Steve rushed home as quickly as he could. He was so happy, so ecstatic. He got in! He actually got into the army with all of his health issues! He was going to be a solider, and he couldn't be any more proud. Steve opened the front door of their apartment and smiled, expecting to find Bucky. He quickly fell from cloud nine though, when he was greeted with a dark empty apartment.
"Bucky?" Steve called, checking the small kitchen, he checked the living room and then started toward the bedroom. "Buck? You here…?" He asked opening the door.
The first thing Steve noticed was the cots were pushed to the separate walls, just like before they stared dating. Steve's heart started to ache in his chest. The two blankets were laid out on his bed, along with the two pillows, leaving the other cot bare. Steve walked over to the wardrobe and gasped quietly.
Most of Bucky's clothes were gone. Steve was left alone in the apartment and Bucky packed up and left….Oh God, he left before Steve could fix things. The thought of telling Bucky that he made it into the army quickly left the blonde. He just wanted to apologize. He needed to let Bucky know he was sorry that he was such a stubborn ass.
Steve sank down the door way, a hand covering his mouth. Tears welled up in his baby blue eyes. James was gone… Steve couldn't give him one more night together like he wanted. God damn, it that was all Bucky wanted tonight! He had tried so hard with that stupid future fair…and Steve ruined it because he was desperate to get in the army?
Hot angry tears ran down his cheeks and he turned, punching the wall. He let Bucky go. He didn't deserve someone as good to him as Bucky was. He let Bucky slip through his fingers. He punched the wall again and again until his hand ached and he let out a ragged sob. Bucky only wanted one more good night with Steve…and Steve couldn't even give him that.
Steve went to basic training with a grain of salt. He was still so bitter about ruining Bucky's last night of freedom before he got shipped out to war. He stood in line, listening to the commanding officer talk when a woman came up. Steve's heart stopped a moment.
She was beautiful. Peggy was absolutely stunning, and she stole Steve's breath away. The soft red bow of her lips. He licked his a little, self-conscious about the idea of what they would feel like if they kissed. God damn! He shouldn't be thinking like that! Bucky was gone but that didn't mean they were split. …Right?
He watched as Peggy decked a guy in the face and just- hot damn . Steve was head over heels already… She was a spit fire, and she carried herself like a man but with so much more respect. She met Steve's eye and he just gave a timid smile, fighting off the blush that threatened to take over his face. Then something occurred to Steve.
If Peggy was a commanding officer….did she know about his condition? Did any of them know? And if not they would certainly find out if he ever took another medical exam. Steve forced those thoughts away and tried to focus. He needed to prove himself here. He was just as good as any of these other soldiers. He wasn't a mistake, no matter how he felt about himself.
Even though Steve had gotten lost in his thoughts, he didn't miss a beat. They were standing in rows, ordered to do jumping-jacks, and that was what he was doing. When the grenade was thrown, he threw himself on it, curling up and bracing for impact. "Get away! Get back!" He yelled, curling up again. Peggy stopped and stared at him, her hands on his hips.
Steve sat up when the grenade didn't go off. He looked around, confused again. "Is…Is this a test?" He asked. He ignored the slight burning in his lungs as he panted softly. He was forcing himself past his physical limits, and he hoped that it was enough.
Steve and Peggy had grown close. It was the first time in his life that he could ever really talk to a girl, and he really didn't understand why. Peggy was far more beautiful than any of the other's that he had failed with. Maybe it was because he felt no pressure to try and win her over? Steve saw her as a woman, who deserved and demanded respect, and that was what he tried to give her.
Steve was relieved that she treated him like a man, like a normal soldier. It meant the world to him that she returned the same respect. He was so used to being picked on, being called 'the little guy'. It was such a nice change… It almost made him forget why he was there. It was the day before the procedure, and Steve was mildly nervous. He was trying to think of it as another surgery, he had had them before and they never made him that nervous.
He didn't have the guts to ask Erskine if anyone knew what he was. He knew the Doctor knew, but was overlooking it. It… it made Steve happy in a way. Erskine looked past all of his physical flaws that stopped him at the door before, and looked into his person. Erskine saw what Bucky saw, that huge heart that resided in Steve's skinny boney asthmatic chest.
As Steve laid in his regulation bed he thought about Bucky. He prayed quietly that he was still safe and alive, and that he would somehow get to see him again. He was still so sore about what had happened weeks ago. He was trying not to focus on how he was the Army's last hope. He didn't want to think about how, if this experiment failed with him, it was game over. If Steve failed the experiment…it was game over.