Life Changes (Hope Springs Eternal)

by secwaters

The third of my stories about the Swallows, Amazons, Ds and Eels as adults - this one is set in the 1980s. Once again to make sense of some of the story it helps to have read my previous two! (Rated T as it is really for adult readers who are familiar with all the S & A books.) I've given this a new title as the original has been used here - apologies!

23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER XXIII

DAISY WORRIES

As the three boats sailed back down the lake to Beckfoot Daisy, in the Amazon with Nancy, thought about Ruth.

In the early days of their relationship she always called her Ruth, even in front of the others once she'd got to know them, she never liked 'Nancy' and when she found out she was actually named 'Ruth' she had been determined to always call her that. But as the years went on and as everyone else called her Nancy, even her mother, it became harder and harder to stick to Ruth, so she eventually gave up and only used the name just for intimate and private moments between the two of them.

She had great sympathy for Dot, having to keep her love hidden and then to have it thwarted for all those years while Timothy was trapped in his marriage, it had been painful enough for her and Ruth, particularly during the war. Ruth had always worried about telling all the others, and in the end she had to force her to tell them, following her to the cottage in Wales and confronting her, while John, Titty, and Peggy were looking on in opened mouthed surprise. But of course they had all understood and supported them both, even poor Roger when he was told seemed to understand.

What worried her now was Ruth's reaction to Dot's news. Dick and John had been predictable, one, as she suspected, was logical about it and one was moral, the reactions of the other women were as she expected too, but Ruth?

She knew from her own experiences how difficult it had been for Ruth to accept and live with her sexuality, how hard it had been to show her feelings, but had Dot been Ruth's first? It didn't matter, not at all, but her protectiveness towards Dot made her wonder, did Ruth once have such feelings for Dot?

It was obvious to her that Dot would not have shared them, the directions her emotions and feelings lay were easy for anyone to see. But a married man? Why not? People marry and make mistakes, so why not single people making other mistakes? Except Dot had not made a mistake, and from his grave Timothy was trying to compensate her for his shortcomings.

What could she do with the money?

She and Ruth could use it, but of course they couldn't. None of them could, it would be greedy and selfish for any of them to say 'yes, I'll have it.'