Only in My Dreams

by Riptide14

The setting is about 6 months after the epilogue. Basic premise is about Tobias's life after where it leaves off. He begins having vivid dreams with Tris who warns him of some danger coming to the city that he and his friends will have to stop before he threatens to destroy the city. Can Tobias save the city once again and stay away from the paralyzing grief of losing Tris?

2. Reunion

Hey guys hope you are liking the story! REVIEW and tell me what you think please! Also the dreams will be in italics fyi. Love ya~Riptide14

Chapter 2-Reunion

"Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep"

I walk into my apartment and slam the door. I am exhausted from work, the election and most importantly the information Matthew told me. I am been tossing the idea around in my head all day. The apartment is freezing but I don't mind it because I am too frustrated and tired to care. But I didn't notice how hungry I was until my stomach grumbles. I go to the refrigerator and get the same old boring dinner. After I heat it up, I sit at my small table and have the usual lonely dinner. And after repeating this routine I call it a night and go to the couch. I can't sleep. My mind is racing about the serum. I don't know if it's going to help. But I can't let my fear of grief and loneliness get in my way. I have to do this. Maybe this is what those dreams mean. Is this what Tris was trying to tell me? I fall asleep running the possibilities in my head

" Tobias. Wake up." A familiar voice calls. I slowly open my eyes and I stare into the blue eyes that I missed so much.

" Tris?" I ask groggily as I wake up

" Wh-what are you doing here?"

She smiles at me and says," wouldn't you love to know. "

I sit up and reach out to touch her but somehow she is further back then I thought.

" Tris! Wait!"

She is slowly fading away as she smiles and says," you're moment is coming Tobias. You have to save them."

" Save them? Save who? Tris wait!"

And then I hear a gunshot

I jump and sit up in my bed screaming. My body is sweaty and I am breathing hard. This dream was even more vivid then yesterday's. What is going on? I rub my face and grit my teeth. She was so close. I just wanted to touch her again. I just want to be with her again. I need to be with her again. I can't do this anymore. Tears begin to form and I say to myself:

Stop. Don't do this.

But it's too late and all of the pain, grief, loneliness, guilt and longing come back and hits my body hard. I am sobbing uncontrollably and my body is shaking. This just isn't fair. I thought I was picking up the pieces and healing but I am not. I don't think I ever can.

Soon when my blanket is damp with tears, I finally calm down and touch the birds on my chest. I have to remember that I might see her again in the morning. I rub my red eyes and lay back down on the couch trying to go to sleep. But I can't and I stare at the ceiling.

In the morning I get up and get ready. Forty-five minutes later I am already at the lab with Matthew. He greets me and walks me into the lab. It's white and steely reminding me of the room where we did the fear simulations in Dauntless. Matthew motions to the cold chair and I sit down and lean back. He comes over with a needle with a clear liquid.

" So what will happen is that I will inject you with the serum while you are laying down. Unlike the other serums it makes you fall asleep. Once you are asleep I can only grant you 30 minutes before I have to get you out. Any more then that and you could die. Understand?" He asks.

I nod at Matthew and he takes the needle and injects it into my neck. I haven't been injected in a while so I jump at first but relax once I am familiar with it. Slowly my body feels heavier and my eyes start to close. And then I am gone.

I am now walking through a meadow. It is a beautiful sunny day and the skies are blue and clear. I haven't seen anything so beautiful before and it amazes me that this might have been how the world was before the Purity Wars.

"Tobias!" a voice calls.

I turn towards it and my stomach does a flip. It's her.

" Tris." I respond breathlessly.

She is a little further away then me but she smiles and rushes towards me. I quickly walk to her and we meet half way. And I touch her. I touch her and I wrap her up in my arms and spin her small yet strong body around. I remember how her body felt, warm and certain and I hold her close. She wraps her hands around my neck and buries her head in my shoulder as she starts sobbing. I start to cry too and we hold each. Finally I pull away just enough to look at her and I drink in her face. It's even more beautiful then I remember and it's so soft and angelic. She has long hair again, her golden hair shining in the sunlight. She is wearing a long white flowing dress. I have never really seen her in a dress but she looks gorgeous. I rub my thumb over her cheeks wiping away her tears and I slowly lean in. My lips find hers and it's like we haven't missed a thing. We were made for each other and I see that now as our lips collide. I kiss her lovingly and passionately, pouring all of my emotions from the last three years into it. She does the same as she pulls me closer and it's the best kiss in my life. She pulls back and looks at me, saying with tears in her eyes," I missed you so much. I am so sorry, I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to I sw-."

I hush her as she starts to cry again and I say," I know. I missed you too. God I missed you so much. " I say as my voice cracks and I hug her tightly again never wanting to let go. Tris holds me and then pulls back to look at me.

She takes my rough hands and says," Listen there is something I need to warn you about Tobias."

This sounds too familiar. Wait has it been really her in my dreams?

" Wait those dreams...they were actually you?"

She nods and says," There is a lot about the world that you don't know Tobias. Where I have been for the last three years is nothing you have ever seen before. It's not heaven but it can be close. Right now I am stuck between the two worlds and I supposedly can't leave until I find peace with my loved ones. I can't leave until I help you and the city. Tobias something is out there that will destroy the city and the world. You need to stop them. I have been watching you and."

" Wait you have? How?"

She smirks and says" Tobias I am basically a ghost. This is all part of what I am doing. But even though I am controlling this. " She squeezes my hand, "Like for instance I can I touch you here. But in the real world you physically can't see me but I have been there. I have seen everything that my death has done to you and I am so sorry. I didn't want this for you. I wanted you to move on and forgive me."

I look at her and I can't keep my eyes off of her. I don't want to be away from her again.

"It's alright Tris. Sure these three years have been hell but I don't blame you. At first I was very angry but now I have accepted why you sacrificed yourself and I am at peace with it. "

She smiles and says," I hope so. I can't see you in pain anymore. It breaks my heart. But listen. There is a very powerful destructive weapon in Chicago. A resistance group wants to unleash it on the city and you have to find them and stop it before something bad happens."

"How can I do that Tris? I have no idea who this resistance group is let alone what they want."

She sighs and says, " I know you don't but you need to look out for it. You are the only one in that city who can lead them and stop its destruction."

"But I am not their leader. Johanna was elected mayor and she will be."

She looks at me with those bright eyes that I missed so much and says, "You shouldn't doubt your strength Tobias. You always told me how strong and kind I was and you gave me the confidence to be brave. But you are just as strong and kind as me maybe even a little more. You need to deny this and see yourself for who you really are. I know who you really are and I have missed seeing your strength and courage everyday. But now you need to show the world who you are."

I smirk and ask," Have you been talking to too many dead philosophers Tris?"

She rolls her eyes and says, "Maybe but I am serious."

I put my arms up in defense, " Oh no I get that Socrates."

"Get over here smartass."

She bunches the front of my shirt up and pulls my lips over to hers. I smile against her lips and wrap my arms around her, pulling her against me. I missed her lips, her body and how she felt when I held her. I finally got my one more. She suddenly pulls away and says sadly, " Time is almost up."

"What? No…no! That wasn't 30 minutes. "

She nods sadly and says, "I am sorry Tobias but it is." She pulls me into another passionate kiss and I refuse to believe that its time to leave. I can't not when she is right her. I can't go yet. One more. One more minute.

She pulls away with tears in her eyes and says, "I love you Tobias. I love you so much. I will wait for you. I will be right in the middle until you time on Earth done.

"Tris wait-"

She shakes her head, " There is no more time left. You need to go and save the city."

I look at her with tears in my eyes forming, "I love you Tris."

She touches my cheek gently and says," I know. Be Brave Tobias."

Suddenly the world is turning black and hazy and I know I am waking up.

But still I reach out for her, trying to hold her and finally keep her. But I can't and I scream in frustration.

I wake up screaming, "TRIS!"

Small hands touch my shoulder and I hear Matthew's voice says, "Tobias it's alright-"

I don't know why but something ignites in my core and I turn towards Matthew and yell.

"No! It's not ALRIGHT! She is dead! Dead! How the hell is that alright?"

He looks shocked but says calmly, "I know but you were freaking out-"

"Damn right I was freaking out! I had to leave her again and I can't touch her or talk to her now because she is dead. How the hell do you think this serum will help people? All it does is it makes the death and the loss hurt all over again!"

I hop off the chair and storm out of the lab. I get out side and place my hands on either side of my face and scream. I scream out of frustration because I can't be with her. I scream because she thinks I am some savior of the city and I scream because it hurts. The pain hurts too much and now I am back at square one. How can I be brave now?