I'm... What?
(Omniscient POV)
Slowly, Buffy felt a pressure building inside her, building, building, building, and the pressure caused her hips to start moving erratically as she drew closer and closer to her finish.
"Let it go, Buffy." Faith whispers in her ear. "Let it go."
And with that, the pressure is released all at once, feeling like an explosion of pleasure deep inside her, and Faith continues to grind down, hard and fast as she tries to prolong it as much as she can, coaxing Buffy's orgasm to its limits. Seeing Buffy come undone like that, knowing that she was the cause, Faith felt her own orgasm rip through her, and despite the pure simplicity of everything, and the amount of experience she'd had with sex, she'd never had a climax so intense before in her life.
Finally, Buffy comes down from her high, leaving her shaking and whimpering and exhausted. Faith sits up, pulling Buffy into her lap and hugging her tightly.
"I got ya, B. I got ya." Faith whispers, soothing her, stroking her hair as she whispers sweet nothings into her ear, and Buffy's shaking arms wrap around the brunette.
"I love you, Faith." Buffy coos.
"I love you, too, Buffy." Faith says back. She holds Buffy like that until her breathing evens out, and the blonde falls asleep, smiling happily as Faith lays her down on the bed. Faith takes up a spot on the bed next to her, wrapping her arms tightly around Buffy and quickly falling asleep holding the girl that Faith is certain is the love of her life. Something Faith had never believed to exist before.
...
Joyce stood in the doorway, watching the two girls sleep, holding each other tightly, and she swore, she'd never seen Buffy so happy in her life. It brought tears of joy to her eyes. Still, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of news Faith had received that was so terrible that she wouldn't tell Buffy until several days after she herself learned. Whatever it was, Joyce knew that both girls had a long struggle ahead of them. And she hoped that their relationship could survive it, but it wasn't likely for children at their age.
...
(Buffy's POV)
I wake up first, wincing at the bright sunlight streaming in through the window, but as my eyes adjust, I finally see Faith laying beside me, still sound asleep, her arms wrapped tightly around me like she's terrified I'm going to leave. She looks so vulnerable right now, and I'm amazed that I'm able to witness something so rare. I know that as soon as she wakes up, the vulnerability will be covered by a mask of bravery, and maybe even indifference.
I smile and lean over to kiss her on the forehead. She sighs, but doesn't wake up, so I just curl up in her arms and try to go back to sleep. Of course, the second I manage to do that, Faith stirs in her sleep, and I'm awake again.
I smile again at the cute little sound she just made, but the smile fades when I realize the sound was a whimper. Her eyes are clenched shut, and she's breathing quickly and erratically.
"Buffy..." She whimpers.
"I'm here, Faith." I whisper, and I kiss her on the cheek. She holds on to me tighter, and her body starts twitching.
"Please... No... Don't... Don't leave..."
"I'm not going to leave, Faith. I promise, I'm not going to leave."
"Don't leave me... Don't... Don't leave me." She hugs me tighter, and I feel tears running down her cheeks. "Please, don't leave me, Buffy." She sobs into my neck, and I know she's awake now, so I hold her tighter, too.
"I'm not going to leave you, Faith. I'm not going to leave you."
"Please, I love you. I need you."
"I know, baby. I know. I love you, too. I'll never leave you." I whisper, kissing the side of her head. My heart is breaking, hearing her breaking in front of me.
"I need you, Buffy. I need you..."
"I'm here. I'm here, baby. I love you."
She finally starts to calm down, but I don't relax my grip on her, even when she lets her arms slide down to her own sides, and her breathing returns to normal.
Finally, after about another ten minutes, I pull back and look in her eyes. They're still red-rimmed from her crying.
"Thanks." She whispers, looking away.
"You're welcome. Faith, you know I love you, right?"
She hesitates for a while before she answers. "Yeah, B. I know." She says with a smile. She starts to get up, but I pull her back down.
"Faith... I love you. I'm in love with you. I'm serious. And I'm not going to leave you."
She stares into my eyes for a few minutes before she finally lets the tears flow again, and she slumps into me, sobbing against my chest.
"I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm so, so sorry."
"For what?" I ask. "What do you have to be sorry for?"
"I'm sorry for... everything... I'm sorry that I dragged you into all of this... I'm sorry that I went and got pregnant from the rape... I'm sorry that... I'm sorry that I'm just such a fuckin' mess."
"Faith, none of this is your fault. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Yes, things could have gone better, but I want to be here for you, through all of this. I want to be the one to see you when you're vulnerable like this and help make you strong again. I want to be your shoulder to cry on, and your cuddlebug at night."
She chuckles slightly, but I keep going.
"Faith, I don't want you to apologize for any of the stuff that's going on right now, because none of it is your fault. It is happening to you, not because of you. You are the victim in this, and I want to be the one who supports and protects you through all of this. You've been the tough girl for so long, Faith, and I know it's got to be hard, but you don't have to be the tough girl anymore, because I'm here for you. I'm here with you. And I know that I can't possibly understand what you're going through, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try."
(Faith's POV)
I nod, but look down. How the hell could I have gotten so lucky? I couldn't have. This is all way too good to be true. Good shit like this doesn't happen to people like me. Everythin' else about this sitch: the rape, the pregnancy, the bein' hopelessly in love with a girl that's so far outta my league, they had to create a new league just for her... I can believe all that. That figures for people like me. But actually gettin' said "girl that's way outta my league", and, on top of that, havin' her sayin' that she's gonna help me through the rape and pregnancy 'cause she actually wants to? No way in hell that's real. This is all just some hallucination that's gonna fade away as soon as I wake up, and I'll have this perfect reality torn away from me as punishment for actin' up when I was a kid.
Still... I'll be damned if I'm not gonna milk this hallucination for everythin' it's got before it fades, 'cause it feels pretty damn good to let it go, cryin' into Buffy's shoulder, and havin' her hold me this tight and tellin' me everythin' I wanna hear and more. She won't keep these promises. She can't keep these promises. But it's hella good hearin' them now.
"Shh... It's okay, Faith. Let it all out." She whispers to me, holdin' me tighter and tighter with each second.
We stay like that for a long time before I finally calm down again, and I pull back, wipin' my eyes. "Should probably get downstairs."
"Yeah..." She says hesitantly. "Faith?"
"Yeah, B?"
"You know I'm serious, right? I mean... You know that I really do love you, right?"
I don't answer for a minute. Finally, though, I smile with everythin' but my eyes, 'cause I can't fake that kinda smile, flashin' my dimples. "Yeah, B. I know. Love you, too. Now, come on, your mom's probably already downstairs making breakfast."
She doesn't look convinced, but thankfully, she drops it and nods. "Most likely. Let's go, I'm starving." She smiles, and, like me, her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. I'm so confused right now. About everything. I love this, Buffy, the whole family scene over here, even Dawn ain't too bad. But I hate this at the same time. I hate that I'm draggin' Buffy down with my bullshit, and that we're just goin' through the motions of bein' these teenagers in love. I mean, fuck's sake, of course I love her. No lyin' about that. But that's why I hate this. Because I'm in love with a girl who could never truly love me back. I'm broken, in more ways than one.
Still, even though we're just goin' through the motions, even though I hate what I'm doin' to her, and to myself, and how she's managed to worm her way into my heart and take up permanent residence there, I can't bring myself to do what I know I should. It would be better for everyone if I was strong enough to say goodbye to her, get out of her life, but I'm not. I need her. But not in the good way. Buffy's like an addiction to heroin or somethin'. You do it once, and you're hooked, and suddenly, everythin' makes ya crave it more and more. That wasn't supposed to be a sex thing, but it applies there, too.
It would be better, healthier, even, if I could stay away from her. She'd move on, find some hot number to fuck, maybe even marry one day, get into a good school, do whatever the hell she wants to do with her life, and never look back at the blip of a mistake in her life, the broken fuck-up named Faith Lehane. She'd have two kids, little boy and girl, big house, white picket fence, two-stall garage, and a dog. Probably a beagle or somethin', 'cause she's, like, in love with Snoopy. And I want all that for her. She deserves so much more than me, because she's such an amazin' girl. And all I'd have to do to give her that is to leave and not look back. But no matter how much I know I should do that, no matter how hard I try to get myself to make the hard decision, I can't do it. Because I'm addicted to Buffy Summers. And I know that, as much as I don't deserve her, and that I should leave, I'm not goin' to. In fact, I'm gonna fight like hell to keep her. I'm gonna do everythin' in my power to make myself deserve her.
And with that resolve firmly planted in my mind, I kiss her softly on the lips, then take her hand and lead her downstairs, where, sure enough, we're greeted by the sounds and smells of bacon fryin' in a skillet on the stove, Ms. Summers slavin' over the heat.
(Buffy's POV)
"Good morning, girls." Mom says with a knowing look thrown at me.
I blush at the look, but Faith seems unfazed by it.
"Mornin', Ms. S."
"Did you two have fun last night?"
I cough and sputter, accidentally spraying Faith with the orange juice I has just taken a drink of. "Wh-wh-wh-what?!" I cough out.
"I didn't mean anything by it, Buffy." Mom deadpans. "I just meant, you invited Faith over to talk and hang out last night, you had pizza, which you never bothered to throw the box away, by the way."
"Sorry." I say sheepishly.
Mom smiles reassuringly. "So, again I ask, did you two have fun?"
Faith fidgets, so I start to jump in to answer, but Faith beats me to it.
"Actually, I told B what I found out at the hospital. It's... it's not good, Ms. S. But, I figure, Buffy's decided that she wants to stick around and help me through it, so you deserve to know, too." Faith takes a deep breath and closes her eyes to summon the courage while my mom watches her, waiting.
"Faith, you don't have to-" I start, but Faith shakes her head to silence me.
"Yeah, I do, B. She's been nothin' but supportive, even though we started off on the wrong foot. Even though I'm pretty much the guy every parent dreads their daughter bringin' home, she's been supportive and open, so she sure as hell deserves to know what her daughter is gettin' into."
Mom and I both stare at Faith in profound shock and awe as she continues to gathe her nerves.
"Ms. Summers... You know that I was raped. Well... it's affected me in more ways than one. One thing, the doc says that I've got some case of minor PTSD or somethin', 'cause I keep havin' nightmares about it, and it's made me nervous to be physically close to pretty much everyone. But that's not the main thing. The main thing goin' on is... Well... the guy that did it... he didn't exactly use protection, and, well..."
"Oh my god..." My mom gasps, and I stare at Faith in surprise. I actually didn't think she'd do it. I thought she'd change her mind at the lsat second and just stick with the PTSD thing. But my heart swells at the fact that she was able to gather the courage to actually tell my mom.
"Yeah... That's the sitch, alright... The bastard kinda left somethin' behind for me. I'm... I'm pregnant."
My mom is speechless as her eyes dart back and forth between me and Faith. Faith starts to panic when she sees my mom's reaction, so I move closer to her and put my hand on her back in support.
Finally, my mom clears her throat to reply. "I-I-I-I... I, um... Oh..." She stops and takes a deep breath. "What are you planning to do about it?"
"I'm not going to get an abortion. Like I told Buffy, I don't believe abortion's right. It's just... wrong, in my opinion. I mean... little guy growin' inside me had nothin' to do with what happened to me. He's the result of what happened to me, not the cause of it. Wouldn't be right to punish him or her because of what his father did to me. So... I know I'm gonna carry this kid to term, but beyond that... I don't know."
My mom nodded, and I can tell she's relieved about that. I get my profound distaste for abortion from her, for sure.
"I mean... I hope you're okay with that... I'm not gonna abort whether you're okay with it or not, but... I hope you're okay with it, 'cause I really need help with this, and... I just..."
"You need Buffy." My mom says, nodding in understanding.
"Yeah..." Faith admits after a beat, looking down. My heart soars, despite the seriousness of the situation. Faith needs me! I wap my arms around Faith and kiss her sweetly on the lips.
"I'm not going anywhere, Faith." I whisper.
"Neither am I." My mom says, wrapping her arms around us. "Faith, for what it's worth, I know it's going to be hard. For you and for Buffy. For all of us, really, because I know how much you mean to Buffy. So seeing you hurt hurts Buffy, and, by extension, me as well. But I do believe you've made the right decision."
"Thanks, Ms. S." Faith whispers, and relaxes into mine and my mom's arms, even hugging us back. "I... I don't know what the hell I did to get this, but, fuck, whatever it was, I thank god I did it."
"I think it had something to do with you pouring your heart out to me outside the girls' bathroom in front of the entire school." I joke, and Faith chuckles.
"Yeah... Must be it."
My mom steps back and looks at us in amusement. "I'd like to hear that story." She says as she turns back to breakfast. I sit down at the counter, because I'm of no use at all when it comes to cooking, but Faith steps up and starts doing something with flour and the bacon grease.
"Hope you don't mind." Faith says to my mom.
"Of course." She says, smiling.
"I didn't know you could cook." I say in surprise.
"Yeah, it's just... It's somethin' the fosters suggested I do when I got frustrated or somethin'. Kinda like stress relief to keep me from goin' off and doin' somethin' I'd regret. First time I tried it, I almost burnt down the kitchen, 'cause I had no idea what the hell I was doin', and I didn't realise you were supposed to actually flip the bacon every couple of minutes. But then, Linda gave me some pointers, and i just started figurin' things out for myself after that. Got pretty good at it fast. Fact, actually been thinkin' about goin' to culinary school after High School."
"That sounds lovely." My mom says, impressed.
"I thought you wanted to be a social worker?" I ask.
"Yeah, there's that, too. But I've heard it's good if you've got a backup plan, too. I mean, I've heard both ways, like, if you've got a backup plan, you're not 100% devoted to your "Plan A". But I lean more towards the whole backup plan thing, and, for me, culinary seems like a decent backup plan to me." Faith explains as she pours a bit of milk into the pan with the bacon grease and flour, stirring it all together with a whisk.
"I think it's a wonderful plan. Both of them, actually." My mom says, and I shrink where I sit. My mom's been bugging me a lot lately about having a plan after high school.
"What about you, B? What do you wanna do?" Faith asks.
"I... I actually don't know." I admit. "I mean, I've never really been... passionate about anything. I really don't know what I want to do."
"Well, knowin' you, you could probably do anythin' you wanted to do, s'long as you've got the means to do it. Hell, even if ya don't have the means to do it, you're stubborn enough, you'd find the means." She adds a bit more milk, and a little more water. "Hey, Ms. S? Could ya get me the salt and pepper, please?"
"Oh, yes." Mom says as she fetches the salt and pepper.
"Thanks." Faith says, and salts the... whatever she's doing. I can't really see from my angle, but I don't want to get in her way. She sets the salt down and shakes some black pepper into it, stirring constantly with the whisk.
"My, Faith, that smells good." Mom says, and I have to agree. Still can't see it, but it does smell good.
"Eh, nothin' special. Just somethin' Linda taught me how to do. Figure, it's the least I could do to repay you for the way you've been to me."
"Oh, don't mention it. I'm just sorry that someone as young and full of life as you is having to go through all of this."
"I deal. Helps to have awesome support, though. I mean, you and Buffy are just... amazin', and the fosters are doin' everythin' they can to help me. But still... with everythin' goin' on in that house... I mean... Everyone's always lookin' at me with those eyes, ya know? The pity, like "Poor Faith, no one say anythin' to her about it, because she's broken. Everyone be nice to her." I just can't take it sometimes? I mean, yeah, in a house with six foster kids, it's nice to be the center of attention once in a while, so ya don't feel invisible. But now, no one ever lets me have any time by myself, there always has to be someone with me, 'cause Linda and Carrie are afraid I'm gonna do somethin' to hurt myself. And that means that I have to deal with those pitying judgemental eyes everywhere I go... So... I guess... I just wanna say thanks... I mean, I don't get those eyes around here. I mean, I'm not invisible here, but it's not like everythin' around here is centered on keepin' me from breakin' down or freakin' out. I feel more at home here, I guess, is what I'm tryin' to say. And... yeah, just... thanks."
My mom wraps her arms around Faith again, but Faith shrugs her off.
"Sorry, just... I gotta keep stirrin' this, or it'll burn." She explains, and Mom chuckles.
"I'm sorry, I just got swept up in the moment."
"Nah, it's alright. I mean, don't mean to sound presumptuous or anythin', but you actually kinda remind me of my own mom."
"Well... thank you..." Mom says, a tear in her eye. Faith nods, but focuses on what she's doing.
"There... that should do it." She says as she turns the burner off under the pan she's using, then moves it to a cooler burner.
The oven beeps, and my mom opens it to pull a tray of large biscuits out, setting the cookie sheet on a pair of pot holders on the counter so the counter top didn't scorch.
"I could do toast." I suggest, wanting to fill the silence with something, even if I know my mom's going to say no. I'm not the best cook around. Even toast comes out of the toaster pretty much near ash when I'm the one using it.
"No, honey, this'll be fine." My mom hurries to say, as per my prediction. I smirk, and Faith looks curiously at us.
"Why not? Toast sounds pretty good to me."
"We won't have toast. We'll have bread-shaped piles of ashes that somehow manage to hold themselves together." My mom counters, and I shrug. It's become a joke between the two of us that I can't cook.
"Yeah, my most successful cooking experiment was when I tried to boil an egg."
"And what did you do wrong that time?" Mom jokes, and I blush.
"I forgot to put the egg in the pot, and the water all evaporated."
"And...?"
"Set fire to the stove."
"Which you then...?"
"Tried to put out with the sink sprayer."
"Which was a bad idea because...?"
"It was an electric stove."
Faith is near hysterics now as she wipes tears of laughter from her eyes. Mom and I both start laughing, too, and it all just feels so natural, I can easily see it being this way for the rest of our lives. Of course, there'll be the absence of a certain mom once Faith and I get our own place, and- Wait a sec? Am I really actually planning to move in with Faith? Or, rather, get our own place together with her? Come on, we're only seventeen! I mean, I only just turned seventeen! I'm still in the sixteen-and-a-half-year-old Buffy frame of mind!
Mom and Faith both seem to realize my bewilderment, because they turn to look at me in confusion.
"What's up, B?" Faith asks.
"Oh, nothing, just... I was thinking... Damn, we had marshmallows. I could have made s'mores." I deflect the question. Mom and Faith both start laughing again.
"Damn, B! And that was your most successful cooking experiment?!"
"Yeah." I admit. Because it's actually the truth. The worst one... Ugh, it gives me the heeby-jeebies just thinking about it.
"What was the worst one, then?" Faith asks. Again, heeby-jeebies.
Mom turns away and shivers, but she chuckles under her breath as she busies herself getting plates down for the three of us.
"Oh... uh... Well..."
"Come on, B. How bad can it be?" She asks.
"Creature from the Black Lagoon..." I mutter under my breath.
"Come again?"
"Oh, it's... um... Well, the thing is, I was trying to make soup. Because you can't go wrong with soup, right? All you have to do is heat up water and throw some meat and vegetables in it. Well, I screwed soup up. It came out all black and syrupy, like tar. Anyway, I didn't actually realise that it was that screwed up at first, because I was just having fun trying. Well, I reached into the cabinet to grab the salt, and I grabbed it, and the salt shaker fell into the soup on accident... only it wasn't the salt... it was a mouse, and the little guy swan to the surface and climbed out of the pot, looking like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. It terrified the hell out of me. And that's not the worst bit... the mouse barely got five feet away from the pot when it just curled up and died... and not because it drowned in soup."
Faith's eyes grow wide, and she bursts into laughter again.
"Oh my god! You poisoned a mouse with soup?!"
"Yeah..."
"Babe, I love you, but don't ever cook anything for me, okay?" She jokes, and I blush. "I'll handle all the cookin', okay? Hell, if I have to, I'll be the domesticated housewife!"
We all freeze at that, and Mom and I stare at Faith. Faith looks back and forth between us nervously.
"I-I-I-I... I don't... I don't know why I... why I said that..." She stammers.
She's definitely panicking right now, and so am I, but we can't both panic about it, so I stand up, walk over to her, and pull her in for a searing kiss that quickly makes us both forget about the awkwardness. Until we pull apart, that is, though the tension is significantly less than before.
"Are you asking me to marry you?" I joke, trying to ease the tension a little more. She laughs, and I join her, though our laughter is more in relief than humor.
"Yeah, B. I'm only seventeen years old, but I really wanna marry you already, so..." And just like that, the awkwardness is back.
"You... Do you think about stuff like that, Faith?" I ask.
She takes a deep breath. "On occasion." She admits. "I-I mean... nothin' serious, like I'm just gonna run right out and buy you a ring or somethin'. But... one day... I'd like to be able to call you my wife..."
Out of all that, there is one word I notice she didn't say. Maybe. She didn't say "maybe". She didn't say "maybe one day", she said "one day". Meaning she doesn't see it as a possibility, she actually wants it. And I think... I think I do, too.
"Hmm... Buffy Lehane..." I try out loud, to see how it sounds. I mean, I'm seriously trying it out. Not in a joking manner or anything. "Buffy Summers-Lehane..." I try the hyphenated version. I've actually always wanted to become a hyphenated-last-name type of person.
She smiles. "Faith Summers." She fires back. "Faith Lehane-Summers."
Just then, Faith's phone rings. She picks it up and answers.
"Hello?... Yeah, I'm Faith. Speaking?... Wait, what?... You... You have?... They did?... You-You mean... Okay, thanks, uh... I'll be down there real soon... Bye." She hangs up and slips her phone in her pocket, then darts up the stairs. I chase after her.
"Faith?!" I call. "What's going on? Who was that? What was that about?"
I get to my room to see her packing up the stuff she brought with her last night.
"Doc called me." She answers. "'Pparently, they got the results back on the DNA test. B, I'm gonna find out who raped me." She looks me dead in the eyes, and my breath catches. I nod, and I help her finish packing up.
"You know I'm coming with you." I say. It was not a question.
"Yeah, I know. Hurry up, okay? Think your mom would drive us?"
"Yeah, lemme just go tell her what's going on."
"Right." Faith agrees.
Sorry for the long wait, guys. I'm really caught up in writing my new Pitch Perfect story: Straying From Tradition, so I find it hard to focus on anything but that right now. I am not abandoning you guys, though! So, this chapter is a peace offering. No, it is not a tease, in the next chapter, we will find out whether or not Mark is Faith's rapist, or if it's someone else. So, just for fun, who do you guys think it is? The first one to get it right gets to decide how justice is served to said rapist. There are two choices (for the rapist's justice, I mean): Option A: They go to court, and his fate is determined by the jury, or Option B: His justice is a bit more... personal... In the form of one of the characters (I decide who) deciding to take justice into his/her own hands. Tell me your guess about who it is and which punishment you want in a review! If you're a guest user, then try to come up with an original name or something to put on your review so I can specify which of you won, please.