For BCB, who may recognize certain elements here, but will hopefully accept this in the spirit of good-natured ribbing.
The young woman was almost literally bouncing on the balls of her feet she relinqued her precious copy of "The Complete Sherlock Holmes" to the two men sitting at the autograph table wielding pens. "I was wondering . . . . um, the autographs would be great and all but . . . could I kiss you instead?"
Immediately Watson held up his left hand, displaying the gold ring on the fourth finger. "Sorry, still married," he said with a regretful smile.
The girl then looked pointed at Holmes, who cleared this throat uncomfortably. "Ah . . . I think not," he stammered. "It would set a precedent, you see, as well as increase the potential for the spread of germs. I'm just recovering from a cold and I should not wish to share it."
She sighed but accepted the explanation -- and eventual autographs -- with good grace. As soon as she was gone, autographed book in hand, Holmes whipped around to his smirking friend.
"And what exactly was that, Watson? 'Still married' indeed. A widower is fair game to the fair sex and you know it."
"Exactly," Watson smiled. "I've been to these autograph sessions before, Holmes, and I knew to take precautions. It's called foresight."
Holmes grumbled, "It's called throwing me under the bus."