I'm... What?
(Buffy's POV)
"Faith?" I whisper to her once Cordelia is out of sight.
"Yeah?" She asks, wiping tears away.
I want to ask if she's okay, but I know that that's a stupid question.
So instead, I just kiss her again.
After a minute, I pull away so I can speak. "You don't have to say it yet, but I'm ready to. So I'm going to say it. I love you, Faith." Faith gasps in surprize, and the guys' eyes grow wide.
...
"Faith?" I ask. Everyone's eyes are darting back and forth between me and Faith, their mouths open wide in shock. "Faith?" I ask again, growing more and more nervous with each second of silence.
"I... um... I-I-I... I mean... uh..." Faith stammers, and she's tensing up.
"Okay, you're wigging out." I mutter, backing away, hurt.
"B..." Faith tries to stop me, but I shrug out of her grasp.
"I'm sorry." I say. "I shouldn't have said that." I turn and run away, and Faith doesn't come after me.
"Buffy?" Willow asks as I dart by her. She and Xander exchange a look and stand up, running after me.
...
"Buffy? You okay?" Will asks me as she slowly walks into the bathroom behind me. Xander stayed outside, of course.
"I will be." I say coldly.
"What's wrong?"
I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of Faith's jacket and blow my nose. (On a paper towel, not the jacket!)
"Um... Cordelia... she showed up and... She started poking fun at Faith and me... You know, 'cause we're together... and at first... it didn't really matter. Faith flipped her off, and we just went back to kissing. But then..."
"Oh my god. Tell me Cordelia did not bring up Faith's attack."
I nod. Willow doesn't know what really happened with Faith, but she does know something bad happened.
"Buffy... can I ask you something? It's about Faith."
I nod in confusion.
"Well, actually, it's more about her attack... Are the rumors true?"
"Which ones?" I ask bitterly.
"That... you know.. Faith was..." Willow leans in close to whisper to me, like we were in a crowded room and she didn't want anyone overhearing, "r-a-p-e-d?" She spells out the word "raped".
I look at her with tears in my eyes. "Yeah... It's true."
Willow's eyes are on fire now. Wait, no, that's not how the phrase goes, is it? Fuck, I can barely even think right now. Um... I meant, flames are dancing in Willow's eyes. That sounds right.
"Do you know who did it?" Willow growls.
"No. No clue. Well... the police don't have a clue. But I have my suspicions."
"Who do you think?"
"I... um... I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because then I'd have to tell you why I think it was him, and that's not really my story to tell."
"Well, I won't ask why. Who do you think it was? Promise I won't tell anyone."
I sigh, looking under the bathroom stalls to see if anyone was in any of them. Finally, I get back up and look Willow in the eyes. "Fine. But you can't tell anyone. Not even Xander."
"My lips are sealed."
I sigh again. "I think it was Mayor Wilkins."
And the look that crosses Willow's face is one of many different mixed emotions. The two prominent ones being frustration and confusion.
"What?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, Buffy, fine. Don't tell me."
"No! Will, I'm serious." I say, looking her dead in the eyes, hoping she could pick up on my sincerity.
She narrows her eyes, but eventually seems to believe that I'm not just trying to avoid the question.
"Alright. So why do you think it's- Wait, no, sorry. Forgot I promised not to ask that."
"It's okay."
"So... why'd you run in here?"
"I... I, um... I told Faith I love her, and..."
"She wigged?"
I nod, tears forming in my eyes again.
"Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry." She wraps her arms around me and holds me tight. I don't know why I'm reacting this way. I already knew that I'd be ready to say it long before Faith was, and that when I finally did say it, that she'd probably freak out. This is nothing I didn't expect. But it still hurts.
The bell rings, announcing the start of the day, so I splash water on my face to cool down, then dry my eyes on a paper towel, and Willow and I meet up with Xander and head off to class.
...
The first half of the day runs kind of smoothly. Faith avoids me, and I avoid her. When we're in the same class, we sit in different seats than we usually do. Normally, we sit right beside each other, and more often than not, her right hand somehow finds its way to rest on my left thigh. She's left handed, so she can get away with that while still taking notes in class. Which she never did in the first place, but still, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
But today, we're constantly avoiding any contact or close proximity to each other. Faith sits in one of the back corners of the room, and I sit on the opposite corner in the front of the room. But I can feel her eyes on me the whole time.
Then comes lunch. I see Faith sitting down at our usual table, with her friends as well as Xander and Willow sitting around her. There's one empty seat left, right beside her. I get my lunch and start to head over to the table, but then I think better of it, so I turn and walk to a different table, three down from the usual table. I can feel everyone's eyes on me now. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Not just Will, Xander, Faith, and Faith's leather-clad friends. The entire lunchroom is staring. The downside of being the only lesbian couple at school, we're kind of celebrities here. Everyone knows about us. So I'm not surprized when Mark Hartman walks up and sits down next to me.
"Hey, there, Summers." He says, flashing a grin my way.
"Hey, there, asswipe." I say, mimicking his tone.
He just grins, though. "That's funny. Listen, the Homecoming Dance is coming up soon, so I was thinking I'll pick you up at seven that night."
I sigh. "You just don't get it, do you?"
His smile falters slightly, but it comes back even wider. "Get what, babe?"
"First of all, I'm not your babe! Second of all, I'm with Faith! And even if I wasn't, I'm still a lesbian. That means no guys. What. So. Ever. Translation: No way, José. Sayonara. See you later. Better luck next time."
"Okay. So. Wear something red the night of Homecoming, it'll go better with the red tie I'm gonna wear, plus it really makes my eyes pop." He grins again, certain that I'm just playing hard to get.
"Dude, seriously? Just back off, and I won't hurt your manhood."
"Sure thing, babe. I'll talk to ya later, okay?" He leans in to kiss me, but is suddenly stopped by a strong grip on his shoulder that makes his eyes water.
"Hey, she said back off, asshole." I look up and see Faith glaring down at him, rage in her eyes. From the look on Willow, Xander, and Faith's gang's faces, they're just as surprized at Faith's speed as I am.
Mark brushes Faith's hand off and stands up.
"She's just playing hard to get. Obviously, you're not satisfying her enough, so I'm gonna take it upon myself to-" There was only five hits. Faith's fist hit his face. His face hit the table beside us. He fell down and hit the floor. Then he bounced and hit the floor again. Finally, there was the metaphorical pin hitting the floor showing how quiet it is in the room.
Faith's eyes are wild, but she's holding herself back right now. She takes a deep breath and looks at me.
"You alright?" She asks after a minute.
"Yeah. I'm fine." I say. She nods and starts to walk back to her table, but I stop her, turning her around to face me.
I don't say a word as I pull her in for a kiss. Her arms automatically wrap around my waist, holding me close, so I wrap my arms around her neck and arch my back into the kiss. Our tongues meet and embrace. I can feel my mouth vibrate against hers as I moan.
Finally, we separate, and Faith's grin is a mile wide. I catch my breath, then grin back at her. She puts her arm around my shoulders and leads me back to our table. I totally forget about my lunch as I follow her back and sit down beside her.
Everyone goes on talking like nothing happened, which I'm thankful for.
"Hey, Buff, wasn't that the dirtbag you KO'd a while back in gym?" Jason asks, and everyone smirks around me.
"Yeah. That's the one."
"You want him to back off, you've got to stop dropping subtle hints like knockin' him on his ass. You've got to go for the bolder gestures. You know, something that says "back off, or I'll rip your testicles off and use them as lucky dice on my rear-view mirror." Something that'll discourage him a little more than breaking his nose repeatedly." Faith explains, and the guys at the table shift in their seats uncomfortably, scooting slightly away from Faith.
I smirk at the newfound tension at the table.
"Fuck, Faith. You know, you may look all feminine and whatnot, but you're a scary bitch, ya know?" Jack says, and Faith glares at him. He whimpers.
"Try that again." Faith says. "I thought we were all in agreement that that word would not be used to describe me."
"Fuck, sorry, Faith. Just slipped out, that's all. You're not feminine, okay? You're a total macho tough-girl... I... I didn't mean anything by it. But you are a scary bitch."
"Damn right I am." She grins, and I roll my eyes at her. "What?" She asks me.
"I didn't say anything." I reply.
"What?"
"Nothing! I didn't say anything!" I laugh.
"But what's with the eye-roll, B?"
"You really want me to say it out loud?" I tease. Faith flushes slightly, obviously figuring out what I'm talking about, and I laugh. "I didn't think so."
"Okay, am I correct in assuming that, since Faith isn't bragging about it, it's not some kind of sexual innuendo?" Jason asks.
"Correct. No sexual innuendos here." I confirm.
"Well, hell, now you've got to tell us!"
I look at Faith, who glares at Jason.
"No, no telling of any kind will be done." She growls, but Jason isn't backing down.
"Oh come on, "B"! Give us the dish on our dear Faith!"
"No! No dishing!" Faith growls again.
I just watch their interactions with a smile as everyone else looks back and forth in confusion.
"Come on, Buffy!" Jason says, grinning.
"Okay, well-" I'm stopped by Faith's hand covering my mouth.
"B, don't you dare!" She mutters under her breath. "Come on, I got my rep to protect!" She whispers in my ear. "I'll do whatever you want, just don't say anything, please."
I pull away and grin evilly.
"Come on, Faith, how often do I get to embarrass you like this?"
"Buffy, please!" She all but whines.
I turn back to the group and smile. Faith buries her face in her arms on the table and groans.
"Well, I'm not going to say anything more than this, but let's just say, Faith's whole tough-girl façade? It's less "tough girl" and more "closet romantic"."
"Wait, closet romantic? Faith?" Everyone starts laughing at the table, but the laughter fades when they see how serious I am. "Okay, what exactly are you talking about? We're gonna need more details than that." Jack says, and Faith looks helplessly at me.
"B, you've had you're fun. Please, for the love of god, drop it."
"What am I gonna tell them, Faith?" I tease. "That you cry at the end of Titanic? That you like to have picnics under the stars?"
"B, please, just shut up!" She whimpers as the guys all stare at her in surprize and the obvious teasing soon to come.
"Faith, there is nothing wrong with being romantic." I tease, poking her in the ribs. She flinches away, resigned to her fate.
"Alright. Come on, guys. Let it out. Just let it out now so I can get on to the kicking your asses part of this discussion." She says to Jason and the others.
"Very well, Juliet." Jack teases. "Or, wait, would you be the Romeo of this story?"
"Definitely Romeo." Jason agrees. "It's the masculinity."
"Okay, there is nothing wrong with Romeo and Juliet, okay?" Faith says, stunning everyone to silence. "You know, for a supposed "romantic" story, it's extremely violent and bloody, and the two main characters both end up killing themselves in the end. Of course, if any of you assholes had ever even bothered to read it instead of mockin' those who did, you'd have known that."
Then, Faith does something that none of us would ever have expected in our wildest dreams. And I've had some wild dreams. (Mind out of the gutters now, perverts.)
She actually stands up, looks down at me and smiles as she quotes Romeo and Juliet. Out loud.
"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy. Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself."
Everyone in the lunchroom, including the teachers, once again stares at Faith, open-mouthed. After a couple minutes of silence, everyone starts cheering, and she takes a big, dramatic bow.
"Okay, um... I'm sorry, but I don't think it's possible to tease her after that." I say. And Jason and the guys nod in agreement.
"But, um, Faith, I thought you were the Romeo here?" Willow says, and we all turn to her in confusion.
"What?" Faith asks.
"I thought you were the Romeo out of you and Buffy. You were just quoting Juliet, not Romeo." Then, everyone turns back to Faith and smirks as she sits back down, scowling
"I guess I was wrong. Looks like we can still tease her after that." I say, and she shoots a glare at me. "But, let's just lay off her now." Ilook around meaningfully to everyone else, and they all nod in agreement again.
"Whatever, I just can't wait for gym. I hope we're playin' dodgeball again." Faith grumbles, and I smile as I kiss her cheek.
...
We did play dodgeball again in gym today. Faith is one of the team captains, and, of course, Mark is the other.
And Mark chooses first.
"Summers." He grins at me, and Faith glares at him.
"Dude, stay the hell away from my girlfriend unless you want to repeat the events of lunch earlier." She says, but he doesn't back down. Luckily, Dawn steps up, and I shoot her a look that I hope conveys how grateful I am to her. She nods, showing that she understands. Ever since she caught wind of what he said about Faith a while back, before I beat the shit out of him, she's decided she despises him just as much as I do, and we've actually grown a bit closer, so I really am grateful that she took this bullet for me.
Mark scowls at her before he speaks. "No, I meant the other Summers. Buffy."
"Sorry, Mark. Shoulda specified." Faith grins. She and Dawn actually get along now, too. "Buffy, get your blonde ass up here." She grins at me in a way that I can't be mad at her for that comment. I go to stand by my girlfriend, and for good measure, I pull her in for a searing kiss.
The whistle blows before it can go on for long, and we both turn to the coach.
"Look here, now, girls, I got nothing against this whole lesbian thing, but don't let it into my gymnasium! This ain't a place for making out, this is a place for getting the tar beat out of you, to toughen you up for the big, bad world! Hartman, choose your next player, and get on with it!"
And so Faith and Mark go back and forth picking players. We end up with Willow and Xander on our team, because Faith picked them right after she picked me, but she completely avoided any of her leather jacket-wearing friends.
Uh-oh. Looks like Faith's about to get back at them for lunch. I think humorously to myself.
Finally, the teams are chosen, and I shoot a look at Faith, smiling as we get ready to begin.
However, I have a bad feeling about this game as Mark shoots looks at his friends, and they all nod in understanding.
The coach blows his whistle, and as usual, the gym descends into madness. Faith and I take out a couple of people immediately.
After about five minutes, the herd's been thinned a bit on both sides. Willow and Xander are still in it, as is Faith, Mark, Jason, Jack, and, of course, me. The rest of the Leathers are out, as are most of the other people whose names I don't even know. There are about seven people left on each team. Then, three more members of our team drop, leaving Willow, Xander, me, and Faith. Jack and Jason go down, too, leaving Mark and four of his friends still standing.
I throw my ball and almost get one of them out, but he dodges. All five of them throw their balls at Faith right then, and pick up new balls, throwing them at Faith as well.
The first volley of balls hit Faith dead on, but they kept picking up balls and throwing them. Faith is on the ground now, curling up in the fetal position, but they keep throwing balls at her.
"Cut it out!" I scream at them. "She's out already! Stop it!" I run over and push Mark down on the ground. His friends all turn to me and take me out as well, so I walk back to Faith and help her up, and we start to walk away, but I turn back to Mark. "What the hell is your problem?!" I shout at him.
"His problem is that you keep rejectin' him. Hurts his manhood. Damages his reputation as the guy who can get any girl he wants." Faith says. "Only one other girl has rejected him before and never gave in."
"Yeah? Well that's just tough shit. Get it through your skull, Mark. You and me? Never. Gonna. Happen. Got it? N-E-V-E-R, never! I am a lesbian! Get it? G-A-Y, gay! That's me! And I have a G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D! Girlfriend!" With that, I turn around and walk away with Faith. In the commotion, Willow and Xander had each picked up two balls, and now throw them Mark's friends, getting them all out at once. The last guy looks at Xander and Willow as they separate, moving to opposite sides of the court.
Mark picks up a ball and Will and Xander do the same. I can see his thoughts clearly. He thinks if he can get Xander out, get the guy out, then the girl, Willow, wouldn't pose much of a threat, so he could get her out easily.
It doesn't work that way, though. He throws his ball at Xander, and Xander dodges, then he and Willow throw their balls simultaneously and both connect. But they don't stop there. They give him a taste of his own medicine, and they keep picking up balls and launching them faster than I thought they could. But they shouldn't have done that, because now Mark is ignoring the constant whistling coming from the coach, telling him he's out, and Mark picks up another ball and throws it at Xander, hard. The ball connects with Xander's gut, and Xander doubles over, coughing, then he does the same to Willow, catching her in the head.
He only hit each of them once, but he was throwing to kill. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.)
"That's it! Game over!" The coach yells. "Hartman! Principal! Now!"
Mark glares at the coach, then smirks and mutters "whatever" under his breath and walks out of the gym.
"Damn. Someone needs to knock him down to size." I say, looking at Faith, who looks pale. "Faith? What is it, baby?"
"That... That smirk... I recognize that smirk..." She says, still staring at Mark as he swings the doors to the gymnasium shut.