Prompt: Kimiko has to flirt with a young man so he will let them inside a building to get the wu, and Clay and Omi try not to laugh while Raimundo tries not to loose it. (Submitted by anonymous on tumblr.)

"You sure the Wu's in there, Dojo?" Clay whispered as he peered around the old sandstone building. The dragon nodded and tightened his grasp on Clay's shoulder.

"Would this rash on my tail lie to you?" he asked in turn and waved the offending body part in the cowboy's face. Clay, to his credit, didn't even blink, though Kimiko grimaced openly and Raimundo couldn't help but shudder at the sight of Dojo's latest reaction to the most recently activated Wu.

Omi, however, didn't seem to notice how far along Dojo's ailment had progressed; his attention was occupied with observing the dark, squat building that stood across the street from them. "There are no windows we can climb through, and it seems as if there is only one door through which we may enter. He pointed at the door in question, and then to the slim figure that stood in front of it. "But it is being closely watched, and the guard didn't let me through when I respectfully asked for permission to enter earlier."

"Yeah, I don't reckon mentioning 'business with mystical artifacts far beyond the comprehension of one so average and small-minded as yourself' as your reason for going in there sat well with him at all, little buddy," Clay muttered, and with a sheepish grin, Omi rubbed his still-sore backside ruefully at the memory of the next part of the watchman's initial response.

Raimundo narrowed his eyes in concentration. "So how are we going to get in?" he asked just as a thought struck him. He looked at Kimiko excitedly. "Think your dad could get us a couple of invites, Kim? Like that time at the emperor's palace, remember?"

She glared up at him. "Of course I do - if I recall correctly, you three were making bets on me the entire time." The boys (and Dojo) froze in concern and legitimate safety for their well-being as Kimiko's angry gaze flickered over each of them in turn, before she closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "My father's got a lot of connections, Rai, but I highly doubt he's got any for a place like this." She paused for a moment. "Then again, maybe there is something I can do to get us in there after all."

Raimundo's face lit up immediately. "Really?"

Clay looked between Kimiko and Raimundo silently for a few moments before nodding and smiling knowingly. "Something tells me you're really not going to like this, Rai."

-x-

A short while later, Raimundo's good mood had been quickly replaced by obstinate grumpiness. "I don't like this. I don't like this at all."

"Quit acting like a child, Rai," Kimiko replied, adjusting her skirt and the straps of her boots as she did so. "Unless you'd like to be the one taking one for the team instead?"

Dojo interjected before Raimundo could speak. "Hate to break up this little lovers' quarrel," he said over the indignantly incoherent splutters and counterarguments, "but I don't know how much longer my tail's going to last - let's bag that Wu and head home, ASAP. I need some ointment for this thing."

Kimiko sighed. "Anything to make you stop talking about your latest affliction. Come on." She began to walk purposefully toward the building across the street, and after sharing a silent look between them, the boys followed soon after.

"Remember," Dojo whispered from beneath the wide brim of Clay's hat, "stay calm and don't do anything rash. Leave all the talking to Kim."

"Yes," Omi said. "Let us rely on her feminine willies to get to the Shen Gong Wu - my tiger instincts tell me it is the right thing to do."

When no one bothered to deign the small monk with a reply, Dojo blinked in confusion. "Hey, isn't anyone going to correct him?"

Clay shook his head and nudged the dragon back into the safety of the hat as the group approached the guard. "Honestly, little fella, right now I think I'm more worried about Rai." He nodded in the direction of the younger boy with a smile. "Just look at him."

With his hands jammed into his pockets and eyes focused sullenly on the ground behind the dark glasses all three boys wore as part of their plan to get into the building, Raimundo was the very picture of discontent. He refused to straighten up and play the role he'd been designated until the guard waiting in front of the door approached them and Kimiko raised her foot and jammed the very pointy heel of her boot straight into the toes of Raimundo's shoes. Raimundo swallowed a yelp as the guard glanced over their group, though his glare intensified when he saw how the guard's gaze lingered on Kimiko far longer than what the Shoku Warrior would deem necessary.

Like Omi, Clay, and himself, the guard was dressed in a dark suit and sunglasses, and he did not seem entirely pleased to see them. "State your name and business," he demanded tersely. From where they had been standing across the street earlier, the guard had seemed skinny and vulnerable. Up close, however, it was obvious that his slender frame belied a wiry strength; they would have to be extremely careful, and so Kimiko chose her words carefully.

"My name isn't all that important," she said, doing her best to play the part of the street-smart and experienced business woman she was trying to convince the guard she was, "and these are my boys. I've got some business with your boss." She moved to get past the guard and to the door, but he stepped in her path and glared down at her.

"Your name and business," he repeated.

Kimiko swallowed nervously and desperately hoped that the guard wouldn't notice her discomfort. "Name? Uh, yes, the name is..." Her eyes darted around the surrounding structures before her gaze finally settled on a bright yellow shape that rose above the roof of the gas station on the corner. "Name's Shelly. Miss Shelly." Kimiko fluttered her eyelashes and gave the guard her coyest smile. "What's yours? Strong guy like you must have a good name." She did not notice when, behind her, Omi and Clay moved simultaneously and stealthily to restrain Raimundo and stop him from going at the guard head-on.

Fortunately, the guard didn't notice them. He seemed a bit nervous as he ran a hand through his bright purple-and-green mohawk (Kimiko briefly wondered what brand he used to dye his hair) while answering her. "Friends c-call me C-c-c-cobra."

"Well, C-c-c-cobra," Kimiko said with a smirk as she twirled a piece of hair around her finger. "Like I said, I've got some business with your boss. Come find me after, though - I'm a bit of a snakecharmer, you know." She winked at him.

At that moment, Clay realized that he'd reined in bulls that were easier to keep at bay than an angry Raimundo, and that something needed to be done immediately before the younger boy began to wreak havoc and ruined their plans in his fit of jealousy. "Pardon me, ma'am," he interjected, "but we need to be going."

Kimiko nodded at Clay and turned back to the guard. "Be a dear and let us in now, Cobra?" she asked sweetly. The guard simply looked at her for a moment before he seemed to realize what she asked, and hurriedly opened the door to let the group through. Kimiko's smile grew wider, and she blew the guard a kiss as she and the other monks made their way through. "See you around, stud," she said to him as the door closed behind them.

When he knew the door was properly closed, Clay acted quickly and summoned up a surge of stone to act as effective blockade against the door. When he was certain that the wall of earth met his expectations, however, he let out a long, relieved laugh, and was joined quickly by both Omi and Dojo.

"Oh my, apple pie," Clay managed between peals of laughter. "Rai, you should've seen your face! I swear, it got so hot and red, we could've fried an egg on your forehead and made ourselves a fine little omelet!"

Dojo had sprawled himself across Clay's hat, all memory of his rash seemingly forgotton. "Don't forget, my little windy Casanova - jealousy is the green-eyed monster that we all know so well! You've got to try and hide it better."

Even Omi had a hard time trying to speak again. "I haven't seen anything so amusing since I found Dojo's diary!" He stopped laughing momentarily. "Then again, I haven't seen anything quite so disturbing since then, either."

Raimundo ignored them and turned to Kimiko. "As your leader, I'm forbidding you from ever doing anything like that again. It was way too, uh..."

"Dangerous?" Kimiko offered flatly.

The Shoku Warrior nodded. "Yes. Dangerous."

"Fine." Kimiko nodded and pulled her skirt and shirt down to more conventional lengths. "Anything else, oh almighty leader?"

Raimundo shook his head. "As your leader, no," he said. "But as your boyfriend, please don't ever do anything like that ever again."

Kimiko smiled. "Alright," she said. "I can do that - now let's go find that Wu."