BPOV
So, apparently my ex-boyfriend/baby daddy and I were now friends. At least that's the official label according to Facebook. I usually stay far, far away from social networking sites, but I'd promised my roommates from UW that I'd keep in touch with them since I was abandoning them to go have Owen. And since they were all super crazy facebook updaters, I signed up for an account. I guess you can only hold out so long anyway. It's not like I checked it that often, heaven knows I didn't have much extra time! But once a week I'd try to slog through my updates so that I could at least attempt to be social. Attempt being the key word, I only had about 30 facebook friends. My Great Aunt Irene literally had three times as many as me. And she's 85. It's probably because I'm so picky with my "Accept" button. I already felt pretty vulnerable most the time, and it was hard to open my world, even my fake facebook world, up to many more people. My privacy settings (both literal and figurative) were at the highest level possible. I didn't even have a profile picture. So imagine my surprise when I got a friend request from Edward.
I may have let it hang unanswered for a few days. Just to make him sweat.
Sure, we were obviously going to be tied together in some way for the rest of our lives. But this was a line, a silly, stupid social networking line, but still. A line in the sand. I knew what Charlie would say (HELL. NO.) And I knew what Renee would say (the opposite). So where did that leave me? The same place I've been my whole life. In the middle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Being in the middle forces you to really understand both sides. And it when you finally make your decision, chances are you'll have to defend it. So you really REALLY need to make sure it's the right one. Being in the middle has served me well.
And so, finally, I accepted.
And then I cyber-stalked him. Oh my gosh, I cyber-stalked him so hard. It was embarrassing the amount of time I spent clicking through his timeline. Well, his timeline was pretty short, he's such a private person. It was more the tags and friends and family albums that had his story. And then the thought entered my mind, "Edward is crazy good with computers. DOES HE KNOW I'M LOOKING AT TANYA'S VACATION PHOTOS?" And then I freaked out and almost deleted my facebook account.
Almost.
I didn't.
I calmed down and took a breath. And then I remembered my motto for when I start to obsess. "You can't change the past. Onward and upward."
I didn't delete my facebook account, but I did delete the app on my tablet. I watched "Walking Dead" instead. And suddenly all my problems seemed so much more manageable. Edward and I were facebook friends. Edward was a part of our lives now. The world was not ending.
Zombies are good for something.