Even though she was expecting it…indeed perhaps because she was…the knock on the door made Laura jump. She was sitting curled up on the sofa, her notepad on her knee, drafting the initial paragraphs of an article on one of her recent cases and the early identification of glomerulonephritis. It was something she'd been meaning to start for a few weeks, and now that she'd cleaned the house, reorganised her kitchen drawers and tidied the living room, there really wasn't anything left to procrastinate with. She'd elected not to open any wine, which was usually her preferred route into academic writing...no, she wanted a clear head for when Robbie arrived. He was late, and although she was neither annoyed or worried about his delay, she kept finding herself glancing up at the clock. When the knock came, at quarter to ten, it startled her.

As she made her way to the door she flicked on the hall light and pulled her gown around her, tying it tightly. The key was in the lock, and just for a second before she turned it, she couldn't resist looking at him through the peephole. He looked tired, he was still in his suit…but he was smiling broadly. She felt the blood thumping in her ears, as her heart began to race, and instantly scolded herself for behaving like a teenager. She opened the door carefully, and stepped back to welcome him in.

"Sorry I'm late…"

She shook her head, dismissing his apology, stepping back,

"You're not. Everything ok at work?"

He followed her into the house, and as she closed the door behind her, he draped his suit jacket over the banister,

"Everything's fine. Good actually…I think we're nearly there"

She nodded, her hand reaching out to his upper arm, squeezing gently,

"Good"

He smiled back, and, sensing her slight awkwardness, held out his arms,

"Come 'ere you…"

She stepped forward and his arms wrapping tightly around her as she nuzzled into his chest. Suddenly, she felt calm, balance restored. His hand was stroking her hair.

"I'll still have to head out early tomorrow…"

She mumbled against his shirt that it didn't matter.

"…but I can't say you're not a sight for sore eyes"

She smiled, and pulled back slightly to look up at him.

"What…?"

She grinned, a mischievous sparkle in her eye, and shook her head,

"Nothing…I just missed you so much and that idea still slightly amuses me"

He grinned back, carefully brushing her fringe away from her eyes, knowing exactly what she meant. It was still strange. Good, but strange.

"Me too, pet"

He kissed her forehead deliberately and then fixed her with a serious look,

"I could murder a cup of tea, though…and I was wondering if I might borrow your shower for five minutes…you really don't want to know how long I've been wearing this shirt"

Laura wrinkled her nose and pretended to consider the request seriously,

"Well, you know I'm pretty much inured to the early signs of decomposition…"

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm serious, I smell like a…"

"Policeman…yep, you do. Be my guest…"

She stepped back and gestured towards the stairs,

"I'll put the kettle on, make you a 'brew'"

Her attempt at his accent was pathetic but it amused him nonetheless,

"You making fun of me woman?"

She grinned, reaching up and kissing him quickly on the lips, the tension broken,

"Nope, far too easy when you're this knackered"

As if on command, he yawned loudly,

"Be nice to an old man"

She picked up the bag he'd brought and handed it to him theatrically, before turning him around and nudging him in the direction of the shower.

The water was still running when Laura sat down on her bed, mug of tea in hand. She'd turned on the bedside lamp and was half-reading a battered copy of Angela Carter's collected short stories. She sipped her tea and set the mug back on the table, crossing her legs and resting back against the large pile of cushions. The water stopped and she looked up, wondering again if she'd judged this right. She put the book down, slipped off her reading glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She could hear him padding around, probably trying to find things and she smiled to herself. He was humming something, not quite discernible, but he was definitely humming.

The door to the en-suite swung open and he wandered out in his boxers, a towel looped over his arm. He started a little, obviously not expecting an audience, but smiled and raised an eyebrow,

"Hello…"

She smiled back and nodded her head towards the large mug of tea and plate of biscuits on 'his' side of the bed,

"Do you mind?"

He looked at her a little quizzically, surely she didn't mean the biscuits?

"Going to bed now..."

A broad grin spread across his face, and for a moment he wondered if she was joking,

"Why on earth would I mind that, woman?"

She rolled her eyes and picked up her mug of tea.

Robbie tried not to look too keen as he dried his hair, but he could feel the warmth spreading across his shoulders, down his back. She was watching him closely, a calm expression on her face. He wondered for a moment if she'd forgotten their earlier promise and, his breath catching a little, he knew he had to ask,

"But we need to talk, Laura"

She smiled slightly and nodded, the mischievous sparkle in her eyes,

"I know…I know. I was hoping we could do that here. I'm exhausted and I really don't want to make you carry me up the stairs again"

She was trying to be casual, but now he looked closely he could see she was nervous. Her hand was toying with the trim of one of the pillows and she was biting her lip. Although he normally preferred not to know when people were trying to hide their emotions when he was off-duty, for once he was thankful for his interview training. He finished drying his hair roughly with the towel, and tossing it over the back of the door, walked purposefully to the bed. He didn't join her on the bedspread, though, but pulled back the duvet, slid himself in and groaned dramatically as he stretched out under the covers.

Laura rolled her eyes again, and set her mug down on the table,

"You really don't want to know how much this mattress cost…"

He grinned, his eyes still shut as he enjoyed the sensation of total relaxation,

"Worth every penny"

She smiled indulgently and sat back against the cushioned headboard. He looked shattered, and not for the first time she wondered if it might just be better to turn off the light and go to sleep. As if reading her mind, though, he shifted over onto his side and placing a hand gently on her arm, tugged gently,

"So…are you getting in then, woman, or do I need to drag you under the covers?"

As she curled up against him, his arms solid around her, Laura felt the most relaxed she had been in days. There was just something extremely reassuring about being next to him, held by him. It all felt so completely natural that the fears which had earlier felt so acute now seemed ridiculous. What did it matter anymore? He was here now, and she just knew that he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Whatever it was that had made him run before, it didn't matter now. Her eyes were drifting shut, as his gravelly voice tickled her ear,

"So where do you want to start?"

His fingers were tracing a lazy pattern against the bare skin of her shoulder, and he had propped himself up on an elbow. She sighed loudly, and leant back into him,

"I don't know, Robbie…"

And she really didn't. Suddenly it all felt unimportant and old history. All she wanted was this, to lie here, snuggled up next to him, and not to move for at least a week. He shifted slightly, his hand sliding down her arm to hold her hand,

"Laura…"

His voice was low and calm, but the question was unmistakable.

"I know…Ligeia…after that"

He sighed audibly, and she felt his lips press gently against her shoulder as his fingers wrapped around hers,

"I'm sorry…really sorry"

She interlaced their fingers and bringing his hand to her lips, kissed them,

"There's no need for apologies, I just want to know what happened"

He turned her slightly, the back of her head coming to rest on the pillow, until she was looking up at him,

"I ran away"

She nodded carefully, her eyes never leaving his,

"From me?"

He smiled sadly,

"No Laura, from me…"

She reached up, her fingers tracing the line of his jaw, the concern plainly visible in her eyes.

"What happened Robbie?"

He paused, and swallowed, his eyes never leaving hers,

"What I told you last week at the Randolph wasn't entirely true…"

She slid her hand down to his chest, her fingers cool against his warm skin,

"Which bit?"

"You asked me how long…"

"I did"

"And I lied"

He was still looking at her, his gaze intense but sad, and she simply nodded, not entirely trusting herself,

"I've felt this way about you for a very long time, Laura…maybe I didn't always want to admit it, not entirely…but I have"

Tears pricked her eyes and, irritated, she swept her hand across her face, wiping them away,

"Before I was attacked?"

He smiled sadly, brushing her fringe back from her eyes, his fingers lightly caressing her cheek,

"Before everything"

For a moment she was utterly confused, the calm acceptance in his eyes belying the painful truth of his words,

"Before what?"

"Everything"

She sat up, her mind refusing to accept the simple statement,

"I don't understand"

He smiled sadly, his hand stroking her back, easing her back down to lie next to him, kissing her gently on her forehead, the bridge of her nose,

"Come on, love…how could I not?"

"But…"

The weight of his confession was suddenly acute. All these years.

"I know…"

She didn't need to probe further. She knew exactly what he was saying, what he was admitting. Oh Robbie. No wonder he'd struggled so much. He had nothing to feel guilty about, of course, he had never acted on his feelings when Val was alive, not once. But still. She wrapped her arm around him, and nuzzled into the hollow of his neck, curling herself into a ball. His arm folded her closer into him, his chin coming to rest on the top of her head. For a long moment they just lay there, listening to each other's breathing, until she realised that she had to ask, had to finish this,

"And so the twins?"

Her voice was quiet, only a whisper against his ear and his own voice sounded loud by comparison,

"Were a horrible mess that I made worse from start to finish…"

She shook her head slightly,

"It wasn't your fault, how could it be? I just…" she hesitated, realising how pathetic it all sounded, how needy, "…just don't understand why you didn't…"

"Why didn't I pull you out of that hole myself?"

She nodded, pressing a kiss to his chest, wanting to ease the pain of her question the moment it was asked.

"Guilt mainly…I'd been so certain that you had nothing to hide, that I knew you better than anyone else, that you were closer to me than anyone else…and then I saw that entry in the hospital register. I read it with my own eyes. I was so angry, so hurt by the idea that you hadn't told me, I never even stopped to question what it meant, what it might mean. That there might be an alternative. I was just thinking about myself, my own hurt feelings, feeling betrayed even though I had no right to…and then once I saw what had happened…"

She flinched slightly, remembering the moment she had heard the window smash, the speed with which they'd grabbed her, the tape going over her mouth and the hood over her head. He pulled her closer, his thumb wiping away the tear that had fallen,

"I panicked…when I realised that they had taken you I panicked. I knew exactly what they were capable of"

She pressed her forehead into his chest again, drawing comfort and trying to give it,

"It was all my fault, and the only thing I could think of was getting myself as far away from you as possible"

She pulled back slightly and looked up at him, the disagreement visible in her eyes,

"It was my fault Laura…if I'd not been so tied up in how I felt about you, so protective of you, what you thought of me, I would have asked you the questions I needed to far sooner and we would have discovered the truth before they'd taken you"

"And you saw all this before you even got to the scene?"

"Clear as day. I was driving at 75mph down the Woodstock road and all I could think about was the look on your face when I asked you where you'd been the night of the first murder"

"And so you told Hathaway to pull me out?"

Her voice was serious now, but not angry, simply resigned.

"I couldn't face what I'd done. I…I did come to the hospital…they were cleaning the cuts on your face, Hathaway was sat on the bed next to you, his arm around you. I couldn't talk to you, not with him there…I…"

She nodded, understanding now.

"I went back to the station. Stayed there all night…trying to work out what we'd missed. What I'd missed."

He was talking freely now, unburdening himself of everything he'd kept hidden, and she felt herself relaxing. This was it, there was nothing more, they would be ok.

"I was too close to it all. I couldn't see things clearly…I'd seen what being like that had done to Morse. I handed in my resignation to Innocent that afternoon, but she told me to think about it. Told me I was being an idiot. So I took a couple of weeks off. Went up to see Lynne, walked around the Moors a lot."

"Did you tell Hathaway?"

"Nah…just made an excuse about needing a holiday. Told him to keep an eye on you."

"He did, you know…"

"I know"

Robbie sat up slightly, his back coming to rest against the pile of cushions, and she allowed herself to be pulled up against him, his arms wrapping round her again, a kiss pressed to the back of her head,

"So why did you come back?"

He smiled, and kissed her again,

"Two things…first, I realised that the only reason I'd got it so spectacularly wrong about the twins was because I was too close to you…and logically I figured that the likelihood of you being involved in another murder was small…"

"Unless you or Hathaway were the victims"

He smiled, the relief at having been so honest surging through him, and he found himself laughing,

"Quite…and secondly, being entirely selfish, I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing you again."

The words hung in the silence and she took a deep, shaky breath,

"Why didn't you say anything, Robbie?"

"I….couldn't. It seemed so unfair to burden you with all my problems, to ask so much of you after I'd treated you like that, run away, left Hathaway to look after you. I was a mess. My reaction to questioning you made that clear to me. If that happened now, I'd just ask, we'd get it done straight away, I wouldn't have left your side...a lot has changed. I've changed"

"And so you decided what? Just to keep your distance, be friends?"

"It wasn't my finest hour"

"I just wish I'd had a chance to talk you out of it…"

He kissed her head again, his lips lingering against her soft hair,

"I know…me too"

She waited a moment, her fingers wrapping around his, lifting his hand to her lips,

"So is that it...nothing more?"

He sighed, his fingers caressing her chin, tilting her head up, his words murmured against her lips,

"Nothing more...just this"

A/N - OK, next chapter will be M - if that's not your thing, then do the sensible thing and don't read it. Similarly, if that IS your thing, don't get too excited...this is Lewis. I will be keeping it roughly inline with what would happen on screen...there will be no swinging from chandeliers or gratuitous leather ;)

PS. I really agonised about some of this chapter - would be great to hear if you liked it! :)