OK! Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter ^^ I must say, this fic is so popular...thank you all! So,so, so much!

Enjoy~

chapter 14

When Shizuo stepped into Izaya's room, dressed in Izaya's dad's clothes, Izaya had to chuckle at that. "Well, aren't you cute?"

"Shut up," Shizuo muttered, irritated as he closed the door. He sighed, sitting at the edge of Izaya's bed. "I don't need you irking me, Flea."

"I wasn't," Izaya assured, head tilting to the side. "Relax, jeeze. You've been nothing but tense since you got here...well, except for when we watched Hetalia, of course. You were all over that."

Shizuo laughed a little. "It's a good anime."

Izaya rolled his eyes, opening his laptop. "...Yeah, I know. Anyways, what do you want to do?"

At first, the question had seemed innocent. But...it was coming from Izaya's mouth. The same mouth that had been kissing him only days before, the same mouth that had been...

Shut up!, Shizuo scolded himself. Don't think about that shit!

"Whatever you wanna do," Shizuo murmured, looking away as a blush formed on his cheeks.

Izaya raised an eyebrow, letting a small smirk grace his lips. "My, what were you thinking, you pervert?"

"Nothing!" Shizuo hissed, eye twitching. "You're the pervert!"

"Me?" Izaya snickered, shaking his head. "I am not. But, it's not me we're talking about. Now, what do you wish to do, Shizu-Chan?"

Shizuo wasn't sure how to respond, frowning and then looking away. "I...I don't know...we can talk."

Izaya seemed to smile wider. "About what, exactly?"

"Anything," Shizuo muttered, shrugging. "I don't really care..."

Izaya thought for a moment before smirking. "...Remember our first game of Truth or Dare?"

Shizuo blinked and frowned slowly. "Yes...why?"

"Remember what i dared you? The dare you backed out of?" Izaya's smirked widened.

Shizuo frowned in confusion and shook his head. "...No, which dare?"

Izaya snickered. "...I dared you to watch porn, Shizu-Chan."

The blonde's face went bright red and he stood, stuttering. "I...you...I-I'm n-not gonna watch that! It's...it's d-dirty!"

Izaya let out another snicker, waving a hand in dismissal. "Relax; I'm not going to make you watch anything, you big baby."

Shizuo huffed, sitting back down and glaring a bit. "Pervert."

Izaya smiled and looked back at his laptop. "...We can talk about personal things."

Shizuo frowned, looking down at his lap slowly as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Personal things? Don't you know enough?"

"Not really," Izaya shook his head, looking away from his computer. "...Would it...be alright if I asked you questions about yourself?"

"...Yeah, sure," Shizuo muttered, nodding slowly. "Go ahead...I guess."

Izaya nodded and smiled a bit, thinking to himself. He glanced at the obviously nervouse blonde, his smile starting to fade. "...I know you've been cutting since middle school, but was your dad still...you know...back then as well?"

shizuo's eyes widened slightly as memories flooded his mind. Memories of how his strength showed up out of nowhere and memories of how his father had first reacted; angry, borderling hateful. It made him clench his fists, closing his eyes. "He's been like that since my early years of grade school. He's...hated me since I developed this stupid strength."

Izaya nodded in understanding. "...You don't like your strength, do you?"

"I hate it," Shizuo muttered, opening his eyes slowly. "It's done nothing but cause trouble...all I do is break things, you know? Dad and Mom...they never liked it either. They thought i was some sort of monster...first time they saw it, i was holding the fridge up, about to throw it at Kasuka...ended up breaking bones instead of him though. I went to the hospital...I remember what happened." He looked up at the ceiling, closing his eyes. "I was still tired from the pain meds they gave me...but...I could hear my mom and dad in the hall outside the door. Dad was...angry as hell. He kept repeating, "He's a freak of nature" over...and over...and mom, she was scared. Not for me, obviously, but for Kasuka. I remember, she said, "He could have killed Kasuka! What if he kills someone else?"...Yeah, it...was pretty dumb...It's not like I meant for it to happen...if i could, I'd get rid of this strength."

Izaya closed his laptop and set it aside, scooting closer. He gripped Shizuo's chin, making the blonde look at him. "You shouldn't want to get rid of it, Shizu-Chan. So what if you're a tad different?"

Shizuo blinked before scoffing, pulling away. "You yourself said it was bad. That I was a monster, right?"

"Forget what I said," Izaya rolled his eyes, glancing away. "It wasn't true; I was just being a-"

"Prick?" Shizuo cut in, smirking just barely.

Izaya frowned, raising an eyebrow. "I was going to say jerk...but that works too, I suppose."

Shizuo let out a small laugh before sighing, looking down at his wrist. He ran his thumb against the scar, frowning heavily. "...I'm a real idiot, aren't I? Doing this shit...God, what the hell was I thinking?"

"I don't know," Izaya murmured, staring down at the blonde's wrist. "What were you thinking, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo blinked a bit, head tilting slightly, and he opened his mouth. "I...I guess I...I had...no way to let out the...anger..."

"You had Shinra," Izaya reminded lightly.

"...He wasn't always there," Shizuo whispered, sighing ever so slightly. "...You ever get that feeling that you're completly alone in the world?...That's how I've always felt...alone. No one wants to be my friend, no one goes near me...people I don't even know are terrified of me and I have no idea how to fix that...I never did so I gave up on trying. Shinra was the only one who bothered, and Celty too but...they couldn't be there all the time. I...couldn't handle the feelings on my own, it was too difficult...I'd just end up crying, and I hated that. Crying made me feel weak, but that's all I ever seem to do now. I cry...that's all I'm good for, I'm no good at anything else...cutting made the pain of that truth just dissapear for a little while...but I always ended up hating myself ten times more later on. It was my only method of feeling better...I tried other things along the way. I tried writing journals...but I didn't want my parents or Shinra to see them so I burned them all. Then I tried talking but...I can only handle Shinra for so long."

Izaya laughed softly, nodding. "I think I understand that."

Shizuo smiled barely before looking at Izaya again, his brown eyes glistening with tears. Izaya's heart stopped as he started to inwardly panic. "Shizu-Chan...?"

"You made things way worse," Shizuo muttered, looking away again. "...But you're the first person I've actually ever been able to trust so easily...and I don't even like you."

Izaya smiled slightly, shrugging. "I don't even see why you'd tolerate me after the trouble I got you into..." He lifted his hand and set it on Shizuo's face, thumb running across the bruise still blossoming on the blodne's head. Shizuo jerked just slightly at the touch, cheeks tinting pink yet again. Izaya carressed the bruise gently before smiling a bit. "...You have no idea how sorry I am, Shizu-Chan..."

Shizuo's heart seemed to skip a beat. When had they been able to have such decent and meaningful conversations? When had Shizuo been able to say things so easily to him like he was now? Frowning a bit, Shizuo reached up to take Izaya's hand and hold it to the bruise, eyes fluttering closed. "...Don't aplogize to me."

"I can't help it," Izaya murmured, moving his hand down lower to cup Shizuo's cheek absently. "I actually felt really bad...you idiot. I can't help but apologize."

Shizuo nodded, but barely, and looked at the other teen. Izaya stared back at him, eyes holding nothing but sincerity and...something Shizuo just couldn't place. He wasn't sure what it was, but it looked warm, and inviting, yet also cautious and fearful. He gulped just slightly. "It's done and over with already..."

"Still," Izaya murmured, leaning just a little closer. "I got you into serious trouble...and I felt bad, you know..."

Izaya's voice faded, both teens falling silent as they stared at each other. Neither dared to move, but neither of them had the ability to at this point. Shizuo was frozen to the spot, the memories of how Izaya had touched him that day at his house running through his mind over and over, making his heart beat faster and his breath hitch. Izaya's hand was still on his cheek, which was most likely burning red hot by now, and the raven haired teen was starting to lean closer.

Shizuo began to panic. What do I do?... I...I can't move...

"I...Izaya," The blonde's voice made Izaya freeze, lips only mere inches from Shizuo's. Shizuo gulped, staring into Izaya's smoldering crimson eyes. "...I...don't know...what to do..."

Izaya blinked a bit before his eyes fell on Shizuo's lips, slightly parted and still looking oh so soft. His lips started to tingle with the memory of how Shizuo's lips had tasted; sweet, soft...amazing. He had no idea why he was getting those thoughts again, especially now of all times, but he did know one thing; just like last time, he was struggling to keep these ridiculous feelings supressed again.

"...Do whatever you like," Izaya finally whispered. "...Because that's what I, too, am going to do."

He leaned in further, lips pressing against Shizuo's ever so slightly. He paused, waitng for the blonde's response. Shizuo, at first, stiffened, before he relaxed and cautiously pressed back against Izaya's lips.

Both were stunned, unsure of what to do at that moment. Slowly, Izaya pressed harder, the hand on Shizuo's cheek sliding up and into the blonde's hair. Shizuo shivered slightly, mocha eyes falling shut as he tried to break the kiss. "Izaya..."

Izaya frowned, pressing their lips together again to silence the blonde. He was feeling it again, the same lust he had felt days before. Only this time, it was stronger, tugging at his mind until all he could think about was touching the blonde before him. His tongue snaked out to trace Shizuo's bottom lip, Shizuo jerking and shoving against Izaya's chest half heartedly.

Izaya would have taken it further, like last time, but the loud and sudden knok on his door made them jump apart, faces red as the door opened. Izaya's mom peeked in, smiling. "Just checking on you two."

Izaya felt his eye twitch. "We're fine, mom."

Mrs. Orihara giggled, nodding. "Good, just checking. Don't stay up too late; you have school tomorrow, after all. Good night, boys!"

The woman left, leaving both boys in the room, Shizuo afraid to turn around and Izaya annoyed as hell. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That was annoying..."

Shziuo glanced over his shoulder at Izaya, his eyes glistening. Izaya blinked, sitting up straighter. "What's the matter, Shizu-Chan?"

"You...you..." Shizuo stuttered, unsure of what to say. "You...kissed me...a-again..."

Izaya hesitated, nodding slowly. "Y-yeah...I did."

Wh-why...?" Shizuo whispered, a hand comign uo to touch his lips. "...Is it something you're supposed to do with friends?...Shinra and I never...did that..."

Izaya blinked and then smiled a bit, shaking his head slowly. He reached out and took Shizuo's hand, sighing a bit. "You're really hopeless...but it's kind of cute..."

"Answer my question," Shizuo murmured, looking down. "I've only ever had Shinra as a friend and...he's not exactly normal so is...kissing something normal friends are allowed to do?"

Izaya hesitated, nodding slowly. "Yes."

It was a lie and he knew it, but with Shizuo so adorable and confused, how could Izaya not take advantage? It was sure to bite him in the ass later, but for now he'd see how long he could play this thing off.

Shizuo frowned a bit, raising an eyebrow. "That's fucking weird..."

"It's normal," Izaya grinned."

Shizuo rubbed his arm absently. "...Sounds more like that term 'friends with benifits' or something..."

"Maybe so," Izaya shrugged, holding Shizuo's hand again. "Then we're friends with benifits! We can hug, hold hands, kiss and...other things."

That made Shizuo's face heat up again. "That's...! You pervert! Like I'd ever!"

Izaya chuckled, nodding. "I'm joking with you. We don't have to have sex."

A part of him regretted saying that...the part that wanted to throw shizuo down on the bed and ravish him all night, that is. Izaya forced that part back, ruffling Shizuo's hair. "Not like I'd have sex with you anyways."

"I'm sure you were thinking differently the other night," Shizuo dead panned.

Izaya froze, cheeks tinting a light shade of pink. Shizuo blinked, leaning back as an expression of surprise began to form on his face. "I...got you to blush..."

"You did not," Izaya snapped, huffing and looking away. "I don't blush."

"Liar!" shizuo grinned and when Izaya saw it, his heart pounded just a little faster. He had never seen thatsmile on Shizuo's lips and it was, indeed, a beautiful sight.

Smiling, Izaya started to chuckle. "You're smiling."

Shizuo blinked, frowning yet again. "So?"

"I've never seen you smile," Izaya stated, head tilting to the side. "You have a very nice smile."

Shizuo looked away, huffing under his breath. "Shut up, Flea..."

Izaya smiled, nodding. "You really shoudl learn to accept compliments when they're-"

Izaya was cut off by thunder, loud and making the window shake. Shizuo jumped a bit, looking at the window beside them. "It started raining..."

"Ick," Izaya frowned, pouting. "I must say, I'm not a very big fan of rain."

Shizuo turned back to the raven haired teen, head tilting to the side. "Why? Rain isn't that bad. It's kind of enjoyable."

"If i'm going to me drenched in water," Izaya huffed, crossing his arms. "I'd rather it be in a shower or a pool, not while I'm walking home from school. Besides, rain makes the entire day seem depressing."

Shizuo looked back at the window,a small, sad smile on his lips. "...I used to sneak out during rain storms. Sometimes Shinra would meet me in the park and we'd hang out...Celty too. We'd talk...for hours, sometimes. Shinra would usualy sit under the slide so the rain wouldn't get him too badly and Celty would sit on the bench and watch us."

Izaya had a feeling Shizuo was getting into something emotional, but he didn't have the urge to stop him. He tilted his head, smiling. "And what would you do, little rebel? Destroy the swings?"

Shizuo smiled a bit, his hand coming up to touch the cold glass of the window. "...I used to stand in the rain for hours on end. Sometimes I wouldn't even talk...I'd just stare up at the sky...because I loved standing out in the rain."

"Why?" Izaya asked as he hugged a pillow. "It must have been deathly cold after a while..."

Shizuo's eyes stayed transfixed on the rain rolling down the glass. "...I liked being in the rain...because there was no way to tell if I was crying."

Not expected that, Izaya blinked. He frowned a little, scooting closer. "...I see."

Shizuo looked over at Izaya, smiling a bit. "Damn, sorry. Fuck, I killed an enjoyable mood again."

"No, it's perfectly fine," Izaya smiled, standing. "Put your shoes on and follow me."

Shizuo blinked, hurry after Izaya as they quietly went into the hall. They pulled on their shoes at the front door, Shizuo frowning in confusion. "Where are we going, Flea?"

"For a walk in the rain," Izaya smiled, grabbing Shizuo's wrist and pulling him out.

The rain hit them almost instantly, Shizuo shivering a bit as a small smile formed on his lips. Within minutes, they were walking down an empty street, clothes dripping wet. Izaya looked over his shoulder at the blonde, smiling still. "You're all wet...how cute."

"Shut it," Shizuo huffed, running a hand through his soaked hair. "Any special place we're going?"

"You'll see," Izaya murmmured.

Shizuo frowned, unsure. Knowing Izaya, they could have been going anywhere. They walked for a few more minutes before the area finally grew more familiar. Shizuo blinked, speeding up so he was walkign beside the flea. "The park is up ahead..."

"Bingo," Izaya nodded, throwing a smile at his friend. "You like going to the park in the rain, right? So, that's where we're going."

Shizuo stared at Izaya in mild surprise before looking ahead. In the distance, he could make out the shape of the play structures on the park. It wasn't the big town park with the fountain, it was the childrens' park, but it was a park none the less. Shizuo smiled a bit, shaking his head slowly. "You're trying to get on my good side."

"Nah," Izaya shook his head. "It's just me being nice."

They got to the park and paused, both of them staring at the abandoned and empty play structures, rain pouring down around them. A round of thunder went off, Shizuo letting out a small chuckle. "This brings back memories..."

Izaya smiled too, looking at the blonde. "What do you want to do now, Shizu-Chan."

Shizuo thought for a second before smiling, rain dripping off his hair and trailing down his face. "...I want to swing."

Taken by surprise, Izaya watched as Shizuo walked over to the swings. He sat down, gripping the chains as he slowly began to swing back and forth. Izaya stared silently, a small smile on his lips. He gives off such a brutal vibe...but now that I've seen past his mask, he's just a little kid. He's so innocent...it's almost painful to watch him live like this...but I like this side of him more than I like his tormented side.

Izaya walked over, sitting in the swing beside Shizuo and swinging as well. Shizuo glanced over, smiling a bit as he sped up. The rain hit his face, soaking him,making him smile. It was like old times, only instead of Shinra being there it was Izaya and instead of Celty watching over them, they were alone. Shizuo smiled wider, looking at the sky as they swung. They enjoyed a good half hour in silence, swinging and then finally stopping. Shizuo griped the swing chains tighter, staring up at the sky. "...It's weird."

"Hm?" Izaya looked over, wet bangs hanging in his eyes. "Weird? What is?"

"Us," Shizuo murmured, closing his eyes as rain drops trailed down his face. "...First all we did was fight...now look at us. We're in the park in the middle of a storm...swinging...not trying to murder each other."

Izaya smiled warmly, a chuckle escaping his lips. "I know what you mean; I don't get it either, really. However, it's a nice change. I find it's rather amusing being near you, but i enjoy having civil conversations more."

Shizuo smiled, looking down at the ground. "...I still hate you."

Izaya raised an eyebrow in question. "If you hated me, then why did you kiss me back earlier, hm?"

Shizuo blushed, thankful that it was too dark to see it. "Shut up! That's a friend thing, isn't it?!"

Izaya had to force down a snicker, nodding. "...I was kidding about that."

Shizuo's face suddenly felt ten times hotter and he huffed, gritting his teeth. "...Prick."

Izaya laughed again, smiling. "...You've proven to be...different...very different."

Shizuo nodded, standing. "Never judge a book by it's cover, you know?...Everyone else does, though. It...it's just not fair..." He looked up at the sky, frowning. "...I wish I could get rid of this strength...and be normal, you know? Not a monster...not anything hated. I just...I want to be normal..."

Rain dripped down Shizuo's cheeks, but Izaya wasn't stupid; washing away with the rain were tears...Shizuo's tears. Izaya stood, walking over and jabbing Shizuo in the chest. The blonde slowly looked at him, eyes glistening and tears mixing with rain drops and cascading down his cheeks. Izaya smiled a bit, shaking his head slowly. "I told you...so whatif you're different? Who wants to be normal? That's boring. Shizu-chan...you're good the way you are, alright? Who needs those other losers, anyways?"

Shizuo let the smallest of smiles form on his lips. He looked to the side, his wet shirt sticking to his chest as his shoulders trembled. "...It'd make everything better...if I was normal, you know? My parents...they wouldn't hate me...and i'd have friends, alot of them...maybe good grades, too, who knows?...Damn it..."

Shizuo covered his face with his hands, gritting his teeth as everything began to rush at him. The memories, the thoughts and words...everything. He lowered his hands, eyes glued to the ground as his right hand came to his left wrist, nails starting to claw at the healing gash. Izaya jerked, slapping the clawing hand away and gripping the scarred wrist. "Shizu-Chan, stop."

Shizuo frowned, body unhappy with the lack of blood and pain. He slowly closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly.

Monster!

Demon!

Useless!

All you do is break!

Why can't you be normal?!

You're brother is amazing!

Beast!

Freak!

"Ah..." Shizuo started to shake, tears stinging his eyes. "I...I just want...want to be normal..."

Izaya's grip tightened on his wrist, the raven haired teen taking a deep breath before he did something that surprised even himself. He hugged Shizuo, arms wrapping tightly around the stunned, shaking blonde. Shizuo gulped, letting out a trembling breath. "I...Iza...Izaya..."

"Hush," Izaya murmured, taking a step back and taking Shizuo's hand. "...Let's go home."

Shizuo gave no protest, following the raven haired teen as they headed back towards Izaya's house. They got there, kicking off their wet shoes and walking upstairs to Izaya's room. Izaya turned, looking at the now silent, puffy eyed blonde. "Take those clothes off; they're soaked. I have boxers you can wear, but that's about it. Is that fine?"

Shizuo, looking slightly dazed, nodded. "Yeah..."

Izaya walked to the dresser and pulled out a pair of black boxers, tossing them to the blonde. He turned his back to him, getting out a dry pair for himself. Shizuo stared at the boxers in his hands before setting them down on Izaya's bed. He pulled off the soaked shirt sticking to him, dropping it to the floor.

The sound alerted Izaya and, secretly, he glanced over his shoulder. He blinked at the sight of Shizuo's bare torso, one he had seen before obviously. This time, however, it was different. The first time around, Izaya hadn't taken the time to properly examine the blonde. Shizuo's skin wasn't too pale, but it was light in color. He was lean, much more so that he had expected, and bruises and tiny cuts littered his back. Izaya frowned a bit, removing his clothes as he watched Shizuo slide off the soaked sweats he wore.

Shizuo hesitated when he got to his wet boxers but sighed, not feeling a reason to care. He slid the wet boxers off, now completly naked in Izaya's bedroom. Izaya's breath hitched, crimson eyes widening at the sight of the naked teen. Shizuo's body was beautiful; Izaya decided that right then. Yes, his legs and lower back were littered with bruises, and there were old scars on his hips, but god damn Shizuo was stunning. Izaya felt his cock twitch and he shuddered, quickly looking away and undressing himself.

Shizuo pulled on the dry boxers, slowly looking over his shoulder just in time to see Izaya pulling on his boxers. The raven haired teen met his eye, both of them silent. Shizuo hesitated, speaking in a hushed voice. "I...wasn't staring."

Izaya stared for a second, finally laughing. "I never said you were...but alright."

Shizuo looked away, staring at the bed with blank eyes. "...Am I sleeping on the floor?"

"Eh? Of course not~" Izaya assured, walking over. "You can sleep with me. My bed is big enough."

Izaya expect Shizuo to argue or blush, but the blonde only nodded. "Alright."

Izaya watched silently as Shizuo got into the bed, lying down with his back facing Izaya. The dark haired boy sighed a bit, shutting off the light and climbing into bed as well. All was silent, the room lit up every now and again by lightning. It was calming, but Izaya was taken by surprise when Shizuo turned to face him, bringing himself closer to Izaya and hiding his face in the other teen's neck. Izaya blinked. "Shizu-Chan?"

Shizuo didn't move. It was silent for a few minutes before Shizuo spoke. "...Sorry."

He went to move but Izaya was faster, arms wrapping around his friend's waist and pulling him closer. Izaya smiled a bit, letting out a small yawn "It's alright...you can cuddle."

Shizuo was silent at first, but when he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. "Thanks...Izaya."

Izaya's heart skipped a beat. It was the first time Shizuo had said his name like that...like Izaya wasn't an annoyance, or like he didn't hate him. It...made his entire body tingle with delight. "Shizu-Chan..."

"I don't know...what's up with me," Shizuo whispered, gritting his teeth.

Izaya stared at the ceiling before his hand came up to run gently through the blonde's wet hair. "...I think that the monster of Ikkebukuro...just needs someone to hold him. He acts so tough but...I think he just needs to be held. and I'll do that for you...alright?"

Shizuo nodded, burying his face into Izaya's neck again. "...G-good night."

Izaya smiled. "...Goodnight."

He held Shizuo tighter, listening as the blonde slowly fell asleep. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest and his mind was swimming. He frowned, confused. Shizuo was here, in his arms...the same feelings were washing over him again.

Confusion.

Saddness.

Joy.

...Lust.

No, Izaya wasn't stupid. He knew what this was...he knew. It all made sense. The need to be near the blonde, to see every side of him...the need to know every little thing about him,the way Shizuo's smile made his heart flutter...all the confusion.

It made sense.

Pulling Shizuo closer, he swallowed the lump in his throat. I'm in love with Heiwajima Shizuo.

FINALLY! Izaya admites it! Ah,it's sooner than expected...but yay!I hope you enjoyed this chapter, i tried to be kinda sweet but angsty, you know? Shizuo needed another mini melt down and Izaya needed to be the one to comfort him this time. Anyways, review! I love your reviews, they make me smile! ^^Love u all!~