Sophie woke up to movement on the opposite side of the bed, but didn't open her eyes just yet. She was exhausted and wished everything would just stay asleep for now. All the feelings, emotions and turmoil would take a siesta so she could clear her mind.
Erinn was up and in the restroom and back again pretty quickly. She didn't move to cuddle with Soph or snuggle next to her. Instead she faced the opposite way, blankly staring at the wall. She too didn't want to get up and deal with this Sophie stuff. Whatever this was anymore. Erinn remembered some of her friends that were in a band were playing a show tonight at one of the dive bars outside of Manchester. She reached for her pants that were on the floor on the side of the bed and checked her phone.
Sophie rolled over. "Morning," she said to the back of Erinn. She reached out to touch Erinn's soft freckled skin. "What are your plans today?"
Erinn felt Sophie's soft touch and let the chills run right down to her toes. She cleared her throat. "Maggie and Mike have a show tonight in the city. Today I was going to… well I don't know now," she said trying to sound neutral.
"Oh wow, I haven't seen them play in a while. Are you going for sure?" asked Sophie getting excited and propping herself up on her elbow.
"Yeah but Soph.." said Erinn rolling over to face her.
"Is it alright if I tag along? I've missed their little band," said Sophie lying back down.
"Yeah of course," Erinn answered. She felt the need to ask Sophie to clarify their relationship but didn't know how to go about it. Before she fell asleep literally ON the brunette, it felt like an ending of sorts. She liked what she had going, even though the dominance part was waning, she felt like she could tell Soph how to do it and they'd be all good. She didn't know what to think, but was willing to go along with whatever Soph was going to do.
"Um Erinn if there's other people that you, you know.. have 'plans' with or whatever.. don't let me like stop you," said Sophie. Normally she would be fishing to see if Erinn indeed had other people she was going to be with, but this time she was letting her know it was okay to be with her others and to not rely on her solely.
"That's the thing Soph," said Erinn getting up to find some clothes to put on, "There isn't anyone. I've done away with all my um.. 'others'. I thought that...well you know.."
Sophie nodded and cleared her throat. "Well I'm just saying that it's okay." She also got up to get some clothes together.
Erinn felt the familiar sting of someone avoiding a serious conversation with her. But this was Sophie, nice sensitive intuitive Sophie. She knew they had plans for later that night so she was going to leave it be for now. Truth be told, Erinn was ready to drop all of her other girlfriends and hanger-ons for Sophie Webster. She had a slight pain in her heart thinking that this could be over so quickly.
"Okay Erinn, I gotta run and I'm starving, so I'll text you later about the show yeah? Meet you here at like 6?" asked Sophie gathering up her belongings and grabbing her bag. When she packed it she honestly thought she would be staying here a bit longer, but she felt awkward being there after the night before. And there was an uneasiness in the air, and she wanted to get out of that and fast. Maybe in the confines of her bedroom with her music and internet and her own stuff, she could come up with what she was to do now. She hoped.
Sophie went to hug Erinn goodbye and felt Erinn grasp on a little tighter and hold on a little longer. She honestly felt sad at that moment. Sophie put her hands on Erinn's head and rubbed her hair. "It's going to be okay you know? It is. No matter what. We're going to have fun tonight yeah?" She wanted to console Erinn, she wasn't losing Sophie. It was just changing...again. It was almost as if they were never meant to be for too long. Sophie knew she couldn't have Erinn out of her life forever. They, above all else were close. They knew each other inside and out, literally and figuratively. And life is strange, who knows what will happen with Sian? It seemed they were destined to be in each other's lives in some degree and Sophie wanted it to be on good terms, especially if things really happen for her with Sian.
Erinn released Sophie and they looked at each other in the eye. Sophie could see a hint of tears behind Erinn's smile which made her eyes bright green. She did not want to be the cause for any grief to the redhead, even if for the past couple of years that's all the redhead had been to her. Soph was not like that.
Erinn nodded and smiled even though tears threatened to fall. "I'll see you at 6."
Sophie walked toward her home. She had a lot of contemplating to do. As hard and as difficult Erinn had been, if anything it had gotten her to this point. Ready for something a bit more… calm. Sophie had yet to hear Sian's side of the story about this Darren character, and to be honest she hadn't seen him around since the kiss…. and yeah, what was that kiss about? She felt bad for shunning Sian before when she knew the blonde wanted to talk. And when she finally got Sophie alone, she confessed how she wanted Sophie. Confusion was definitely the theme so far.
As she got closer to home, she felt determined to catch sight of Sian. She could just text her but the last time they saw each other, and practically tore each others clothes off, Sian seemed resigned to the fact that Sophie was going to see Erinn. Sophie grabbed her phone out of her pocket and saw the usual texts from Ryan and Ches, and she could see the disapproval even in their fonts. Well now it's changed yet again. "I'm sure they are going to love this," she thought with a smile. Again she wondered why it can never be easy.
Sian got up that morning like any other day. She checked her phone, to check on the outside world, but felt content staying in bed a little longer. Sian had called around to check on Darren's situation, if he made it to prison by the cut off. Normally no news is good news but it was like absolutely no one was willing to get in touch with her with the details. Probably too off their faces to even pay attention. Sian let out a sigh. Hard to believe that was her actual life a year ago.
With Darren and Sophie both weighing on her, she was a little bit surprised she wasn't hungover. She wanted to remain hopeful, since melancholy was not in her nature.
Sian showered and got ready for the day which included a shift at the Rover's. She thought back on the night before with Rosie and Sophie and the kiss. THAT KISS. "What was that about aye?" Sian had never had such a kiss, including with Darren who she had loved. It was so much more than anything she could imagine. She understood fully what Sophie was going through, but couldn't help feel a bit well… sad (?) that Sophie, someone she cared about, had to go through it. and had survived such horrible treatment before and still went back for more. Sian shook her head. "The things we do for love aye?" she thought. Sian looked at herself in the mirror. She was going to get Sophie Webster, she was determined. She looked herself over and caught her own eye. She smiled. "Indeed," she said aloud.
Both girls were anticipating running into each other but didn't really want to go out of their way to find each other. As they both knew and what Sophie realized, was that it was like the universe would let them find their way back to each other. Sian was going to let it lie a bit because she knew that Sophie was still "involved" with Erinn and that if she sought her out she might do a runner like she had so many times before.
Sophie was going to trust her instincts and her luck and not actively seek out the blonde. If it was meant to be, then it was meant to be was her thinking. However if it needed a push in the right direction well.. she was willing to do that as well. She got home after scanning the street and hopped in the shower after she answered some texts. The house was unusually quiet so she set about cooking herself a proper fry up for breakfast with super milky tea. Sophie felt the rain clouds in her mind were finally clearing up, as she was figuring out what she wanted and what she needed: Sian.
Sophie had the day off and had about until 5:30 to kill time and maybe meander the street. She wanted to go about it naturally and not force trying to run into anyone, as she knew that never worked. She napped at about 11am as she was still exhausted from her emotional turmoil and from her full English she had devoured an hour before. She finally made it out on the street at about 2pm, running errands and stopping into work to see when Dev would need her that week.
Sian had a shift at the Rover's at 5pm but decided to grab a bite at Roy's a few hours before. As Sophie left her work, she took a look around at the street and at the people out at that time. None of them Sian. She had confidence she would see her but didn't know when or where. She liked to be prepared as she was not spontaneous nor really good with surprises. The last two times she had seen Sian she had either ran to the hills or tried to undress her while having her tongue down her neck. Who knew what the next meeting would entail. Sophie couldn't help but smile at that thought. She contemplated getting a quick trim at Audrey's but didn't want to force being around too much. Sophie didn't want to just brazenly wait at the Rover's either but started to feel like that might be a good option. She was to go out with her ex, that wasn't her ex for a few days, that is probably more than likely her ex now, but still trying to keep in good graces friend-type person, and maybe a drink would be in order first. "Too early," Sophie thought with good reason. She was too wrapped up in her thoughts to realize who she was about to run into. Not just see, but literally RUN into.
Sian was walking along concerned with how she looked or how she would appear if she did run into Sophie. She knew it was inevitable, but when and where she didn't know. She was looking down trying to brush thoughts off of Sophie and Erinn when someone she was walking by bumped her shoulder and hard, almost knocking her sideways.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry! Wait..Sian?" said Sophie in complete shock and embarrassment.
"Oi! Oh…." said Sian at first defensive but then realizing who it was backed down into a loss for words.
"Sian! Sian. Hi," said Sophie gathering her thoughts.
Sian couldn't help but giggle. "Sophie yes, hi."
"I wanted to talk to you, err well.. wanted us to talk. Together," said Sophie suddenly sweating.
"I don't think there's much to talk about do you? I mean…"
"No Sian, you're wrong. There's PLENTY to talk about," said Sophie in a rushed hyper tone.
"Soph, I don't feel like rehashing all that stuff. I already got the score from Rosie. No worries. Really."
Sophie looked down at her hands. The Erinn thing. Of course, that was the big thing she was talking about.
"Well it's nice that you know the 'score', when one of the last times I saw you, some lad was kissing you in the middle of the street. I mean, I can't really go to anyone to find out about that can I?" asked Sophie not meaning to sound bitchy but that memory wasn't a pleasant one.
"Oh Soph, if only you knew what that was…"
"Exactly! That's why I think we need to talk, I mean how can we have anything if we don't talk first? That is.. if we wanted anything." Sophie didn't want to jump the gun. She knew that Sian wanted her, she had just said so, but didn't want to overstep it if she no longer did.
Sian sighed deep. She really liked Sophie but this was proving to be so difficult suddenly. Maybe it was the fact that Soph brought up Darren like that, not knowing the story.. whatever it was she suddenly felt annoyed. Yes, it was Sian's fault that Sophie didn't know the story with Darren. Yes, it was Sian's fault that this was so awkward now, what with all the kissing and proclamations. And yes maybe it was her fault she went running back to Erinn in the first place, but she still felt annoyed. The last thing Sian wanted was another relationship built on secrets and lies and/or difficulty. She would never know though if she didn't try. This would be the final test.
"Fine. Tonight then. After my shift at the Rover's."
"Oh tonight? Um.." said Sophie.
"What? Do you work too? I could wait for you."
"Well no, I don't work. It's um.. there's a show in town. I said I'd go." Sophie instantly felt like she was made of lava.
"With Erinn?" asked Sian not knowing what else to do but smile sarcastically at Sophie.
"Well yeah. It's her friends but they are kinda my friends too. They have a band and I haven't seen them play in ages…"
Sian shook her head. "Okay Soph. Cool. Have fun." She didn't want to convey her hurt feelings but she had to say something. She moved to walk away.
"Sian.." Sophie wasn't going to let this go down like this.
"Sophie. It's okay. Really. Just…"
"SIAN!"
"What Sophie? You think I'm going to just wait around for you to be done with her? You think you can have us both? False. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I'm way better than that," said Sian in a raised voice.
The phrase "cake and eat it too" struck a chord with Sophie. She had heard it from Erinn when she was at her lowest point in her life. Was she putting Sian through the same sort of situation?
"No I don't think any of those things. I just can't meet up tonight."
"To be with her…..look, like I said, it's okay Sophie. You have to go through this. I get it," said Sian exasperatedly rubbing her face.
"You don't get it. I can explain, I swear."
"Oh don't bother. I don't want to hear about your domme relationship anyway," said Sian actually walking away this time.
Sophie was at a loss for words for the billionth time since meeting Sian. "How did she know about that?" She was too embarrassed to go running after the blonde. "Rosie!" For as much as she wanted to hunt her sister down and tear into her, she knew that it wasn't her sister's fault she was in this mess. Sophie watched Sian walk away. She made a pledge to herself that she would never see Sian walk away from her again. Sophie sighed and headed back home. She would get through to Sian, one way or the other. But first.. a night on the town with her ex. "What a world," thought Sophie as she shook her head.