Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains within the sound of silence

He was all over her. She could smell him, feel him, sense him… everywhere. He was inside her, devouring her, and sucking everything she held dear away. He had taken her soul away. And not only that, but she was stuck with him, too. Him staring at her, touching her, smelling her. He was always there, as her only company. Outside and inside her. It made her go mad.

She felt disgusted by herself. She felt dirty, used… Peyton didn't want to look at her own body, and she didn't want to think about what he had done with it. She just wanted to be left alone. Nothing and no one were coming for her. No one would be able to find her if they were looking for her. It was all hopeless. She was stuck with him forever. What kind of life was that?

Peyton had been lying in bed for days now, without doing anything. She had not talked to Derek, she had not eaten, and had only moved herself when he had taken her to the bathroom. Her few toilet breaks had been horribly humiliating, as Derek had insisted on going into the bathroom with her. She was starting to get sick and weak, and Derek was getting on edge because of it.

"I'm not going to take you to a doctor, so you might as well just stop what you're doing," he'd told her angrily.

Peyton had lost track of time. She didn't know how long she had been there now, and could feel the days blending together into one painlessly long nightmare.

"I brought you some food and water, my angel." He sat down next to her and stroked her cheek. Peyton barely even opened her eyes.

"You really need to get something in your system, Peyton. You're making me worried. I don't want to force it into you."

Peyton stayed still and didn't answer. She could feel him lifting her head, and gently laying her down into his lap. She felt queasy from it, but had no strength to do anything.

"There you go, baby. Here, I have some water for you," he said and put a glass of water to her mouth. Peyton slowly started drinking from it, while he was holding it to her mouth. She hadn't realized how thirsty she actually was, until now.

"Good girl…" Derek kissed her forehead. Peyton saw fighting as a lost cause in this situation, and took it. "Now here, I have some food for you too. Sandwiches carved into little pieces," he said, pulling a fork with a small piece of bread into her mouth. Peyton started chewing softly, feeling powerless. She was starving out of her mind, and simply could not pretend any longer. She felt horrible, and figured she had to eat and drink a little, if she was going to survive this.

"I'm so glad you're finally eating," Derek said gladly. "You've been looking really sick."

Peyton didn't care to answer him, she just kept chewing. Slowly she could feel some strength coming back to her, after she had gotten some food and drink into her system.

"Now I really wish you'd talk to me, dear," Derek said, staring down at her, as she was lying there. She kept staring into the nothingness, trying to distance herself from him in her mind.

"You've been acting like this ever since we made love for the first time, and I can't understand why. It was an amazing night, don't you think?" Derek smiled lovingly at her, and she closed her eyes again, feeling repelled at the thought.

An amazing night? Did he miss the part where she was screaming and fighting him, begging him to stop? Was he really so blind? Did he only see what he wanted to see?

"We're going to be together here forever, you know, so you might as well make the best of it and talk to me," he said, sounding irritated at her silence. "I know you love me, Peyton, deep within. You just need to come to terms with those feelings, and then we can be so happy. Stop making this so hard for yourself. Let me in and talk to me."

Peyton stayed silent, ignoring him. She hated this man, who were doing all these terrible things to her. She hated him, for taking her away from her life… and her freedom. She hated him so much that she wished for him to die the most brutal death. She hated him more than she had ever hated anything. Yet she was not able to harm him in any way. She was afraid of him. Everything was going his way, exactly as he wanted. No matter how hard she fought, he always won.

How could this be fair?

Derek was a psychopath and a rapist, and should be locked up forever. But Peyton was the one locked up, and Derek was free. Where was the justice in all of this?

"Peyton, if there is anything I can do for you… anything at all, just tell me," Derek said, standing up, as if he was about to leave.

"Derek…"

His eyes widened. "Peyton? What is it? You talked to me!"

"If you could just…" Peyton's voice felt hoarse and broken, as she had not used it for days.

"Could you… please… just let me wash myself… shower… alone?" she muttered.

Derek looked at her for a moment. "Well…"

He thought about it. What could go wrong? It wasn't like she'd have anywhere to run anyway, if she would somehow be able to escape. And in this condition, she wouldn't get too far.

"If that's what you really want Peyton, then fine. I'll let you shower alone. But only this once. I'm not comfortable with leaving you alone yet. And I'll be standing right outside, so don't try doing anything stupid."

"Thank you," she whispered weakly.

He walked over to her, and she could see him take out a necklace he was wearing around his neck, and remove a key from the chain. Peyton stared at it for a second, but hurriedly looked away, so he wouldn't notice. Derek stared back at her and smiled. "Don't even think about it, Peyton."

He bent down, took a hold of her foot and unlocked the chain around her ankle. She caressed it, seeing as it was red and sore after being locked up. He took a hold of her arm and helped her up into a standing position. Although his touch repulsed her, she needed the help. Her body was stiff and weak, and she was barely able to stand, as she had been lying still for days.

He walked her out of the room, and brought her into a narrow hall, which lead to the bathroom. When they got to the door leading to the bathroom, Derek stopped her.

"Now Peyton, don't be too long. I'll be waiting right here, unless you want me to join you.." Peyton looked at him with a worried expression.

"Please, Derek… please… just let me have some privacy, for a little while?" Derek rolled his eyes, but controlled his temper.

"Fine. We'll save that for another time then, won't we?" he said and winked disgustingly.

Peyton hid a shiver, and walked inside the bathroom, finally closing the door between her and Derek, leaving her alone. It felt so releasing in some ways, to finally have complete privacy, even if it was only for a short while. The bathroom was small and, if it were under different circumstances, also kind of welcoming. A small window was beside the shower, and it seemed like the sun was shining brightly outside. The thought of escaping crossed her mind, but she felt too weak, and was afraid Derek would hear her making sounds, so she let it go. She wondered what the people in Tree Hill were doing on this sunny day. Slowly, she removed her clothes, feeling her whole body aching. She got into the tiny shower and turned it on. Cold water hit her body, and it felt so refreshing and real. The cold water gave her goosebumps, but soon it became warm and welcoming to her skin. Peyton let the water hit her face, and she closed her eyes for a second, trying to close it all out.

As she looked down at her body for the first time, she let out a small gasp. There were bruises… everywhere. Marks and bruises covering her body. She couldn't even remember getting them, as the whole violation she had gone through was blurry in her mind. But she knew one thing: she had to get him off her skin.

She desperately grabbed some soap and started scrubbing every inch of her body. She had to get him off her, she had to wash him off. As she was hysterically scrubbing herself, she could see him before her eyes, in her mind, and he was everywhere. She finally collapsed, and fell to the ground. Peyton let the water fall over her, as she truly broke down for the first time since the rape. She pressed her knees to her chest and started sobbing, the shower safely drowning the sound out. Her sobbing then turned into screams of grief, and she tried to conceal the noise by covering her mouth with her hands. Her whole body started shaking intensely, as she kept trying to conceal the horrific screams. Tears of despair fell down her face, and she gasped for breath, trying not to make a sound. As she sat there, feeling completely helpless and fragile, shivering and crying, she tried to take in what she had actually gone through this last week. It was still hard for her to understand that this was her life. She simply wasn't able to process the fact that this was actually happening to her.

How could it be?

These kind of things didn't happen in real life… They happened in horror movies… or on the news. Now that she thought about it, she probably was a news story by now. The thought gave her no comfort. She thought about her dad, and she wished to see him again. What if she never got to see him again? Would he be able to get over her, after already losing his wife?

There was knocking on the door. "Peyton, you alright?" his voice said loudly through the door.

Peyton tried to get herself together, but continued to shiver madly. "Yeah, I'm- I'm fine-" she tried yelling, but her voice broke into a sob. She could hear the door open, and looked up. Derek was standing over her, looking down at her with a worried expression. She tried to cover herself up, not wanting him to see her naked body.

"Oh, Peyton," Derek said and looked at her with sad eyes. "Don't cry sweetheart, I'm right here! I'm right here." He bowed down and grabbed her under her arms, making her squeal. "No!" He lifted her up and pulled her into his embrace, stroking her back. She kept bawling, but tried to get out of his embrace, feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

"There's no need to be sad, Peyton. You have me, you have me…" Derek muttered in her ear, trying to comfort her, but he only made it worse.

"Please get off me, Derek," she begged. "Leave me alone, please…"

She could feel his shoulders tense up, and he pulled her back, making eye contact. His face seemed angry, and he looked her dead in the eye, saying: "You belong to me, Peyton. And I'll never let you go." He wiped her tears with his hand and pulled her back into his embrace, as she continued to sob miserably.

Author's note: The lyrics at the beginning of this chapter belongs to Simon and Garfunkel, from the song 'The Sound of Silence".