A/N: to oblige a friend who sent me an adorably prompt on Tumblr, here's some daddy!Killian experiencing a classic first-time-daddy paranoia, and facing a bit of a hassle with the baby car seat. A bit of humor, lots of fluff, and Captain Cobra for you this time :)

Edit: as you may have noticed, this was previously named You Are Unbelievable but I've decided to change it and make this a series of one-shots of Killian's little fiascos with our world's paraphernalia. I'll be constantly adding more one-shots to this series and feel free to send me any prompts and ideas of yours.

Thank you for reading and your feedback, as always, is much appreciated and welcomed :) Enjoy! xx

Killian versus the infant car seat

She was lying with her head on his thigh as his hand joined both of hers, softly caressing her very round belly and enjoying the occasional kicks their baby saluted them with.

Apparently little Liam was enjoying his cohabiting of Emma's body a bit too much for he was a week overdue. As a result, Emma was growing increasingly uncomfortable with each passing day, sudden mood swings having long been accepted as a less than exciting part of their daily routine, and chinese takeout plus Netflix having become their easiest option for a date night.

They were watching, as per usual, one of those sappy, predictable romantic comedies she vows she only watches to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

(To be perfectly honest, he finds he quite likes those movies too, but he'd be damned if he ever admits it before she does.)

This one was about an unlikely couple - the woman too stubborn for her own good and the man an untamed womaniser of sorts, who never thought he'd find a romantic side in him and settle down. They develop a strange friendship based on their mutual banter and undeniable attraction for one another, until their lives are changed when they have to take care of a baby together.

The plot seemed oddly too similar to their own story for a chance pick, but when he pressed his Swan on why she'd chosen that particular film for tonight she shrugged and winked conspicuously at him. She merely said she wanted to watch any movie with a baby wreaking havoc around them to make her laugh, but he knew there was more behind her reason than a casual Thursday night entertainment option.

All throughout her 41 weeks of pregnancy, Emma has been dealing with the internal conflict of wanting their baby to be born and loved by them as soon as he was ready to come into the world, at the same time that it scared her out of her mind to think that she'd never raised a child before and might not do a decent job at taking care of a newborn.

Killian was treading his hook gently through her hair when he looked down and noticed a few tears rolling down the sides of her face. The woman on the screen had helplessly tried to feed the now three year old child and only succeeded in getting baby puree all over her face, and Emma was staring at the tv with a sad smile - her thoughts clearly far away from the fictional story and much closer to her reality. He wipes her tears and leans down to place a kiss on her forehead before bringing his hand back to tracing lazy circles on her round belly.

"You know we'll do a much better job at that than them, don't you, Swan?"

She turns to face his comforting blue eyes and soft smile, her own lips curving upwards slightly at his effect on her. He never failed to soothe her fears, her incredibly sensitive pirate and beloved husband.

"I do know it, but I can't help but being scared anyway." She sighed. "How can you be so calm about this?"

"I believe in us, Emma. I can feel we'll be great parents." Her smiled widened and she felt new tears, happy tears, welling up in her eyes seeing the sincerity in his. "For one thing, we've had plenty of practice feeding your brother. I'm sure you'd manage to get more food in the baby's mouth than all over you, unlike the poor lass over there."

"Well, let's not forget how Neal decided he didn't approve of my brand new white dress for our second date and vomited an entire bottle I spent a good time feeding him with."

They both chuckled at the memories of their first New Year's Eve together. Killian had patiently waited until Emma had tried on a few more outfits before finally deciding on one. Apparently theoir nostalgic moment was also quite amusing to Liam, who started to kick excitedly in response to Emma's giggles.

"Let's just hope our little lad is a bigger fan of your clothing choices than little Bae." He said, booping her nose and placing a soft kiss there.

Emma was giggling again, all her worries about taking care of the baby momentarily forgotten until she suddenly sat up and let out a pained oof.

"Love? What is it?" He asked, his brows pinching together in apprehension.

He followed Emma's gaze to the sofa cushion beneath her thighs and saw a puddle forming there.

She turned to look at him with wide eyes and a nervous smile, taking the hand he still kept protectively over her belly and giving it a firm squeeze.

"Killian, I think my water just broke."

Liam Swan-Jones came into the world at 2:17am and thankfully Emma's labour was rather fast and without any complications - that is until the sun rose. Killian, who had barely slept at all that night, choosing to watch over his beautiful wife and their son sleeping peacefully on the hospital bed instead, started getting paranoid when he realised they were taking their son home that afternoon.

He tiptoed out of the room after placing a kiss on the top of Emma's and Liam's heads, and drove the good ol' yellow bug (Emma had insisted they kept it at least until space for the baby became an issue) to meet Henry and the Charmings at Granny's for an unusually early breakfast.

"Hey, there's the new daddy!" Mary Margaret spotted Killian walking into the diner and got up to greet him with a hug. "Congratulations, Killian! How are you feeling?"

"I feel grand, absolutely wonderful! Thank you." He hugged her back and no, those were definitely not happy tears prickling the corners of his suddenly emotional eyes.

He was beaming at the people who had kindly accepted and welcomed him as family long ago, and whom he had come to love more than he ever thought he'd be capable of after being abandoned by an unloving father, and losing both his mother and his brother brutally.

(He had long figured that having a family was something the gods would never grant him with, wasted years and endless torment having been bitterly accepted as all there was to his fate, as well as loss and tragedy - but of those he'd already known more than his fair share.)

(Needless to say everything changed when a woman with an all-knowing stare, eyes more green than all the seas he'd sailed, golden hair more luminous than the sun itself, and that smile that could guide him home better than the stars he'd spent his centuries of existence painstakingly mapping.)

"How are you doing, mate?" David asked, adorably failing at mocking his accent - Killian had long figured out who Emma got her penchant for making fun of his accent from.

(It was not a rare occasion when in the middle of a family dinner Killian would say something as trivial as Could you pass me the mash, mate? and that was all it took it took for father and daughter to team up and mock his lilting enunciation for the rest of the evening. Henry would soon join them, unless of course he wanted to ask something of Killian later, which often was a request for more tales of his adventures aboard the Jolly, or the countless times he beat Blackbeard in a duel.)

"Could definitely use some sleep, but other than that I'm great." He clapped David on the shoulder friendly. "Thanks, Dave." He added with a wink, and the two of them chuckled as they walked to a booth.

"How's my little brother doing, Killian?" Henry asked, all wide eyes and sheer excitement. "And mum?"

"I'll wager you my last doubloons they're both still sound asleep." He sat beside him on the booth and brought his arm around his shoulders, pulling him into his side and kissing the top of his tousled hair.

"You're probably right." Henry chuckled. "When can we see them again?"

"We can all go right after we finish breakfast if you wish." Killian replied with a smile. "I just need to order some pancakes to go and stop home to get the infant car seat before making my way to the hospital."

"Pancakes?" David asked, tilting his head with a bemused look.

"Aye. Emma hated the watery soup she got for dinner last night. Not that I blame her. Hospital food certainly looks atrocious, I'm sure the taste isn't any better." He said grimacing - even after all these years Emma hadn't managed to make him acknowledge jello as actual food. He ate it alright, he didn't mind the taste much, but he still found it extremely bizarre.

"That's very sweet, Killian." Mary Margaret said smiling. "Well, we need to grab a few things at home before heading to the hospital, too. Meet you there later?"

"Sounds good." Killian nodded. "How about you, lad? Want to go with your grandparents now or come with me later?"

"Hm, I think you could use an extra hand with the baby seat." Henry scrunched his nose up in the exact same way Emma did when she was teasing him.

"For you information, I can handle myself pretty well, lad." He said after tickling Henry's side with his hook - his default payback whenever the boy teased him about it. "But I'll love your company all the same."

"Trust me, Killian, you'll need my company." Henry sounded so sure of himself that Killian couldn't help but wonder how much of that demeanour the boy had picked up from himself. "I'll go order the pancakes to go then."

"How the bloody hell is one supposed to install this damned thing?!"

It had seemed like a fairly simple task at first. There were only two steps: First, secure the plastic base on the car seat by passing the seat belt through the holes on it and clicking it fastened on the other side. Then, fix the chair on top of the base with the safety locks connecting the two parts together. After that the only thing left for him to do was adding the protective cover pads to the straps near the harness so the belt wouldn't mark the baby's delicate skin and voilà.

Easy enough, he had thought.

He couldn't have been more wrong. For starters he didn't even manage to accomplish step one without getting his hand tangled up in the knot he'd made of the seat belt. What was the point in all those loops he had to pass the belt through anyway? Of course, it didn't help the fact that he was barely using his hook for assistance for fear of scratching or breaking the plastic base - the wafty thing already seemed too fragile to hold a baby in place in the event of an accident without any additional scratches and dents his hook could cause.

(He had discussed the issue with Swan many times before, and he'd never have found an infant car seat that was safe enough for their little one if she hadn't convinced him that the one they ended up buying was perfectly safe and reliable.)

"Brilliant. What now." He cursed under his breath wondering how he'd get his hand out of the mess of straps without using his hook to rip through all of it.

"Told ya." Henry said as he approached the car carrying a bag with clean clothes for Emma to change into. "Sure you don't need a hand there?"

"Watch the mocking, lad." He sighed in defeat. "But, yes, you were right. Do you mind?" He motioned for Henry to come to his rescue with his hook.

Henry grabbed the seat belt and with a few swift tugs here and there he not only freed Killian's hand, but also finished the job, clicking the harness on the other side of the base successfully.

"Wait, you've done this before, haven't you?"

"One could say spending time with my mum, Robin and Roland taught me a few things about small children." Henry replied with a shrug and a smug smile. "As you can see, baby car seats are part of my skills set now."

"I won't underestimate you big brother skills again, lad." Killian chuckled and patted his shoulder affectionately. "I just hope changing nappies is included on that list because there'll be plenty of those for you to take care of."

"Ew." Henry twisted his face comically.

Henry helped him secure the chair onto the base and click all the safety locks closed before moving on to put the bag of clothes on the trunk.

Killian covered the straps with a pair of cushioned sleeves that had a plush blue fish on each one, running his fingers over them with a fond smile on his face and wondering whether his little boy would be so fond of the sea as both his parents were.

"You alright?" Henry asked from behind the bug.

"Aye. Come have a look, I checked that all the safety locks were down, added the strap cover pads, and I also gave the whole thing a good shake to see if it stays in place." Killian reported with the proud grin of a son who runs to show his parents a test he'd aced on his face.

"Well done, that's a good job." Henry gave him his deserved praise biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the silly smile on the pirate's face.

"Right, now shall we get going? We don't want those pancakes to get cold before they make it to your mum's stomach."

"Yeah, let's go."

Killian soon got the hang of it after only a few days, being able to secure the base, the chair and the cushion pads all by himself within less than five minutes. Henry never let him forget to give him his due credit for teaching the old pirate the infant car seat ways, though.

When Liam was four years old, he would still give the chair quite a thorough shake every single time before sitting his son there and adjusting the straps around his chest.

Saying Killian Jones was a bit of an overprotective father was as much of an understatement as saying Emma Swan was moderately insistent.

(He was ecstatic to find Liam soon became obsessed with the sea and its creatures - which is no surprise, really, given his room was decorated with a sea motif and lots of different fish and a few boats sailing atop the foaming waves Killian himself had painted on the baby blue walls.

He would giggle and clap his little hands excitedly every time the four of them went sailing on the boat Emma and he bought on their first wedding anniversary, The Swan.)

Thank you so much for all your lovely words on the last two pieces, I can't tell you how much it means to me to get these responses from you. I hope you enjoyed this one as well!

Review? :D