Kismet
He wonders if it was what he was intended for - knighthood, unrequited love, and an irredeemable self (assuming the Princess was even still alive).
Servitude still haunts him, always reminding him, that he would have become one like Harklight were he not to defect to Saazbaum. So does his obsession with his Princess, her ever static form suspended in time, a constant reminder of his failure and lost future. And of course, Lemrina's distaste for royal blood, his Princess deemed disposable by Saazbaum.
Just maybe, fate will deal him a hand that'll let him grasp the Princess's, one last time.