"Lost and insecure, you found me." – You Found me by The Fray.

Chapter 4: Faking It

People say fake it until you make it. I like that attitude. Always have. I'll just pretend that everything is fine, when really, it isn't. It causes a lot less issues, than if you prance around complaining about your problems.

Tomorrow is the Gryffindor v. Hufflepuff match. Slytherin withdrew because their Seeker is still injured. But I know the real reason. Flint just doesn't have the balls to play in this stormy weather.

I didn't want to be mean to Jennifer. I mean, I knew that she was trying her best. But it just wasn't enough. So I faked it.

I put a smile on my face and told her that she was great. She beamed. Maybe I should stop lying, but it's better than the alternative. I'm not nasty like Izzy.

When practice was over, I was entirely grateful. I love training, but when you see how much of a failure your Chaser is... not a good feeling.

Groaning, I walked into the change rooms, and was shocked to see Izzy leaning against a locker door. Great. I swear, I will do something I regret if she gets me mad enough...

"Coping without me, Wood?" she asked, eyes twinkling.

I've said it before. I'm an angry person. It took a lot of self-restraint not to scream at her.

I tried to look indifferent, to show her that I'm not that angry. That effect was marred by the next words that I spoke.

"What do you think?" I snarled, taking a step closer to her. She looked really tired up close.

"I think that tomorrow, Gryffindor are going to lose," she said simply.

How much of an idiot is she? God, she's league standard and she quits, she doesn't know when to shut up, and she looks happy at the thought of her own team losing!

I pushed her against the locker she was leaning against, my hands on her waist. Merlin, I was furious. I wasn't going to hurt her or anything, god no. But I just needed her to realise how much she is infuriating me. In so many godforsaken ways.

A look of alarm spiked in her eyes. She knew that this position was somewhat intimate, as did I, but I didn't care.

"And you're happy about that?" I hissed. "Is little Izzy happy that she's being a disappointment to her friends and Gryffindor?"

Of course she's happy about it; she knows that it gets to me. I was about to snap at her again, but I stopped for a moment. Her eyes softened for a second, and I couldn't see the angry girl who I hated. I saw a broken girl who was confused. But it only lasted for a second.

"I thought that you were happy that I left," she snapped.

How naive is she?!

Suddenly, I was overcome with an urge to brush the hair from her eyes and kiss her. Crap.

"Are you really that incredibly thick? You have no idea, Carter," I murmured, finding it harder and harder to resist the urge to snog her senseless... it would be so easy too...

This year just keeps getting better and better. First, I lose my best Chaser, secondly, I get turned on by her straddling me, and thirdly, I'm now thinking about kissing her.

"Care to enlighten me?" she hissed. I realised that there was a simple way for these feelings to go away: I go away from her.

So I let go of her waist and acted as though I hadn't just been thinking about throwing her down on a table and snogging the living hell out of her.

"You wouldn't understand, love. See, you aren't exactly the sharpest knife in the draw," I said mockingly.

"Like you can talk," she retorted. I stared at her long and hard. That was such an immature comeback on her part, and I think she realised it. For a few moments, I continued to stare at her. Her hazel eyes looked particularly green today, and her reddish hair seemed to be gleaming in the light. I swallowed hard, trying not to think about running my fingers through her hair. How is it that she can make me feel this way?

God Merlin, please don't tell me that Zach is right...

I decided that it was a good time to walk away, before I started having more thoughts.

oOo

In the common room that night, I didn't even fake that I was happy.

Not just because I was worried that we would lose the Quidditch match. It was, in actual fact, more about Izzy.

She didn't do anything today that surprised me that much; she's always saying stupid things and pissing me off. It was more because of how I started to feel about her.

I'm pretty sure that it isn't normal for one to have thoughts about kissing the enemy. But it's probably just because she's hot. Yeah, that's it. I've had the same sort of feeling towards other hot girls, but it didn't mean anything.

I glared at the fire. Even if it is only lust, I didn't want to be feeling that towards Izzy, of all people.

I looked up when I heard footsteps, and Alicia Spinnet stood, grinning down at me.

"Can I take a seat?" she asked. I nodded.

"What's up?" she asked, cocking her head curiously.

I'm thinking about kissing your best friend, Alicia.

"Nothing," I shrugged. She narrowed her blue eyes, and I knew that she saw straight through me.

"Let me guess. There is an excess of sexual tension between you and my girl, Izzy."

Well, Alicia is smarter than I gave her credit for. I decided to try to change the subject, and I found a good way to do so.

"Your girl? Is there something going on, Alicia?" I asked, giving her a smirk. She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"No, don't worry. Izzy's all yours."

Well, that attempt failed completely. I scowled and glared at her. She laughed again.

"Merlin, you're so much like Izzy. I suggest that you like each other, and she looks at me as if I've killed Kurt Cobain. Melodramatic, if you ask me. No wonder you two are a match made in heaven."

I pointedly tried not to glare this time, proving her wrong. I actually was insulted that she said I'm like Izzy, a girl who has no regard or sense of self-preservation.

"Not meaning to be rude, but why the hell do you think that we like each other?"

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Firstly, she hates you so much that it's irrational, and that could only mean that she's trying to hide the fact that she secretly likes you. Secondly, I can practically taste the sexual tension in the air between you two. You train her hard, which means that you must want to be alone with her, and you're harsh on her because you too don't want people to suspect that you secretly like her. Wood, if you don't do something about it, you'll end up shagging out your sexual frustrations in an empty classroom."

I blinked a few times. How can Izzy be friends with a lunatic like Alicia?

Oh yeah. She's also a lunatic.

"Alicia, no offence... but are you high?"

She smirked. "Nope. I can assure you that by the end of the school year, you and Izzy will be together."

I raised an eyebrow. "Want a bet?"

"Sure," she said confidently. "Stakes?"

I was very confident. Heck – I was certain that I would be right.

"Seventy galleons," I said smoothly. She raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, Wood, but if you're planning on buying anything with that money, I'm afraid you'll have to put it off."

I laughed. "You're wrong there."

"Oh really. We'll just see who's laughing in the end."

I rolled my eyes. This girl was insane. Sure, maybe there was a tad of sexual tension between Izzy and I, but nothing that would lead to shagging, right? No, of course not. And even if I did find her attractive, it didn't mean that I was attracted to anything other than her looks. So I was fairly certain that I would be right, and that she would be wrong.

"Well, I better go and terrorise Izzy. Seeya!"

With that, she skipped up her dorm stairs. Strange girl, that one. Brilliant chaser, though. It was a shame when her parents forced her to quit the team, because she was so much more obedient and focused than her replacement: Izzy.

Soon after Alicia left, Zach joined me.

"What was Spinnet doing?" he asked, looking curious.

"Just being an idiot."

"Damn," he said, a smirk forming on his features. "I would have liked for her to be an idiot with me."

I rolled my eyes. It was obvious that Zach had his eye on Alicia. Heck, he had his eye on any girl with boobs and good legs. In which case, the majority of girls in sixth and seventh year. He wasn't the sort of guy for long-term relationships, if you catch my drift. At least once a week, he's woken up with some girl in his bed. As for me, I've never really had a long-term relationship either. Not that I've had one-night stands or anything. I just haven't really found any girls at Hogwarts who I like. But if I wanted a girlfriend, let's be honest here: it wouldn't be hard to get one. After all, there is an official Oliver Wood fan club in Gryffindor. Zach and Percy like to tease me about that a lot. It gets rather irritating.

I talked with Zach about pointless things, until I saw that it was eleven o'clock, and I knew I should probably go to bed, because of the Quidditch match the next day. I was distracted from my nerves due to my anger with Izzy, which I guess is a good thing. Before Quidditch matches, I have quite the tendency to become extremely nervous.

Before I went to bed, I walked up to the girls dorms to bid the girls on the Quidditch team good night. When I found the sixth year dorms, I walked in on the sight of Katie dancing around the room, muttering things like 'shag' and 'Wood'. Um... do I even want to know? Girls these days.

Izzy was already laughing, but at the sight of me, she literally fell to the floor, rolling around in laughter. The sight of her looking so happy made my throat run dry. I've never seen her look so... carefree.

Katie suddenly stopped her antics, her eyes widening in horror as she set her eyes on mine.

"Um... Katie..." I said, trying not to smirk. I had no idea what was just happening, only that it was pretty damn amusing.

"Oliver, it isn't what it looked like, erm, I mean sounded like..."

"Okay," I said, remembering why I was in here in the first place. Note to self: don't randomly walk into the sixth year dorms. Strange girls, they are. Even though Katie isn't in their year. Angelina told me that Katie was having a hard time with the girls in her year, fifth, so she usually resides with Angelina, Alicia and Izzy. "I just wanted to wish the girls on the Quidditch team a good night."

"Night, Oliver," Angelina and Katie chorused, the latter of the two doing so awkwardly. I saw Alicia's blue eyes narrow, and thought that it would be a good time to leave. Just as I was about to do so, Alicia, who was holding Izzy's wrist, approached me. I tried to avoid eye contact with Izzy, because she was still making me have strange feelings.

"Good night, Alicia," I said evenly.

"What about Izzy?" she demanded. I stifled an eye roll. I'm trying to avoid contact with her, godammit!

"You asked if I could wish the girls good night. I see no more girls," I said. It was probably a bit mean and immature of me, but I didn't really care. And because I was trying to avoid contact with Izzy, I shouldn't have riled her up like that.

"Would you like me to prove that I'm a girl, Wood?"

Suddenly, something changed between us. The air was thick with something that could only be classed as... sexual tension. I don't think that she realised the implications of what she said.

I raised an eyebrow, however, trying to ignore the way that my heart started beating faster at the thought of her proving that very obvious fact to me.

"What's that supposed to mean, Carter?"

A look of horror crossed her features. "I-"

"Because it sounded to me as though you were offering to strip," I said, trying to stay calm. This woman will be the death of me.

"You bloody well know what I mean," she snarled. The brown in her eyes became more pronounced whenever she got angry.

"No, I don't. Care to enlighten me?"

"Come on, Wood. I was saying that I can prove that I'm a woman, if you like."

All Izzy does is dig herself into holes. I tried not to smirk as her eyes widened a fraction in horror, and it was then that I, once again, started noticing things about her that I shouldn't be noticing.

Her shirt, for one, was a low cut, tight tank top. She was also wearing bike pants, which were short and showed off her long, toned legs. I don't know why I was noticing this. I mean, all the other girls were wearing similar attire, and Alicia, for one, had an even better figure than Izzy did. But there was just something incredibly... sexy about Izzy.

"I can already see proof," I muttered, before I could stop myself. Leave it to Izzy to respond melodramatically.

"What did you say?" she yelled shrilly, eyes wide and shocked. I shook my head. Damnit, why can't I just keep my mouth shut?!

"Never mind. Please, Carter, control you stripping urges. I have a Quidditch match tomorrow, and I really don't feel like being blinded," I said smoothly, every word a lie. As much as I don't want to admit it, I know that I would certainly not be blinded by a naked Izzy.

"Even if you were blind, it wouldn't make a difference. Gryffindor are hopeless," she retorted. In harmony, Angelina, Alicia and Katie gasped. I didn't need to be a genius to see that Izzy would cop it from them later.

In a way, I was sort of shocked that Izzy would say something like that, and in a way, I wasn't. She can sink to very low standards, and I've always known that. But she also says things that she doesn't mean when she's angry.

Winning to me means a lot. Maybe it's because I become doggedly determined once I set my mind to something, or maybe it's the satisfaction that comes with winning. Either way, her words were harsh, especially after I spent so long trying to make the team the best it could possibly be.

"So supportive, Carter. Good to know that I have a new chaser who actually thinks that Gryffindor can win."

Okay, that was only because Jennifer is annoyingly optimistic, but still...

I knew that I had won this argument. I shot her a filthy look and left. My work here was done. The girls will give her a hard time now.

oOo

After the Quidditch match the next day, I flew to the Astronomy Tower in a bad mood. More than just a bad mood. We had lost the Quidditch match, and understandably, I wasn't very happy.

Jennifer was hopeless, but that wasn't the main reason why we lost. Sure, it was a contributing factor, but there were other reasons. We had to change our tactics mere days before the match, due to Flint chickening out.

But I wasn't angry with Izzy, for quitting the team, or Flint, for having no balls. I was angry with myself.

I looked down at the people below me. Being on the Astronomy Tower, I had a good view of all the students below me, scuttling for shelter from the rain. I continued to look down below me, until I heard footsteps.

To my greatest surprise, Izzy stood before me, looking like a deer in the headlights when she caught sight of me.

Despite the fact that she was one of the reasons why we lost, I couldn't bring myself to be angry with her. She looked so uncharacteristically upset, and it unnerved me. Izzy is just an angry bitch, right?

She turned on her heel to leave, but I stopped her, by saying something completely unexpected to us both.

"Stay."

She looked as though she was debating with herself, before she walked towards me, her cheeks a slightly red shade.

"So, we lost," she said softly, looking strangely guilty. I frowned.

"Yeah," I said, the realisation flooding back to me. We lost. But Gryffindor could still be in the running, if we win the next match.

"Do you blame me?" she said in a rush.

"Do I blame you? No. I don't blame you completely. It's more the fact that I haven't been the best captain I could be lately... I was unprepared, not tough enough, not good enough..."

I winced at how pathetic and whiny I sounded.

"Okay," she snapped. "Stop with the self pity or I will pitch myself off this tower."

Suddenly, I was angry with her again. Why does she say stupid things like this? Doesn't she realise that that is nothing to joke about...

"Don't even joke about that. Just don't. You have no idea..."

I don't know how or why it happened, but my hand ended up on her cheek. Up close, I could see that her eyes were greener than usual, and she looked confused and... longing? My anger at her was forgotten, as somehow, my forehead ended up pressed against hers.

She was beautiful. Simply beautiful. Annoying, yes, and obnoxious, yes, but beautiful. I hated her, yet I didn't. Her lips parted slightly, as I ran my fingers across her cheek. I didn't know what was happening, or why it was, only that I didn't want this moment to end. And that I wanted to kiss her.

Things have been so confusing lately. I don't even know how I feel about her anymore. But I don't think hatred is what I'm feeling.

She brought a hand up to my cheek, and I tried not to react as her soft, warm fingers rested on my cheek. I had never seen Izzy look so... innocent.

She didn't pull away, and neither did I. We both didn't know what to do. I didn't know whether I should just kiss her or not, and I didn't have to decide, because I heard footsteps.

"There you – OH!"

I jumped away from Izzy and saw that Angelina, Alicia and Katie were standing before us, looking smug and confused and angry. Katie walked up to Izzy, grabbed her wrist and said, "You're coming with us."

As Izzy was dragged away from me, we exchanged one last look, and I couldn't read her expression.

Things had just become even more confusing. I hate her, yet I almost kiss her. She annoys me, but I miss it when she isn't annoying me.

I act as though I don't care about her, but I think I do. More than I would care to admit.