I'm... What?
(Buffy's POV)
It's been about a week since Faith first spoke to me outside the doors, and since then, she hasn't approached me since. No mater how many times I know she's caught me staring at her. I know when she's caught me, because she always starts swinging her hips just a little more, like she's actually trying to keep my attention. But she only ever does it for me. When any other guys, or even some girls, stare at her ass, she kind of smiles, but keeps walking. She knows she's hot, but she only ever emphasizes it for me. So why hasn't she tried to talk to me since the second day?
Well, today, I'm going to find out. Everyone's waiting on the grass for the day to start, as usual, and I see Faith and her "gang" in their usual place just outside the front doors, out of the way, out of the sunlight, but so they can see everyone. Willow and Xander are walking with me, but as soon as I see Faith, I break away from them, making a mental note to apologize for it later.
"Faith, can I talk to you a minute?" I ask her when I'm standing little more than an arm's length away from the group. They all turn to face me, and some of the guys snicker while the others are checking me out.
"Um... sure, what's up?" She ask, like she's never seen me before, like she's wondering how I know her name. She doesn't move, everyone just stares at me expectantly.
"Alone?" I ask.
"Oh!" Faith says with a smirk. "You should clarify things like that." She says sarcastically, but still doesn't move. "You got somethin' to say? You can say it in front of them." She says, and her message, assuming that I'm not reading too much into it, is clear. She's not even going to bother with me if I'm not brave enough to talk to her in front of people.
"Fine." I growl. "So what's your problem, huh?" Faith looks surprized, like she'd been expecting me to beg her to go out with me, or hit on her or something.
"Um... Not sure I know what you're talkin' about, B." She looks genuinely confused, as well.
"You just walk up to girls, hit on them, and then ignore them all the time?"
She chuckles, then takes a few steps towards me, like she's trying to intimidate me. I don't back down, even though she's easily four inches taller than me, plus she still looks like a complete badass while I'm still looking like a girly girl, like my sister. She's impressed, though.
"Maybe I was waitin' on you to come talk to me." She says, her hands in her pockets.
"Well here I am." I say, still not backing down. In fact, I decide to take a step forward, and she reacts in a way I definitely do NOT expect. She flinches.
She recovers quickly, though. "Yeah. Here you are. So, you want somethin'? Or are ya gonna get outta my face?" She actually looks mad. What the hell?
"I... uh... I just... I thought-"
"Yeah, well, that's somethin' blondes don't do too well, huh? Think? I mean, unless you were lyin' yesterday about that bein' your "natural hair color"."
"No, it's... It's natural..." I take a step backwards, and when she doesn't try to stop me from leaving, I turn and walk away.
What just happened? I ask myself, and I go over the encounter several times in my mind. The only explanation I can come up with is that the rumors about her are true, and she's a bitchy control freak that absolutely cannot stand having people stand up to her. Am I attracted to a bully?
"What was that about, Buff?" Willow asks when I return to her and Xander.
"What?" I ask. "Oh, right. Sorry, just wanted to ask her something."
Willow sighs. "I did tell you, she's no good, Buff."
"Yeah. Should have listened to you. Sorry. And sorry for the ditching." I apologize.
"Hey, sorry for what?" Xander asks rhetorically with a smile.
I smile back, but I'm still confused about Faith's reaction. It seems like it should be something as simple as she's a control freak, not used to people not backing down, but somehow, I think it's something deeper than that.
But I push all thoughts of Faith out of my mind when the morning bell rings.
...
I don't see Faith in Biology today. Or Algebra. Or History. As a matter of fact, other than catching a glimpse of her in the lunch hall during, well, lunch, I don't see her all morning.
But then Gym comes.
Everyone's supposed to change out into a red t-shirt and yellow shorts for gym, and, of course, the girls' shorts are much shorter than the guys'. But neither Faith, nor either of her friends that also have gym that period change. They never do, but Faith usually at least takes off her jacket and participates in Gym. I figure, even if she's not much one for school at all, but she's definitely a physical person, so she always seems to enjoy getting physical in gym. But this time, she and her two pals just sit down in the bleachers off to the side.
"Lehane!" The coach yells. Faith glances over to him, but otherwise doesn't budge. Her buddies look over their shoulders at him, too. "Get out there and hit somebody!"
Okay, we're playing dodgeball. So hitting people refers, of course, to using the soft balls to do so. And somehow, that sounds worse then just the coach telling Faith to hit someone.
Faith raises her hands like "I can't hear you!", and the coach glares, and pulls out his megaphone, and shouts the same message into the megaphone. Faith sighs and gets up reluctantly. Her buddies follow her like sheep.
She slips the jacket off her shoulders and hands it to one of them, and the other one hands her a ball. She focuses for a second, then throws it. BLAM! one very skinny guy wearing some of the girls' short yellow shorts (because they were out of guy shorts), falls to the ground.
"Edmonds! You're out!" The coach yells, and blows his whistle. "Smith! Yacker! Dale! You're out!" THe coach yells and blows his whistle three times. I realize Faith has just been taking person after person out, and everyone on my team is aiming for her. Obviously, she's a big player on the other team. She actually seems kind of proud, if a bit bored. But I focus on myself now as I catch a really fast moving ball coming my way. The guy who threw it looked at me in confusion. I could see his thoughts plainly on his face.
Wait, what? How'd she catch that?
"Hartman! You're out!" The coah shouts, and another whistle sounds, and the guy that threw the ball walks away, really confused. Faith is actually looking at me in surprize.
Apparently, Hartman is a pretty big player on the other team, as well. All of a sudden, everyone on Faith's team is aiming for me as well, except Faith. She actually avoids me. Soon, I'm the only one left standing on my team, and I alone have taken out half of her team.
I'm aiming for another one when I see him get hit.
What? I'm the only one still standing on my team, and I didn't throw. I look around, just to be sure, but yep, I'm the only one. Then, I see Faith take out another member of her own team. And another.
That's not the way the game is played! I'm about to protest, but apparently, the coach doesn't care. He blows on his whistle every time she hits another person, and her team mates start dropping like flies. They actually turn and start trying to get her out.
But she dodges every single projectile. I prefer to fight fair, so I throw a ball at her, looking to either end the game by getting myself out because she catches it, or getting her out so the game can be fair again. Neither happens. Despite the fact that she could easily have caught that, she dodges it instead. Finally, it's down to just her, me, and her two buddies.
She nods to them, and they each grab a ball, and just when I think I'm about to be three-timed, they hit each other with the ball, and two whistles sound.
So that's what she was after. She wanted it to be just her and me, huh?
She walks right up to the middle of the gym and sets the ball she's carrying on the ground. Looks like she wants to talk.
Fine, then.
I walk up to her and set my ball down right next to hers, and I look her dead in the eyes. But she averts her eyes, like it's painful to make eye contact with me.
"Okay, Faith, do you have a problem with me?" I ask bluntly. She doesn't flinch this time, even though I'm standing barely two inches away from her. There's barely any spac between us. I could easily crane my neck a bit and kiss her right now.
Then, I realize I just thought about kissing her, and I blush. That's what she seemed to be waiting for.
"No. I don't have a problem with ya, B. Just the opposite. You're... interestin'."
Interesting? Me? Faith thinks I'm interesting? "Really? Then why the no talking for almost a week? Why, when we do finally talk, do you get all mad at me and tell me to get out of your face? Why do you avoid me all day? And why do you start taking out your own team mates instead of focusing on me?"
"You ask a lot of questions."
"Maybe if you'd answer some of them, you wouldn't feel so overwhelmed." And again, she gives that look of surprize that I'm getting very used to seeing.
"Hmm... Okay." She agrees. "I didn't talk to you, 'cause I was waitin' for you to talk to me. See, way I see it, I made the first move, it was you're turn."
"The first move?" I ask indignantly, and she smirks.
"Yeah. First move. I talked to you first first, it was you're turn to talk to me first. I'm kinda old-fashioned like that."
"So what? It was like... an invitation, or something?"
"Somethin' like that." Faith nods. Everyone in the bleachers is getting antsy, including the coach. They're waiting for us to beat each other to a pulp now.
"Okay, than what's with the hostility earlier?"
"That's... kinda personal. Don't think into it, okay, B?"
"And the avoiding?"
"Like I said, personal. Nothin' to do with you."
I sigh. "And the friendly fire?"
"Friendly fire?" She asks, chuckling.
"Yeah, you know, taking out your own team mates?"
She laughs again. "Like I said earlier, you're interesting."
"I'm interesting, so you take out your own team mates in dodgeball?"
"Yeah." She grins, and then sees I need more. "Okay, so see that kid up there?" She turns to the bleachers and points to the guy who threw the ball at me that I caught. Heart... something.
"Yeah?"
"That's Marcus Hartman. He's a senior, and he's already being looked at by some scouts for the majors."
"Major league... dodgeball?"
"No. Baseball. That guy can pitch a 95mph fastball and make it look easy. Barely breaks a sweat. He was the pitcher for the Sunnydale High baseball team before the team was shut down to provide more funding for the football team. Now he's the quarterback."
I whistle. "So wait, why does that make you go all Rambo on your team?"
Faith laughs again. "You like action movies? Damn, you just keep gettin' more and more interestin'. Well, you see, you caught his ball and didn't even flinch. I'm the only one who's ever done that." Now I'm surprized. "Plus, the way you were dodgin' everyone's balls from my team... You're a gymnast, aren't ya?" And I'm further surprized. She was actually paying that much attention to me?
"Um... yeah. Would join the gymnastics team, but... we don't have one here, so..."
Faith groans. "Yeah, I know right? Sucks."
"Wait, are you a gymnast, too?"
She smirks. "I just like lookin' at hot girls in tights."
"Oh." I'm kind of disappointed. Thought maybe we actually had something other than orientation in common.
"Just, whatever ya do, don't settle for bein' a cheerleader. It ain't the same."
"How would you know, if you're not a gymnast?"
"I figure, it's kinda like tradin' in a Harley for a fuckin' bicycle. Major downgrade, not nearly as satisfyin'."
"You speak as though from experience."
"Yeah. Had my license revoked over the summer. It's not the same. I'm used to the roar of the motor and the... vibrations between my legs." She says suggestively, and I gulp. "Somehow, the ching-ching and the occasional bump in the road just isn't the same."
"So... You... You ride a motorcycle?"
"Hell yeah. Or, I did, until my license got revoked. Lookin' on gettin' it back soon, though."
"Oh."
"So, that answer all your questions?" She asks.
"No." I admit. "But it'll hold me over."
Faith nods. "Good, 'cause now I got one for you."
"And that would be?"
Faith grins. "What are you doin' this Friday night?"
...
Xander went home after gym. Apparently, Faith took him out in the second round of dodgeball, and he got a mild concussion when he hit the ground. Not enough to go to the hospital, but he was definitely seeing stars for the rest of the day.
So, Willow walked me home alone, because Dawn got in trouble and had to stay after school for detention.
"So what was that talk with Faith about earlier?" Willow asked me. She was obviously concerned.
"Well, I just asked her a couple questions, she sort of answered them, and she asked me out this Friday." I actually haven't stopped smiling since gym.
"Oh... Well... That's... great, Buff..." She... sounds... thrilled...
"Willow, it's going to be okay. I don't normally put any stock in rumors, but I'm definitely going to be careful around her." I say, and Willow seems like she relaxes a bit, but not much.
"Well... I mean, we haven't been friends long, but, for me, a week is the longest I've ever actually had a friend, besides Xander. So, I like to think of you as my best friend, if that's okay!" She blurts the last part, unsure, and I smile... you know... more.
"Will, that's okay. You're pretty much my best friend, too. Well, pretty much my only friend, along with Xander. None of my friends from LA have even tried to call, so I figure that means you and Xan are it for me in the friends zone."
Willow's eyes are glistening with tears of joy. I take it friends for her are not an everyday occurence.
She wipes her eyes and laughs at herself. "Well, anyway, I just don't want to see my friends get hurt, and if you actually try to be something with Faith, you're almost certain to get hurt. I know I've said it already, but I'm going to say it again. She's not the relationship type."
"I know, Will, and thanks for the concern. But trust me, I'll be fine. There's just... something about her... I can't get her out of my mind. Does that sound crazy?"
Willow thinks for a minute. "Well... normally, I'd say no. But since this is Faith Lehane you're talking about, I have to say yes. It sounds insane. But..." She says, noticing my frown, "I'm not going to say anything else about it. If you get hurt, I'll be here for you. You know that, right?" She looks worried, and I smile reassuringly.
"Yeah. I know that, Will. And thanks. I appreciate it." And with that, we're walking up the steps to my house.
"Hello, Willow, Buffy." My mom says cheerily when we walk in. "Girls, could you sit down for a minute? I'd like to talk to you."
Confused, Willow and I sit down on the couch, and my mom sits across from us.
"Okay, now... Buffy, you know that I know about your... orientation."
And suddenly, I know, and apparently, Willow knows, too, where my mom is going with this.
"Mom-!"
"Mrs. Summers-!" We try to stop her before she goes any further, but she holds her hand up to silence us.
"And I just want to say that I'm behind you about it. I have no problems with you being attracted to girls, but if you two are spending a lot of time together, and it makes a mother wonder... if you two are actually having sex."
"Mom!" I screech.
"Mrs. Summers!" Willow's voice is just as high as my own, and we subconsciously scoot away from each other a bit.
"Mom, we're just friends!" My mom recoils at our yelling.
She holds her hands up and we quiet down, but I have to clear things up.
"Mom, Willow and I are just friends. I promise."
"I like boys!" Willow blurts, and my mom's face turns as red as mine and Willow's faces are. Which, is to say, redder than Willow's hair.
"Oh." She says, then she bursts into laughter, but Willow and I are actually too horrified and quite possibly scarred from this experience to laugh with her. She gets up, still laughing, and walks out of the room, and up the stairs. We hear her laughing until her bedroom door closes.
Slowly, I turn to look at Willow. And I really look at Willow. I mean, I can't help it. My mom just got me to thinking about it, and I was kind of curious.
You know, she's actually not unattractive. Now that I look at her, she's actually really beautiful. I'd even go so far as to say she'd be gorgeous if she weren't so self-conscious and hiding behind all those layers of clothing. Maybe if she decided to be proud of her body, and of course, if she wasn't my best friend, therefore eliminating the awkward factor, I might even be a little attracted to her.
Willow notices me staring,though, and she shifts uncomfortably.
"So... can you say awkward?" I ask jokingly, and her tension seems to fade a little, and she laughs nervously. "Will, you know you don't have to worry, right?"
"What? Oh. Wait... You mean... You're not..."
"Well, don't get me wrong, Will, you're not exactly Queen of the Uglies. You're very beautiful, I just don't think of you like that. You're not a girl to me, you're just you. You're a Willow." I smile, hoping to God that she's not offended. But Willow seems to get what I mean, because she relaxes and smiles back.
"Thanks, Buff."
"No problem, Will. So, you hungry?"
"Starving. I didn't eat at lunch today."
"Why not?"
"Because, I swear, whatever they serve, it just can't be kosher. I'm Jewish."
"Oh! I didn't know that! Oh, god... And all those Jewish jokes I made, and I had no idea, I'm sorry!"
Willow laughed. "Don't worry about it, Buffy. I'm only ewish because my parents raised me Jewish... You know... when they raised me..." Willow's face was sad.
"What's up with "Sad-face Willow"? What's wrong? Are they... you know...?"
"Oh, no! No, they're still alive... But I'm not. Not to them, anyway. They... They never really pay attention to me."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Willow." I hug her.
"It's okay, Buffy. I've got my friends. All two of them." She smiles goofily, and I'm amazed that she's strong enough to not let her parents' lack of attention get to her.
"You know, it's their loss." I say. She blinks at me. "If they can't see what an amazing person you are, then I'm just glad I can. And Xander can."
"Right... Xander..." "Sad-face Willow" is back now.
"You know... He does notice how amazing you are." I say comfortingly.
"What do you mean?"
"Xander. He does notice."
"Not really."
"Well, guys like Xander... They have an attention span about the size the size of a pea. They can only really focus on one thing at a time, and most of the time, it's focused on their crotch." Willow laughs at that. "They focus on whatever their crotch points to, and it really only points to girls like Cordelia that like to show a lot of skin. Girls that are sexy, and know they're sexy, and aren't afraid to show it. They never really point to girls that are amazing on the inside."
"Thanks for making me feel better." Willow says sarcastically.
"I'm not finished. Now, you, Willow, are both."
"What?"
"You are smart, you're goofy, you're funny, and you're really nice. That makes you amazing on the inside. Plus, you're beautiful on the outside. You just hide it behind baggy sweaters and pastel skirts. I'm not saying you need to show a lot of cleavage or anything. But a little skin wouldn't hurt. Just enough to make the guys notice you. You know, Xander's better than most guys. He really is. At first, he really only notices what's on the outside, but once he notices someone, he can see the good in them,and he'll start tonotice what's on the inside, too."
Willow seems to be relaxed, and she's smiling, so I guess I'm kind of making sense.
"Willow?"
"Yeah, Buffy?"
"Can I... Can I give you a makeover?"
"What?" Willow looks confused.
"Do you trust me?"
"Well... yeah?"
"No, do you trust me?"
Willow hesitates, then nods. "Yes."
"Okay. Tomorrow, get up early. I'm coming over, and I'm going to help you get ready, okay?"
"Like... with what?"
"Everything. Just once, okay? If I'm wrong about this, then you can go back to baggy sweaters and pastel skirts, okay?"
Willow nods again, but she isn't sure.
"Trust me, when I'm done with you, even YOU will be attracted to yourself." I joke. Willow looks unsure. "Willow, you do know the difference between thinking someone's attractive and being attracted to someone, don't you?"
Willow nods, wondering where this is going.
"Well, good then. As your friend, I have to say, you are very attractive. Doesn't mean I'm attracted to you, so I'm not gonna be putting the moves on you or anything. I'm just saying... If you'd be a little more proud of yourself, and realize just how beautiful you actually are, you'd be a total guy magnet!" Willow smiles at that.
"You really think so?"
"Willow, which one of us would know more about what guys find attractive on a woman? The straight girl, or the lesbian?"
Willow nods. "Good point." We laugh, and head into the kitchen to grab our snack.
...
Willow leaves at about seven, and, as usual, I'm in bed by nine. And again, as I have been since the first day of school, I dream about Faith. Something about her calls to me, and I can't get her out of my mind.
...
I'm very eager to see how the guys, especially Xander, will react to my masterpiece that is Willow Rosenberg.
I had my mom drive me over to Willow's house, and I kind of... sort of met her parents. I mean, I said hi, they said hi. It was a thing. Anyway, I had Willow get in the shower, and she was kind of nervous as she sat down on her bed in nothing but a towel. I shaved her legs for her, and she even let me give her a haircut. I brought some of my clothes over for her to wear, too, but modified them slightly before hand so they'd suit her more. It was kind of awkward the whole time, but I guess she really does trust me, because she didn't really flinch or freak out when I touched her.
About an hour later, I had her look in the mirror, and she was stunned.
"Wow..." Was all she could say, and her eyes were wide. "Look at me..." I couldn't quite tell what she thought, because her face was just surprized face, not happy or shamed face. So, I sat on her bed, nervous.
"What do you think, Will?" I asked.
"I... I... I'm... I'm hot!" She grinned, and even struck a pose in the mirror, and relief washed over me.
And now, my mom is dropping us off. I called Xander as we left Willow's house, and told him to meet us in the parking lot.
He's standing just outside the car now.
"Okay, Will. Just stay there, and I'll tell you when to get out, okay?"
"Okay." Willow grins.
I get out of the car and hug Xander. It's something we do every day. No big deal.
"Hey, Xan. What's up?"
"Well, since you're the one who told me to meet you guys here, I'm hoping you'll tell me." He says curiously.
"Oh. Right." I facepalm, like I'm saying "silly me". "Well, I just figured, my mom has to go to the gallery early today, so she decided to drop me off at school." I turn Xander around and start walking away. When Xander's turned around, I motion for Willow to get out. Once she's out of the car, and standing upright, I continue talking. "So, I told her, "Hey! Let's swing by Willow's and pick her up!" So, we did."
"Wait, Willow's with you? Shouldn't we wait for... her..." He trails off and freezes when he sees Willow standing there, and I swear, a shift in the air tells me that his teenage boy compass is aimed directly at Willow. Unwaveringly at Willow.
She's wearing a deep red shirt with plastic rubies embedded around the v-neck collar, and a pair of denim shorts that stop about halfway down her thighs, and a pair of black leather boots my mom let her borrow. Luckily they wear about the same size. Her hair is short now, and stops around her ears, and she's wearing my pair of silver looped earrings. She has on pink lipstick, and a little bit of green eyeshadow. Not much, just enough to stand out from the rest of the outfit. The v-neck doesn't show much, basically just her throat, the ends of her collar bones, and a sliver of the dip between her breasts. The boots go halfway up her calves. She's also wearing a silver Star of David pendant pretty similar to my silver cross. In a word, she looks absolutely stunning, and I think she'll make lesbians out of a few straight girls.
She kind of squrims under his gaze, nervous, but I signal for her to stick to the plan. She nods, and walk up to us like nothing's new.
"Hey, Xander, what's up?" She asks, putting her arms around mine and Xander's shoulders and we walk off. I wave goodbye to my mom, and she drives off.
When we get to the front of campus, everyone's head is turning towards her. Girls are mad that their boyfriends are gawking at another hottie, and the guys are all... well... gawking at another hottie! Xander trips over his tongue a few times, and I've got to say, I'm actually a bit jealous of Willow now. Because she even has Faith's eye. I can tell she's staring at Willow instead of me, because I don't feel her eyes on me, I can feel her gaze go straight past me. Plus, when I walk up to her and her gang, none of them are looking at me, they're all looking at her.
I do not resent Willow. I do not resent Willow. I do not resent Willow.
"Hey, Faith." I say, and she snaps out of her trance, as do her friends.
"Whoa, hey there, B. What's up?"
"Nothing much, F. Just saying hey." I tease.
She raises an eyebrow at my use of her first initial, but doesn't really react.
"Oh. Hey. You want somethin' else?"
I recoil. Okay, seriously? What is her problem?
"Well... I'm wondering if we're still on for Friday night, or if that was just some joke or something." I say angrily, and she sighs.
Her gang looks back and forth between me and her, as if asking her if I'm actually serious, if she actually asked me out.
"No."
"No?" I ask, my anger rising.
"No, it wasn't a joke. I'm serious, B." She turns to each of her friends, who are staring at her with hidden smirks. "And if any of you dirtbags decide to start jackin' around with me, I'll rip your dicks off with my bare hands, got it?" She growls. None of them take her seriously, but they don't say anything, either.
"Damn, Faith. And here, I thought you didn't like touching dicks." I say, and she flushes. The guys around us howl with laughter, though, and I think I've at least impressed her friends.
"Daaaaaaamn!" One of them said. Unfortunately, he's the one closest to her, and he doubles over, coughing and laughing after she punched him in the gut.
"Anyone else wanna poke fun?" She growls, but we can all see the corner of her mouth twitch.
"Aw, come on, Faith. We're just messin' with ya." One of her other friends says.
"Yeah, not every day one of your conquests bites back!" Another one says. The guys all roll with laughter. I don't. And neither does Faith.
""Conquests"?" I ask her, and I can feel the anger rising again. "Then... Then the rumors are true?" I ask softly, and her eyes turn back to me. I can see her rage fade, and she's almost pleading with me not to leave.
"B, please, no... It's... It's not like that!"
"Well... I'm glad we haven't gone on that date yet." I growl, and I fight down tears. I smack her on the cheek, hard, and I see her reach up with her right hand and cup the spot I slapped her on, then I turned and walked away without another word. But then, just as I reach the bottom step, I turn and walk back up a few steps. "You know, Faith, my friends, Willow and Xander, they warned me that you were no good. They told me that you weren't the relationship type, and that it was like a game to you. See how many girls' pants you can get into. I didn't believe them. I didn't want to believe them. Now I have to go tell them they were right."
"B! It's not like that!" She starts running after me, but I'm gone. She doesn't get too far from her group before she decides it's a bad idea to go after me right now. Or ever.
...
"Buffy?" Willow calls to me as I storm past. She and Xander hop off the bench they were sitting on and come after me.
"What's wrong, Buff?" Xander asks. I storm into the girls' bathroom, and Xander stops at the door, but Willow follows me in.
"Buffy? What's wrong?" She asks, standing behind me in front of one of the mirrors.
"Nothing... I'm sorry, Will. Today was supposed to be for you, and here I am, ruining it by taking everyone's attention away from you."
"Are you kidding? You did me a favor. Don't get me wrong, I like that I caught everyone's eye, and I actually like looking at myself like this, but I felt like I was under a microscope out there. But that's not the point. What's wrong, Buffy?"
I hesitate, then look at her through the mirror.
"It's Faith."
"Oh..."
"You guys were... You were right. I was just talking to her, and one of her friends mentioned something about me just being one of her conquests. He wasn't saying it to hurt me, it was like he assumed Iknew what I was in for."
"Well... maybe... maybe she's changed... Maybe he only thought you were one of her future conquests. Maybe... Maybe she really likes you."
Then, I hear a throat clear. Willow and I whip around, expecting to see Xander standing with the door open, expecting us to invite him in. Instead, I see someone who has every right to be in the girls' bathroom.
Faith.
I glare at her, and feel Willow doing the same.
"B... Can I... Can I talk to ya? Alone?" She's pleading with me, begging.
"You got something to say? You can say it in front of her. And Xander." I say, pretty much quoting what she said yesterday. I walk out of the bathroom and wait for her in the hall, with Xander and Willow beside me.
She runs her hand through the back of her hair and sighs. Apparently, she was really hoping for a one-on-one explanation.
"Okay... Fine..." She says, and starts off very awkwardly. "Look, B... I... I'm... uh... I'm not real good with this... ya know, talkin' about feelin's... stuff... It's... not really one of my... my strong suits... ya know... 'Specially not around tons of people..." She looks around and sees everyone standing around us, staring. All they're seeing is the school's "Tough Girl" reduced to a stammering wretch. "Can... Can we... ya know... find... dind somwhere else...? Ya can bring your friends... I guess..."
"No." I say sternly.
"Buffy..." Willow says softly.
"No, Willow. Whatever she has to say, she can say in public. If she's telling the truth about it really not being what it looks like, and I'm really not one of her "conquests", she can tell everyone." Another tear rolls down my cheek, but I stand my ground.
Faith sighs and turns away, and starts slamming her head against the wall.
"Aargh!" She grunts in frustration. I guess she's really not good at talking about feelings. Then, I notice that her leather jacket friends are gathered around to watch, as well. If they're really friends, they'll probably be there to back her up if things don't go right.
Finally, Faith turned back around towards me, and she manages to look me in the eye, though it looks hard for her to do.
"B... When I first saw ya starin' at me in the hallway, I gotta admit, the first thing I thought was wonderin' how ya were in bed." I flinch, but she continues. "And, so, for a while, yeah, you were gonna be one of my conquests. But... You... You surprized me, okay? I mean, I thought I'd met every typa girl out there. The depressed chicks... The rich chicks... Chicks with a superiority complex... Shy girls too afraid to even say hi to people they see as superior... chicks who don't got it as good as most, but let it go to their heads and think that they're better than everyone else, 'cause they've struggled a bit... brainy chicks... narcisisstic chicks... every kinda chick out there. But then you come along, and at first, I'm thinkin' you gotta be one of those, 'cause all girls fit into one of those categories. But you surprized me. I... I can't figure you out, B... You confuse me... I mean... You're not afraid to speak your mind... You tell it like you see it... You don't lie to fit in... You don't lie to spare peoples' feelin's..." Faith fell silent, looking around for some kind of escape, but everyone around, even her friends, were urging her on. Sighing in defeat, she continued. "At first, I did wanna conquer ya. You're hot, and I thought you'd turn out to be one of those blonde bimbos that basically gets off lookin' in the mirror. Sorry, Harm." Faith looked over at an oblivious Harmony Kendall, and some snickers in the crowd kind of let her relax a bit, but not much.
"But... I actually find you interestin'. Like... I actually wanna hear what you have to say. Like I wanna do more than just get some and get gone. Look... Can I... Can I show ya somethin'?" I notice she put emphasis on the word "you", like it was something she only wanted me to see. I nodded, and Willow and Xander backed away a bit. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a spiral notebook. She walked over and handed it to me.
"Ignore the first half of it... I get bored occasionally." She says, and takes a couple steps back.
I don't ignore it, though. I look at the amazing detail in every single sketch in the notebook. A lot of them are pretty awesom motorcycles, or medieval weaponry. Knives, swords, axes, you name it, it's in there. Finally, I get to a drawing of me. And this is the most perfect drawing I've seen in the book so far. I'm bent over a table in Biology, focused on my assignment. I remember this. This was last friday. Willow, Faith and I were all paired together to work on a little observation lab. Willow and I did all the work. Faith didn't contribute, and now I know why.
She drew me perfectly. I turn the page, and it's another drawing of me. It isn't as perfect as the other one, but that's probably because she was drawing from imagination. I don't remember ever smiling at her like that. There's another one of a motorcycle on the next page, but then the next five drawings in the notebook are of me, each one progressively getting better and better, even though it was all from imagination. The rest of the notebook is empty, and I hand it back to her. She snatches it a bit faster than I think she meant to, like she didn't want anyone to even have the slightest chance to see it, and she carefully stored it in her backpack.
"I... I can't fuckin' stop thinkin' about you, B. All weekend, I was just thinkin' about how I wished I knew where ya lived so I could run by and visit or somethin'. I was just thinkin' how much I was lookin' forward to seein' you at school on Monday. Ya know... the real reason I didn't talk to ya since that first time... I was nervous." She turned around again, laughing at herself. Then, she turned back to me, and I swear, she actually looked like she was in tears. "Ya know, you're the only girl I've ever actually been too nervous to talk to." She chuckles, hiding the choking in her throat. "I... I, um... I mean, I used to watch these movies, right? When I was real little... A little girl, 'bout five or six... in one of... in one of my foster homes. It was one of the few decent ones." I'm stunned. I had no idea she was a foster child. "It... They were those cheesy Disney movies. I always liked imaginin' I was one of the... One of the Princes... that I'd fall in love at first sight, and fight dragons, or witches, or sea demons or some shit like that so I could win the heart of... of Princess Jasmine... or Ariel... or Sleepin' Beauty... Snow White... that chick from Beauty and the Beast... Kinda funny, actually. I knew even back then what I am... A lesbian... I always knew I wanted to play the part of the Prince, to be able to fight for the perfect girl, to fall in love at first sight. And... well, obviously, that just doesn't happen... Not in real life... But it's close enough for me... I... I really like you, B... And hell, if I've got to stand up and fight a dragon now or somethin', I'll do anythin'... Just... Just give me a chance, B... Let me prove that those rumors about me... They may have been true before, but let me prove that they're not true now. Please..." Faith steps back and shifts on her feet, her hands in her pockets, waiting for my answer.
Everyone is staring at me now, including both Faith's friends and Will and Xander.
I'm speechless, but the longer I stay silent, the redder her face turns, and the closer to tears she comes.
"Uh... I... Um..." I'm stammering now. Now I'm the stammering wretch.
"B?" Faith asks, begging me to say yes.
"You... You forgot the most important one..." I managed, and her panic turns to confusion.
"What?"
"Princess... You forgot the most important one... Cinderella... You forgot Cinderella." It's not exactly a yes or a no, but I can't manage to get either yes or no out right now. It's the best I can do.
Luckily, Faith seems to know what I mean, because she grins in relief, and she runs back up to me and throws her arms around my neck. And then we're kissing. And my mind is blank. The only thing I can register is Faith. The sound of her rapid heartbeat and breathing. The taste of her lips and tongue. The smell of motor grease, or whatever it's called. She'd probably been working on her motorcycle or something before she came to school.
And, of course, how amazing it feels to be kissing her.
So, I know that two chapters is kind of a short beginning for a relationship with someone you barely know, but them actually getting together isn't actually the main point of this story. It's what they go through while they're together that I'm working on. In any case, I hope you guys liked this chapter!