Happy Friday! Thank you to the new followers and favourites. New chapter every Fridayish!
Chapter Fourteen: Eyes Open, Eyes Shut
Hiccup, nose wrinkled, walked down from the Great Hall through the frosty and hardened muck, disgruntled over the news that the patrols showed yet again, nothing. He shivered against the cold, wishing the snow would just fall already, and trudged over to his home.
The fact that the Outcasts disappeared would have made him happy years ago when they constantly bothered them, but after a simple bother became a fatal happenstance, their absence made him very uneasy. Three weeks had passed since finding the girl and yet nothing improved with her. Her bruising was blackened after the weeks, but the swelling had gone down to be replaced by starved skin stretching over tiny bones. She was not going to last through the week, and Hiccup knew that with a startling reality.
In his home, he sat at his writing table, charcoal and parchment set out in front of him, moving aside a decorative stirring spoon Astrid was admiring beforehand – it was the little things about his wife that made him smile to himself – and thought about Toothless. The Night Fury had been restless for weeks and flying had been difficult. The dragon did not seem to want to leave the island for more than a few minutes, and would only land by Gothi's home. Then, he somehow broke his mechanical tail fin, which meant Hiccup had to spend a generous amount of time designing and building a new one to use.
He grabbed the tail fin that he had almost finished, and opened it repeatedly. It wasn't opening right just yet, so he tinkered with the bolts around the leather, trying to find a way to make the fin smoother than before.
"Am I getting fat?" Astrid asked quietly.
Hiccup looked up tiredly at his wife, who was turned sideways, naked save for furs around her shoulders. She had a hand patting her belly, trying to see if she was showing at all. Hiccup smiled warmly and abandoned his project to gather her in his arms, kiss her deeply, and hide in her hair.
"Not quite," he replied. Astrid sighed and frowned.
"Why do we have to wait," she groaned. "Why can't we just tell Stoick?"
Hiccup pulled away. "It's what Gothi said we should do. With your womb scarred, we have to be sure that our child is in there before we can announce anything."
Astrid sneered. "I know our child is there, I can feel it, yak-sack."
Hiccup laughed and squeezed her gently. "That being so, what Gothi wants, she gets."
"And what about what I want?" she asked determinedly. "I've been craving meat all day and there is none to eat."
Hiccup sighed and shook his head. "I've talked to Gobber about it, hopefully a hunt will happen once everyone gets back from the search."
Astrid rolled her eyes and pulled away from him, abandoning her furs and pulling on a loose shirt and trousers. "Why not get some yourself?"
"Toothless… is worrying me."
"It's that girl you brought back from Outcast Island," she retorted. "He smells death on her. And probably rot."
"Astrid, no," Hiccup moaned. "I'm going to check in with him. But I'll find you some meat, my love."
"You better," she warned. "If you think a hungry dragon is scary, wait till you see what I'm like."
Hiccup left and found Toothless by Gothi's house, lying on the threshold completely alert and tense.
"Hiccup," he rumbled in his head. "The girl sleeps."
Hiccup sat down and patted his dragon's head. "I'm more concerned with you, bud. You're not eating. You won't let me fly."
"Reasons," Toothless spat. Hiccup blinked. The single word was not due to a lack of knowledge, but Toothless knew exactly what he was saying in that one word: leave me alone, back off, and don't ask questions. Hiccup furrowed his brow.
"Not everyone lives," Hiccup sighed.
"No. Not good enough. Go inside. Go see."
Annoyed, Hiccup stepped over the dragon and entered the home. Gothi was attending to the girl, holding her hand, eyes wide. Hiccup's throat caught. He expected to find the girl with the shorn red hair, bones protruding from under the skin, looking pale as death. He found her so, but he didn't expect her eyes to be open.
"See?" Toothless murmured to Hiccup.
Gothi looked up to Hiccup. She smiled quietly and motioned him over. Hiccup approached carefully, uncomfortable to see someone so sick still alive. He knew he should run to Stoick immediately, but he suddenly thought of the interrogations and the screaming and the yelling she would have to endure. So he crossed quietly and sat in Gothi's chair. The girl stared at him intensely with bright green eyes, one with skin blackened around it in a horrible bruise. Her jaw was bandaged; broken and healing, but broken nonetheless. So she just stared at Hiccup as he sat down.
Unsure of what to do, he stared at her awkwardly and licked his lips. He didn't know what to say. The little girl twitched her hand and opened it slowly, pleading silently for some sort of contact. Her skinny fingers shook, attached to a slender hand and a boney wrist, leading to an arm too frail to touch under furs and blankets to keep her healing body protected from the cold. He could only see her fingers and her face above her nose, and even then, he knew she was terrified. He reached forward and slid his hand under hers as if it was made of ash.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered.
She gave his hand a squeeze and tears welled up in her eyes.
"Do you remember me?" he asked.
With great difficulty, she gave the tiniest nod, and Hiccup smiled.
"I'm glad… you gave me a scare, little one."
The girl breathed as deep as she could through her nose and closed her eyes, tears spilling onto her cheeks. Hiccup felt a lump grow at the top of his throat, making his breath catch.
"It's okay, don't cry," Hiccup said quickly. "You're going to be alright."
She pulled her hand away sloppily and weakly brought it to her jaw, trying to get her fingers around the bandages around her face. Hiccup grabbed it gingerly and brought it down.
"You don't have to talk, not yet. You need to heal."
The girl mumbled under the bandages incoherently and kept her eyes fixed on Hiccup.
"You're going to be okay. I promise," Hiccup murmured delicately.
The girl blinked and nodded, breathing through her nose haggardly.
Hiccup smiled warmly and gave her hand the smallest of squeezes. "Wanna see a Night Fury?"
Astrid, hungry and bored, hauled the cooking pot to the fire and threw the last of the bones she had into the water, craving soup with the most violent passion. She was silent, thinking hard about everything: Hiccup and Toothless' bond, the child growing within her, the flight she and Stormfly had where she told Stormfly about the baby…
Stormfly didn't seem too keen about the news, actually. She, a narcissistic and stubborn dragon, snorted and waddled off when Astrid placed her hand on her snout and then to her belly. Juniper mentioned that the Nadder may react that way like a child would, that they would get jealous or upset that the attention would not be upon them. That being said, Astrid turned and looked up to the dragon door, where Snowdrop's tiny legs were dangling as she played with a Terrible Terror who she was nursing back to health from a sprained wing. Astrid left the soup to simmer and she climbed the ladder to Snowdrop.
"Astrid, do you fink Hammy is gonna get any bigger?" Snowdrop asked as she lifted the Terror into the air. The lizard croaked and wriggled around, a bandage hold his wing down. Astrid sat next to her and she played with her hair.
"Hammy?" Astrid asked, enthusiastic.
"Mhmm, is he gonna get like Stormfly or Toofless?" she asked again.
Astrid shrugged lightly. "Hammy is a runt, I don't know if he'll grow much more than he already has. He certainly is quite tiny."
"Yeah, well, so am I," Snowdrop argued. Astrid laughed. When she calmed, she hesitated before holding Snowdrop to her chest.
"Do you think I'd be a good mum?"
Snowdrop's hands slowed and she looked up at Astrid.
"Sure, why?"
Astrid leaned in and whispered in Snowdrop's ear the answer to the question. When she was finished, Snowdrop's little mouth opened and she smiled a huge toothy grin.
"Really?!" she squealed. "You and Hup are gonna make a baby?!"
Astrid coughed. "No, the baby is on their way, but soon."
Snowdrop hugged Astrid tightly. "Is it a secret?"
"Oh, yes," Astrid said with a false gasp. "No one must know until later. Okay? Not even Stoick. But, when it's time, I will let you tell him, okay?"
"Deal!" Snowdrop giggled. "I'm hungry."
Astrid blinked and shook her head, still amazed at how fast her sister would change her mind's pace from one thing to the next. She descended down the ladder and crossed past Hiccup's desk to pick up her new stirring spoon and stirred the soup for a time.
"Do you want some soup, Snowdrop?" Astrid called as the soup began to smell savoury and delightful.
"Not really," she whined. "I want bread."
"I will get you some bread, then. But I am going to have a huge bowl of soup for baby and me."
It was getting dark outside. Hiccup was growing sleepy as Toothless kept his head still under the girl's hand. He was keeping her calm as Juniper pulled the blankets back and showed Hiccup the injuries after the girl consented. Not seeing anything private, Hiccup twisted his lips as the ugly bruises were shown and the bandages pulled away as Juniper explained all the bumps and bruises.
"This is the most interesting," she murmured, lifting her shoulder gently to expose a nasty scar. "Look familiar?"
Hiccup nodded quickly. He recognized the white pearly marks of the jaws of a dragon. The teeth had gone deep, mangled her shoulder and arm, much like the shackle scars around her ankles and wrists, however much more noticeable.
"It's more prominent on her back."
The girl whimpered as they rested her back down. Juniper wiped her hand on her skirt and rested a hand by the girl's bandaged face. "She's healing a lot better than I had expected. Her breathing is already improving, her bones are already setting, some cuts have healed over… much faster than I thought, but she's healthy."
She leaned over the girl. "That being said, we could try to free your jaw to check it so you can answer a few questions, if you want."
The girl nodded immediately and made a noise that was determined and prompt. However, Hiccup raised a hand and cleared his throat. "No. We should get Stoick here to hear what she has to say. Whatever we need to know, we need to hear once. I don't want to overexert her."
Juniper paused before bowing her head. "As you wish. Feel free to take Toothless to find him. He was scouting the far side of the island for game."
Hiccup smiled and shook Juniper's hand, clasping her wrist and giving it one shake. He smiled at the girl and left the house quietly with Toothless trailing behind him.
"C'mon," Hiccup said gruffly, "let's get to the forge to put on one of your replacement tails."
Toothless snuffed at the ground and led the way, taking one look at Hiccup's house on the hill above them with one cat-like emerald eye, iris twitching.
Hours passed. Years passed. Centuries passed. That wasn't possible, Astrid thought. Why, she could have sworn just moments ago she was at home. Or was that an age ago? Her vision was blocked, her perspective dark and dank. But she could have sworn her eyes were open a second ago. Her mind floated above her like a web in the wind and yet her body felt so heavy. She tried to move a hand, a finger, a nail, something to make sense to herself.
She struggled to breathe. Sucking a jagged, pathetic puff of air, she felt herself for a moment. Her whole body ached as if she had fallen down the steepest mountain into a pile of dead, withered thorn bushes. Her nose burned with the smell of old and sawn pine, the floor of her home, and the side of her face was wet with something pooling from her mouth, crushed against the ground with the impossible weight of her own throbbing head. Something lingered on her tongue, the taste of disgusting meat or berry, something that didn't taste edible and burned her throat and stomach. She breathed out.
It felt like another turn of the wheel before she forced herself to breathe again. This time, she managed to twitch open one of her eyes and saw blurred shadows. In front of her face was the only discernable shape, the only one she could recognize: the ornate cooking spoon they had gotten at their wedding from an unknown patron. She stared at it in limbo and slowly realized with horrifying vividness that it was no longer a lovely yellowish colour, but a terrifying gray with blackened splotches. Syrup oozed out of it like ink from a squid and smelled acrid, overpowering the smell of the floor beneath her face. She grunted and coughed, pink foam spattering the spoon in front of her eyes. She remembered her father with foam coming from his mouth when he drank from the water the Outcasts had poisoned before he died.
Where was Snowdrop? The question screamed in her mind but she made no sound. She couldn't move, the poison coursing through her body like raw meat sliding over oil, slippery. Where was Hiccup? With the girl from Outcast island, the one from the place where the poison came from, someone who should be chained up. She needed to warn him, warn Stoick, the Outcast poison was back, it was in her body, her blood, her…
Her child. She couldn't breathe anymore and faded into darkness.
She pushed against the blackness that was darker than night, refusing to leave, refusing to let the fire overcome her. She was running in the darkness, her arms flinging out, searching for her body. She spun around, whirling on her toes to see a dragon's egg in the distance, patterned with blue and yellow speckles. She ran to it, searching for anything in the dark. She reached out to touch it when the shell cracked. The break dissected the shell and blood spilled from the lines marking it. She snapped her hand back to her gut, crying out as unbearable pain, the fire of poison, attacked her stomach, dropping lower and lower into her pelvis, the flames eating her from the inside, killing her, destroying her, destroying everything. The egg exploded into a bright light and she slammed back into her body with a startling force.
She felt her eyes flutter and heard familiar voices around her. Juniper's panicked voice echoed in her head, Snowdrop cried to her left, matrons had hands on her everywhere. She was in Gothi's house.
"Wake her up!" Snowdrop cried. "Wake her up!"
"We're trying, baby," one woman said quickly. Others had Astrid's mouth opened, probing fingers forcing her throat open.
"Hup!" Snowdrop cried.
"I will send for him at once; send for Stoick. Tell him it's poison, tell him it's Astrid!"
Astrid was fading.
"The girl is bleeding again, Juniper."
"Let her bleed," was the dark reply. "Outcast piece of…"
Darkness consumed her again and she was back in the blackness, running, trying to find her body, not wanting to go. Her feet lost their footing and she felt herself carried up. There were stars above her, a beautiful cascade of the cosmos.
Calm filled her once-burning heart and she hovered under the stars as if floating on the calm sea. The water was warm and supported her whole body. Her hair unravelled and became sunlight, a beautiful beam of warmth from her head floating behind her. Her skin was clean and fresh and open, drinking in the air and the beautiful smell of the world above her. She knew it was Valhalla, and the realization didn't startle her, but gave her a sense of peace. She knew in her heart she wouldn't be hurt, free of pain, free of struggling to survive, always warm, not having to wear layer upon layers to keep your fingers from freezing off, living in the stars above her as a constellation. She felt herself lifted into the air, into the stars.
But something below her stopped her. The stars shuddered and she felt something tug against her in her lower back. It was as if a rope or a wire was tied around her spine at its base and refused to let her float up. She twisted to see was it was and saw herself in the water, back in Gothi's house. She was alone, the matrons long since given up. Her body was cold and lay in the shadows, Snowdrop's tears already dried on her white skin. She had a memory in the back of her tranquil mind that she had fallen in the peak of the day and it was the dead of night. Hours had passed.
The stars didn't seem so beautiful as she noticed the bed beside her. Staring down at her as if a piece of wood in the ceiling, shining through the waters under Valhalla, she watched the girl leave her bed and walk. She wasn't injured. She had her head hung sinisterly, her face hidden to Astrid peering above. She looked at her dead body and cocked her head. Astrid noted that her ankles were fine, her stomach was no longer bleeding, and the bruises on her shoulders were fading quickly.
The stars shuddered as the girl placed a finger on Astrid's jaw, tracing it down to her chin, down her neck. The water started to ripple, the rope began to pull, Astrid felt the burning in her gut. She knew that girl was evil, an Outcast planted within Berk to hurt the people, the poison found in their home only after she had arrived.
That little girl. That little demon. Astrid wanted to scream at her to get her filthy hands off her body, to give her some peace, to let her go. The anger was so great that she suddenly felt pain in her gut, and her body in the water moved for just a moment. Astrid realized with a sudden urgency that she could get back to her body, she didn't have to die, she didn't have to leave everyone behind! She could wait!
But the girl had other plans. Astrid saw her reach over to the counter next to Astrid's head, prodding a knife the girl had stolen and stashed under her pillow. She picked up the blade and weighed it in her hand. Astrid screamed and reached for the water, making her real body twitch again. She had to get back, she had to stop the girl.
The girl held the knife over Astrid's body and stopped for a moment before she turned around slowly and looked up at Astrid through the water, making eye contact with her under Valhalla. How? She was dead, she was floating before the afterlife and the girl… was looking at her. Astrid screamed again, reaching for the water as the girl smirked and turned back, driving the blade straight into Astrid's body, sending Astrid flying into an endless void, her ears howling as if a dragon was roaring, beckoning her, welcoming her.
Hiccup and Stoick, along with the rest of the hunting party, arrived around Gothi's house as dawn kissed the shores of Berk. The matrons met them outside and met Hiccup and Stoick. Four of them grabbed onto Hiccup, who tried to shove past them, shrieking at them. Two found Stoick and told him about the poison. One met with the matron they sent to find them and told her the news that Astrid could not be saved. When Hiccup overheard that, he found himself in front of two matrons, forgetting that he had bruised three matrons and broken the ribs of the fourth to get there.
Hiccup grabbed onto one of the matrons, demanding what had happened, demanding the truth that no one was brave enough to tell.
When Juniper revealed herself, everyone watched as she dragged the Outcast girl out of the house by her hair, dragging her through the frost and snow, and hurled her at Stoick's feet after punching her in the jaw twice, breaking it again. The little girl hit the ground but made no sound, blood smeared over her hands. Juniper spat at the girl who did not look up or ask for forgiveness. Stoick seized her and demanded her imprisoned, the blood enough for Hiccup to run into Gothi's home before anyone could stop him. Toothless roared into the air and Hiccup could not hear the words he was trying to send him. Stormfly was on the roof already, looking down, frozen in shock.
He found Astrid in a bed, her face pale and cold, her chest pierced with a dagger, blood blossomed over her breasts and dripped onto the floor. She had been stabbed so many times, the puncture wounds marking her neck, her collar, her shoulders, her chest, and her thighs. Blood pooled everywhere and the smell of it wafted into Hiccup's face. He saw the crimson footprints of the girl that tainted the Gothi's floor and found himself weak in the knees, stumbling, reaching out to her. He slipped in her blood which had soaked through the mattress and collapsed onto her. He saw the blood on his own chest, felt it on his cheek, tasted it on his lips. A shaking hand rested itself on her forehead, smoothing back her hair, marking the white skin with red blood.
"Astrid?" he asked. It was as if he was asking her in the morning to wake up to the sun hitting the frosty mud of Berk. But Astrid's face didn't move this time, nor would it ever again. Hiccup placed a gentle hand on her abdomen as if to keep himself from hurting her dead body, and found himself hysterical, crying, feeling his fingers dig into her belly and feeling no more life under his hand.