Chapter 5: The Very Impatient Patient

Disclaimer: Diana Gabaldon owns the rights to Outlander

The men had their fun at my expense, and I couldn't care less. Let them laugh. I waited until they exited the room, then I went back to see about my lump-headed husband. "Can I get you something for the pain?"

"Is no that painful."

I watched, incredulous as he tried to sit up halfway. The color drained from his face, and beads of sweat broke out on his forehead. Closing his eyes, he flopped back onto the pillow.

"Don't give me that codswallop, Jamie Fraser."

"There ye go agin with those verra peculiar words. Doesna mean somethin' filthy, does it?"

"No … and don't change the subject. Your buddies are all gone, so you don't have to put up a brave front. Now, are you going to take something for that bump on your head or not?"

"Will it make ye happy if I do?"

"Yes!"

"Ye ken, I'm only takin' the medicine to see ye happy, lass."

I retrieved my medicine container from the table, and removed a bottle of thebaic tincture. With a small spoon that was included in the kit, I poured out the liquid. Lifting his head up gently, I offered it to Jamie, who took it readily, then I pulled up the chair to his bedside.

"Why are ye sittin' there like that, Sassenach?"

"I'm watching you to see that the tincture helps. Sometimes people are allergic to it."

His brow furrowed. "Allergic?"

"You know … how people sneeze when they're around hay, or get red, itchy blotches from sitting in the grass … that kind of thing."

"Ah, I see."

I took his wrist in one hand and pressed two fingers on the other to his pulse. I explained, "That little throb in your wrist is your heartbeat. It tells me how well you're feeling."

"D'ye mean to say that ye can know for certain how healthy I am, just by puttin' yer fingers to my wrist?"

"That's what I'm saying. Now, close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll stay here for a little while longer to make sure you're going to be all right."

His eyelids began to droop about twenty minutes later, the drug weaving its magic. I left him to lay out my bedroll in the other room. I had just snuggled down to sleep, when I heard Jamie whisper, "Claire?" Then, a little louder, "Claire?"

I got up and went to him to see what he needed. "Ah … there's mo nighean donn. Are ye no comin' to bed?"

"I was just in my bed when you called for me."

"I don't think ye ken my meanin'."

"I do; loud and clear. And my answer is no."

"But ye've been talkin' to me, so I thought …"

"You thought wrong, Jamie. I was only acting as your nurse. I'd do the same for anyone."

His face crumpled. "Ye'll ne'r let me touch ye ever agin, then?"

"No. I'm going back to sleep now. You should do the same."

I woke with a start early the next morning when I heard a rustling of the bedding in the other room. I slipped into my shoes, not bothering to tie them and dashed through the doorway to find Jamie attempting to get out of bed.

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

"'Tis been nigh on eight hours since I last took me a piss. My belly canna hold my water for much longer."

"Well, then let me help you."

"I'll no let ye help me for takin' a damn piss. Been doin' it on my own since I was a wee bairn."

"Don't be an idiot. You may get dizzy if you get up too fast or too soon."

He waved me back. "I said, get outta my way, woman."

Jamie shot out of the bed, and stood up, only to blanch as white as a sheet. He swayed precariously, ready to slump into a heap. Stepping forward, I tried to brace him to prevent the inevitable fall. A gasp escaped me, as stumbling backwards, he plopped onto the mattress with me atop him.

His hands were immediately around my waist as I struggled to get up. I brushed them away. "Don't …"

I pushed myself up, my palms against the mattress. It was just enough to glimpse the pained expression on his face. I closed my eyes to shut out the view.

Anxious to remove myself from this ludicrous predicament, I scrambled off of him, and raced out the door, yelling to any of the men who were awake. "Jamie needs help in there!"

The cheerful demeanor of my Scotsman was replaced with a gloomy one. If it was possible, he seemed even quieter and introspective than the last two weeks. I'd been dosing him regularly with the narcotic tincture, and wondered if that contributed to his state of mind. Unfortunately for me, Dougal apparently took notice.

The next evening, Jamie had recovered his land legs, and refused any more medicine. I had him sitting in a chair, facing away from me so I could examine his injury. I unwound the bandage from his head, and the laceration seemed to be healing nicely. I was able to leave the poultice off, and instead, smoothed some of the leftover balm that Lorna had given me. He never said a word, until I finished, and then nodding at me, and in a low voice, muttered, "Thank ye, Claire."

I was out walking one afternoon, two days later, to dispel some of the bloody monotony, when the warchief came upon me. He was in my face immediately, with an ugly sneer on his lips. "I see ye've no changed yer attitude toward the lad. I warned ye, but ye took no care to consider it, Sassenach. And now, ye've forced me to keep my promise to ye … heartless wench."

He reached for his belt buckle, as I backed up; my head rotating like the lamp in a lighthouse, searching for an escape route. I spotted someone, possibly Murtagh, in the distance running to the stable. Did he see us?

I turned to my left, and Dougal immediately corrected for it, blocking me. I stepped to the right, and fared the same. It was no use. He knew he had me; I couldn't get away. I tried to make a run for it, but he spun me around and pushed me ahead of him, backing me into a wattle fence.

It was fruitless to scream for help. No one would hear me, and I doubted if anyone would dare to pit themselves against the murderous thug. He was their unopposed leader.

There was no space between us now; the warchief had me pinned to the rail. My breath was coming in short gasps; my heart thrumming like a bird. This was a nightmare. I'd gone through a whipping once already, and Dougal appeared to be doubly capable of applying the strap.

He unbuckled his belt, and grasping it, shook it in his hand, in a menacing manner. "Now, where d'ye want the strokes, lassie, on yer hind end or yer face … makes no difference to me."

I scowled bravely. "Big man … is that how you get your warriors to follow you … beating them into submission?"

"Ye've a sharp tongue on ye. But ye'll be whimperin' for mercy soon enough."

Dougal swung the belt at me, hitting my shoulder. "Turn yerself around, if ye wanna keep that pretty face."

Closing my eyes, I pivoted toward the fence, but all at once heard footsteps, and a voice saying, "I'll thank ye to leave off. That's my woman ye're about to lay that strap to, and I willna be takin' too kindly to it. I mean ye no disrespect, Dougal, but I told ye I would see to the problem at hand myself. Now, if ye please, we'll be on our way."

Dougal waved a finger at Jamie. "Ye're too easy on the wench, laddie. Ye've got yer heart where yer brain should be."

"Aye, true as that may be, I like it that way."

He put out his hand. "Come wi' me, Claire. We'll go op to the house together."

I didn't dare refuse him now, in fear that Dougal would challenge Jamie. The rumor was that he wanted Jamie out of the way, so he could step into the position of Laird of Leoch after the day of Colum's death. I wouldn't put it past him if he hurried that day along. I'd have to keep a close eye on my herbs and tinctures. With everyone's suspicions, I'd be the one held responsible.

Taking his hand gratefully, I felt his grip strong and sure. We strolled off to the house, never looking back. I only hoped that this incident wouldn't stir up any more animosity between the two of them.

Jamie glanced at me, as he walked, breathing heavily. "If he'd laid that strap on ye, I swear to god, I would've drawn my sword, and it would take all o' the clan to stop me."

I halted, midstep, and peering at Jamie, said, "What will he do to you for challenging his authority?"

"He canna do anathin'; Murtagh was a witness. He'd havta kill us all to quiet our tongues. Leastways, I was only protectin' the honor o' my woman."

There was no sense in escalating the war between Jamie and Dougal, so I didn't correct his assumption that Dougal's belt never touched me. If he found out that I had in fact been lashed once, no telling what would have occurred.

"You did protect my honor, Jamie. Thank you. From now on, I'll not venture out alone. It seems I'm surrounded on all sides by enemies—the Scots and the English both hate me."

"Not all the Scots," he muttered.

An awkward silence descended, until I inquired, "How's your head feeling? Any aching or dizziness?"

"No. Ye did a right fine job o' pluggin' op the leak, and it doesna hurt anamore."

I smiled and nodded. "Good, I'm glad."

He appeared stunned. "Truly?"

"Well, of course. I didn't wish you to be in any pain."

The light in his eyes was suddenly extinguished, and his hand released mine.

How many more times would Jamie put his life on the line for me. More and more, I was beginning to regret my behavior toward him, but how could I possibly back down now? He'd never believe me ever again when I threatened to do … whatever.

I gazed at Jamie for a full minute, and my heart softened. The occasion that initially fueled my grudge was rapidly fading to a distant memory.

Jamie escorted me to our room, and I swallowed nervously. What could I say to him to patch things between us? It soon became a moot point as Jamie remarked, "I must leave ye now. Angus and I are on watch for redcoat patrols, ye ken."

Sighing, I glanced at the floor. "Always on the lookout, I suppose."

"Aye, we canna allow them to find this place with us traipsin' about."

At the crack of dawn the following day, there was a commotion out in the main room, and a fist thumping against my door. "Get yer belongins t'gether, and be quick about it if ye dinna wanta meet op with Randall agin. They're just a few miles down the road."

Dougal spit out orders to douse the fires, and pick up any traces of our sojourn here. Jamie raced into the room, and scooped up his weapons and my medical kit, taking them out to secure them on the horses. I'd never seen men move so fast and efficiently in my life.

Once again, we were on the road to who knows where. This time, we rode for more than twelve hours, stopping only to eat a bit, and to relieve ourselves. Bone-tired, I was ecstatic when Dougal finally reined his horse in, and declared we'd set up camp for the night.

As promised, for the sake of appearances—even though Dougal knew otherwise—I spread out the hides for Jamie and me, keeping our two blankets separate.

After eating, I lay down with Jamie beside me, and fell asleep almost instantly. Sometime during the night, I awoke to find him gone. Now what?