Chapter 19

"Naruto..."

Said blond gulped.

"Long time no see." The man at the door gave a lecherous grin, eyeing the figure in front of him up and down. "The years have been good to you."

...SLAM! Naruto shut the door right in the sucker's face, hearing him give a howl of pain as the wood hit him right in the nose. But that didn't stop him, oh no; soon, he started pounding on the door, calling, "Naruto! C'mon baby, let me in!"

"NO!" Naruto defiantly yelled, cringing at the 'baby'. He dragged his sorry ass back to bed and lay down. With a sigh, he buried himself in his blankets and tried shutting out the racket.

Just...ignore...the frantic knocking...

...Hmm, what do you know, it's like the noise isn't even there!

"Hey there."

"AAAAARRRRRRAAAHHHH!" Naruto jumped, tumbling from the bed, shocked at the sudden voice that blew into his ear.

The red head crouched down next to the boy on the floor, the grin back in place (though his nose was a bit swollen). He was clearly amused at the blonde.

"H-h-h-h-how did you get in?" Naruto yelped, struggling to untangle his limbs from his blanket. After a while, he just gave up and lay curled up on the floor in his 'nest'.

"You forgot to lock the door, dumb ass. All you did was slam it in my face." Grin.

"Oh..." Heheheh...oops. See, he really did need sleep! Why else would he be so stupid? (Don't answer that!)

"So, hey, I was wondering, kit...can I live with you?" the man asked while ruffling Naruto's hair around playfully.

"W-What?" Naruto bit out. The man started pouting.

"No! No fucking way! What the hell, do you even have to ask?" Naruto exclaimed incredulously, giving the man a WTF look and ignoring the quivering bottom lip.

"But I've changed! Those years in the slammer did me some good, and I've realized..." Here, he paused for dramatic effect.

"That..."

More dramatic pausing. Naruto felt a migraine coming along.

"That...I LOVE YOU NARUTO!" At that, all one hundred forty three pounds of the red head pounced on Naruto, who was crushed into a bear hug.

"K-K-Kyuubi! Damn it, go away!" he choked out, clawing at the arms around his neck. It didn't work.

"But Narutoooo! I'm not doing drugs anymore! Or smoking!" the grown man bawled into Naruto's hair, "And I'm not prone to violent tendencies anymore either, I swear!"

Naruto was sceptical of that though, especially since he was being suffocated right now. That's got to count as a violent tendency, or his name wasn't Uzumaki Naruto!

"And I promise I won't bother you! I just don't have a place to live!" Kyuubi wailed, still squeezing the life out of the tinier male.

"K-K-Ky-Kyuubi! Let go!" Naruto gasped, really turning blue now. He pounded on Kyuubi's back, trying to make him realize he was in pain, damn it! When that didn't work, he tried wiggling around, but that only made Kyuubi tighten his hold.

"Naaarruuttoooo pllleeaaasseeee! I don't know who else to turn to!" Kyuubi started sobbing radically onto his shoulder, his whole body shaking with each breath. Naruto couldn't take it anymore!

"F-F-FINE! JUST LET GO!" he choked/yelled out, fisting Kyuubi's white wife beater in his hands. Damn, Kyuubi was even stronger than he remembered! Was he really not doing drugs?

"Really?" Kyuubi finally relinquished his chokehold and held Naruto at arm's length, staring deep into his blue crystal orbs of mercy. "Thank you thank you THANK YOU!"

He was about to give him another huge hug, but decided against it since he didn't really feel like killing his saviour.

"So, why'd you move here? Got kicked out of Suna, hmm?"

Naruto, massaging his ribs, gave Kyuubi a hard glare. "No! I wanted to get away from you! But you still manage to find me, augh!" He raised his arms in defeat and crawled completely out of his blanket. With an angry kick, he sent it flying back onto his bed.

Kyuubi grinned at his flippant show of annoyance. "You know I have my sources. I'll always find you, kit."

"I don't understand you, Kyuubi. Why must you torture me so?" Naruto asked desperately, flopping onto his only chair and spinning around agitatedly. "What the hell have I ever done to you?"

"You were born."

Naruto gasped. "What? That's your reason for bothering me ever since elementary school, where you would steal my freaking lunch every single day so that I always starved?"

Kyuubi grinned. "Yepp."

Naruto decided to not comment anymore. He really didn't want to delve into the reasons why Kyuubi had relentlessly made trouble for him ever since the time they met on the first day of third grade (seventh grade for Kyuubi). In fact, he had a feeling that it was way more than just the fact that he was "born." He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but Kyuubi was hiding something, and not just his drug addicted ways either.

"I'm going to sleep now, if you don't mind," Naruto sniffed, standing up from the chair and crawling back into bed.

"Where am I going to sleep, Naruto?" Kyuubi asked, hoping the blonde would say the bed.

"The floor."

"WHATTTT?" Kyuubi couldn't believe his ears. "No way! Please Naruto, my back is very delicate!"

Naruto eyed Kyuubi's strong muscled back and snorted. "Right."

Ignoring the wishes of his hospitable host, Kyuubi jumped right into the bed and laid down next to Naruto, who groaned. He wasn't really expecting Kyuubi to sleep on the floor either...

"At least go take a shower! You smell awful!" Naruto scrunched up his nose and kicked Kyuubi in the sides, effectively scooting him over a few inches.

"Fine. I will. Where's the shower in this place?"

"Go find it," said Naruto, not even bothering to help him. It's not like he'll wander around lost or anything in his small apartment.

Kyuubi decided he'll be semi-obedient for once and headed off in search of the bathroom.

Naruto, on the other hand, was relieved he got some peace and quiet now. He dropped his head back onto his pillow and before long, started snoring.

It wasn't until twenty minutes later that he was brutally woken up by a huge door slam that shook the ceilings violently.

"NARUTO!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" Yes, he was pissed. Naruto turned his head to look in the direction of the arriving footsteps, his glare firmly in place.

Then, Kyuubi walked out, a hand in his damp hair and looking pretty annoyed. But that's not what made Naruto stare. What made him stare was Kyuubi's freaking CHEST, which was BARE like the day he popped out of his poor unfortunate mother's vagina; only way buffer, obviously. "Where's the damn towel?" (ART TIME! .com (slash) art (slash) Kyuubi-TOWEL-DAMN-IT-85369175 but without all the spaces xD)

Good thing he was wearing pants, although the top of his boxers were showing. Stupid fashion trend these days...jeez.

"I said where the fuck's the damn TOWEL? Stop staring, I know you want me but now is not the time."

Naruto's vacant look morphed instantly into a frown.

"THE TOWELS ARE RIGHT IN THE CABINETS! AND I WAS ONLY STARING AT YOU BECAUSE I WAS SHOCKED AT HOW DISGUSTING YOU ARE!"

"WHAT!" Kyuubi took offense to that. "I'M NOT DISGUSTING! YOU'RE JUST LYING 'CAUSE YOU WANT ME SO BADLY!"

"KEEP DREAMING!"

"GO BACK TO SLEEP YOU HO!"

"I WOULD IF YOU WEREN'T HERE!"

"WELL SORRY!" With a huff, Kyuubi stormed back into the bathroom to dry himself off. "AND THANKS TO YOUR STUPID TOWEL PLACEMENT, I HAD TO NOT ONLY WEAR DIRTY CLOTHES, BUT WEAR THEM WHILE WET!"

"OH SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"HEY, COME HERE, I CAN'T FREAKING FIND THEM!"

"ARRRGGGG!"

Naruto dragged himself up and stomped towards the bathroom, ripped a cabinet door open and threw the towel at Kyuubi. With a huff, he headed back, grabbing his night wear on the way; since he was already up, might as well change for sleep.

And then, finally, Naruto fell asleep, Kyuubi madly joining him a few minutes later.

All in all, it was a crazy day.

BAM BAM BAM!

"Open up! Seriously, open up now!"

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!

"Narutoooo! You're going to make us late! Even though here I am being nice and giving you a ride to school, after hours of begging my sister to let me borrow the car for today! This is how you show your appreciation? By keeping me out?"

Click. Swing.

"Finally, jeez, Naru—"

Glare.

"...Oops. Sorry, wrong door!" With a yelp, Kiba hurriedly turned away, looking around wildly for the right one. Confused, he looked back as his previous spot again. Call him dumb, but he felt sure that this was where Naruto lived.

"Um, sorry but uh...does N-Naruto live here?"

Before the very intimidating bare-chested man could reply, the door swung open a bit more, revealing a tuft of blond hair poking out from underneath the red head's armpits (he still had a hand on the door).

"K-Kiba?" Naruto squeezed himself out, his hair rustled and an overly large T-shirt on. In his state of drowsiness, he yawned loudly and stretched his arms over his head, his shirt riding up to reveal orange boy shorts underneath. If Kiba didn't have completely pure thoughts about his best friend at all times, he was pretty sure he would have blacked out from a nose bleed by now.

Kyuubi, on the other hand...

"Hot damn, do that again!"

Naruto turned around and gave him a glare before shoving him roughly back into the house and slamming the door shut. He didn't realize then that he was outside with only his underwear, and Kiba was too embarrassed to say anything to the blonde.

"What do you want, Kiba, at this ungodly hour?"

"UNGODLY? It's seven thirty! And school starts at EIGHT! Let's go, damn it!"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Oh damn! Hold on!" He quickly slipped back inside, shutting the door before Kiba could get in too. And so, Kiba huffed and stuck his ear to the door. After some muffled talking that he couldn't quite make out, a few bangs that were hopefully doors and not heads, and a loud "DON'T MESS ANYTHING UP!", Naruto ran out in a pretty bad mood (Kiba jumped out of the way of the ferocious door opening).

"Let's go, Kiba."

"I got to ask, Naruto, who was that guy? And why was he naked?"

What a way to start out the conversation during lunch. Kiba would have asked on the drive to school, but Naruto's fuming made him think twice about bringing up a probably touchy subject.

"I don't want to talk about it."

See, it was touchy!

"Come on, Naruto, he's not like, your...your...uh..." Kiba didn't know how to phrase it.

"He's a childhood nuisance, that's what he is." Naruto started brooding again, crossing his arms in a huff and slouching in his seat.

A silence ruled over them, broken only by the clatter of the rest of the grade eating and talking. Kiba had no clue how to keep this conversation going without prying too far.

"S-so uh, you've know him for a long time?" Kiba tried, chuckling sheepishly afterwards.

Naruto looked at Kiba before shoving a mouthful of food into his mouth. "Him who?"

"The guy!" Damn, the kid was forgetful!

Swallowing, Naruto nodded hesitantly. "Kyuubi? Yeah, I suppose." He started biting his nails again.

"Stop doing that, that's disgusting."

Both head turned to look at the new voice, which just so happens to be a girl's.

"Ino?"

"The one and only!" The blond girl smiled and sat down next to them, Hinata, who was trailing behind, joining them. And then, to Naruto's surprise, Sakura also sat down with them with a warm smile towards him.

"Sakura-chan?"

"Hey, Naruto! Mind if we join you?"

Naruto just dumbly shook his head. Wow, she sure made one fast leaf turn.

Another minute later, to Naruto's utter surprise again, Shikamaru and Chouji also came and sat down so that their table wasn't completely empty now. Kiba obviously looked uncomfortable, especially since a girl (Hinata) was sitting so close.

There was almost complete silence in the room as all heads turned towards their table, as if processing the new change in social hierarchy. Everyone had a huge question mark over their heads, even Sasuke who just lost two of his most rabid fan girls to the dorks. Not that he was complaining, mind you, but it was just...unnatural.

But Sasuke realized that after the whole Sakura gang fiasco, she was sure to have grown up a bit. And thank god, because recently, she's been way less clingy.

Sasuke's eyes now zoomed in on Naruto, who was laughing at something Ino was saying. He stared as Naruto guffawed, choked, coughed, guffawed some more, and stuck food inside his mouth.

And somehow or other, that all seemed perfectly smooth to Sasuke.

Why? He has no idea.

"So Naruto, are you going to try out for any teams for the competition?" Sakura asked with a smile.

Naruto beamed. "Yeah! Actually, I was thinking of trying out for five! Basketball, tennis, soccer, three-legged racing, and water polo! What do you think?"

Ino smirked. "You're really that athletic?"

"Yeah, I am!" Naruto bristled angrily to Ino's unbelieving laughter. "I really am! Believe it!"

"Right, I'll believe it when I see it, squirt."

"Ditto for me," a pudgy hand raised up into the air, making Naruto's jaw drop.

"No way! Fine! I'll prove it to you guys in the competitions! Which is when, by the way?"

"I don't think that information's out yet. Maybe we'll find out sometime soon?" Sakura shrugged lightly.

Naruto sighed. "Yeah, sometime soon would be good."

And speak of the devil, the PA system just then went on.

"Attention students, attention students. The inter-school competition schedule has just been established. Events and days will be posted in every hallway and classroom, and signup sheets will be on the cafeteria door. The competitions will be held in two weeks time, so train like monkeys, you little brats!"

"Tsunade-sama!"

"What? They are."

And the speaker clicked off. Everyone could just imagine their principal doing that, so no one was really surprised about it. Naruto just face faulted, not even bothering to ask if that kind of announcement was a frequent occurrence.

"Wow, what luck. Right when we needed to know." Ino mused, cackling.

"I'm going to go sign up now, okay? You guys better vote for me!" Naruto grinned while standing up, Kiba following suit.

"Sure thing, Naruto! We'll just see how athletic you are out in the field!" Ino teased.

"Don't break a nail, princess," Chouji grinned up at the petite blonde.

"Good luck."

"Not you too, Shikamaru!" Naruto pouted.

"What? I only wished you good luck!"

"...Oh. Oh okay, I thought you were saying that sarcastically."

Everyone face palmed, including Hinata, as Naruto walked away with a huge smile on his face.

Things were really starting to perk up now. He couldn't wait until the competitions! He'd show them who was tough!

Just as Naruto stepped out the cafeteria doors though, his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and he stopped abruptly. Kiba, completely dazed at all the attention before, didn't notice and crashed right into him.

"GUH—what the hell, Naruto?"

"...What are you doing here?"

Kiba was confused, what was he doing here? He went to this school, obviously! Oh, oh wait, Naruto wasn't talking to him. Then who—?

He trailed his eyes up to see who Naruto was looking at, and gave out a gasp and started growling, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

The intruder gave a small smile and started walking towards them, each step dramatized by the echoing hallway.

Kiba could feel a migraine coming.

...

Still the hilarity of xXCabbageXx.

Review please!