I've finished making changes to Priorities, so I can finally write the next chapter to this! Along with minor plot changes, I've changed the layout of this story and I've added songs at the beginning of each chapter. Anyway, enjoy this chapter and I am so sorry about the lapse in updates! Thanks to DaughterofTheHuntress, Lissie Dianne, booktroutlittleriver, TheJesusFreak777 and sarahmichellegellarfan1 for the amazing reviews! They've been really encouraging!

oOo

"It's just past eight, and I'm feeling young and reckless. The ribbon on my wrist says do not open before Christmas." – Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued by Fall Out Boy.

Chapter 5: Realisations and Unknown Understandings

I woke up early the next day, still confused about why in the name of Merlin Izzy and I almost kissed. Even though it was a Saturday, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I walked down to breakfast. Before I reached Gryffindor table, I was blocked by Katie and Angelina, both of them looking like they were on a mission.

"Hey, Oliver," Katie said cheerily. "Do you wanna go out with me?"

Whatever I expected her to say, it wasn't that! I didn't even know that she liked me! I don't like her; I don't like anyone at the moment, I think. I tried not to think about Izzy at this point.

"Um..."

"Katie," Angelina groaned. "Sorry, Oliver. She was joking."

"Um... okay?"

"Here's the thing," she continued. "We reckon that you and Izzy like each other."

"No," I said, a little too quickly. "I don't like her."

"Whatever," Katie said, waving her hand dismissively. "But we reckon she likes you. It's a girl thing, you see. We know when our friends like someone."

For some reason, when she said that Izzy liked me, I started to feel oddly elated. I put it down to a lack of sleep.

"But the thing about Izzy," Angelina said, eyes shining. "Is that she's an idiot."

"Got that right," I said, smirking. Clearly, I'm not the only one who can see it.

"So we have a plan," Katie stated. "You pretend to date me to make her jealous."

I was taken aback. Izzy doesn't strike me as the jealous type, and she hates my guts; I seriously doubt that she likes me in any shape or form... but maybe she does...

"And you think that'll work?" I asked, dubious.

"Maybe," Angelina said, looking thoughtful. "I reckon that you also like her, but you too are in denial. Though I suppose that knowing about Dom makes you pretty jealous," she finished, smirking wickedly.

And snap, I realised it.

I like Izzy.

Well, that's the only reason why I would be jealous, the only reason I would want to kiss her... I'm no idiot.

Seriously, couldn't I have a crush on anyone but her?

"Fine, I like her," I admitted, heart sinking. Is that the usual reaction to discovering you like someone? I don't know. But I do know that it will never happen. Because even if she did like me, we're incompatible. We fight like cats and dogs.

"Wow, that was easier to get out of you than I thought!" Katie exclaimed, evidently excited. "Cool! Now, all you have to do is 'date' me for a while, get to know her better as friends, and eventually, I'll 'break-up' with you and you can ask her out!"

"Whoa," I said, once again taken away by Katie's enthusiasm. "I only just realised that I even liked her! I think that asking her out is going a bit far yet."

Katie sighed. "Good point. But I do think that you should get to know her as a friend. I think that you two have a lot in common, and you haven't even realised it."

"I doubt that," I countered immediately.

"And I reckon she understands you more than you know," Angelina added.

I snorted. As if Izzy has any clue about me. She doesn't understand anything about me. Not Lily. Not any of it.

"Whatever."

Katie looked as though she was annoyed with my snappish tone. "Look, you only have this year left, and we can see that you've secretly fancied Izzy for ages, even if you didn't realise it without our help. Do you want to give it a shot, or not?"

"No!" I exclaimed, angry and annoyed. "Yes, maybe I like her, but I don't think – I don't think that how I feel is enough for a relationship. I don't want to like her!" I groaned, realising how messed up this situation was. I fancy a girl who I'll never have a chance with. More than that, I don't want to like her, or anyone, for that matter. After Lily and what happened to her... well, I don't like admitting it, but I'm scared of love, not that this is love at all. I just realised that I liked her, after all.

Katie tutted, patting me on the shoulder. "You're not as naive as Izzy, but you're up there. Now, do you want to give us a shot? I mean, pretend dating."

I don't know. Even if Dating Katie does make Izzy jealous, I can't imagine myself in a relationship with Izzy.

But she hates my guts, and I have nothing to lose, so...

"Okay."

Katie grinned. "Cool! We're doing this for Izzy, you know. She's had a tough time lately, what with her parents all, but I think that if she has someone, she'll feel better. Anyway, you can't tell anyone, because the more people who know, the bigger chance that she will find out."

"Yeah," I said. "So you want be to get to know her better?"

"Yep," Angelina said. "As a friend, mind you. She's a brilliant friend when she isn't all pissy.

I'll believe it when I see it. "So are you both and Alicia in on this?"

"No, Alicia doesn't know," Katie said. "Yet. We didn't want to tell her until 'we' were 'official'," she said, using air quotes. "Because she might let something slip to Izzy."

"And Oliver," Angelina added in. "If you ever want to talk about your feelings, we're here."

The funny thing is, they didn't sound like they were joking. However, no way in hell was I going to take their offer.

"So, Ollie dearest, are we together now?"

I tried not to laugh at her voice, because I was still a little annoyed at them for making me realise that I like Izzy.

"Okay. But if this plan doesn't work-"

"I'll be dead, yes, yes," Katie said, dismissing my comment. "We'll have to be all lovey dovey though. Do you mind snogging me?"

I shrugged. I usually ended up snogging random girls, so I really didn't care.

"Cool. I don't care either. Okay, its six thirty, and Alicia always wakes up now, so Izzy shouldn't be far behind. Let's go and sit down!"

I did like Katie as a friend. She's nice and a bloody brilliant Quidditch player. But her enthusiasm was a little annoying. Then again, no one has ever tried to set me up with someone that I actually like, so I guess that I did appreciate it, even if I wasn't exactly sure how much I liked Izzy yet.

"Put your arm around me, so that Gryffindor believe that we're a couple. Remember, we're not just trying to convince Izzy," she hissed into my ear, Angelina nodding fervently at her side. I rolled my eyes but placed an arm around her waist, kissing her cheek for good measure. Being the most popular guy in Gryffindor has given me experience on that front. It was normal for me; not awkward in the slightest. I'm nowhere as experienced as Zach is (he's known as the Gryffindor womanizer) but I knew what I was doing. Already, people looked as though they were believing that Katie and I were a couple; girls were glaring at her, a major giveaway. I hope that Izzy will buy it.

Angelina nudged my foot. "Oi!"

I looked up and saw Alicia and Izzy walking into the hall. Alicia was talking to a thoroughly uninterested Izzy. Said uninterested girl looked really tired and sorta depressed. Before I could think more about her, Katie was hissing in my ear.

"Look at me adoringly and put your arm down lower," she demanded. I did as she said, trying not to crack up in the process. Angelina looked as though she was trying to hold back her laughter too.

Izzy's expression was priceless.

Instead of a jealous expression, she looked nothing short of disgusted. Why would she be disgusted?

Maybe because she is jealous.

Just seeing her expression was worth it. Maybe this jealousy thing will work... I mean, I'm fighting back a smile because of her expression. I only ever smile when I'm actually happy or pleased.

Well, I definitely like Izzy.

Instead of talking, she merely cocked an eyebrow and sat opposite us. Angelina had started talking to George, which was good, because she probably would have laughed at Izzy's expression if she hadn't.

"Morning Izzy," Katie chirped in an overly happy voice. I mentally winced. If she doesn't tone down the enthusiasm, Izzy will surely sense that something strange is going on. Then again, Izzy is a dense person.

"Morning," she mumbled, and I knew that she was deliberately avoiding eye contact with me. I, however, was simply staring at her.

Although she may be pretty, she's just that: pretty. She isn't loving or caring. She's fun, I guess. I like fighting with her. Maybe that's why I like her, because I like to think that I'm not like Zach: I don't just like girls because they are pretty. Maybe I am that shallow. I don't know.

"Did Angie tell you? Oliver and I are going out!" Katie exclaimed, throwing me a gag-worthy smile. Honestly, she'd be good in one of those muggle soap operas.

Izzy looked as though she had choked on her bacon. She looked at Katie, who was still smiling in that way. Then she finally looked at me.

Surprisingly, I didn't see anger or disgust in her eyes. I saw sadness. I frowned, confused. The only explanation for that could be that Katie and Angelina are right...

"Y-you're wearing the same shirt as me again. I think we should come up with a roster so we don't end up matching again," she stammered, cheeks turning pink.

My eyebrows rose and I smirked. Okay, I'm not an idiot. She's trying to change the subject because she's uncomfortable.

"A roster for shirts?" I asked, still smirking. I'd like to see her stumble her way out of this one.

Suddenly, Alicia stood up and grabbed Izzy's wrist. "Sorry, urgent business. Bye Oliver!" she trilled, dragging a confused looking Izzy after her.

"A roster for shirts? Oliver! You were supposed to laugh at her and make her feel less awkward!" Angelina hissed.

"Hey, don't think that because I fancy her, I'm going to turn into a gentleman around her," I said. "And anyway, its fun seeing her all flustered. The great Izzy isn't all that great, is she?"

I didn't mean to let the last part slip. But that's how I feel sometimes. She's thinks and acts as though she's above things as simple as rules, let alone manners.

"Oliver," Angelina began, looking annoyed. "I've told you. Izzy isn't arrogant at all. She's just as insecure as the next girl is. Look at you, making her feel worse than she already does! And you wonder why you'll never have a chance with her. The only 'great' one around here, Oliver, is you."

Katie looked as though she was leaving herself out of the situation. What a supportive faux girlfriend.

"Look, Johnson," I began, annoyed. I'm not arrogant, am I? "I'm not going to sweep her off her feet because you want her to have a fairy tale relationship. Even if we did get together, things wouldn't be like they are with you and George. We tease each other. We annoy each other. That's how things have always been with Izzy and I. Don't think that me fancying her will change that. I'm not changing for her."

"So you're going to be an arrogant, moody asshole who doesn't tell anyone his problems because he thinks he's above help?"

"I don't have problems," I hissed.

"Oh yeah? Everyone acts the way they do for a reason. Izzy's an angry person because she hasn't been loved enough. I don't know whatever shit you've gone through, but whatever it is, it's made you act this way. But it's all a mask, Oliver, and anyone with brains can see it. Just like Izzy."

I remember the talk that Angelina and I had. She said that Izzy's angry because the alternative is crying all the time. The reason I act like I don't care, the reason I act like I'm above everyone else, is because the other option is letting people know what I'm really like, or at least what I've been like since Lily died. And I don't want people to treat me like I'm a delicate little flower.

So Izzy and I do understand each other. We understand what it's like to have to pretend.

But I wasn't about to tell Angelina this.

"You can think what you like, Johnson. I'm going."

Katie cleared her throat loudly. I stifled an eye roll.

"Seeya, darling," I simpered, kissing her cheek. She pretended to swoon. I was too racked off to smirk at her antics.

I didn't feel like going for a fly, which is what I usually did when I was angry, so I decided to go up to the Astronomy Tower. Maybe I'll see Izzy there, like yesterday.

I was still cut up over losing the match (the trip to the tower reminded me of it) but honestly, I was too annoyed at Angelina to think about it. Katie and Angelina, actually. They both made me realise something that I didn't want to realise. But now that I have, I don't feel so bad. I'll follow their advice and try to be nicer to Izzy. Because maybe we do understand each other, in some way. Maybe I was wrong. In Angelina's words, maybe I was being too arrogant to see it.

When I reached the tower, Izzy was there. Yes! I can attempt to change things. Now that I've had these realisations, maybe we could actually give it a shot. That is, if she stops being so naive.

When she saw me, her expression changed to one of shock, but I swear that her eyes shone with glee for even a second. My throat ran dry.

"Hey," I said, swallowing hard. Talking to the girl who you fancy but technically is your enemy is hard, especially if you are trying to patch things up with her.

"What the hell do you want, Wood?" she snapped. My attempts at being nice maybe weren't so good... "As you can probably tell, I'm really not in the mood for criticism, so if you are here to tell me that my hair looks like a rats nest, or that my shirt is completely unflattering, or that I have a bloody eyelash missing, I seriously don't want to hear it, okay?"

I chuckled. I couldn't help it; she was just so angry that I actually was starting to find it funny. As it so happened, there was an eyelash on her cheek. Here's my chance to see her reaction. Will she be repulsed or...

I ran my finger over her cheek, brushing the eyelash off. Was it just me, or did she shiver? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

"Missing eyelash," I said, smirking at her confused expression. She narrowed her eyes, but I continued to speak. "Yes, your hair does look horrible, but the shirt doesn't look too bad. Obviously, it looks better on me-"

"Cocky much?"

Okay, maybe that was a bit arrogant of me, but I was only joking around with her. She probably thought that I was being a dickhead, though. I don't blame her, after everything I've put her through.

"Hey, I know you think so. You were staring at my chest, after all," I teased.

"I was looking at Kurt Cobain you egotistical prick!" she snarled. My anger prickled . I was starting to get annoyed, because she knows that I'm joking, yet she's treating me like this. But I'll keep trying. The thing is, though, that she knows how to push my buttons very easily. Let's hope that I can keep my temper in check.

"Sure," I drawled, smirking.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded. "Shouldn't you be with Katie?"

Being with Katie means that I'm with Angelina. "Don't care," I said before I could stop myself. I mentally winced; she'll never believe that we're dating if I talk about my 'girlfriend' like that!

"You just made a big mistake, Wood," she stated, eyes burning into mine.

"I'm sure that you would know all about mistakes," I said, referring to the multiple times that she's failed moves in Quidditch training. I was only teasing, only referring to an inside joke, but she took it the complete wrong way.

"What are you insinuating?"

Er... I kinda had a metal block here. I didn't have a comeback, so I went with the lamest one possible:

"I am insinuating that you would know, because it takes one to know one."

Crap! To anyone else, they would have laughed it off, but Izzy didn't. Not only because the woman doesn't know how to take a joke, but because, well, if what Angelina said is true, and her parents don't love her... it could well be true.

I guess that I kinda deserved it when she slapped me across the face.

Ouch! Shooting pain crossed my cheek. She's a strong chick, Izzy is; I've definitely underestimated her. It is very hard to be polite to someone who just slapped you across the face.

"You'll pay for that, love," I said angrily, clutching my now throbbing cheek. Funny how my attitude changed just like that...

"Oh really? I think I'll be the one making you pay again. I've told you once, and I will tell you once more. I am not your love."

Seriously? She was going to have a fight with me because I called her love?

"Sure, love," I teased, but my tone came off to angry for her to think it was a joke.

"Would you like me to tell Katie about this? That you've been addressing me in such a way?"

I chuckled. "Go ahead, love" I said. She probably thought that I was bluffing, but I was being honest.

She sat in silence for a few moments, as though she was trying not to let her anger explode. I do that a lot.

"Can you please leave, Wood?" she asked in a faux sweet voice.

"No." I wanted to talk to her more! And anyway, this arguing was fun.

"Are you having trouble finding the way out?" she questioned, and I had a feeling of what was coming next. "Because the exit is that way."

She pointed to the highest point of the tower, her hand slowly leading down to the ground.

And snap.

Just like Izzy had acted when I made that offhand joke, I snapped. But I wouldn't slap her or anything of the sort. She just doesn't understand that suicide isn't a joke. I would be calm about this.

"That isn't something to joke about, love," I said, my voice coming off softer than I intended it do.

"Really? Because the joke would be on Gryffindor if you pitched yourself off this tower."

One joke I can handle, but she's taking it too far. Angrily, I grabbed her wrist and looked her in the eye, our faces centimetres from each other's.

We're just as bad as each other. I made a joke about something I knew she was sensitive about, and she made one back at me. But she doesn't know that I'm sensitive about it, and I'm not letting her know why. But she does need to understand that what may seem like a joke to her isn't funny at all.

"Love, I'm warning you. No more joking about things that your petty mind wouldn't understand."

I didn't mean to say that she had a petty mind, but I was too pissed off at her to really care. But I quickly calmed myself. I shouldn't let her get to me like this, as my Mum would say.

"You're right. I don't understand. I don't fucking understand you and your fucked up ways," she snarled. My brown eyes were reflected in her own eyes, which were also brown; they turned brown when she was angry, I discovered.

I couldn't help be amused. Izzy uses anger to cover up all of her emotions. Sadness, confusion... and honestly, it reminded me a lot of myself.

"I didn't say that, Izzy. I think that we understand each other perfectly."

Then I did the last thing I anticipated doing: I kissed her forehead.

I didn't even watch to see her reaction. I just walked off the tower as quickly as I could. I can't believe I just did that! Why the hell didn't I stay to see her reaction? Maybe then we could have talked more...

It's just past eight, and today has already been a very confusing and conflicting day.