Author's Note: Without further ado, let's meet our protagonists!

Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own One Piece.

"Lady, running down to the riptide
Take me away to the dark side, I wanna be your left-hand man." - Vance Joy, Riptide

Fuchsia Village, Goa Kingdom
One Week Later

Weldon A. Bartlett was a normal, unremarkable, eighteen-year old boy - Neatly-combed, black hair, blue eyes, and glasses with thick, black frames. He lived with his dad, as his mother was a famous photojournalist who travelled the world for 360 days a year. His dad was an architect working for the Mondrian Architecture and Shipwright Company, and father and son lived comfortably.

His best friend, Reno Tomlinson-Keough, was the exact opposite - A boy with honey-blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a tall figure. Unlike Weldon, who came from humble beginnings, Reno was a trust-fund kid who was born into wealth. He was the funny guy to Weldon's straight guy, and he was a lot more adventurous and stubborn than his cautious, level-headed friend.

One day, the two friends were eating lunch at Party's Bar, where luminaries such as Monkey D. Luffy and "Red-Haired" Shanks ate when they were alive. Now, it was just a normal restaurant with normal patrons.

"Ne, Weldon, what do you think of going on a pirate voyage?" Reno asked. As he sipped his coffee, Weldon raised an eyebrow.

"A pirate voyage?" Weldon asked. "What drugs are you on?"

"Okay, one, stop assuming I do drugs all the time," Reno said. "Two, it will be fun. Our lives are boring enough as it is. Especially your life."

"Shut up," Weldon said. "And besides, your parents probably don't want to lose their only child because they want the family business to stay afloat."

Reno scoffed.

"Oh, please. They run a paper company. Paper! They based the show The Workplace after the company my parents run!" Reno yelled. "How the fuck is running a paper manufacturing and distribution company supposed to be my contribution to society?"

Weldon blinked behind his glasses.

"You make paper, you sell it to people who need paper, and you make a profit," Weldon slowly explained.

"But that sounds boring, so I want to leave and become a pirate," Reno said. "You have twenty-four hours to make your decision. Should you decide to stay behind, I'm leaving you behind."

When Weldon got home, an empty house greeted him. This was unsurprising to Weldon, since his dad tended to work long hours or be late getting a ferry home from Goa City. The note his dad left, however, was surprising.

Weldon,

Something came up at work today, and I have been asked to leave. I don't know if you know this, but the Dragon Lady declared war on us. There is a dangerous war coming to the Goa Kingdom, and Fuschia Village isn't going to be very safe if and when the war comes. For the time being, several of my co-workers and I have been asked to move to our Lougetown offices until further notice.

One way or another, you need to get out of the Goa Kingdom. If you want, you can join me in Lougetown. I understand if you can't make it to Lougetown, but please get out of Goa Kingdom as soon as you can. I love you, and I hope you stay safe.

Love,

Your father

Weldon walked over to the DenDen Mushi in the corner, and dialed a number. As dial tones sounded on the other line, Weldon remembered a phrase he once heard - "Nothing ventured, nothing gained". If Weldon didn't make this venture, there would be nothing to gain.

"Hello?"

"Reno, I'm coming with you. We're going to be pirates."

The next thing Weldon knew, both he and Reno were in a non-descript motel room in Goa City, watching a cheesy infomercial for a product geared toward broke pirates who spent months at sea.

"So, we're not sailing out tonight?" Weldon asked.

"I know a guy who can hook us up with a ship. We'll go and talk to him tomorrow after breakfast," Reno answered. "Word on the street is that he works for Kartik Abingdon."

"Kartik Abingdon?" Weldon asked.

"Yep. The famous shipwright. He's so rich and pretentious, that there's a popular saying that goes 'Kartik Abingdon has a stick shoved so far up his ass, it sticks out of his mouth'," Reno explained with a chuckle. "If we do meet Kartik, don't repeat that joke."

"Why would I when we're trying to get a ship from his company?" Weldon asked as the man in the infomercial said something along the lines of 'You're gonna love my nuts'. In response to the line spoken on the television, Reno laughed.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Worry about not getting a ship," Reno explained.

"I have good reason to worry. You know that my dad had to flee the Goa Kingdom today because there's a war coming, right?" Weldon asked.

"War? What war?" Reno asked. Weldon sighed in annoyance.

"You did not think this through, didn't you?" Weldon asked.

"This war is irrelevant. What's relevant is our own interests," Reno explained.

"What if your parents die in the war, though?" Weldon asked.

"Then I'll sell the paper company and live off of my residual checks," Reno said with a shrug.

"Those are for actors and musicians," Weldon pointed out.

"Yeah, so? It was my parents' company that was the subject of The Workplace," Reno said. "Speaking of which, a three-episode marathon of The Workplace is about to start. Want to watch it?"

"I think I'm going to go to sleep," Weldon said.

"But it's the episode where they go on the business trip to -" Reno said before Weldon threw a pillow at his head.

"Go to sleep! We have a big day tomorrow!" Weldon yelled, turing over onto his side with his back facing Reno.

"What if I can't sleep all night long because I'm so excited to go to the Grand Line?" Reno asked.

"Then it's your problem, not mine," Weldon said as he shut off the light next to his bed. "Good night! Sleep tight! Don't let the bedbugs bite!"

As Weldon closed his eyes, Reno stopped talking. For what seemed like several minutes, the room was silent for the first time since the two entered the motel room several hours ago.

"Hey, Weldon, are we going to meet any famous pirates on our voyage?"

Weldon then threw another pillow at Reno.

"Shut up! People are trying to sleep here!" Weldon yelled.

The Workplace - Supposed to be this fic's equivalent to the show The Office.

The infomercial Weldon and Reno watch - Yep, it's the Slap Chop infomercial. The mention of the line "You're gonna love my nuts" probably gave it away.

Reno and Weldon's voyage officially starts in the next chapter! Review if you want to see them set sail!