I'm... What?

AN: TRIGGER WARNING: Flashbacks to Faith's rape.

(Buffy's POV)

Just then, Faith's phone rings. She picks it up and answers.

"Hello?... Yeah, I'm Faith. Speaking?... Wait, what?... You... You have?... They did?... You-You mean... Okay, thanks, uh... I'll be down there real soon... Bye." She hangs up and slips her phone in her pocket, then darts up the stairs. I chase after her.

"Faith?!" I call. "What's going on? Who was that? What was that about?"

I get to my room to see her packing up the stuff she brought with her last night.

"Doc called me." She answers. "'Pparently, they got the results back on the DNA test. B, I'm gonna find out who raped me." She looks me dead in the eyes, and my breath catches. I nod, and I help her finish packing up.

"You know I'm coming with you." I say. It was not a question.

"Yeah, I know. Hurry up, okay? Think your mom would drive us?"

"Yeah, lemme just go tell her what's going on."

"Right." Faith agrees.

...

"Doc?" Faith asks as the doctor comes into the room, and I squeeze her hand. Faith's step-moms and I are the only other ones in the room. My mom and Faith's step-siblings are all outside.

"Um... Miss...?" The doctor looks at me.

"Summers." I answer.

"Summers, then... Miss Summers, perhaps it would be better if-"

"No." Faith interrupts him. "She needs to... I... I want... I need her here." Her hand squeezes mine tightly, and I squeeze back to let her know I'm not going anywhere.

The doctor sighs. "Alright then... We have the results back from the DNA test we ran on the semen found in your-"

"I get the pic, doc. Just give it to me straight, please. Who did this to me?" Faith asks, clenching her eyes closed.

The doctor opens his mouth to answer, but Faith interrupts him again. "Wait..." She turns to Linda and Carrie. "Um... could... Could you guys... please... leave?" She asks, and they wipe tears from their eyes, hurt, but they nod and walk out of the room. Faith turns to them. "I... I don't want them to see my reaction... If it's... If it's who I think it is..."

Mark Hartman. I think. The name tastes bad even in my brain at the thought that he might have done this to Faith.

"I understand." I say, squeezing her hand a little tighter.

She nods, then turns to the doctor. "Alright... I'm as ready as I'm ever gonna be."

The doctor nods. "Are you sure you want to know, Miss Lehane? Once you know, it's possible that your nightmares will get worse."

"I... I need to know... I need to know, so I can take the son of a bitch to court." Faith says with fire in her eyes, mingling with the tears of something other than fear for once. The tears this time are of pure rage.

The doctor nods. "The DNA tested to be that of one Marcus Hartman."

"Marcus?" Faith asked.

"Mark..." I growl.

"No, Buffy..." Faith whispers. "Mark's name is Mark, not Marcus... Marcus is... His dad..."

I look at her in confusion as the gears turn in my head.

The guy who raped Faith was... Mark's dad? As in... "I'm on the City Council" Mark's dad? Marcus Hartman? Oh crap... Faith's rapist is on the City Council...

"Well that's a helluva game changer." Faith growls.

"No it's not." I say, getting the attention of Faith and the doctor.

"B-"

"Faith, this doesn't change a thing. Well, it does, but the only thing this changes is the name of the man we're going to send to prison. We'll still take this guy to court, and now we have DNA evidence to prove he did this. We're going to take this guy down, Faith, and then you'll have the satisfaction of seeing him in handcuffs."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Alright. We can do this."

"Yes we can." I agree. "And we will. Marcus Hartman won't even know what hit him."

...

Faith and I are sitting together at lunch when her leather-clad friends, along with Will and Xander, sit down with us. Faith looks at me and nods.

"Hey, Faith. Long time, no see." Jason says. "You been sick or somethin'?"

"Or somethin'." Faith agrees. "Look, I need to talk to you guys about my attack. There's a lot of shit goin' on right now about it, so you guys probably need to know what's goin' on, in case the cops show upat your door or somethin'."

"What are you talkin' about?" Jack asks. "Why the cops?"

"It wasn't just a muggin' was it?" Jason asks.

Faith shakes her head. "No." She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Faith, it's alright. You don't have to do this." I whisper.

"Yeah, I do. They deserve to know, B." She opens her eyes and looks at her friends. "It wasn't a muggin'. Didn't have anythin' on me worth stealin', anyway. And everyone in this fuckin' town knows I don't got anythin' worth stealin'. In that alley... some guy knocked me out... and he raped me."

Everyone, even Willow's eyes grow wide. Willow already knew about it, because I talked to her about it, but I know from experience that it just sounds so much more... real when you hear it from the mouth of the victim.

Jason slams his fist down on the table and growls, drawing the attention of the attendant and all the other students. A glare from him and the other knights in leather armor causes everyone to turn back to their own business.

"There's more..." Faith says, and they all remain silent. I squeeze her hand reassuringly. She looks at me and nods, sighing. She turns back to the guys (and Willow). "I'm pregnant. The son of a bitch got me pregnant."

Willow gasps. That was the part I haven't told her. The rest of the guys, including Xander, put on expressionless faces, but you can see the rage in their eyes. They're almost as rage-ful as Faith's.

"Who was it?" Jason asks.

"I can't say." She answers.

"Faith, who the fuck was it?"

"I can't tell you."

"Who was it?!" He whisper-yells to convey his seriousness, but not so anyone outside of our group could hear.

"I can't tell you!" She whisper-yells back. "I got the DNA test results back, but we're not gonna handle this the way we handled those douchebag jocks who beat the shit outta me last year. We're doin' this the legal way. We're goin' through the system."

"You can't trust the system, Faith! What's the system done for us in the past? Huh? What's the system done for you?! The best home you've been in so far is the one you're in now, and they only took you 'cause you could babysit and they wanted your brother!"

"I know that!" She growls. "But the system brought me here to Sunny-D, and so far, my life here hasn't been all that bad. I've got a group of awesome pals, super-hot girlfriend, and almost everyone at this school is too scared of me to mess with me. Besides, way I have it figured, the system is the only way to really hurt this guy. He's high up there, Jase. And he owns the system. Which is why I'm gonna beat him at his own game. Somethin' like this comes out, his career, his entire fuckin' life is gonna be ruined. 'Sides, pull this off, send him to prison, the inmates there'll take care of the beatin' the shit outta him bit. Inmates don't take kindly to child molesters. I mean, may not be a child anymore, but I'm not exactly of drinkin' age yet, either."

"So... guy that did it... he's a white-collar?"

"Yeah." Faith confirms.

"Fine. Won't do anythin' to him. But Faith, come on, you gotta tell us who it is. Who fucked you up?" Jack asks.

Faith stands up and grabs him by the collar, slamming him down on the table.

"Faith!" I stand up next to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Do I look fucked up to ya, Jacky? Huh?! You wanna be takin' that back, buddy?!" She growls. The attendant is making his way over now, and everyone in the lunch room is staring at the scene.

"Kind of. Yeah." Jack admits. "Look at you, Faith. You're slammin' your own friends around like they're the bastard who did it. We're just fuckin' lookin' out for ya, like you've done for us, Faith. We're your friends. Let us help you out, for fuck's sake."

She clenches her eyes shut and takes several deep breaths. The attendant pulls her away.

"Miss Lehane, to the principal's office. Now." He says.

"No." Jack says, standing up. "It's alright. She's just goin' through some shit right now. I said somethin' I shouldn't have, and she just reacted. She's fine."

The attendant looks back and forth between Faith, who's struggling to control her breathing, and Jack, then nods, letting go of Faith. "Fine. But this is just a warning. Next time, Lehane, and I'm not gonna let you off."

She nods, and I pull her down to sit next to me. Her chest is heaving, as if it's a struggle just to breathe.

"Faith?" I whisper. "What's going on?"

She shakes her head, and her face turns green. She stands up suddenly, then runs away, towards the bathroom. The guys and I all follow her, but only Willow and I go into the girls' bathroom after her.

When we find her in one of the stalls, she's bent over the toilet, retching. It seems like every meal she's ever eaten is ending up in the porcelain bowl. I sit down next to her and pull her hair back to prevent her from vomiting on it, and Willow and I both rub her back in concern. She starts to calm down a bit, and when she finally stops puking, she flushes the toilet and curls up into my arms, sobbing. Willow watches Faith break down in astonishment.

"What's wrong, Faith?" I whisper.

"I... I remember..." She whimpers, and my arms tense and tighten around her. "I-I-I wasn't... I wasn't unconscious..."

"Oh, god... Faith..." I whisper, trying to calm her down.

"I... I-I-I remember him...I remember him pushin' me down, and... I was stunned... I couldn't move, like I-I-I-I was... paralyzed, or somethin'... And I... I remember his voice... he was... he said..."

"Said what?" Willow asks.

"Said... don't make a noise, or it'll be worse for you... Then... I remember him... I remember him pinnin' my arms down and... He took off his belt and... and tied my hands down to a dumpster, and..." She starts sobbing so hard I can't make anything else out, but my own rage is bubbling to the surface.

"He's never going to touch you again, Faith." I whisper. "If he does, I'll cut his fucking hands off. To start with. Then I'll cut his dick off for even thinking he could do it again."

Faith shakes her head. "No... He's strong, B... And fast... He'd end up hurtin' you. No, we're goin' through the system. That's what we're goin' to do, we're gonna go through the system. Hit him where it really hurts. I... I remember more."

"You don't have to-" I start, but she interrupts me.

"Yeah, I do... My... My shrink says talkin' about it might help... 'Sides... I can't say this shit again... Not in front of other people. Not in front of a jury and shit... I'm... I'm gonna need you to say it, B. Tell them what I tell you..."

I nod, tears flowing from my eyes. "Okay... I'll do it..."

She nods and continues. "He... I... I remember him rippin' my pants off... and..."

[Flashback (Faith's POV)]

I walk down an alley I use every day goin' home from the arcade after school. I know this alley. I use it every day. Nothin' ever happens in this alley. It's my alley. I trust it. I know every inch of it, 'cause I'm the one that covered it in graffiti. I'm the one who drew the fake chalk outlines of bodies, just for the hell of it, 'cause I thought it was funny. Plus, it kept other people out of my alley. I'm the one that stacked those crates over there as steps leadin' up to the fire escape, so I could get to the roof of the building I'm walkin' next to. Nice place to watch the sun rise or set, dependin' on my mood. Wouldn't admit it to the guys, 'cause I've got a bad-ass rep to protect, but I like to watch the sun rise and set. It's calmin'.

I'm the one that welded a small metal box down in the corner of the inside of that dumpster, and cut a door in the outside of it, makin' a secret compartment in the back of the dumpster where I hide my comic books. Not that Carrie and Linda would care if I had comic books or not, it's just a habit. Livin' in that little kinda orphanage in between foster homes, kids' personal things tended to go "missin'" if another kid took an interest in it, so I always hid my comic books.

Like I said, I know this alley. Hell, I practically built this alley. I come here, and up to the roof of that building when I need to calm down. It may seem stupid, talkin' about an alley like this, but it's like a sanctuary here.

And my sanctuary has just been invaded, defiled.

Out of nowhere, some guy jumps out at me from behind the dumpster where my comic books are hidden.

He pushes me against the wall of the opposite building, next to where my makeshift staircase to the fire escape is. I hit the bricks hard, and fall to the ground, stunned by the surprise attack. I look up and see him fiddlin' with his belt buckle, then slide it out of the belt loops of his jeans. I can't see his face, 'cause it's too dark out, but there's enough light to see his teeth as he grins at me.

"Don't make a noise." He says. "Or it'll be that much worse for you."

He drags me over to the dumpster and uses his belt to tie my hands to the leg of it. He looks ahead of him, then back behind him, to the ends of the alley. My alley. No one's there.

I've never been one for fantasies, but right now, I really wish that one of the dozens of superheroes in my comic books, stored only feet away from where my hands are tied down, would come alive and save me. Somethin' else gets me, though. I wish Buffy were here. She's not like other sundress girls. She's kind of bad-ass herself, and I know she'd kick the shit out of this guy if she wwas here. Tears spring to my eyes when I feel him rip my pants off. Literally. The denim tears. The bastard is strong. I can feel my strength returning, and I struggle against the belt, but it's leather, and it's brand new, so it's not givin'. I'm helpless. I try to kick at the guy, but he pins my legs down with his shins on my thighs. He pulls out a knife and cuts my panties off, then holds it to my throat.

"Stop fighting, or you'll die."

I've always imagined myself to be the girl who'd fight tooth and nail when some guy tried to force himself on me, and I'd come out on top, too. But it's amazin', and terrifyin', how quickly my fight was lost when I felt that cold blade on my throat, and instead, I just start sobbin' uncontrollably. He shoves my own panties in my mouth as a kind of gag to muffle my cries, and he unbuttons his jeans, then pulls them down, along with his underwear.

I've only ever slept with girls before. Never a guy. Even when my old babysitter tried to rape me, I still fought him off, though I was the one with a knife then. So I've never had some guy inside me. Never been much for toys, either. So when I see the size of this guy's dick, I start cryin' even harder, knowin' that not only am I about to be violated in the worst way possible, but it's gonna hurt like hell, too.

He's already hard, but he strokes himself a little to get himself even harder. As he does, his other hand rips my shirt down the front, and he pulls down my bra, and starts squeezin' my breasts hard. I know it's gonna bruise.

I wish I could black out right now. I wish he'd just knock me out right now, and make it easier for both of us. But no, somethin' tells me he's done this before. Somethin' tells me he gets off on seein' girls like me cryin', keeps them conscious through the whole thing. I think if I'd been knocked out against the wall when he hit me, he'd either have waited for me to wake back up, or he'd have just given up and left. Either way, this wouldn't be happening right now.

He's finally satisfied with how hard he is, and no sooner does he line himself up with me, and he's thrustin' in hard and fast. He pins my hips down with his hands as he tears through that barrier inside me that I haven't broken, even though I'm far from being a virgin.

I scream out loud, but my scream is muffled still by my own panties, and he laughs as he doesn't even take a moment to let me adjust. He just pulls back out almost completely and slams back inside me with a sickening slap as his hips connect with the back of my thighs, my legs draped over his waist, and my hips still pinned down as he pounds me.

[Flashback End (Return to Buffy's POV)]

I wipe my tears away with my sleeve, then I sob into Faith's shoulder. Somehow, I could actually feel her fear as she told me everything she remembered.

"And that's all I remember right now." She says emotionlessly. It's like, as she told that story, she became numb, like if she'd allowed herself to feel it, she'd have died from the emotions. Willow has her arms wrapped around her knees, rocking back and forth as she cries. I hug Faith tighter than ever before. "Buffy... I know it's gonna hurt... but you're gonna need to tell the jury all of that when the time comes. Because I just... I can't say that shit again."

I nod. "I will. I promise, Faith, that'll never happen to you again."