It felt like time slowed down as he felt the fabric of his slacks slide down his skinny legs. Steve's heart was racing, and he wanted to run. No one has ever seen him naked before, and he just wanted to go and hide. But he didn't. He stood his ground like a deer in the headlights, and waited for the head on collision.
His underwear hung loosely on his hips, men's underwear never really did fit him right. He reached out with a shaking hand, a burning blush spreading like wild fire across Steve's face and chest, for Bucky's hand. With a deep breath, he pressed Bucky's hand to his clothed crotch. He watched, holding his breathe, as Bucky's expression changed.
Excitement, shock, worry, realization, confusion, and disbelief. The brunette blinked and looked up at the blonde from where he was sitting on the cot. "Uh…S-Steve?" He whispered, the obvious question hanging in the air. Steve bit his lip and sighed.
"T-take a look, you ain't going crazy…" Steve mumbled and closed his eyes. Bucky reached out slowly, hands trembling himself as he lightly grabbed Steve's hips. He pulled the blonde a step closer and tugged the waist band of his boxers to take a look. The brunette gasped and slowly went a beet red, face still confused.
"Steve…You're a da-"Bucky started but Steve quickly jabbed him in the chest with a boney finger.
"No! You listen here and you listen good, James Barnes. If you ever call me a dame I will not hesitate to punch you in the face. I am a man, just like you. I have been since I was a kid and this is my body. The doctor's say I am a man, I am a man." Steve burst, cheeks flushing with fury. Bucky blinked up at him at the outburst and slowly nodded.
"…it makes sense now why you didn't even want me seeing you naked, Stevie." Bucky murmured and pulled the underwear back so he could look again. "So…you were born like that?"
Steve nodded. "Yeah, I've been like this all my life." He mumbled and squirmed under the judging eye.
Bucky smiled a little and wound his arms around Steve's waist, pulling him into his lap. "And why you are so jumpy around girls…Steve, this is why you feel so bad, ain't it?" The brunette asked. He realized how many times in the past few years that Steve has fallen into bouts of depression. Steve just nodded and pressed his face into Bucky's shoulder.
"You can't tell anyone." Steve said, clinging to Bucky's undershirt. The brunette frowned down at Steve.
"I would never tell anyone, Steve. This is you we are talking about, you mean the world to me, you little shit." Bucky said and kissed Steve's head. "You are still perfect in my eyes, this…this is just going to have to take some getting used to." Bucky mumbled and rubbed Steve's thigh.
The blonde nodded and shivered under the touch. "So…you would still want to be with me? Even after you know?" Steve said, looking up at Bucky with questioning, skeptical eyes. The brunette flashed his charming smile, a smile that was really only meant for Steve and nodded.
"Of course I would. I love you." He said and pecked Steve's lips. Steve blushed deeply at the words and smiled against Bucky's soft lips. Bucky pulled back and chuckled. "Go shower, then I wanna look at you, if that's okay with you…" Bucky said and rubbed Steve's back. Steve blushed and nodded.
"Yeah, but…only if you don't laugh." Steve said and shyly looked away.
Bucky frowned. "I would never laugh at you…but I do have a lot of questions." Bucky said and let Steve go. Steve nodded.
"I'll answer what I can." Steve said and walked over so he could get his towel and bathroom supplies ready. Steve… Steve was extremely relieved. Bucky didn't freak out, he didn't call him a freak, and he seemed very open to learning. Steve let out a soft sigh as he walked to the shared bathroom down the hall, towel around his waist. Bucky must really love him.
His heart was fluttering. Bucky loved him. Bucky Barnes returned Steven Rogers' feelings of love. The blonde couldn't believe it. The past few days had been so shitty and yet here he was, with a new lover. He laughed to himself as he washed up with soap.
When he got out of the shower, he walked back to their apartment, towel around his waist. Normally he wouldn't leave the bathroom unless he was fully clothed, but why get dressed when they were just going to come off anyway? He never thought this moment would come. He locked the front door behind him and walked back to the shared bedroom.
He found Bucky laying back on the cots. Steve raised an eyebrow. Bucky had moved the small cots so they were pressed against each other. He chuckled and shut the door.
"Planning something?" He asked. Steve walked over to the window and shut the curtains. The word didn't know what was about to happen. The world didn't need to see Bucky get to learn Steve's body. They didn't need to see the true intimacy of what was about to take place.
Bucky chuckled and sat up on his elbows, watching the blonde. "Not really, I was just waiting for you, Handsome." He said and smiled shyly at the blonde. Bucky was scared shitless. He was scared that Steve would chicken out and not let him really love him how he wanted to. He was terrified that he would hurt Steve, physically or emotionally. Bucky was scared that after this, this huge step, their friendship would never be the same.
Steve smiled and walked over to Bucky. The towel still tightly around those slim bony hips. He blushed and sat down on the shared cots. "Are you ready?" Bucky whispered, reaching up to cup Steve's cheeks in his larger hands. The blonde looked down for a split second, then met Bucky's blue-grey eyes. There was that little fire back in Steve's baby blues.
"Only because you're here." Steve replied, smiling shyly.