OKAY IM SORRY, I JUST STARTED SCHOOL SO I HAVENT HAD TIME FOR ANYTHING.

And yeah, this chapter might make you sad. It took me a while, I hit major writer's block as I started so I really don't know if this chapter is any good. don't worry, there's more to come after this chapter so don't hate me.

Enjoy~

chapter 34

College at first had been the easy rode to an easy life, and Izaya had it all planned out. He would make money so simply. Selling out people who paid for him to keep their secrets, hacking into computers and cellphones to get information others wanted. It was all the same thing he did back in high school, but college meant it would be more grown up and would have a better reward. Izaya had planned it all out.

Get rich, never worry, start fights and watch chaos unfold.

But, then, Shizuo Heiwajima threw himself in the middle of the path and...well, Izaya went a different way. Ritsu had been right on the ball when he cornered Izaya, pointing out that Izaya had plans before Shizuo. But, things changed, right?

He could be better, right?

At least, that's what he had figured. He could be good and have Shizuo and do some normal, every day job. But, that was never what he truly wanted. Everything, now, was changing, spiraling out of his control, though in a good way. He had a good home, a good school and an amazing boyfriend. Everything he wanted. He could push aside the bad stuff.

In all truth, Izaya was partially afraid of that side of him. That's the side Shizuo had met; the Izaya that liked to cause trouble and watch chaos unfold with no real care for the feelings of others. That had been the side of Izaya that put scars on Shizuo's body, and Izaya couldn't do that again. The very reminder of Shizuo bleeding because of something he did made Izaya's chest ache. He wouldn't do that again.

The guilt that came with lying to Shizuo was heavy in the air for the next few days. Though it wasn't brought up or mentioned, Izaya had a nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe Shizuo knew he had lied. But, Shizuo wouldn't let him get away with it, right?

Of course he would, and he tried to tell himself that. Shizuo hated conflict and fighting and would probably do anything to avoid it...

Slamming his text book shut, Izaya sighed and rubbed his temples. "I need to stop thinking..."

The door opened and Izaya watched with narrowed eyes as Ritsu walked in, followed by an unsettled looking girl who was at least a year older than him. Izaya tilted his head as Ritsu sat down on his bed, pulling out his laptop, and the girl sat by him too. She pulled out her own laptop, opening it and looking at Ritsu. "Are you sure you can do it?"

"I can give it a shot," Ritsu murmured, brushing his bangs from his eyes as he started to type. "Hacking isn't my strong point...but since you're paying me, I'll do what I can."

Izaya's head perked up and he met Ritsu's eye. It as then that the girl took notice of Izaya and flinched, going a little pale. "O-Orihara-San..."

"What're you doing?" Izaya stared at Ritsu, an eyebrow arched curiously.

Ritsu hesitated, his fingers hovering over the keys to his laptop. He took a breath and sat up a bit straighter, shrugging. "The girl needs some records from the school directory."

Izaya scoffed. "You think you can get them? This school's got hacking and virus protection in surplus." He couldn't help but laugh a little. "Ritsu, there's no way you can get into the school servers." He turned his eye on the girl who was shifting nervously. "Why, exactly, do you want to get into the servers?"

The girl in question hesitated and bit her lip. "...My uh, boyfriend...there's this girl hitting on my boyfriend. She acts all high and mighty but I know she's a total bitch and...and I just want to show him that because he keeps defending her."

"Then you'll get nowhere using the servers for this school," Izaya sighed, leaning back. "You'd have to get into these servers, find her old university and high school, and then hack into those servers and access all of those files."

Casting a glance at Ristu, Izaya saw how tense the boy suddenly was. Izaya raised an eyebrow yet again. "And you can't do that, can you?"

"Can you?" Ritsu shot defensively.

Izaya scoffed and rolled his eyes. Ritsu sighed and rubbed his temples. "I'm guessing there's no way you'd assist me, Mr. Goody-Goody?"

Izaya's eye twitched and he took a breath, shaking his head. "Why would I want to assist you, asshole?"

Ritsu gave a shrug. "Because I'll split two hundred dollars with you?" He tried.

Now Izaya liked money, just not as much as most things. But the thought of having money to put in his pocket was very appealing. Ritsu was staring at him, waiting, and with a tired sigh Izaya walked over and sat between Ritsu and the still nervous girl. Izaya's fingers flew over the keys. "What's this girl's name?"

"Uh, Nakamura S-Satsuki," The girl replied quickly.

Izaya gave a curt nod, eyes scanning over the computer screen. Ritsu settled back as he watched Izaya work and he couldn't help but smile a little; Izaya Orihara was doing what he did best. It made the boy giddy and he shifted, glancing at Izaya's face. Izaya looked content, maybe even bored. "How long will this take, Izaya?"

"Twenty minutes at the most," Izaya replied quickly.

And twenty minutes later, Izaya had every school record this Satsuki girl had. He hummed as he scrolled through them before laughing a little. "Oh my. Seems Miss Satsuki was expelled from her last school for inappropriate interactions with her teachers. The same thing happened in high school."

The girl beside him clenched her fists. "I knew she was no good!"

"I'll have these emailed to you so you can print them out," Izaya's fingers flew over the keyboard again. He got the girl's email, emailed the files, and Ritsu collected the money. When it was just the two of them in their room, Izaya leaned back and met Ristu's amused gaze. "What?"

"You did that faster than anyone I've ever seen," Ritsu murmured casually. He leaned against the wall, looking at the money in his hand. "Your reputation...it's all true isn't it? The stone cold, insane Izaya?"

"Don't think this is going to be a normal thing," Izaya stood up and made his way over, snatching the money from Ritsu's hands. He started to count it, a frown on his lips. "I was just helping and you offered money. That's all. I have a boyfriend who needs me and I can't fuck up right now."

"Haven't you already fucked up?" Ritsu arched an eyebrow and forced back a smirk.

Izaya paused and glanced at the older boy, his lips turning down in a frown. Slowly, Izaya pocketed his half of the money and set the rest in Ritsu's hand. He took a breath, shuddering in slight irritation. "Once is more than enough. So fuck off, Ritsu."

The laugh that escaped Ritsu's lips was far from comforting. "You're making a big deal out of nothing."

"I'm trying to be a good person for Shizuo, so shut up." Izaya snarled out.

Stepping out of his room, Shizuo ran a hand through his hair as he shoved his phone into his pocket. Shinra had sent him a text a bit after he had gotten home from school asking if he wanted to hang out. The nerd had said something about video games and talking, meaning he was bound to get lectured again. Kasuka, at least, had stopped lecturing and settled for his usual apathetic look, but in all honesty Shizuo preferred that more.

Trudging into the living room, Shizuo paused as his eyes met his father's. For a few stretched out moments neither said anything. The blonde cleared his throat slowly. "I'm going to Shinra's. I'll probably stay the night...I have my school stuff there, anyways."

"Have fun," His dad nodded once, looking away.

Strained. That's what it felt like and Shizuo couldn't get out of his house fast enough. The cool night air felt good against his skin and he sighed, looking up at the sky. The stars had just started to peek out a few minutes ago, only small, miniscule rays of light left on the horizon. Cars whizzed by on the road and the endless murmur of voices around him made him feel a little dizzy; he hated the city, he really did. Vibrations from his pocket alerted him and he pulled it out, flipping it open. "Hello?"

"Hello, darling," Izaya's voice purred.

Shizuo blinked and then smiled slowly. "Hey, there."

"You sound like you're outside," Izaya commented idly. "Where are you headed?"

"Shinra invited me over," Shizuo replied through a small yawn. "I'll probably sleep over."

"Sounds like fuuunn," Izaya whined. "...I want to get out of this dorm room really bad."

Shizuo arched an eyebrow. "Poor flea. What did you do today?"

Izaya hummed and bit his lip. A sigh escaped him and, after making sure the room was empty, he spoke. "...I hacked into the university servers for someone."

Shizuo stopped mid-step, blinking a few times. "That...that's illegal, isn't it?!"

Izaya flinched and then pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a sigh. "If you get caught, yes. But I was just-"

"Izaya!" Shizuo hissed as he leaned against the wall of a building. He rubbed his right temple and frowned. "Izaya, that shit's illegal and bad. What are you doing that for?"

"It's what I've always done before I enrolled into Raira last year," Izaya answered honestly. He shifted a bit and sighed. "I've never been caught, Shizuo, and it was just this one time."

"Only one?" Shizuo asked, hearing the anger in his own voice.

Izaya froze and frowned to himself. "Yes, just one. I won't do it anymore. I don't even like doing it."

It's what I've always done before I enrolled in Raira last year.

It was then that Shizuo realized how little he knew about his own boyfriend. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he staggered a bit, running a hand through his hair. His chest felt tight suddenly and he didn't like it one bit. He took a breath, more so to calm himself if anything. "Just...just don't do it again. I need to go."

"Alright," Izaya sounded exhausted suddenly. "...I love you."

Shizuo stared down at the cement. "I love you too."

They hung up and Shizuo let out another breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He started walking again as he pocketed his phone, his head swimming suddenly. He knew enough about Izaya, that was true. He knew Izaya's favorite foods, he knew his favorite songs and animes and brand of clothes. But Shizuo knew nothing about the Izaya he had first met, the cruel one. All he knew was that...well, Izaya had been a complete dick, but to what extent?

Thinking about it seemed pointless, even to him, but it was bothering him. Had he been keeping Izaya from something the other boy loved to do?

When Shizuo arrived at Shinra's, the other boy knew right away something was bothering the blonde but he didn't say anything at first. He let Shizuo in, soft smile on his lips. "Sorry to call you over so suddenly. Dad's gone and Celty will be gone for a few days so I didn't want to get lonely."

"No problem, it's better than being at home," Shizuo replied with the smallest shrug of the shoulders.

"Watching anime re-runs, no doubt," Shinra couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up when Shizuo nodded. That was so Shizuo. He led the blonde to the couch and they sat down, Shinra running a hand through his hair. "How's your mom?"

Shizuo shrugged again and snatched the remote from the table before sighing. "She's...alright, I guess. She and I had a talk a while ago. We're on pretty good terms still, so that's good, right?"

"That's wonderful," Shinra agreed with a nod. He didn't bother asking about Shizuo's dad. "So, what's bugging you?"

Shizuo started to channel surf, each Tv channel passing by a million miles a second. The blonde shifted just barely; had Shinra not known him for so long he wouldn't have noticed it. "Nothing's bugging me. Just...thinking."

"Oh no, do I need to get the tissues? Or you gonna break something? My old Tv, you can break that." Shinra suggested with a small shrug. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he gazed at his now sighing friend. "Seriously, though. What is it?"

Shizuo set the remote down and leaned back, shrugging again. He made a mental note to stop doing that so much. "What...what did Izaya do before he enrolled in Raira? Like...hobbies or work?"

In all honesty Shinra had been expecting something a little more dramatic. He thought for a second, looking towards the Tv where some documentary was playing. "Well he...worked with people. He was sort of an...information broker of sorts."

"What does that mean?" Shizuo shifted, facing Shinra more, and tilted his head in mild curiosity.

"Ah, it means that people paid him to get information they wanted." Shinra replied. "Like...information on people, businesses...it wasn't exactly legal stuff, but Izaya didn't really care. To be honest, he was a really terrible person until he got interested in you." The brunet paused to adjust his glasses. "He's done his fair share of beatings...some more brutal than others. He's done work with gangs and everything...he's got a reputation, you know."

"No, I don't know." Shizuo muttered. His mind was already swarming. But it wasn't too far from what he had expected. After all, he had seen Izaya's pretty terrible side when they first met, and Izaya did nearly kill Shizuo's father. The fact that the Izaya he was dating now was an entirely new person was just unsettling, at best. "Why'd he transfer schools?"

"Raira was the only school at the time that would let him graduate early," Shinra shrugged a little and stood, making his way to the kitchen. He returned with two sodas, tossing one to Shizuo. "He had this whole get rich quick plan back when he transferred."

Shizuo looked up from his soda, confused, intrigued. "What was this plan?"

Shinra sat back down as he cracked open his soda. "Graduate early, that was the start. He already had a reputation for himself that he made, so his next step was to get into the university he's in right now. Going there with the reputation he had made for himself...he would have been set for a long time. Information brokers can get a lot of business if they do it right and Izaya was the best around. Until he met you, at least."

Shizuo stared at his friend for a second before frowning. "So that dick-ish attitude he had when I first met him was-"

"Was his real personality," Shinra nodded. "I kinda told you in the beginning he was an ass...but he id an entire personality switch when he started liking you. You two were happy and I didn't really want to bring anything up...so, I don't think he has the same plans as he did before. He's made a huge effort and he's kind of a different person now. Not entirely but...he wasn't such a dick, and he seemed reluctant to leave. The old Izaya wasn't like that."

"So...I changed him?" Shizuo murmured as he leaned back into the couch.

"Not in a bad way!" Shinra waved it off and gave a short, nervous laugh. "I honestly think it was a good change, Shizuo...you both changed. He's less cruel and you're...well, happy. So, it wasn't a bad change on either part, so don't start blaming yourself for anything or putting yourself down."

"I just feel like maybe he would have been better off without me," Shizuo stated simply.

Shinra frowned and shook his head once. "No, I don't think so. I think things worked out the way they did for a reason...But I also think this distance thing isn't going to work."

The blonde glanced at Shinra again before locking his eyes on the Tv. "...I'm not desperate enough that I have to keep him here with me all the time. But...I know how I am and it's already got me on edge that he isn't here...especially after he flat out lied to me about that room mate of his. But I can't just decide to get pissy and make him come back just because I'm unhappy; he wanted this school and I don't have any right to intervene."

Shinra nodded slowly and sighed. "Well...in my honest opinion, as a friend to both of you...you two need to have a talk about this mess. He lied and you're letting him get away with it. It's not entirely healthy...but what do I know?"

Shizuo suppressed a sigh, because he knew Shinra had a point. He had to talk to Izaya, he knew that, but he wasn't looking forward to it. That made him a little unsteady; what kind of boyfriend didn't like talking to his lover?

The rest of the night was uneventful; they played video games, watched TV and talked about school. Any talk about Izaya was pushed aside for Shizuo's sake. Though the facts still lingered around in Shizuo's head, wrapping themselves around him until he felt suffocated.

It was a week later that everything finally came out. Over that span of a week, Kasuka had been keeping Shizuo informed of the posts that were showing up online about Izaya and about the 'mysterious hacker' living at the college Izaya attended. Of course Shizuo wasn't stupid and knew Izaya was the hacker; he'd have to be stupid not to put two and two together like that. He didn't bring it up to Izaya, though, and when Izaya called him and told him, quite simply, "I haven't been doing anything; it's really boring here," Shizuo was...more than a little upset. It was mostly anger at first, anger that Izaya was lying. But, as more pictures were posted over the week, pictures of Izaya going out with friends to clubs and parties, pictures of Izaya wearing a happy expression that Shizuo was never able to produce on his own, the anger melded into a deeply rooted sadness.

In a lot of the pictured, which Kasuka saved always so that they were on hand, Izaya wore expressions he had never made around Shizuo. He looked excited and thrilled and cunning all at once...and joyous, like he was where he was supposed to be, and that was far from Shizuo. It hurt, and he had tried time and time again to bring it up everytime Izaya called him, but the words always died on his lips. He couldn't start a fight, not when Izaya was having fun and being...well, Izaya.

Throwing his backpack onto his bed, Shizuo sighed as he sat at his computer desk. Kasuka had trailed behind him, his new laptop in tow. He set the laptop in Shizuo's lap, gesturing to an article that the college's online page had posted.

"Online Hacker crashes school servers. All and any grades have been wiped from the system along with every digital record of every student on file. There's been no traceable source to this crime. If students and faculty know anything please inform the authorities. We hope to get this all sorted out very quickly."

Shizuo sighed and looked at Kasuka. Neither sibling had to say anything and that was the horrible part. Shizuo gave Kasuka the laptop and ran a hand through his hair. Kasuka sat on the edge of Shizuo's bed and stared at his laptop. "...Do you want to see Izaya's profile?"

Kasuka was trying to help and Shizuo knew that. It was helpful, in a way; Shizuo knew what Izaya was doing and knew when Izaya was lying.

"Yeah," Shizuo gave a short nod.

Kasuka nodded and clicked a few things on screen before giving Shizuo the laptop again.

Izaya's profile was full of pictures and comments and statuses from the entire week. A lot were from girls; "Iza-Kun~! Had so much fun dancing last night!" and "You never called me." The pictures were all from other people, tagging Izaya in them. As always, Izaya was thrilled and joyous and in his element and it made Shizuo sick to his stomach. Ritsu, he noticed, was in almost every picture, close and nearly joined at the hip with Izaya. Shizuo didn't get that, didn't like that.

Yeah, it was time for a talk.

Izaya, over the past week, had realized he had made a lot of money hacking. What he was going to do with the money, he had no real idea; everyone at school with him bought him things, paid for his meals and his drinks. He kept the money aside, saving it for whatever it was he'd need. The past week had been nearly a blur, the only slow and memorable times being classes. Those days passed by slowly, so much so that Izaya found himself not even paying attention in classes anymore; not that he needed to in the first place, though.

The nights were the fun parts. At night he hacked (always being paid first, of course), or he went out with Ritsu to parties. Ritsu had become tolerable, easier to be around when Izaya was willing to follow him and the other wasn't being an obnoxious know it all. Ritsu was fairly smart and it surprised Izaya, and the older boy was good at finding paying customers for Izaya's services. In a span of a week there had been a total of four break ups, two arrests and a countless number ended friendships that could all be traced back to Izaya and his skills. Not that it bothered Izaya; he got paid and he was passing classes.

It was Saturday when he dragged himself out of bed. He trudged into the living room, seeing Ritsu sprawled on the couch on top of some guy he had brought home the previous night. Izaya rolled his eyes and walked past them, smacking Ritsu in the back of the head. "Get up."

Ritsu made an unintelligible noise and lifted his head before laying it back down on the chest of the boy he was laying on. "Too early."

"It's three in the afternoon," Izaya muttered from the kitchen. "Get up...and wake up prince charming there, too."

"Fine, fine," Ritsu yawned.

When Izaya came back into the room, though, Ritsu was still lying there. He sighed and walked away as he went to his room and flipped open his laptop. He logged in online, eyes met with the pictures of last night. Izaya honestly didn't remember most of the night, but the picture were of him dancing and...more, and it made him slightly sick. As if some god somewhere knew, Izaya's phone started ringing with Shizuo's ring tone. Izaya grabbed his phone and hesitated, turning away from his computer. He flipped his phone open, smiling just barely to himself. "Shizu-Chan~"

There was a hesitation from his boyfriend. "...I need to talk to you."

Izaya's chest felt heavy suddenly and he sat up a little straighter. "Everything alright? Did something happen at home?"

"No, no, it's...it's not that," Shizuo murmured. He sighed and then spoke again. "My brother is friends with you on that website, you know."

Izaya felt his body stiffen, felt the irritation and the fear racing through his veins. "...Yeah, I know."

Another pause. "...He shows me all those pictures, you know...and statuses...I've seen all of it...even the time you kissed Ritsu."

Izaya's eyes closed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. His head was swimming, panicking. He stood up and frowned to himself. "Then if you knew the whole time, why didn't you say anything? Why did you let me lie to you?"

"Why did you lie to me in the first place?" Shizuo's voice wasn't angry. It was soft and hesitant and that made Izaya's irritation grow.

"If you didn't care the first time then why are you making a deal about it now?" No, no he shouldn't be getting mad at Shizuo. Shizuo had every right to be mad.

"I did care the first time, but I didn't want to start a fight," Shizuo muttered, sounding as if he was on the verge of being angry. "I just figured you'd be honest with me."

Izaya was in the wrong and he knew it, and he had nothing to say. Nothing that would fix anything, at least. He gulped and ran a shaking hand through his hair. "Shizuo...I love you, you know that."

"Do you?" Now, Shizuo's voice was starting to drip with anger. "Because if you did you would have been honest with me. You wouldn't be deleting the things that you think would really piss me off, the things that Shinra and Kasuka email to me the second they get put online. You wouldn't have lied to me in the first place!"

"Don't yell at me," Izaya said evenly.

"Fuck you," Shizuo snapped, silencing Izaya. "Look, I get it, okay? You like doing all this stuff, the hacking, the trouble causing and everything. I get it. Shinra told me you were into all of that and how you have this reputation, and from what I've seen, it all seems true. I get that you lie living that way, so I'm not going to tell you to stop."

Izaya hesitated, gripping his phone a little tighter. "So, you're letting me off the hook? Is that it? Shizu-Chan, you can't possibly let me off the hook like that. Yell at me, threaten me..." He felt desperate suddenly, desperate for Shizuo to tell him how he felt. He wanted to hear the anger...maybe part of him wanted Shizuo to demand that he come home and be with him.

That anger didn't come, though. Instead, Shizuo spoke softly and slowly. "I love you, Izaya. I really do...but I don't want to get in your way. I can't...I can't be okay with this information broker thing you do...not if it's causing as much trouble as I've heard it has. I get that it's something you're good at and that it's what you do...but I can't be okay with it. I can't be okay with this partying thing you do, too. It was one thing when you went to one party. I can understand being drunk and kissing Ritsu. I over looked it because everyone makes mistakes...but now..."

"Now what?" Izaya demanded, voice strained.

Another pause from Shizuo. "...The expressions you have in every picture that goes up...you never have those same expressions around me. Maybe I'm just whining but_"

Izaya cut in quickly. "Now wait a-"

"Let me finish," Shizuo hissed. When Izaya fell silent again, he continued. "Maybe I'm just whining or...or over reacting, but it just feels really shitty when you realize a night of partying and kissing random people make your boyfriend happier than you do. It's really shitty and fucked up. But I'm not going to tell you to stop, because you had this planed before I even showed up didn't you? You had everything planned and I got in the way."

Izaya's eyes widened. Shizuo knew about all that? "You didn't get in the way of anything, you just-"

"Became a complication?" Shizuo murmured softly.

Izaya frowned and looked down. "You're not a complication, Shizuo."

"But I made it difficult for you, right?" Shizuo muttered. "And I mean...how many people have you kissed since you've been gone, Izaya?"

"Hardly any!" Izaya growled out.

"I've seen the videos and pictures!" Shizuo shot back, anger lacing every word. "You're not even drunk in half of them, Izaya!"

Izaya was in the wrong, he knew that. He was wrong and there was no point at all in arguing, so why was he arguing? "None of it even means anything, Shizuo! It's not like I'm fucking any of them!"

"How can I even know if you're telling the truth?" Shizuo asked, his voice soft again, small and hesitant.

Izaya grit his teeth and Shizuo continued to speak. "I'm not mad at you, Izaya...but this...this isn't working. It's...It's getting hard, and apparently you have a lot you want to do. I don't want to be the boyfriend that keeps you from doing...whatever the fuck it is you're doing. But...I don't want to look the other way and pretend that it doesn't matter...because it does matter, and it hurts. It hurts and I feel stupid for letting this drag on. I'm not going to keep you from any of this anymore."

Izaya felt the shaking in his hands, felt the pressure in his chest increase with every word Shizuo spoke. He gulped again. "What are you saying?"

Shizuo didn't speak right away. He was crying, or at least that's what the sharp intakes of breath were telling Izaya. When he did speak, his voice was barely audible. "I'm saying...That I'm breaking up with you."

It was as if all the air in Izaya's lungs had been sucked out. He stumbled until he reached out to steady himself on the wall. He frowned, letting the words sink in a little longer. "...You're fucking joking, right?"

"I wish," Shizuo murmured back. "But I can't do this, Izaya...I can't. It's driving me crazy thinking about who you're gonna be kissing one night, or what trouble you're causing or...or what I'm holding you back from. I can't do this...and I can't handle the lying, Izaya. I can't."

"We can't talk about this?" Izaya snapped.

"Why, so you'll lie all over again?" Shizuo snapped back. "...I don't want to fight about this."

Keep fighting, don't do this, let him hear you out, beg if you have to! Izaya shook his head a few times. "You're being ridiculous!"

"Am I?" Shizuo scoffed. "I thought I was being logical!"

"Since when have you ever been logical?" Izaya muttered, hissing under his breath. "You're being ridiculous, Shizuo."

"Saying what's on my mind is ridiculous? Standing up for myself is ridiculous?" Shizuo growled back. "Everything you told me to do is ridiculous?"

"You're breaking up with me because you don't like what I do." Izaya stated coldly.

"No, I'm breaking up with you so I don't get in your way." Shizuo replied slowly. "...So, goodbye, Izaya."

There was a long pause, a pause where Izaya should have spoke, should have said something. He should have been screaming, yelling for Shizuo to rethink. He should have been planning a flight back home at that moment, should have been assuring Shizuo everything was okay. But his words died on his lips, were strangled by the anger and the shock coursing through his veins. He was shaking, he was sure of it, and he opened his mouth to say something but nothing could, or would, come out.

Shizuo let out a sigh and Izaya new that there were tears in the blonde's eyes. "Bye."

The dial tone was deafening and Izaya shut his phone slowly. Everything felt like it was in slow motion, like claws were digging into his chest every second. He was angry, but not at Shizuo...never at Shizuo.

He was angry at himself, pissed beyond all reason. "Son of a bitch!" He barely registered the pain as he kicked the wall, cracking it no doubt.

Ritsu was in the door way then, pulling on a shirt as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "The hell?" He blinked, watching as Izaya sat down, face in his hands. "Orihara?"

Shizuo set his phone down and cast a glance at Kasuka who sat on the floor across the room. When Kasuka tilted his head, Shizuo gave the smallest of smiles. "...Single again."

Kasuka stood slowly, walking over and wrapping his arms around his brother who started to cry. They didn't speak; what could Kasuka even say, really? He just held his brother, let him cry, because now that's all that would happen.

But Shizuo wouldn't cry forever, he hoped.

BEFORE YOU HATE ME REMEMBER THAT I PROMISED IT ENDS HAPPY OKAY?! OKAY. Really, there's still a few more chapters and it WILL end happy. I swear. The next chapter is after a time skip and there's a little conflict and then I promise happiness. don't hate, please, please. This was the painful part, that's all! review! I love you all please.