"I found a nice car for you" he announces to me, breaking the awkward silence that had built up between us. It snaps me out of my own little dream world, I stare over at him with narrowed eyes swimming in absolute suspicion.
"What kind of car" I ask; the way he said "for you" and not just "nice car" is heavily implying that the vehicle is a piece of shit.
"Well it's not a car, it's actually a truck, a Chevy" I inwardly sing in praise because it can't be horrendous if it's a truck, I relax a bit in my seat.
"Where'd you find something like that?" I whistle, trying my best to cover up any trace of doubt in my voice.
"Do you remember the Arlets?"
"No"
"Oh come on, we used to go fishing with them all the time" Well that explains why I don't remember, I try to block out useless things I don't care about, especially when it deals with anything outdoor related.
"Anyways, Armin's grandfather is in a wheelchair, he offered to sell it to me for a pretty cheap price when he heard you were coming back down" he finishes, eyeing me for any hint of any emotion; I show known.
"Hmmm" I hum in recognition, picking at my nails, "What year is it?"
"It's only a few years old- They're great engineers and they've done a lot of work on the engine." Which basically translates to: 'Fuck you've caught me, but it's a shit engine that needed a lot of work on it'.
"When did he buy it?" I press on.
"1980 something, I don't really know, it runs nice though" theres an edge to his voice, it happens when he's nervous or is going to lie if he isn't already.
"Gri- Dad, if the engine messes up I won't be able to fix it, I'm not a mechanic" I sigh, tempted to pinch my brow just to show how upset this was getting me. Maybe he'd buy me a Porsche with his endless money supply if I throw a tantrum.
"I promise it runs great, checked it out myself" his voice has a near begging tone and I feel a little guilty, it's practically the most he's done for me in the past eight years.
"Alright, how cheap was it?" I relent but I still feel the need to pay him back for the entire thing. Debt and guilt is one thing I don't like hanging over me.
"They gave it to me for free as a homecoming present for you" he grins so cheekily, as if he should win father of the year award. I don't press the matter any more, I let him bask in his happiness. The truck can't be all that bad.
By God it's horrible. I see the orange rusty piece of garbage a mile away and any hopes of it being somewhat decent literally shatter inside of me. Despite this, I bite my tongue and smile happily. I want him to be happy, it's my first car, and I can always just buy a better one later if need be.
When we pull into the familiar driveway of our house I hastily unbuckle my seatbelt and put on the facade of a truly excited child, bouncing on the heels of my feet in quick strides to the truck.
I smile and 'examine' it, circling around it and peering over at my father.
"You like it?" he asks with a shy grin, scratching at his beard as he gets out of his side. I nod my head.
"It's great, I love it" I lie bitterly with a big fake grin. It does the trick and he heads to his trunk to help carry my bags inside.
Everything literally looks exactly the same, and in a way it's calming but also sort of creepy. Same furniture, some pictures hanging on the wall, the only thing different in the house would have to be the back screen door and that's probably because it got broken or something.
I make my way up the stairs with him tailing behind me; I already know exactly where my room is and I'm not sure what I was hoping to find when I opened the door but it certainly wasn't what I got.
"Left everything the way it was when you left, except I got you a new bed" he smiles proudly as if he deserves some sort of medal. He left everything exactly how it had been, save for a new twin bed against my comic book hero covered walls. It's embarrassing, to say the least, to stare at your past self.
My rocking horse in the corner, tall plush bear, small dresser, and box of toys that had once held interest. I sigh and force the smile back on my face, dumping my bags on my bed, thank god or whoever was up there that he hadn't bought me super hero bed sheets.
"It's great dad, thanks" I say and he smiles wider, "I could use a desk though, for school work and my computer."
The school work was just an excuse for him to get me one to be honest but it works and he nods his head, disappearing around the corner to do whatever it is that dads do. I sigh and begin the tedious task of unpacking all of my things.
After cramming as much as I could in the tiny dresser and hanging up the rest in the closet, I flop down on my bed and unpack my laptop, pulling it open and cutting it on. As I expected, he didn't passcode his wifi so I easily connect and click the little remember me box.
I open my skype and shoot Mikasa a quick message:
Jaeger606: I'm here. Everything is as horrendous as i remember it to be.
She's offline so I don't expect her to see it until later, she's probably caught up with her classes or something. I shut the lid and set it down on the floor beside my bed. A small glimmer of light from the setting sun peeps in from the green curtains on my window.
I lie back against my bedframe and stare at myself across the room into the vanity mirror connected to my dresser. I'm too tan, lean and skinny. In some ways I look more feminine than I do a man. Bags hang under my eyes and I begin to dwell on something that I hadn't really considered on the long ride here; School.
I don't really relate well to people my age, be it my anti-social attitude, the constant fighting, my sarcastic ego, or simply the way that I viewed things in general. I just never connect with people; not even my own mother or Mikasa who I was always joined to the hip with.
I just don't relate to anyone and no matter how hard I could try to explain to a therapist or anyone else that would ask, it would be marked off as something entirely unrelated.
I don't know how tomorrow is going to go, it's the beginning of something that I'm not ready for. A vibrant, tan ass partial German and Spanish boy from Shiganshina showing up in Rose will surely hit the headlines, especially the son of the notorious doctor Jeager.
I sigh and fall back against my pillow.
I don't sleep well at all, even after I cry my eyes out. The constant sound of the rain pelting the glass and the forest out back whooshing with the wind keep me up, a blanket and pillow over my head both are not enough to block out the noise and I don't actually get some sleep until around one in the morning with the rain finally eases up.
Of course he wakes me up early in the morning, because of course he expects me to go to school the day after I move back in. Apparently he had already called the high school up to inform the and get everything transferred.
I groan and begrudgingly force myself out of bed, checking my skype for any messages before taking a quick shower and dressing myself.
Breakfast is quiet and awkward, he sat reading his newspaper and drinking his coffee and I stood eating cereal over the counter. When he finishes he bids me a good day at school and leaves for the hospital.
It's scary how nothing has changed in the entire house and also unnerving. The paint work my mother did on the cabinets and walls were all the same, floral print. And the pictures, she was everywhere. Every corner I turned I saw her gaze staring back. It's sad to know that after all these years he still hasn't gotten over her.
I don't want to leave or go to school at all, but I also don't want to be in a house surrounded by pictures of my dead mother. it would probably be better to get to school early anyway.
I grab my school bag and phone, shoving the phone in my tight jean pocket, before heading towards the front door, shuffling to put my light coat on.
It's horrendously foggy outside and drizzling a bit too. I reach down under the door mat for the spare house key to lock up before making my way to my truck, I didn't have the time to admire its 'beauty'.
The inside is actually fairly decent from where Grisha had probably cleaned it up and it was warm and dry unlike outside so I have no complaints. The engine makes a high pitched keening noise when I turn the key in the ignition before loudly roaring to life. They'd hear me coming from miles away with. The only plus side to this vehicle is that the radio works.
The school is easy and simple to find; right off the highway, like most things, with a giant 'Rose High School' sign out front. It's hard to determine the size of the actual school from behind all the trees and shrubs until I pull into it's parking lot.
It looks dead and lifeless, more like a jail than anything.
I park near the sign that read 'Front Office' in a visitor parking space, the last thing I need is to get towed. As much as I want to stay in the toasty car, I force myself to get out of it, shoving the keys in the pocket with my phone and walking the little stoneway to the door to the building.
The office is small, and the waiting room is eerie as it's filled with nothing but folding chairs, plants, and twenty year old magazines. The room is cut in half by a counter that is littered with papers and pens and passes, I'm sure it would give someone suffering from OCD a heart attack just by looking at it.
"Can I help you?" an old, cranky voice chimes from behind the mass of disorganization. I pad over to the counter, she's an old redhead with heavy rimmed purple glasses and a purple t-shirt which immediately made me feel overdressed.
"I'm Eren Jeager" her eyes light up like a Christmas tree and she perks up a bit, giving me a good look over. Not even a day in and I'm already the topic of interest around the school.
"Of course!" she says a bit more merrily than before, digging through the stacks of papers on the counter until she found the one she was looking for, "I have your schedule right here, hun, and a map of the school."
She begins the tedious process of highlighting the best routes to each class on the sad excuse of a map and I pretend like I get everything that she is saying, when in actuality, I'm lost. By the end of it I've zoned out and just resorted to smiling dumbly and nodding whenever she looks up at me.
She smiles at me like Grisha did, secretly hoping that I'll like it here in Rose. Fat chance.
"Here's a slip for your teachers to sign, bring it back at the end of the day" she hands me the three papers and I smile as best as I possibly can back at her, "Have a good day, hun, if you have any questions just drop by!"
"Thank you, you too" I respond, my voice a bit detached.
I examine the map on my way back out to my truck, trying to decode the bastard as best as possible before heading into the jungle. Students are already arriving and I feel a bit relieved that most of the cars are old like mine, at least I won't stand out. The only vehicle that was expensive was a shiny Volvo that really stood out, rich pricks.
I pep talk myself. I can do this, I lie feebly to myself. No one is going to bite me. I finally exhale and pull my hood over my head, keeping my face pulled back into it as I walk with to the sidewalk crowded with teenagers and thankfully my plain black jacket didn't stand out.
Once I was in the Cafeteria, building three was easy to spot. Just a large black three painted on a square to the east corner. I swear I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack as I approach my first class.
I copied some of the people heading into the room and I noticed, to my dismay, that almost all of them were creamy toned so when I copied them and removed my coat I immediately caught some curious eyes.
"And who might you be?" The balding teacher, with the name plate on his desk identifying him as Baldo, asks from his seat. All eyes are glued to me now as the bell rings and I shakily hand him the slip of paper.
"Eren.. Jeager?" he gawks a bit when he says my name and eyes me up and down and I flush tomato red in response, thankfully he sends me to an empty desk in the back after signing my sheet and doesn't make me introduce myself to the class. It's harder for the bastards to stare at me if I'm in the back at least.
I pretend to take interest in the reading list he had given me. All if it, of course, were things that I had already read it is comforting and boring at the same time and I wish that I had kept the old essays that I'd written on them so that I wouldn't have to re-do them.
When the bell rings after a long, boring lecture on Shakespeare, a boy with more freckles than beach has sand comes up immediately to me from across the aisle.
"You're Eren Jeager, right?" he asks as if he doesn't know. He looks like the chess club nerdy type and my gaydar is off the charts with him.
"Eren" I respond and everyone just turns and stares at me as if I am the pope himself.
"Where's your next class" he asks, craning his neck to take a look at my schedule.
"Government with Pixis in building six" I respond after checking it myself.
"I can show you the way, I'm heading towards building four" he offers hopefully. I feel shitty for wanting to reject his offer but I nod anyways, "I'm Marco"
"Thanks" I smile and grab my backpack from the floor, slinging it over my shoulder and stuffing my schedule in my back pocket. I grab my jacket and head back out into the storm. I feel so paranoid that everyone is trying to eavesdrop and hell, they probably are.
"So this is a lot different from sunny Shiganshina I bet" he jokingly asks.
"Very"
"It doesn't really rain much there, right?"
"About three or four times a year"
"Wow, that must be pretty…."
"Sunny" I finish for him, scowling at the rain in disdain.
"I bet, you have quite a tan on you" He compliments.
"I wouldn't have known, thanks" I joke back sarcastically but apparently sarcasm and rainy days just don't mix in this town. He walks me straight up to my class as if I don't see the number clearly written plain as day on the door.
"Well, good luck! Hopefully we'll have more classes together!" he sounds so cheerful, I give him a small smile and nod in response.
The rest of my morning goes about the same way except my Trigonometry teacher, Mr. Zackly whom I already despise just because of what subject he teachers, was the only teacher to make me introduce myself to the class. I stuttered, flushed red, and I nearly killed myself on the way to my assigned seat.
It was easy to recognize people, there aren't that many kids who attend this school anyways so I was bound to get a lot of the same people in each class I have. And unfortunately some of them introduce themselves to me.
There is one girl who I sat with in both Trig and Spanish, she is shorter than me and I'm only five feet five inches tall which is still a bit short for my gender and age. She has long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and deep brown eyes and if it weren't for the fact that I'm gay I'd probably swoon for her. I can't remember her name so I just smile as she goes on about the teachers and her friends. I didn't so much as even attempt to keep up with her as she prattled on, I just stared boredly out the window as it rained.
She walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch and had me sit at her table with her friends, they seemed impressed with me in some unspoken way and introduced themselves; Sasha, Krista, Ymir, Thomas, Jean, and Marco who waves at me excitedly like a child getting a puppy for Christmas.
It is then, in the shitty cafeteria of Rose High school, surrounding by people I knew jack shit about and trying as best as I possibly can to ignore every sound that they make, that I see them.
No. That I see him.