A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the love you have shown this story so far. I find myself constantly opening the reviews page and smiling like an idiot while I read them all! I'm so thankful for all of you! Happy reading!

This chapter is for my new friend, Kaitlyn. Her support and lovely words are the peppermint to my mocha. :) Xo

Disclaimer: I do not claim any ownership over Castle or the characters/episodes borrowed for this story.

I Have Loved You all Along

"Sometimes reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey.

At other times, it is allowing another to take yours."

-Vera Nazarian

November 5th, 2015

Kate's phone rings loudly through the quiet room just after midnight. She groans from the lack of sleep as she reaches blindly for the phone. Castle vaguely registers her growl of "Beckett" through his sleep addled brain, but his eyes flash open when he feels the bed jostle as she gets up.

"What's going on?" he asks.

She huffs as she searches for an outfit, cursing under her breath as she pulls on her black dress pants. "We got another body drop. Ryan thinks it's linked to the case we're already working. He's texting me the address, but Gates wants this solved, preferably before any more fatalities."

Castle jumps up a little too quickly and has to grip the bedside table to keep from tripping over the sheet that's still wrapped around his right leg. Kate's annoyed that she has to be awake right now, but she laughs at the goofiness of her husband, even more thankful for him at times like this.

He comes up behind her and wraps her in a tight hug just as she slips the last button of her shirt through the little slot. She doesn't hesitate before slinging her arms around his waist and letting him ground her. "We'll figure this out and catch the killer—we always figure it out," he whispers against her hair.

"I know, I just really wanted to spend some more time in our bed with you. Who knows how long we'll be working today, I don't want to miss out on your story tonight."

Castle eases her back so that he can look at her face but he keeps his arms wrapped low around her waist. "It doesn't matter as long as we're together. You have a duty, to finish the last chapter of your victim's story and then we'll get back to ours."

"Thank you," she says as she lifts up on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss against his lips.

"For what?" he asks.

"For always knowing what to say, for grounding me no matter what the situation is."

He kisses her cheek before stepping away from her to find something to wear. His answer of "Always" has a smile lingering on her face for far longer than it should.

They arrive at the crime scene a short time later and Castle can count on one hand the times that he's been queasy, but this is one of them. It's exceptionally gruesome to say the least and judging from the smell—the intense stench of decay, it's been more than a few days since their victim was murdered.

She's a young girl, looks to be around the age of Alexis and Castle shudders at the thought. The emotional roller-coaster he'd gone on when she Alexis was missing had been hard enough but he got her back, he can't imagine being on the end of this phone call. And although Kate has yet to be a mother of her own child, she's stepped up and been one to Alexis so this case seems to be getting to her more than usual. Castle notices the same shudder rip through her body before she takes a deep breath and goes into full detective mode.

Three hours of combing through financials and traffic cam footage and they've concluded that their victims are definitely linked, in fact they were related. The two women thought they were cousins their entire lives but after speaking with Lanie and an estranged aunt that Ryan managed to locate, it turns out the women were actually sisters. Both victims share the DNA of a father who disappeared before they knew him. And at last, they have a lead.

Castle hovers close by as they wait for Ryan and Espo to locate and bring in their suspect, turns out he didn't disappear as well as he thought he did. Kate bristles with the hope that this will be what they need to close to case because as much as she wants justice for the two victims, she wants to drag Castle home and into their bed and listen to their story and then she wants to snuggle against his warm body and sleep for hours while dreaming about it.

Their suspect, Mr. Parks, is confident—a little too confident. His declarations of "You'll never get enough evidence to convict me" are heard loud and clear by the entire precinct as he's escorted into interrogation room four. Kate rolls her eyes, but Castle just smirks because this is what she shines at, breaking even the cockiest of suspects.

Castle elects to watch from the observation room because as much as he loves being beside his wife when she does her interrogations, he doesn't want his presence to lessen the effect she has on Mr. Parks.

Kate's on fire the moment she enters the room, shoving the door closed with more force than usual and tossing the case file onto the table. She crosses her arms, pacing a few times in front of the suspect as she assesses his demeanor, and plans which approach she'll use.

It's all going in her favor until Kate crosses that line, the one that sends Mr. Parks over the edge and he lunges forward, hands around her throat before she can stop him. It's over almost as soon as it started, the boys bursting into the room and pulling the man off of her and Castle has to restrain himself from reacting. He hates when anyone talks nasty to her, but when they touch her it's an entirely different story. She's leaning over the table, knuckles white with the force of her grip as she takes gasping breaths, forcing the air back into her lungs. Ryan and Espo shove Mr. Parks towards holding and shut the door behind them as they exit the room.

Castle rubs a hand down her back, forcing his anger to dissipate so that he can calm her as well. She finally stands, and slowly spins to face him.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

She nods as she steps into his arms, needing his strong arms wrapped around her. After a few minutes she pulls back and looks up at him. "I should have seen that coming," she whispers.

"Hey," he reaches out to cup her cheek, "you were awesome in here, you had him right where you wanted him, and you had no idea he was going to lash out like that. I'm just glad you're okay."

She leans her head further into his hand and smiles at him. "Thank you for not reacting in the way I'm positive you wanted to. He would have deserved it, but it's best to let him take himself down."

He starts to pull her closer but then his focus shifts to the red marks on her neck and he frowns. "If your neck bruises I'm not sure I'll be able to restrain from lashing out at him. I don't want you alone with him again though, please. I know you can handle yourself, but if he touches you again…"

She shakes her head in agreement and gives him another brief hug. "He'll be cuffed this time, but I'll take Espo in with me. I'll be okay."

Castle smiles and walks with her back to her desk, sinking down into his chair once she's seated in her own. "Get your focus back and then take him down because that's what you do best."

She nods and dives back into the file, studying it with a renewed vigor.

They let Parks sit in the holding cell for most of the day, but Castle can see Kate's frustration growing. She can't find enough to convict him, and the fact that they all think he's guilty won't matter when the twenty-four hour holding period is up. Castle stares at the murder board, desperate for something to catch his eye so that they can close this case.

Their big break comes sometime around seven that evening, and Castle would jump up and down if not for his dire need of sleep. Pulled documents from both victim's computers produce similar emails—emails that prove just how guilty there suspect really is. Each email though written differently instructs the recipient to meet Parks at a specific location to pick up a package from their father. It would seem suspicious to most people but neither victim knew their father so intrigue must have won over. The key to linking the email lies in the small detail of asking the recipient to wear a red scarf. Two different emails. Two different locations. One same request. And then they trace them right back to Parks' computer.

Mr. Parks is still smug and over confident when they return him to the interrogation room, but this time Kate is ready for him. She strolls into the room with confidence that would rival almost anyone and Castle bristles with pride for his wife. He knows that Parks is going down.

Gates and Ryan flank either side of Castle and they watch as Beckett and Espo break Parks with practiced ease. The moment he knows it's over is the moment Castle lives for. Kate actually beams at Castle as she emerges from the room and it's something that he's only seen her do since they officially got together and he adores it. They watch as Espo leads Parks away and both breathe a mutual sigh of relief.

By the time Kate finishes her paperwork and drops it onto Gates' desk, it's after ten and Castle is nodding off while his head is propped against his hand. Kate nudges him gently and his head snaps up, eyes immediately alert. "Come on, Castle. I'm finally finished. Let's go home before you fall asleep and end up in the floor." She chuckles as he stands to help her into her coat.

Castle forces himself to stay awake in the car while Kate drives them home. She's running on the same amount of sleep that he is, he should be able to stay awake with her. They stop to grab some take-out, neither up for cooking anything when they get home.

Kate goes into their bedroom to change clothes as soon as they enter the loft, while Castle plates their pizza and pours them a glass of wine. When she doesn't come back after several minutes he leaves their plates on the counter and goes to find her. He chuckles when he spots her curled up and asleep on her side of the bed.

He returns to the kitchen and puts the pizza along with the wine in the fridge before turning off the lights and going back to the bedroom. As much as she wanted to hear the next part of their story tonight, the exhaustion seems to have won out. He changes into his pajamas and joins her in the bed, pulling the covers over them before turning out the lights. In a matter of minutes he's sound asleep.

It's sometime around three when Castle drifts awake to the soft sound of her voice. He doesn't open his eyes, but he reaches for her, drawing her body against his.

"Castle?" she calls again, waiting for him to respond.

"Hmm?" he responds.

"I fell asleep before you could tell me the next part of our story," she pouts.

"I know," he laughs. "I was waiting for you to come back and eat some pizza, but I came in here and found you sound asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

She huffs against his chest and he laughs again.

After a few minutes of silence he thinks she's drifted back off, but then her stomach growls and she pushes into a sitting position. "I could eat that pizza right now," she states.

She's already in the kitchen with several pieces of pizza heating in the microwave when Castle comes in, clothed in only his blue cotton robe and pajama pants. She smiles and hands him a bottle of water before getting the pizza out and passing him a plate.

"Isn't there some kind of given rule that eating pizza at three in the morning makes it even better?" she asks after swallowing a mouthful of pizza.

He laughs and nods as he takes a bite of his own.

She eats two more pieces before she feels full and Castle does the same. She stands to throw her plate away when she hears her phone beep from their bedroom and she groans at the thought of another murder. Castle trails behind her and plops down on the bed as she opens the text message. She reads it and drops it on to the table, smiling as she crawls across the bed until she's pressed up against him.

"That was from Gates, she's giving me the day off to 'recover' from yesterday." She swings her leg over his lap eliciting a small groan from him when her hips sink against his own. "I know it's early and we need sleep, but I'd really like to take a bath with my ruggedly handsome husband. We have all day to catch up on sleep when we get out."

Castle wraps his arms around her waist, holding her against him as he scoots towards the edge of the bed. She lets out a small giggle when he stands with her still in his arms. It's a sound he never knew she could make or expected to hear from her. He loved her as a friend, even more as a girlfriend and fiancé, but there's nothing that compares to loving her as his wife. He discovers something new to love about her almost every day.

He gently sets her down so that she can undress while he starts the bath water and pours some of her favorite salts into it. He quickly sheds his own clothes and then reaches for her hand as they step into the bath tub.

Kate sighs happily as she sinks into the warm water and rests her back against Castle's broad chest. His arms wrap around her stomach and she links their fingers together as they wait for the tub to fill. When the water gets high enough, Kate stretches her leg out and turns the nozzle off with her foot.

She's quiet for a several minutes, letting the hot water sooth her tired, aching muscles, but she suddenly remembers what she missed out by falling asleep. "Castle?"

"Hmm?" he hums.

"If you're too tired I can wait, but I'd really like to hear chapter three of our story now."

She feels his answering grin against her skin.

"Tired, but never too tired to tell you a story, especially when I know I get to crawl back in bed with you when we get out of here."

He clears his throat dramatically and Kate would roll her eyes, but he's about to tell her about year three of their story and there's nothing she'd rather be doing right now. "This particular year was a hard one for us. I managed to think of little moments of hope amidst the pain, but it's not going to be the happiest of chapters. Happy or not though, it's still a beautiful story of love."

"It was a very hard year full of many tests for us, Castle. But I think all that matters is that we passed all of them. I mean we might not have realized it at the time, but look at where we are now. That has to mean we passed them right?"

"Oh, there is no doubt that we passed." He kisses her cheek and then he takes them back to year three.

Chapter three takes us back to my third year following you for research. Yes, that's clearly what I was doing. Only at the beginning of this particular year I hadn't spoken to you in several months. I spent the summer writing in the Hamptons and Gina was with me. Things were, let's just say a bit of a rollercoaster. Gina and I were like oil and water; we never mixed well for long.

Murder brought you and I back together and I still to this day see it as just another sign of something we were still too stubborn to deny. I thought you were still with Demming and I was putting off coming back to the precinct because frankly I just didn't want to see you with him. Did I want to see you happy? Of course. With him? No.

I think for a brief moment you actually thought I had committed that murder, but despite your jealousy of Gina and my jealousy of Demming, we ended up as partners once again. I missed you that summer; I know you missed me too. I also know you let me win that bet and I love you a little more for it.

Soon after that I got the chance to meet Royce. I watched you closely during that case, observing more about you than I ever had before. At one time you loved him, it might not have been clear to some people, but when I looked at you it was written all over your face. You loved him, but I don't think he ever deserved that love from you.

Josh came into the picture around that time and since I was still with Gina I shouldn't have been as jealous as I was. I hated the way he looked at you because I wanted to be the only man ever allowed to look at you like that.

Things seemed to get serious for you and Josh rather quickly—well, as serious as you would allow back then. I still broke it off with Gina because it wasn't fair to keep her hanging on when my heart already belonged to you.

When we caught the Jerry Tyson case I was intrigued, the details of it sparked my interest more than any other case. I never saw the ending coming. I thought that I was going to die in that room with Ryan and never get to tell you how I felt about you. You found me before that could happen. Deep down I knew you would. And yet, I still didn't tell you that I loved you, because I was terrified that you would push me away for good.

You sat beside me that night, and you placed your hand in mine and once again the sparks flew. I could feel it stronger than ever. Your comfort was more than I ever expected but everything that I needed at the time. And I began to love you a little more.

At some point we got abducted by aliens. Don't ruin my story with your logic, just go with it. We woke up with matching hickeys and your head on my shoulder. In that moment I wished more than anything that they really were hickeys and you really had fallen asleep on my shoulder after several rounds of desperate love making. That's not even close to what really happened, but I like my version of it so much better.

I got to see another side of jealousy from you when we met Natalie Rhodes. She tried to be just like you. You hated it. I loved it. She tried to sleep with me and you believed that she had. I didn't want her though, even if she was pretending to be a version of you.

We shared our first real touch that year. The undercover kiss to distract the guard while trying to save Ryan and Espo spoke more words of what we were both feeling, than we were ready to admit. You tensed at first, shocked by the sudden connection, but you began to respond in a way that only a lover would. What started as a distraction became a moment of passion between two people who were in love but terrified to admit it. I memorized the noises that you made, each whimper and moan. You let yourself get lost in the kiss, even if was only for a brief moment, but you gave me all I needed to know at the time.

And then I went rogue and got us locked in a freezer. I'd like to say that if I could do it all over again I'd want that to never happen, but that wouldn't be the truth. I never wanted us to freeze to death, but in that moment I was content that if I was going to die at least it was with you in my arms. You started to tell me something, right before you passed out and I desperately wanted to hear it. I wanted to know if we were heading in the same direction. Once your hand dropped I just prayed that I'd either die or we'd both live. I'm forever thankful that we lived.

When I woke up in the ambulance I just wanted you, but then I saw Josh and my heart sank. I wanted to continue our conversation, but once again it wasn't the right time.

We found the bomb right after that, but there wasn't enough time to diffuse it. I just knew that we'd finally come to our end, yet once again I was okay with the fact that I was with you. I held your hand, ready to meet my fate and determined that I was going to scream out 'I love you' right as the blast went off. Instead I pulled the wires and diffused it and although you gave me the biggest hug ever, there were no declarations of love that day.

Then Royce was murdered and once again things shifted between us. I followed you to LA, determined to be there for you whether you wanted me to be or not. Our conversation on the couch was the closest we'd ever come to admitting our feelings. I think we both wanted to, but you still had Josh and I was scared to halt the progress we were slowly making. You looked at me in a way you never had before that night, but just as I was about to be brave—to take a chance, you made the decision for both of us and retreated to your room. I lingered on the couch, silently wishing that you would give in to whatever you were feeling, but you never came back out.

And then life dealt you another blow—well, several. You found out that the Montgomery had been involved in your mother's murder. We fought and you told me we were over and I thought that it really was it for us, until Montgomery called me. He lured you to the hanger that night, knowing what his fate would be before you ever arrived. I hated dragging you away from him especially given the way we'd left things, but your life meant more to me than any fight. I know walking out that door would be the last time I'd ever see Montgomery alive and I silently made my peace with it. He helped me save your life and he'll always be a hero for that.

You hated me while I held you against the car. Your tears coated my hand, my shirt, my neck and they seeped into my heart, coating me in your anguish until I shared it with you. My heart cried for you, for everything you were going through and for everything that I wanted to be to you. Somewhere in the midst of those tears, even with your battered heart, you forgave me.

And at last we come to the most difficult thing I've ever been through although I know my struggle pales in comparison to yours. You were giving me more than you ever had while speaking at Montgomery's funeral and I saw another glimpse of hope for us. And then I saw the glimmer of the sniper rifle and despite my best effort to get to you, he got to you faster.

I held your body against mine, pleading you to stay with me in those moments. They were some of the longest of my life. Your life in limbo while I begged whatever higher being was listening to just let you live. I let the dam burst then and told you that I loved you just as I watched the life slip from your body. I've told you before about watching you die but I felt it too. I felt the last breath you took before you lost consciousness, I felt the warm, stickiness of your blood, I felt the strength leave your body. But most of all I felt our connection intensify and I knew that if you survived, things would be different.

I held on to that look you'd been giving me right before you were shot, I let it burn into my memory until it was all I could see and the hope began to overcome the doubt.

By the time he finishes the beautiful recount of that painful year she's turning in his arms and clinging to him. She clings to him for all the times that they almost lost the chance to be what they are now. He clings back. But she doesn't let the tears fall this time because she cried enough of them during each of those painful times.

His gift to her isn't about holding onto the pain, it's about remembering where they came from and what they overcame to get to where they are now. It's about joy and happiness and the feeling of triumph at the end of a long, hard battle. They made it and that's all that matters right now.

They hold each other there until the water begins to grow cold and then they carefully step out and dry each other off before walking hand in hand to the bed, climbing beneath the covers and holding each other close.

"Thank you for finding a way to tell the story of that year in such a beautiful way, Castle. We went through a lot of pain to get to where we are now, but the journey only matters because it eventually led us to right here, this moment. I'm so glad that I get to spend the rest of my life in your arms while knowing exactly how we feel about each other."

Castle holds her a bit closer, letting the warmth of her ease the painful memories away and replace them with only good. "Me too, Kate. Me too."

She doesn't try to talk him into having sex before falling asleep, content to lie in the cocoon of his arms. They have the whole day to be together and she's more than happy to spend most of it just like this. Their story is full of ups and downs, painful moments that hurt to remember sometimes, but the pain was only a part of it. Even on the worst days, the possibility for joy was shining through and it made itself known through touches that spoke more than a handful of words.

Chapter three, complete.

I don't usually write case related details so if you hated that part I'm sorry and it most likely won't happen again!

Would love to hear your thoughts! xo