Klavier's pills hardly do a thing. Maybe a little bit of the shooting pain from the open wounds is gone, but everything else that's been hit, not so much. My eye's not doing well, either. I don't know exactly how badly it was injured, but I don't think I'll be using it any time soon.
But I can't just lie here. We... have to get to shelter before the sun goes down. It's still barely past noon, but... I don't know when we'll be able to find something, especially if I have to move.
It's a little chillier today, so I can't help but shiver every once in a while. And in response to that movement, more nerves start firing, and I have to stop myself from shouting. And in response to that strain—or just generally breathing, especially if I have to actually get in some air instead of breathing so shallowly my chest doesn't actually move—causes more pain, and... It's bad enough without me doing anything. Why does it have to get worse?
But it's not like I can stop breathing, so I'll have to deal with it. Somehow. Just like all of the psychological pain, I have to handle the physical pain if I'm going to do any good.
That's still easier said than done.
Hugh and Robin return with some kind of goose and a few eggs. Between that and some of our plants, it won't be a bad meal. Aside from the fact that eating involves movement.
If I try to talk, I'll probably lose all control and go back to screaming, so I silently watch the others decide how to split up rations between lunch and dinner for seven people. Juniper suggests a stew and gets started on it right away with Robin's help. I'm pretty hungry, but I can wait. It's not like I have much of a choice.
Time passes, some people chatter, most ask how I'm doing every once in a while. I can't give an honest answer without aggravating whatever damage my ribs have taken, so I tell them I'm fine.
Finally the stew is ready. As the rest get their shares, Juniper scoops some into an emptied water bottle and hurries over to me.
"Um, Apollo? Do you think you can handle the meat, o-or would you rather just drink the broth?"
I'm certainly hungry enough for the meat. "I'll try the meat," I mumble, raising a hand toward the bottle but immediately cringing back and groaning.
She flinches. "I-I'm sorry... Here, I can..." She scoots right next to me and holds the bottle not far from my nose. With that meaty smell, I'll start drooling if I'm not careful. "I-if it's all right..."
"That's fine." I breathe in a little too deeply and choke on air, trying not to curse.
"I'm sorry...!" She pulls on a braid with her free hand but makes herself stop. "I... Th-thank you for protecting me. I-I'm so sorry that I... I..." She breaks into a coughing fit, the arm holding the bottle shaking.
"Wh-whoa! Are you okay?" I take a few slow breaths and try to give her a look over. I didn't really see if she had taken any damage. But when did she start coughing again?
The 11 pulls a sunflower out of her hair—when did she lose her hat?—and inhales from it a few times before replacing it. "I-I'm all right," she says with a frown. "I just... inhaled some grit, I guess..." She coughs a few more times, but it doesn't get as out of control. She looks more sickly than ever, though.
"Well, t-take it easy. Just because I'm hurt doesn't mean... doesn't mean you don't need to be taken care of, too." I feel the beads of sweat gathering on my forehead, but it's not worth trying to wipe it off. The bandages across my eye will soak it up if it starts running, anyway.
"Ah... R-right." She brings her other hand to the canteen. "Well, I'm going to start giving you broth, okay? Um, tell me if I go too fast..."
The first wave of broth fills my mouth—savory, a little salty, definitely gamey, but nice and warm. It only takes a little spluttering to get Juniper to stop, and we get through the bottle without me choking or her spilling too much.
"All right..." She sets the bottle down and wrings her hands. "I... I-I'm going to check on your eye, all right? I'll try not to pull the bandage away too hard—" she coughs—"or anything..."
The whole ordeal of eating has made my neck and chest thoroughly sore, so I just grunt a vague response and shut my eyes. Prickles go around my injured eye as she starts to remove the bandage, but I hold my breath, and soon I can feel the pressure and moisture of the cloth lifting away. I... don't think I can sense the difference in light with my right eye. Th-that... could be temporary...
Juniper starts coughing so hard I open my other eye. Pale but trying to get a hold of herself, she shakily picks up some ointment. When she looks back at my eye, she starts hacking all over again.
"Whoa, whoa!" I nearly hold a hand out to stop her. "Juniper! J-just—" I have to grit my teeth for a second as pain shoots across my ribs—"c-calm down... okay? We're both fine. And... if it's too much for you, you can have someone else look at the damage. Y-you haven't eaten your lunch yet, have you?"
She clasps her hands together in front of her chest. "Well, no, but..."
"Then go get your share!" That comes out a little too loudly, so I clear my throat. "Maybe it will help with your cough some. Get... a little of your strength back."
She continues to shift her gaze around nervously. "Um... Okay... Did it taste all right?"
"Yeah, it tasted fine. Nice and warm, too."
"All right... Oh!" Her hands fly to her mouth. "Are you cold? Y-you don't have a jacket... H-here...!" She starts shuffling her jacket off her shoulders.
I actually hold up a hand this time, much to my regret. "Ack...! N-no, you don't have to... You don't have to do that. Juniper. Keep your jacket. You need that."
She stops halfway, hands gripping at her sleeves from the inside. "B-but! You're hurt, a-and it's my fault...!"
"What?! Of course it isn't your fault!" I pause, gritting my teeth as I lower my arm again. "You didn't throw any rocks at me. It's all the... bomber's fault."
Hands surfacing, she tugs at her braids tearfully. "But if I hadn't fallen, you would have gotten out of the way like all of the others..."
I frown. "That doesn't make it your fault. You can't feel guilty about tripping. That could have happened to any of us, especially when that first round of—" Another wave of pain jolts up my back—"r-rubble... was on the ground. I-it's no big deal. I'm fine. Just... go get your food and h-have someone else look at my eye, okay?"
"Okay..." She takes a step back, but she still hasn't pulled her jacket back onto her shoulders. "B-but you really shouldn't be cold! I know my jacket would be a little small, but it's better than nothing, right?"
"I don't need your jacket!" My breath catches in my throat. "I... have another one."
"Oh?" Frowning, Juniper looks over me, avoiding my eyes.
"I-in my backpack." I'm suddenly shaking, which does wonders for my pain level. "In the main pocket... Watch out for the knife."
She shuffles through the backpack at my side that must have been taken off of me at some point. Before long, she has Clay's jacket in her grip and gives it a flap to unwrinkle it.
"All right. Um..." She steps back over to me and pauses. With the one unhurt part of my back leaning against the rocks so I can sit up, there's no obvious way to get the thing on. Not without nearly killing me, at least.
"Here. I-I'll lean forward, and just slip it over my shoulders, okay?"
She nods, and I steel myself before pushing my shoulders forward with a muffled shout. She throws the jacket over me as quickly as she can, and I lean back again. My injuries are aggravated now, anyway, so I might as well—
I grip the inside edges and pull the jacket almost closed over my chest. "Th—th-there. All... t-taken care of."
"All right..." She glances over me again. "I'll get someone to look at your eye." She wrings her hands and hurries to the rest of the group.
How bad does my eye look, then...?
Shuddering, I tense my grip on the jacket. Clay's jacket. I... can't believe I'm wearing this. It seems so... utilitarian. This was my friend's district token, and I'm using it like any other jacket.
But... i-it's not like he can use it... And I can at least look after it for him...
I stare out at the sky, although it's the middle of the day. I can't see any stars at this hour. But I can't see Clay, either. What does he think about this?
There's no way I'm going to call him selfish enough to keep it from me. We were friends, anyway... If he was here, in this alliance, he would lend it to me. And I would do the same, if he were the one shivering. So... it's really no big deal...
My hands are still shaking.
Well, if he's going to do this for me... then I have to do something for him. I still need to find out who murdered him, and I swear I'm going to do something about it. I-I don't know about killing—it would be fair, but... Even if I just disable the culprit, that would be as good as killing them in this situation.
I don't know exactly what's going to come of it. But I'm going to track down the murderer, and I'm going to confront them. If this person is still alive.
As far as how I'm going to find this person... None of my allies know anything. I can't just go out and ask the Careers, especially not in this state. Maybe I could ask Simon to? But he would want to keep Athena with him, and I have a feeling Aura's a lot of the reason they didn't feel safe in the Career alliance.
I... I'm sure I can look into it more once I heal up. If I do. It sure doesn't feel like I'm going to any time soon...
Until then, I'll just think about it, I guess. Maybe going over some of what I know will be enough to piece things together.
"Justice-dono."
I stiffen, my elbow in particular screaming in protest, and aim my good eye at Simon. "Um, yeah?"
"I'm going to clean out your eye injury." He sits down next to me, and I catch sight of something in his hand, but my nose blocks my view. I can still make out his smirk. "This is going to be painful."
Oh. Well, thanks. Thanks for giving me a little confidence when I desperately need it. Good job.
With a sigh, I swallow and brace myself.