Ok friends, this is the last pre-written chapter! From here on out I'll be updating as I finish chapters (I've got the next one about ½ way written). But I can't WAIT to hear what you think of this….

BPOV

When Edward arrived back, I wasn't a total mess. Just a little mess. But the view of Edward carrying our sleeping son into our apartment did me in. Edward could tell. He put Owen down gently on the couch, then came over and gave me a big hug. I immediately stiffened. You know how sometimes you're doing fine until someone asks how you're doing? Then, the fact that anyone else cares makes you a big ugly-cry mess? Yeah. That's what happened.

"Oh Bella," he said, one hand rubbing slow circles on my shaking back while I silently sobbed. I couldn't answer, I was trying too hard not to lean into him. I remembered how we fit together perfectly, despite the difference in height. I remembered how easy it was to fall into him. But he was not my boyfriend. I had a son. It wasn't easy anymore. And leaving him the first time almost broke me in half. I knew I couldn't survive loosing him again. So I stood stiffly, and tried to regain my composure. After a few minutes, the closeness became unbearable, so I shrugged away.

"Sorry, I need to grab a tissue," I said, avoiding his eyes.

"Of course," he said. Our words and the apartment were so quiet. The soft sleepy breath of Owen. The click of the refrigerator coming on. The swish of my slippered feet on the hardwood as I walked to the bathroom. I tried to blow my nose very quietly. In the mirror I could see my hair sticking up. My nose was almost as red as my eyes. I was pale (well, paler than usual). At least I wasn't trying to impress anyone, right? I met my reflection with a watery smile and took a big, deep breath.

"So it went ok?" I asked softly as I exited the bathroom.

"Yes," he said, trying to make eye contact. I sat down on the end of the sofa, carefully so as not to wake Owen, carefully so as not to let him see me.

"Esme was incredibly grateful. She's in love."

"And Owen was ok?"

"Of course. He seemed to have fun. We just sat at the park, fed the birds, did the swing."

"Yeah, he can never get enough of the swings," I smiled, gently stroking Owen's crazy curls back. "I actually have a rule at the park, no swings till the end. Otherwise I end up pushing him for hours and hours."

Edward laughed, "That's a good rule. I need to remember that."

"It only takes a few trips to the park and you won't have any trouble remembering."

Edward snorted. He tried to cover it with a cough. The sound made me smile. We sat in the quiet again for a minute, and I could feel his eyes on me. I ignored it, pretending to be completely engrossed in Owen. Pretending. Ever since I'd met Edward I'd been totally obsessed with him. He was everything I'd ever wanted. Everything I needed. Until I left. And for so long I knew I'd never have him again. And now for him to be here, HERE, right next to us, it was just too much. So I ignored it. Ignored him.

"Bella."

"Hmmm?"

"I…I'd better go."

I looked up then.

"Ok."

He looked at me again, a deep searching look. And this time I didn't look away in time. I was sucked in.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" I whispered. He swallowed and looked out the window. I sighed, sadness and relief.

"You'll be gone next weekend."

"Yes."

"Thursday through Sunday?"

"We'll come back Sunday morning. That way Charlie can have at least one day for fishing."

Edward smiled, perhaps remembering the awkward afternoon we'd spent on Charlie's aluminum fishing boat three years ago. Edward is not really….outdoorsy. And I'm not either. Charlie had no idea what to do with us.

"Do you think I could come over this week, after work? Since you'll be gone all weekend?"

"Um, sure, I guess that'd be fine."

"Maybe we can go get some dinner?"

"It'd probably be easier for me to just cook," I said, "Owen isn't really…restaurant friendly yet."

"Oh," Edward said, looking fondly at Owen. "Maybe I can bring some takeout?"

I wasn't going to turn free dinner down, especially free dinner that could be eaten in my pajamas. "Sure, that sounds great."

"Wednesday? 6 pm?"

"Perfect."

He rose to leave then, and I carefully shifted myself up from the couch. I was so careful, in fact, that as I twisted away from the couch I lost my balance. Edward stepped quickly over and caught me just before I really embarrassed myself. Smirking, he pulled me up. The force of the movement pulled me in to him. We were squashed up together, his hands on my arms where'd he'd caught me, my arms grabbing him for support. He was so close. Again. And this time I couldn't hold myself away. Just for a second I relaxed into him. I felt resolve soften. And then we were kissing. He tasted like Edward and mint. He was warm, and his lips were full and soft and firm. His tongue was tasting and his chin was just the right amount of scruffy and I might have moaned a little. His arms slid down and pulled me closer to him, and mine came up and my fingers were in his hair, and I remembered that what I remembered was never as good as actually being with him, and that this was where I felt like home and love and forever. And we kissed and kissed and everything got blurry and there was nothing regular in my head, just Edward and love love love. And then, with a force almost palpable, I realized what I was doing. With a quick gasp I pulled back.

"Edward." I said, looking into his eyes, so embarrassed, "I'm sorry."

"Bella…"

I turned around, "I'm sorry," I whispered. I shifted and walked to the door. He looked shell shocked, his hair was sticking up a little crazy, his glasses were a little askew.

"Bella," he said, walking towards me, lifting his hand to my hair, tucking it gently back, "That was nothing to be sorry about."

He waited until I looked back at him. I bit my lip in an effort to hold myself back. He brought both his hands up to my face. "Why are you sorry?"

"We can't do this," I said, my hand making a vague circle between us.

"Why not?"

"Well, you have a girlfriend," I said.

"Um, no, not anymore."

I looked at him, "It's really over?"

"Since I told her about you and Owen. We haven't been together since then."

"Oh. I thought…since she was at the hospital…."

He smiled, "I'm not. There's never been anyone but you, Bella. No one will ever come close. You're the one."

I shifted uncomfortable, and he pulled his hands away.

"There's no one else for you, is there?"

I shrugged, "Yes."

He looked a little shocked.

"There's Owen."

He visibly relaxed.

"That's not what I meant," he said, smiling fondly.

"But really, Edward, this is a big deal. I'm a mom now. I can't get into any relationships. Everything I do affects my son."

"Our son," he said, looking at me warily.

I shrugged.

"He's my priority now," I said quietly. "I can't….I don't want any…distractions."

"I don't understand," he said. "I'm not some boyfriend, I'm his father."

I stepped back, hoping that a little distance would give me clarity.

"Edward, when I left you, that was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Harder than being a single mom putting herself through school. Harder than leaving Renee to move here. It almost broke me. I can't let myself break. It's not just me anymore. It's fine for other people to mope around for months after a bad breakup, but that's just not an option for me."

"Why are you assuming it won't work out?" he asked, moving his hands forward to clasp mine.

"Why are you assuming it will?" I asked, pulling my hands away. My face felt hot and I could feel the burn of tears in my eyes. Like this day hadn't seen enough already. "I'm sorry, Edward. I want you in Owen's life, but that's all I have to offer. I don't want to risk ruining your relationship with him." I turned and looked out the window at the setting sun. The days were so short now. Just like my life, there was so little light. I needed to protect what I had, what I had fought so hard for. "Thank you for bringing Owen back safe," I whispered. "I think it's time for you to go."

Even with my back to Edward I could hear his hesitation.

"Bella…" he said quietly, pleading.

"Goodnight Edward," I replied.

I listened to his steps as he made the short walk to the door, the creak as it opened, and the silent click as it shut behind him. I watched a bird circle in the sky, slow lazy arcs. I heard the plop of a tear as it splashed onto the floor. I didn't even know I was crying.

EPOV

We were at my apartment. Her apartment was always so busy, so full of roommates and chores and lists. But my apartment was quiet. It was early, the grey light of dawn just beginning to seep through the skylight over our bed. Bella lay snuggled up next to me, her hand on my chest. I was so proud to be her boyfriend. And this was the moment I realized I was in love. Truly in love. This was no crush, this was forever. She was my other half. Life had never been more beautiful, more full of hope. She made everything better. She was wise and beautiful and funny and perfect. With her around I never felt awkward or shy. With her everything made sense. We made so much sense. I couldn't wait for her to wake so that I could tell her, but I never wanted this moment to end. The moment when I knew.

I remembered how perfect we were together. I remembered what it was like to feel whole. I needed to help her remember too.