CHRISTINA
WHEN I WALK into the office, Zeke and Amar are already there. The look on their faces is one I haven't seen in awhile: happiness.
"Are you guys ready?"
Zeke jumps down from the table he was perched on and joins me by the door.
"We've been looking forward to this day since you invited us to come with you," he says.
"So last week," adds Amar, before crossing the room, a smile on his face.
Both of them wear dark uniforms, tight-fitting so as not to restrict movement, and padded in vital areas, like over the heart and stomach. The sleeves stop at their shoulders, revealing the tattoos along their arms. Across their chests are straps that hold the long guns slung across their backs. Zeke wears this giddy smile that looks like he can't wait to travel into the fringe, which is filled with bloodthirsty GD rebels, looking for any city or Bureau victim to sacrifice in hopes that we'll retaliate and start the war they've always wanted.
It's the smile of anticipation and adrenaline from danger.
A smile that is in every way like the one Uriah wore.
My chest tightens.
But I push the thought aside because I know there is nothing I can do for Uriah now except live how he would have wanted us to live.
Dauntless style.
Behind me, I hear the door shut and turn to see Tobias walking in, a blank look on his face. He must have had another dream about her…
"Hey, Best Friend," I say in an effort to break his mood, and sling my arm over his shoulder. He's a bit taller than me, though, so I can only get my arm about halfway up before it sticks awkwardly out from behind his neck, not quite long enough to reach his opposite shoulder.
"She did not just…" Zeke gasps, his mouth dropping in mock surprise. "But I thought we were best friends!"
He gives a hurt look to Tobias who says, "Don't worry, you can have my other shoulder."
He flashes a grin at me and I punch him in the arm, scowling.
"Come on, or the city transfers will have to walk here."
I lead the way out of the office and down the stairs until we reach a tall, silver door, locked with a passcode. I punch in the seven-digit code and step back. As the door rises, I hear a low whistle behind me.
"We're taking that?" asks Zeke in disbelief.
The black vehicle is sleek and square. The windows on either side are tinted and a chrome edging lines the top. Four massive tires sit under the car, giving the impression of a jungle cat ready to spring. Engraved along the driver's side door is a cursive word in gold.
Panther.
"Watch this," I say, taking a remote out of my pocket. I press the green button marked with a 'T' and watch as the boys look like they are going to faint on the spot. The tires move out and turn facedown, transforming from within into elongated legs that raise the Panther twenty feet above the ground.
"How do you expect me to get in it now?" questions Amar. His eyes are stretched wide.
"Why did you do that?" Tobias asks breathlessly.
"We'll need to cross the river to get out of the city, now."
"Is there not a bridge or anything?" says Zeke, his eyebrows raised at me like I hadn't already thought of the idea.
"Of course," I answer. I glance at him over my shoulder and smile mischievously. "But that's not as fun."
I grab a gun off the rack by the door and toss it to Tobias. He flinches, but catches it.
"Not quite as smooth as you used to be, huh Mr. Politician?" I joke.
He looks uncomfortable, but says nothing. I grab a gun for myself and lower the Panther back to the ground. We pile in, Tobias and I in front, and Zeke and Amar in back. On the control panel, there is a button to open the back door. As the door rises, sunlight streams in and reflects off the chrome lining.
"Ah, geez," says Zeke, putting his hand up to shield his eyes.
"Better get used to it; there's going to be a lot of it where we're going."
With that, I slam my foot on the accelerator. My head jerks back and I let out a whoop of laughter. It's been so long since I've enjoyed myself like this.
Too long.
Within minutes, we've reached the river and I pause before transforming the vehicle to cross.
I turn to Tobias. "Are you ready for this?"
He just looks forward and nods his head. I can see that his jaw is clenched.
I press the green button again, and the Panther transforms; it's a smooth ride to the top.
"No way," says Zeke in dismay. "I can see my house from here!"
He presses his face against the glass and stares out across the city. "Hey Christina, I think I see your mom—whoa!"
His "I Spy" game is cut short as I drive the car into the river. Zeke's forehead slams into the window and out of the corner of my eye, I can see Tobias crack a smile, but as we take the second step, his composure hardens and he tightens his grip on the armrest. This is the first time that I've driven this into the river. In fact, it's the first time I've driven one at all…
After the first unsteady steps, I begin to get the hang of it. The mud sucks the metal feet into the bottom of the river, but the strength behind the machine pulls them back out. I figure out that if I maneuver one leg forward while trying to unstick the other one, the journey across becomes much easier. However, it's still a bumpy ride.
"Are you sure," says Amar through gritted teeth, "that you know exactly…what you are doing?"
"I don't think you want me to answer that."
I hear a low groan and I can't be sure if it comes from Amar or Tobias.
After what seems like hours, but in reality is only a few minutes, we come out of the water on the opposite bank.
After a moment, Zeke lets out a hysterical laugh and says "Guys, that was so much fun! I'm totally up for doing—Amar? Are you feeling alright?"
I look in the back seat and see that his face is a yellowish green.
"Down, maybe?" he croaks.
"Hey, no puking on the seats. I'm only renting this," I say.
"I didn't know you were afraid of heights, too, Amar," jokes Zeke.
"I'm not. Motion sickness," he moans in response.
"You're afraid of motion sickness?" I can hear the teasing tone in Zeke's voice.
Despite Amar's obvious queasiness, he manages to land a solid punch to Zeke's arm that shuts him up for the ride down.
As we drive the rest of the way to the gate, the car is oddly silent. We enjoy the view as we drive past rows of corn and wheat fields, people wearing Amity red, as well as Erudite blue, Candor white and Abnegation gray. There are greens and purples and oranges among the colors as well, although I don't spot many with the Dauntless black. Then again, I wouldn't be too keen on wearing black either in this heat. The farmers stop to wave at us and we wave back, although I know they can't see us through the tinted windows.
I love this world.
It's certainly different: there aren't any definite rules or tests that tell you who you're supposed to be, or special families created by the bond that comes with going through the same initiation, facing the same difficulties and having the same talents. But it is a world where none of that matters, where everyone is a family and bonds are created because of differences and experiences and love.
A world where I can finally figure out who I am.
We're passing a series of small buildings in the middle of the farm district when Tobias asks if we can stop for a moment. I pull the car over and he gets out.
I notice that he leaves his gun on the seat.
He approaches a group of people and says something. A tall woman with curly black hair and dark skin turns towards him. Her eyes are dark, but her smile is kind.
Evelyn.
Tobias greets her with a hug. She laughs at something he says and then gestures at someone in the group. He shakes the man's hand and gives his mother another hug before heading back to the car. When he gets in, I can tell that some of the stress from the ride has eased and he seems to have at least momentarily forgotten whatever was bothering him this morning.
"Who was that man?" I ask as we continue on down the road. "The one with the dark hair and blue shirt?"
"Abraham Stellos, Director of the Farming Corporation."
The name sounds familiar to me, but I can't recall where I've heard it before.
"Hey, wasn't he on Jack Kang's support staff? Back before all this," Zeke gestures to the land outside, "happened?"
"Yeah."
Of course, that's why the name sounds familiar. He's from my ex-faction. Or rather my ex-ex-faction.
We reach the gate an hour and a half later and drive straight through. There are no guards blocking the gate anymore, preventing people from going in or out, just protectors of the city, making sure no GD rebels try to blow up the fence or anything.
It's almost dusk and Zeke is snoring in the back. I guess the day's earlier adventures were too much for him. Amar is listening to music, his headphones in, and Tobias is staring out the window.
"It's amazing, isn't it?" I break the silence.
Outside the windows, vast stretches of broken buildings cover the land as far as I can see, but years of abandonment have allowed vines and wildflowers to grow, turning the ruins into a sort of beautiful graveyard. They are the memories of what was good and the chaos that destroyed it, and then the hope that grows, seeking to put the past behind us and start anew.
"The evening was her favorite time of day. She said that it was the time of day when any mistakes could still be mended, yet you could see the adventures of tomorrow."
I can see why. As the sun sinks into the horizon, it touches all the petals and illuminates every sand crystal blown up into the crevices of fallen pillars and crumpled mailboxes. The wasteland is held briefly in a golden grasp before the night falls and dark skies push the warm glow out of sight.
We fall into silence again.
It's still a few hours until we reach our stop for the night. The pick-up points become farther and farter away as those deeper in the fringe learn about the city, because those who live close by have already been transferred. I replay the events from earlier in my head. The crossing of the river, Amar's motion sickness, Zeke's optimistic attitude, Tobias' meeting with Evelyn. And Abraham Stellos. I remember Zeke mentioning how he was on Jack's support staff.
Yet the name pricks at the back of my mind and as the night deepens, I can't shake the nagging feeling in my stomach.