This chapter is a little bit short, I know. It is essential for the story though, so I hope you like it regardless of its length.

21st of February

"Friend Raven?", Starfire asked from the other side of the bed. We had had sex again, like we had almost every night since our second time together.

"Yes?", I answered drowsily. I did not really feel like talking right now. In a few minutes guilt would settle in again, but until then I wanted to enjoy my post coital bliss.

"Do you think we have done enough of the trying out that I can do the mating right with Robin?"

This question made my insides twist. Guilt and some other emotions were surfacing again. Somehow I suddenly felt like crying. I really had not thought this would happen, despite the fact that that was what I told Starfire, that we were just trying out for the real thing. I simply never had in mind that not only was Starfire was Robin's girlfriend, but that it also worked the other way around.

Before I could stop myself and find a good answer, I had already blurted out: "No, Star, not yet." Composing myself, I surrounded her with my power. "I'm sorry, Star, I'm not throwing you out, but I need time to think." With that, I transported her back to her own room and bed.

When I was back in the sanctuary of my own room, I took my soul mirror and instantly immersed myself in my own mind, fully prepared to beg Wisdom for some advice, something I had avoided as of now. However, the sound I heard when I entered, a low crying, kind of like a baby, made me turn in a different direction first.

"What is that?", I asked incredulously once I reached the source of the crying.

In front of me stood Happiness, who carried a little bundle in her arms that seemed a whole lot like a baby emoticlone, clad in a red hamper. However all my emoticlones where always my age, so this one had to be something else.

"Hey, Rae", Happiness chirped, "look at your new emotion. Isn't she cute?"

The little emotion let out a light giggle in confirmation.

"Why isn't she my age?", I asked. "She looks like she's maybe to two or three."

"I don't know for sure", Happiness replied. "However, she is more human than anyone else here, so perhaps she is different like that."

"Who is she?", I queried. I had a good guess, but I really hoped against hope that I was wrong.

No such luck. Happiness just confirmed my suspicion. "She is Love. She is still growing", she added, motioning to the little bundle. I would have laughed at how cliché that was had it not had so dire consequences for me.

It was no use to pretend it was some other kind of love or for somebody else, and denial would not help me at all. It hurt to realize that I would want more with Starfire than I already had, when realistically I knew that even what we had now was bound to blow up in my face sooner rather than later anyways.

I knew Robin was suspecting something (though I doubted he knew what to make of it) since he had seen Star reading one of my books, written in an ancient demon language, on the couch in the common room. Upon his question she only said it was interesting. I was just glad that she did not tell him that she had gotten her language skills from kissing me, using her special power to instantly learn all the languages a person she kissed knew.

I knew it had already been a close call in that situation. I knew this, and I knew that I should end this now, while Love was still small, and it would hurt all the more if I gave her time to grow, but I could not find it in me to end what we had now, despite the fact that I was quite sure this was merely one sided. I knew from being an empath that Star enjoyed what we were doing and that she held genuine affection for me, but usually it was the affection of a friend. I had, once or twice, picked up the same strong emotion when she was with me that often flooded her mind when she was around Robin, but I did not dare hope: it still appeared around Robin, and it appeared around him all the more. Let alone that when she slept with me, she referred to it as "trying out", while with Robin she always talked about "mating".

"Star - Starfeire", the little emoticlone giggled, her pronunciation a little off but otherwise spot on.

"I know", I answered in the best emotionless voice I could manage right now. "I know."