A/N: Sorry I took a while to post this chapter! I was just struggling to get to the point I needed to get to, but I managed at last... :)

Chapter title is taken from the song by Ross Copperman.

Five months…

That's how long it had been now. Five months since she was last in Tree Hill… five months since she'd been to school, five months since she'd seen Lucas and everyone… five months since she'd been a free person.

She was lost. She was forgetting what she stood for, forgetting what she believed in. There used to be a fire in her, a fire so powerful that no loss or tragedy could ever take it away... never completely. That was until she met him. He stole that fire from her, he put it out, and now she was starting to become an empty shell of who she used to be. She didn't want that to happen, but at the same time… it was easier to just let him win.

Peyton stared at the roof, listening to his heavy breath. The room was dark and chilly, and the bed sheets were wrapped around her unhealthy body to keep her warm. She couldn't sleep. She stared at the roof, trying to suppress all the thoughts running around in her head about what he made her do. It was so conflicting, all the thoughts going around in her head all the time. Keep him happy and avoid pain, or fight back and let him break her… She never went for the latter anymore though, she only ever thought about it. Fighting. She didn't fight him anymore. What was the point? She wasn't stupid enough to make him angry on purpose, he'd only make it so much worse if she did. But she still felt so guilty for allowing him to do these things to her.

The day Derek finally managed to break her, was the day everything had changed. She had thought that day couldn't get any worse, but it did. Derek had told her he was going to punish her for her drawings of him, and he hadn't lied. At first it seemed like he'd forgotten about it, but once they entered the bedroom, the drawings were still there, catching his eye, and it triggered his anger once more. She was already so broken, and hadn't even managed to fight back as he brutally beat her and forced himself on her. After that night, she'd been in bed for a whole week. Things didn't get easier after. Over the next months, he made sure she followed his rules with a strict hand, just as he had warned her he would. He had gotten tired of her stubbornness.

The only thing that brought Peyton some elements of happiness, some belief in the fact that not all things were evil, was Penelope. Her only friend. Although her brain told her to hate the little creature, hate it because he was the one who had given it to her, she couldn't. She was so innocent. In Peyton's mind, it wasn't Penelope's fault that Derek had picked her, she couldn't have helped it. Peyton had also been picked by him. She had to tell herself it wasn't her fault, that she never could have foreseen this, just like Penelope had never had a choice either, but she didn't fully believe that. Peyton was convinced she could have stopped it. She always went back in time, revisiting her memories, and she wished she could scream at the girl she used to be, scream at her to be more careful. To stop being so open about her life to the world. Don't put everything out there! He'll see it… he'll come for you! Don't… but of course that didn't help. It was all of the past.

Derek mumbled something in his sleep, making her come back to reality, but he turned to his side and continued his worriless sleep.

Peyton exhaled and something on his nightstand caught her eye. It was a framed picture of herself; one he'd been so proud of that he had insisted on placing there. She was just glad it was one of the pictures where she was still wearing her clothes, anyway. The picture hanging in the living room was worse though; it was a big photo covering a part of the wall, of the two of them kissing. She made sure to avoid looking at it whenever she was there; it made her feel so ashamed.

Peyton turned away from him, and her eyes fell on the digital watch on her side. It was 5 AM. God… why couldn't she fall asleep? He'd wake up in a few hours, and she really needed the rest until then.

Then, all of a sudden, she realized what it was. Her hand slowly came up to cover her mouth, as she remembered exactly why her mind wouldn't let her rest. It was this day. It was graduation day. She should have been graduating today. The end of high school. All her friends were graduating… and she was here. She covered her mouth to smother a sob, but a small sound escaped her lips. She cursed to herself, Derek hated it when she cried. The sound didn't go unheard though, and slowly, he awoke.

"What is it?" he mumbled sleepily, and she could hear him turning around to look at her.

She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep, her back turned to him. She could hear him sit up and move closer, his hand grabbing her shoulder and gently shaking her. "Peyton?"

She didn't answer, and tried to make her breathing even out to normal, to keep him from suspecting anything. It seemed like he let it go, because a moment later he laid back down, and to her misery he wrapped his possessive arms around her. She could feel his lips peck her neck, and then, slowly his breathing became heavier again. She opened her eyes when she was sure he had fallen back asleep, and stared miserably into the wall, whispering quietly: "Happy graduation, Peyton."

X

"Happy graduation!" Karen stood in the doorway to Lucas' room with a bright smile on her face. "You look lovely, Lucas."

Lucas stood in front of the mirror, dressed in a black suit, fixing his tie. He smiled back at his mom. It seemed like her baby bump was growing bigger day by day.

"Here, let me help you." Karen took over Lucas' actions in doing his tie; he seemed distracted, and it was the least she could do for her grown-up son.

"Mom, I can do it myself. I'm not a little boy anymore."

"Maybe not, but you're still my little boy." She patted his cheek and took a step back, studying him with a proud beam. "Well, maybe you're not that little…" she said as she watched him. He looked so grown up – his appearance had changed more and more over the last months, some of it for the better, and some of it for the worse. Karen tried her best to avoid seeing the sad look always haunting his eyes, she tried to avoid seeing the dark circles underneath, and she tried to avoid seeing how overly pale he looked. What she did take notice in, was how his body looked stronger (he'd been exercising every day), more trained, and how his attitude was even more mature than ever. It saddened her though… it was like the playful part of him was slowly disappearing, he was so serious all the time, and she doubted that was all too healthy.

She'd tried persuading him into seeing someone, into start talking to a professional, because she didn't like the way he locked all his thoughts inside, all to himself. It became more and more clear that he needed help getting through this, but he wouldn't have it. He was convinced the only thing that would truly help, would be getting her back, and by now Karen had come to terms with the fact that it was probably not happening anytime soon, as horrible as that may be.

As much as she wanted him to keep believing, she was also scared of the fact that she might not come back, and what would he do then? He couldn't wait for his life to continue until she came back, when they didn't know when or if that would even happen. Karen had tried mentioning to him that what if she didn't come back, what if she was gone and would stay gone… she'd tried telling him he would have to move on then, but Lucas had blankly refused to listen to her, being furious and hurt.

Karen sighed as a tear threatened to fall. "You really are all grown up now, aren't you? I can't believe you're graduating already…"

Lucas smiled a weary smile and shifted on his feet. "Thanks for always being here for me, mom… I love you."

Karen smiled her usual warm smile as a tear finally tickled down her cheek. Without warning, she pulled her arms around him and they embraced in a tight hug. Lucas shut his eyes tightly, his bottom lip suddenly quivering.

They stood like that for a moment, before Karen finally pulled away and sniffled loudly.

"Let's get going, shall we? We don't want to be late."

X

The graduation ceremony had been thrilling and painful all at the same time. They were all excited about the end of high school, the beginning of a new era, but they were also feeling the loss of a missing presence, of someone who should have been there. It was hard to let go of that feeling. To Lucas it felt like graduation was trying to force him to let go and move on, life was moving forward, but he tried to shove that thought to the back of his head. He would never let go.

Haley had held her speech, and of course mentioned Peyton along the way. The room had been uncomfortably quiet, the air filled with sadness as she spoke of her, but once she moved on, the mood in the room lightened up again. But not Lucas.

After the ceremony, people gathered with each other to talk and to say their goodbyes. Lucas and Karen were talking to Nathan, Haley and Brooke, when Lucas' eyes suddenly fell on someone unexpected standing at the corner of the room; Larry. He was standing there, trying to stay unnoticed, while having a sad look on his face. He was unshaved and wearing a garage work suit.

"Excuse me," Lucas mumbled, leaving the conversation to go see Larry. Brooke saw where he was headed, and followed.

"Larry? What are you doing here?" he said once he was close enough.

"Hi Lucas… Brooke," he nodded. "Congratulations on the graduation." He gave them a weary smile.

"Thank you, Larry. It's good to see you here," Brooke said and smiled sweetly. It wasn't too long since they'd seen him, but it had been a few weeks since their last visit.

"I know I look like a mess right now," Larry said, showing to his dirty work clothes. "I was just working on- on the car, trying to keep it running… She would be pissed if her car stopped working." Lucas nodded.

"And then I just… I felt like I needed to be here. At her graduation… she should have graduated today…" his voice traced off.

Brooke grabbed his arm and squeezed. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I-I got a letter addressed to her about a week ago. Apparently she applied to an internship at SIRE records in LA a short while before she-" He swallowed. "And I just got her acceptance letter. She got accepted to it. She should have started there this summer…"

Brooke gasped and Lucas felt a lump in his throat. He clenched his fists. "Oh God… I'm so sorry, Larry."

"Yeah… I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it though. I know I should probably turn it down, but I… can't get myself to do it."

"I know," Lucas muttered. "You shouldn't have to think about that."

"Thank you, Lucas. Well, I should get going. I just wanted to be here… But I have to finish fixing up the car for her. I'll see you both," he said with a forced smile and turned his back on them.

"Bye, Larry. It was good to see you."

They stood in silence as they watched him leave.

"Last summer I would never have believed this was how the next year would end…" Brooke muttered.

"Yeah…"

Last summer…

Lucas got the sudden feeling of having forgotten something. There was something he needed to remember, a crucial memory. He didn't know why that feeling had suddenly appeared now, out of nowhere, but he needed to figure out what it was. There was something about last summer… Something Peyton had told him.

He had no idea where this was coming from, but he tried intently to remember. She'd been sitting alone at the beach… He'd just seen Brooke off to LA, and had then gone for a walk. That's when he found her. She hadn't wanted to be home alone, and had asked him to stay with her. But why had she been scared to be home alone?

There was something about Ellie… Peyton said… she said someone had been sending her creepy emails. That was it! At the time, she had thought it was Ellie, but knowing what he knew now, it obviously hadn't been Ellie! Emails… that's it.

He didn't know why he had remembered this now, after months of searching his mind for clues… Maybe it was the fact that life was forcing him to move forward, especially now with graduation, and his mind was simply forcing him to remember this hidden memory.

"Brooke?" he muttered under his breath.

"Hm?"

"At the end of last school year… did Peyton ever mention someone sending her creepy emails?"

She looked clueless, raising one eyebrow. "No… I don't think-" Her eyes suddenly widened. "Wait…" she whispered. Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember.

"Well, there was something. I never thought too much about it… I went to visit her the day I was leaving, and she was acting kind of jumpy," she said slowly with closed eyes, trying to remember exactly what had happened. "She asked me about some creepy username… WATCHMEWATCHU, that's right. She asked me if I knew who it was. I figured it was just some perv watching her webcam…" Brooke opened her eyes, looking slightly terrified. "Do you think that was him?"

Lucas slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure it was."

He turned around just in time to see Larry leaving out the door. "C'mon," he mumbled to Brooke, and they hurried after him.

He knew this was probably a weak clue, but maybe the police would be able to track down who had made that user. Maybe they'd find a name or a hometown or something. He didn't dare getting his hopes up though, he'd been disappointed too many times now, but he still had to check this out. Maybe there would be something.

"Larry!" he shouted as they got outside.

Larry turned around to see Lucas and Brooke hurrying towards him.

"We need to check something on Peyton's computer."