain of thought, to change the focus of my senses, to find stable ground. It needed to stop, my thoughts needed to stop before I went mad.
If only I had not seen her that night, on the night of her knighting ceremony
As time went on, when we passed each other in the halls, Jane would be delighted to see me while I looked for an excuse to leave.
Or during her study sessions, she would come over asking questions while I wished she stop taunting me with her vivacious beauty. I kept my distance, only watching as she read my books, or when she shined my swords. At times I allowed myself a little indulgence, sitting next to her to explain battles that happened long ago. Or sometimes I would ask her to play chess to allow me to examine her closely. I knew our age difference would do her no good, I knew it shouldn't happen so I kept my thoughts to myself.
Sometimes we would spar with each other, to hone our latest fighting moves. It only took the lightest of touch from her arm or hand to paralyze me. I would excuse myself, not wanting my thoughts to become known. I hid from her, tried to ignore her, but she would always be near.
Since then, I found it difficult to concentrate, my mind plagued with thoughts of her. I immersed myself in study, drinking more then my fair share if cider. I sparred with Gunther to change my focus, but I my eyes or ears always managed to find her. I assumed the strong emotions I had were the result of spending a lifetime without a companion.
Every day is more troubling then the last. I could no longer show fairness between all the knights, making them work harder then they needed to keep them out of my sight. But no matter the chore, she found time to ask me all sorts of questions or to talk.
Sometimes, while patrolling the grounds, I would pass by the throne room and see someone was already there. With concentration, she would stare at my portrait. According to my understanding, she didn't know it was me. Uncommon, incomparable, unique, every aspect of Jane, her qualities as a woman, I longed for her kindness.
Throughout the years, she passed many trials, became stronger and accomplished her goal. For many years, I mentored Jane, being fond of her as though she are my own daughter. We spent many hours studying, working alongside each other, and fighting opponents together. I had the best of hopes for her, and I was proud how she had grown.
I thought she would be a child forever, but in a blink of an eye it all changed.
Goodbye
In the dim light of my candle, I looked in the mirror, noticing my hair had gotten too long. Interrupting her footwork practice, I asked "Can you cut my hair Jane?"
"Alright"
It should have been nothing, I should have felt nothing, but my admiration for Jane changed before I had time to breathe. When was it that she lost impertinent nature, when did her hair grows so long, when did she become so beautiful, I was not sure of any of it anymore.
By the time she found scissors, the sun had risen lighting up the room "Sorry I took so long, they were hidden"
Taking a seat near the window, I listened to her footsteps. I indulged a little when I had her cut my hair, savoring each breath, each moment. Her fingers ran through my hair, seeking long stands to cut "You have really nice hair for your age"
"Cut it as you see fit"
My hair fell on the floor, more free then my heart can allow. Her voice lightly hummed my favorite tune, tickled my ears. I listened intently, careful not to miss a note. The rhythm of the scissors was beautiful, a tune I badly wished would stop yet continue. Her perfume, was hypnotic, suffocating, teasing me each time she moved her hair. When it was all over, she asked "How was that Sir? Will you need anything else?"
She beamed a smile at me, waiting for my response. It really was a beautiful how the room seemed more full with her around. I quickly dismissed the thought, and thanked her "You have done well. You may go"
"Sir, is something the matter?"
And when she shows her concern, my mind runs wild
Looking away from her, I lied "I have things to do Jane, if you'll excuse me"
"Alright Sir, I'll be leaving then"
I glanced at the bottle of cider near my beside, thinking a drink would not hurt. I wanted to be numb, to make my maddening thoughts of her disappear. I drank one, two, then three bottles. As I reached for a fourth bottle a hand grasped my wrist "What are you doing to yourself Sir? I know that you have been drinking heavily as of late but it isn't good for you. Please stop this, I wish for you to be well. Promise you wont do this anymore, I care about you Sir. If there is anything I can help with then just say so"
"What do you know of my troubles?"
What do you know of my heart?
"We are comrades, we help one another"
I knew I was drunk, but I did not want to admit it "I am fine, just celebrating a new haircut"
Sitting me down, she took the bottle "Why? Does your heart ail you?"
"Most painfully it does"
"What do you need? Should I get Smithy?"
Her concern for me was breathtaking, I longed to tell her my sincere inclinations, but my mind yelled at me with a warning. I needed her to leave, to not worry about me. Handing her the bottle, I pulled her hand away "I promise, no more drinking"
"This is for your own good Sir Theodore"
"Thank you Jane, you have really made me proud"
"I'll let you rest then"
"Tell Smithy to come see me at once"
"Yes Sir"
A few minutes later the blacksmith came "You wanted to see me Sir?"
"I have found no reason to believe you are a gossip or contemptible person"
"Thank you Sir, is there something you needed?"
"How serious is my current condition?"
"Well, your heart beat has been irregular as of late, though I believe it best if you cut out drinking and heavy eating it should heal itself in time"
"Blacksmith, I am an old man, time is too much of a luxury to hope for. I do not believe I have time, I...I think there is more then just a irregular heart condition"
"What do you mean Sir?"
"What I am trying to say is, that if there was ever a cause for concern, it would be the fact that I have fallen in love with her terribly"
Joining me on my balcony, he said "You are speaking of Jane?"
"I have no idea what to do with myself, I cannot stop these plaguing thoughts of mine. Tell me, does it make me a perverse person? I did not mean to allow my thoughts to drift in such a manner. And for all these years it never was my intention to guide her, to mentor her, just to be given to me in marriage. I am her mentor, she is my apprentice, and I...I am no more then that."
"If I may speak freely, you are none of those things. If you are in love Sir why have you not told her?"
"It is not strange?"
"To fall in love? No. And with Jane of all people, it is almost impossible not to"
"No matter the numerous times I ran the scenario through my head, it would not work. I am too late, I was late before I even started. It seems it would only work in a ballad"
"You have to take it easy Sir or your heart might give up"
"I am well aware, so that is why I thought it best if I left"
"Should I prepare your horse?"
"No need, I'll do it myself"
"It was a pleasure to be under your care,"
"Likewise"
When he left, I began to pack away my possessions.
I touched my lips, wondering why I didn't seek a wife in my youth. At my age thoughts of love, affection, and warmth were the furthest thing from my mind. Yet, when I saw her, a wave of pleasant feeling coursed through me, making me forget my troubles. Never had I held a spark or had anyone ignite the fire of love, except when she was near.
It took most of the may to pack but when I did, I informed the king of my decision to leave. I couldn't face her anymore, it was just too painful. It was evening by the time I reached the stables. I had my last sack on hand, ready to get going. Holding the reigns of my horse, a warm voice called out to me "Sir Theodore you cannot leave"
"It's time for me to move on Jane"
"But what about the king and queen?"
"You, Gunther, and Sir Ivon will do alright without me"
"But comrades stick together to the end. There are still many things I don't know about you"
"They're better left unknown"
"Please Sir, what are we going to do without you?"
"Keep on living, goodbye Jane"
"Have I made you angry Sir? You haven't looked me in the eyes lately and you've been avoiding me"
"Jane, the fault is all mine"
"Then tell me why you're leaving? I'll do anything"
"Jane, you shouldn't say such things. You have no idea of what I've been going through!"
"Please tell me"
"It would be better not knowing, it will make matters worse"
Taking hold of his hand, she pleaded "Please don't go"
How have I come to this?
"Would you grant me permission for one request Jane?"
"Yes Sir, whatever you wish"
I cupped her face, staring into her large watery, emerald eyes "I'm sorry Jane. You've done nothing to anger me, you've only been yourself, and it bothers me. I think so dearly of you that it makes it difficult to be around you. I feel like I'm suffocating when I'm around you. You intoxicate me, with your presence. You're lovelier then all the diamonds and gold in a greedy man's purse. I've become greedy Jane, I have become selfish, there is something I want but I know I cannot have. Do you know what you have done to me? If ballads and words create harmony that cannot be defined by our interpretation, then you search for its source. You changed me Jane"
"Sir you're too kind, I don't deserve such praise"
Letting go of her face, I walk around behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist "What is going on Sir Theodore? You're acting peculiar"
"My dear, it isn't praise, it's honesty. Is there someone you are fond of? I can tell you for a fact that I have never met anyone like you, and I doubt I ever will. If I had another lifetime, I would spend it trying to catch up to you."
"Do you... Do you harbor feelings for me?"
"If I swam in a sea of stars, I would always be searching for the fire in your eyes. If foolish things like a hearts inclination gave way to truth, I fear that you would run the other way. Song birds are not a melodious thing as long as you live, breathe, and speak. You grew up to fast Jane, I did not even get to breathe yet you took my breath away. I have given you no reason to find me appealing, even for my own sake."
"Sir Theodore"
"Call me Theodore"
"Theodore.. I...I...I do not understand"
"Like I said, you have done nothing but be honest to yourself. I do not blame you, the fault is all mine. I could not help myself, you were always there no matter what I did. You are so beautiful Jane, I would gladly become a slave or a servant if it meant gaining your favor. I treasure you, I care for you Jane, more than all my swords, words, and life."
"I have never heard such kind words"
Giving her a tight squeeze, I confess "I love you Jane, I hope one day someone will prove to deserve you."
"What?"
Letting go of her, I said regretfully "I cannot let my love for you restrain you. My age proves to be my downfall. I see in you the potential to be the greatest knight that ever lived, I love you Jane, more then you will ever know"
Passing my fingers over her lips, their warm and plump. Her eyes gave way to tears "Why?" she asked
"How is it that I become weak when I am with you? You are so sweet that I am afraid of my heart rotting away. But I am willing for my heart to stop, if it meant I could love you for a moment"
"What is your request Sir?"
"To love you for a moment"
Closing the distance between us, I kissed her, showing how I sincerely felt. Words could not describe the magnitude of how much I longed that she felt the same. I doubted she knew of anything of romance or of kissing, but I acted in accordance to her naivete. Her tears wet my cheeks, causing me to start to cry. Parting from her, she still cried "Why are you crying my dear?"
"I...I don't know, it just seems natural"
Wiping away her tears, I smiled "Do not waste your tears in an old man, I do not deserve them"
"Why are you crying Theodore?"
"I am so happy and forlorn, I must have gone mad"
"I will not let you leave"
Handing her a gift. "I want you to keep it, it was given to me by the prince of Persia."
Removing the wrapping, it revealed a golden falcon brooch "This is too precious, I cannot take this"
Covering her hands, I said "There is so much I wish I could have done, but I hope you will accept this. I need to go Jane"
"If you love me, then why did you not say so? We could have talked this out"
"If I cannot have you, then I will not stay around to see who will. I am not as merciful as you think I am "
"Sir please, I want you to stay. There is so much I need to learn from you"
"My heart is not strong enough to face this trial Jane, I cannot bare these maddening feelings of mine if you are around"
"I love you Sir, you have been like a father to me. I have the greatest respect for you, and I do wish that I could help you be happy. I did not know I brought you such torment. If I was older, I would have gladly taken you as my husband. In a different time or place, I am sure I could, but what you ask I cannot give"
"Then let me go"
"Will I ever see you again?"
"That is an answer you know I cannot give"
"If you leave I'll hate you, I'll hate you so much"
"I would prefer if you forget what it was that was so good about me"
"Why?"
Patting her head, I smiled "Because I am happiest when you are happy. I will never forget you Jane"
I didn't look back, for I knew my heart would waver.
I because being around her was too painful, it was the last act of kindness I could give. Iowed it to her, it owed it too my genuine love for her that she needed freedom, not ridicule. I had to save her from myself because I no longer thought I could treat her fairly. I rode off in the night, with one place in mind. It was not long till I reached Dragons cave. He woke with a casual yawn "Whatcha doing here Theo? Did you bring me that carrot cake?"
"I have come to say goodbye"
"Huh? Where are you going?"
"Somewhere that is far away from here"
"Does this have anything to do with Jane? Does she know?"
"No, it is about me"
"Why did you not tell her you love her?"
"I did, but I let her go"
"Why was she not good enough?"
"No, I was not good enough. I am too old Dragon, no matter how much I wish it to be so, I cannot make her love me"
"So what do you want from me?"
"I need you to destroy me"
"Why?"
"Because I hurt Jane"
"You what? How dare you! I always knew you were a big pain in the scales"
"I want you to destroy me"
"And Jane? What about her?"
"Never tell her"
"Just so you know Theo, I know you did not mean to. I forgive you Theo, because I heard what really happened"
"I can never go back"
"I know Theo, I know. Close your eyes, it will only hurt for a second"
Feeling the heat of his flame, I opened my eyes. The last thing I saw was his flame and then everything went dark.
Let me not how you feel about this drabbles, hopefully you liked at least one of them.