Breathe
Spying on an NSA agent like Harris Wilson is hardly as exciting as it sounds. However, thanks to Auggie's friend Roger, the intel suggests that the second life this man leads is far more interesting than the domestic existence Annie's been privy to this morning outside his house in cozy, mundane DC suburbia. A life that includes, but is not limited to, selling United States secrets to men like Borz Altan.
The mud keeps getting deeper. Would she drown before she found the answer? Sometimes it felt that way.
The coffee Annie's drinking is cold, but it's early and she's slept like shit the past few nights and right now it's the only thing that's keeping her awake. There's nothing quite like visions of exploding bombs and Borz's dead body dancing in your head to deprive you of sleep, amongst other things. As well as she might hide it, anxiety is her constant companion. Annie's tried to follow the trail of dead bodies, broken relationships and bad decisions back to where it all started, but she's yet to find the answer.
She isn't expecting the phone call when it comes. The sound makes her flinch. She's almost surprised when she reads the caller id, but then again...
She struggles not to smile as she lifts the phone to her ear.
"Hello Mr. McQuaid."
"Did you get my gift?"
The smile wins.
"It's not everyday a man gives me a gun." Annie admits, keeping her eyes trained on Harris' house.
"Guns or roses, I hope I made that right choice - and may you never have to use it."
McQuaid wastes no time in jumping straight into his usual humor.
"I better stay away from you then."
Part of her is joking. The other part isn't.
"Well, that's actually why I'm calling. Seeing as we had such a wild time in Venezuela, I was thinking maybe we should do something a little more urbane."
"What's that?" Feigned interest coupled with genuine girlish curiosity makes for a dangerous combination.
"I was hoping you would accompany me to an awards dinner tonight."
For a moment her heart catches in her throat, but this time it's not because she's sick.
"I can't." She deadpans.
"Well is that because you still don't trust me, or is it because you don't have anything nice to wear?" McQuaid teases.
"You still haven't told me about the hour you spent with Borz Altan in Maracaibo."
Annie's attitude changes quickly as the topic becomes more personal. It has nothing to do with fancy clothes - she's certain her collection of footwear and designer dresses she's acquired over the years could play the part. It's his first guess that couldn't have been more right.
How is she supposed to trust him when he can't trust her?
"Is that a no?"
He seems to think the idea that she could refuse him is preposterous, judging by his tone of voice. But he's far from giving up, and instead fishes for another answer, as he often does. Annie's starting to find that no isn't something Ryan McQuaid is accustomed to.
She changes tactics and changes topics.
"I can't believe you're inviting me to a black tie dinner the night of."
"I didn't even know I was going to be in DC until a few hours ago. And obviously it's last minute. But I couldn't pass up the chance to see you... and I do want to see you."
She can't do this. Not right now. So, in typical Annie Walker fashion, she shuts down.
"I'm working."
"What are you working on?"
Before McQuaid can interrogate her further in an attempt to sway her decision, Annie's saved by the proverbial bell. Harris steps out of his house just as she's about to have to answer the man on the other end of the phone with a real explanation. Her eyes lock onto her suspect - a predator eyeing its prey, and she immediately refocuses on the task at hand.
Annie Walker is nothing if not committed to her job. And because she is who she is, because she's learned how lock herself in and lock people out, it takes almost nothing for her to hang up the phone.
Almost.
She leaves Ryan with a fleeting farewell. It's more then she gives most anyone else.
"Thanks for the gun."
Of all the things that could happen while tailing Harris, Annie never thought it would be this.
When it happens, the first few milliseconds before the world explodes are the longest of her life. You see what's about to happen, but you're entirely powerless to stop it.
Then, as if shuttled into some vicious time vortex, there's nothing but a crashing roar and the scream of locked tires and shattered glass. There's the sickening sensation of her head snapping back. It's an erratic, racing heart coupled with blaring sirens and too bright lights. It's the gaping, empty void between the woman existing outside herself and the body strapped to the gurney in the back of an ambulance.
There's blood on her forehead, a brace on her neck. Hands are strapping an oxygen mask to her face.
Is she dying?
It feels familiar in the worst possible way.
A ghost of a voice echoes nearby, almost too faint to hear.
"We're all spinning plates. One's bound to drop from time to time."
Fate is a cruel thing.
When Auggie rounds the corner into her hospital room, her spirits are lifted immediately. He's always had a knack for showing up right when she needed him most, so his timing couldn't have been better. He looks severely out of place in his tuxedo, but being out of place was never something that bothered August Anderson before, and it certainly doesn't now.
And now that Auggie is here, she can breath a little easier. Evading the emergency room doctor was an easy enough task, and despite her killer head ache and supposed concussion she's suffering from (she's had much worse), Annie's sure she's home free.
"How'd you know I was here?"
Until she realizes she isn't.
"I'm your handler I get notified in situations like this, you know that. You sure you're ok?"
Panic all but combusts her where she stands.
"Yeah. Does Langley know I'm here?"
She already knows the answer.
"You've been hiding something ever since you got back, now I want the truth."
It's been said the truth can set you free, but for Annie Walker it feels like the opposite. She's fought to keep it under lock and key from the CIA, because her secret would end her. Her worst fear was a desk assignment in the endless labyrinth of analysts and linguist at Langley, a place where she would never see the light of day ever again so long as Joan Campbell had her way once she realized Annie had broken the rules - again. The agency wouldn't care about her accomplishments, they wouldn't care that she was this close to solving Chicago. They'd only care that she was broken, expendable - a liability.
Auggie stands there, waiting for an answer, waiting for Annie (his friend), not Walker (his operative), to finally close the gap that's grown steadily between them ever sine she's been back. In a different world this would have been easy, but here they are, after everything, and Annie doesn't recognize either of the people they've become because of it. She doesn't know how to fix this, them, and how is she supposed to when she can't even fix herself?
"I don't know where to start." She breathes out and clenches her jaw. She wipes the dampness from her eyes and ignores the sting.
Auggie's hands are folded on top of his cane, his brow furrowed, eyes pensive, and his usual words of wisdom and comfort glaringly absent. The silence is suffocating and Annie begins to fear that he won't say anything at all; that they really were more irreparable than she previously led herself to believe.
"Stories are generally easier to tell if you start at the beginning." Auggie replies gently. "Walk with me?"
Annie knows that she has to tell him everything.
She feels like a bird who's agreed to break her own wings.
AN: Wooooohoooo, it's been a while folks! Finally life has gotten to where I have a little bit of time to write, so I managed to pump this out. I'm so excited the season has started back up, and I'm continuing to enjoy it. Hopefully I can start playing catch up now that I have some motivation. 512 was awesome, I hope y'all liked it too! Here are some Annie thoughts from Silence Kit (504). I try to get inside her head, and delve into stuff we don't really "see" on the show, as I've said before. We'll rotate between McQuaid and her, as I've done in the past. So he's next! I hope you like it! xoxo