Chapter Two: Closure

Cait was just putting on her diamond earrings as the doorbell rang. He was right on time she thought. Just like a prosecuting attorney. It wasn't like he was unattractive; he was a very handsome man. Why was it she seemed to find little things not to like about him and always being right on time was one of them.

"Coming," she said as she reached for the door. Cait opened the door, Dave responded with a big smile.

"Cait, you look beautiful." He said as he kissed her on the cheek.

They had only been out a few times and it seemed like Dave was taking it slow. She didn't know if this was because he didn't want to move too fast or because she was not sending out the right signals letting him know it was ok to move further in the relationship. She thought the latter as probably more like it. The more she thought about it she realized that she had been finding all kinds of petty reasons not to like the men she had been dating. Maybe her Mom had been right when she told her she was sabotaging her own love life.

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Dave opened the car door for Cait as they pulled into the parking lot of "Velvet Blue" a new and exclusive Jazz club that had just opened.

Cait was a little impressed. "Dave how did you get tickets for tonight? I heard it was booked solid."

"OK, I have to admit that sometimes being a prosecuting attorney has its perks."

Cait looked alarmed.

Dave laughed at what she must have been thinking. "No I'm not taking bribes if that's what you're thinking; I went to Harvard with one of the owners. We're fraternity brothers."

Cait was blushing with embarrassment for thinking he might have engaged in unethical activity although she thought if he had it might have made him a little more interesting.

"Dave, I didn't mean to imply that you had done anything wrong, I just….."

"Cait, no need to explain. Actually I'm a little turned on that you think I could possibly have a dangerous edge to me."

They both laughed as he escorted her into the club. She didn't know much about Jazz but the place was beautiful. It was like walking into one of the underground jazz clubs from the movies. There was a balcony that went around the entire room with tables taking up every inch of space. The main floor was not as crowded. They approached the podium where everyone was giving their names to the man standing there. Dave did not need to give his name as the man recognized him.

"Mr. Masterson, right this way Sir." As he led them to a table that was out of the way and intimate.

Dave pulled Cait's chair out as she sat down.

"Wow Dave I'm impressed."

Dave was somewhat embarrassed and thought he needed to come clean with her. "Well to be honest Cait I was trying to impress you. I hope I didn't go too far."

Cait giggled. "No this is perfect." It was perfect, so why didn't she feel happy to be here?

The waiter brought over menus and took their drink order. Returning with their drinks he took their food order. As Cait was handing her menu to the waiter she caught sight of String as he was pulling out a chair for his date. Her heart sank. They were just four tables over from her and there was nothing blocking the view. The woman he was with had long dark brown hair. She was his height and had legs to match her height. She tried not to stare. She should have known he would be here since he was into jazz. She wished she was anywhere but here.

"Someone you know?' Dave said looking around.

Cait had almost forgotten Dave was there. "Ah yes, someone I work with."

Dave started to stand up."Should we go over and say hi?"

Cait was panicked and didn't mean to react the way she did. "No, that's ok. I'll say hi later" as she pulled his arm to sit back down.

Dave was perplexed at her reaction. "Sure, I guess we should let them order first." He said as he watched her bite at her lower lip. He sensed he should let this go for now.

Dinner was served, Cait tried to make light conversation but her eyes kept going to the table with the beautiful brunette and String. They were almost through with dinner and still String had not noticed she was there. She watched as he poured her another glass of wine. He had not taken his eyes off her. Unbeknownst to her Dave was aware that her attention was not at their table.

Plates were cleared as the musicians took the stage. The position of Strings table made it so he had to turn to see the stage. In doing so Cait was in his direct line of vision. Spotting her he suddenly had a feeling like he had done something wrong and was just caught. He didn't know why he felt that way he just did. Not knowing what else to do he nodded hello to her. She acknowledged back with a nod of her own. Dave watched the interchange between them. String decided he needed to go over to her table and introduce himself.

"I'm Hawke." He said as he extended his hand to Dave. "I work with Cait."

Dave stood up taking the offered hand firmly in his own. For some reason he felt like it was a pissing match and Cait was the prize.

"Dave" he replied back. "Nice to meet you Hawke. I haven't met any of Cait's friends yet."

String looked back over to his table giving the impression he needed to return. "I'd better get back." He said jerking his head toward his date. "Cait if we don't get a chance to talk again Happy New Year." He said as he reached down to kiss her. Cait's heart was beating faster. His lips touching hers and the knowledge that he would never feel anything else for her left her excited and empty at the same time. She watched him as he walked back to his date giving her his full attention. Something she would never have.

The hours passed. She danced several slow dances with Dave. A few times she came in close contact on the dance floor with String as he danced with his date. He made no effort to introduce her to them. She knew why, he didn't want to hurt her anymore than he needed to. The music stopped as the band leader asked everyone to start the countdown to midnight. Dave stood by Cait ready to kiss her at the stroke of midnight. As the countdown ended Dave took her in his arms. He closed his eyes as he kissed her. Hers remained opened. Peering over Dave's shoulder she watched as String passionately kissed his date. Pulling apart from her he motioned that they should leave. As he turned to leave he looked toward Cait. She hid her eyes in Dave's shoulder as she watched him looking at her. For a brief moment she thought maybe being in Dave's arms bothered him. He picked up his wine glass taking the last drink before he led his date to the door. Any hope she had that he had any feelings for her was gone.

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Cait bid Dave goodnight. He said he wanted to see her again. Why she couldn't say. It was obvious that her mind was not on him most of the night. She felt bad that she had been so transparent. Feeling she needed to make it up to him she agreed to see him again.

"I'll call you in the next few days Cait." He said as he headed for his car.

Cait closed the door. She retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Slowly opening the bottle she went over the events of the night in her head. Why has String never noticed me? Surely he knew how she felt. Suddenly chocking on the water Cait sat the bottle down saying out loud,"He doesn't know how I feel and how can he, I've never told him or given him a reason to think it."

Grabbing her car keys she headed out. Pulling into the hanger she started up the Jet Ranger. She needed to know how he felt about her. If she waited until morning she may not ever have the courage again. It was now or never. No matter what the answer was she was prepared to deal with it. She knew whatever the outcome was it would change things between them forever, good or bad.

Cait landed on the dock at the cabin. Her stomach was doing flip flops. As she stepped out on the dock her knees almost gave way. She thought about getting back in and leaving but decided she was there and needed to finish this.

String was pulling on his jeans as he looked out the loft window. "Damn" he said as his date was hurrying to put his shirt on. Running down to the door he opened it as Cait knocked.

"Cait, is anything wrong? Is Dom ok?"

Before she answered she thought how unprepared she was. "No, Dom is fine, everyone is fine. I mean everyone but me. Not that anything is wrong….."

String put a hand on her shoulder. "Cait, just tell me why you're here."

Before Cait could answer Strings date came to the door dressed only in his shirt. She stepped out onto the porch where they stood. "What's going on Hawke?" she asked as she stared at Cait.

"Nothing, go back inside." She didn't move. "Please" String said as he looked pleadingly to her.

As she turned to go Cait put her face in her hands. "I'm so stupid." She said as her face turned red. If there was ever a time she wanted to die it was now. The only thing she knew to do was run. String knew that would be her next move and caught her arm as she turned.

"Cait, you didn't come here for nothing. Tell me what's wrong. Did something happen with Dave?"

Cait was choking back tears. "No, everything is fine."

"Cait I want the truth and I'm not letting you go until I get it."

It was too late to back out now. She had to go through with it. There was no other way to explain why she showed up at his cabin in the middle of the night.

She took a breath. "I needed to know something."

"And" he said sensing getting this out of her was going to take some doing.

"String I've been keeping something from you for a very long time."

String now wished he hadn't asked. He knew where this was headed and that he was about to hurt her.

"Cait, maybe we should talk about this tomorrow."

"No, I need some closure in my life and the only way I'm going to get it is by telling you how I feel." She looked at his eyes that were full of compassion and already knew her answer but she asked anyway.

"I love you String, I have always loved you and I don't mean as a friend. I need to know how you feel about me."

At this moment String would have taken combat over having to answer her. He met her eyes as he saw the desperation in them. He was about to shatter her world. Someone he loved more than his own life but he needed to be honest with her no matter how much it hurt.

"Cait, you know I love you, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you." Cait closed her eyes, the pain was unbearable. She waited for the final blow. "There will never be any more between us then the deep friendship we have. I hope that will be enough for you because I don't want to lose you."

Strings date interrupted before Cait could respond "Hawke, are you coming back to bed?" she shouted out. String ignored her. He waited for Cait to breathe again searching her face for a reaction. Cait forced back the sobs that were beating at the back of her throat trying to escape. As soon as she had them under control she spoke.

"Thank you for being honest with me String, I know that had to be hard on you. This was such a stupid thing to do on my part. I don't know what I was thinking."

String tried to hug her but she put him at arm's length as she held out her hand to stop him. "I'm OK really."

"Cait you don't look OK to me. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Cait wiped the tears that had escaped. "It's not your fault, you can't help the way you feel any more than I can. I think I'd better go now. I already ruined your evening." She turned to leave.

"Wait, Cait let me fly you home. You're in no condition to fly right now."

Cait turned back to face him with a grin on her face. "String I've flown with you while we took down MIGs, I think I can fly with a broken heart." String flinched at her last words.

Not wanting him to feel any guiltier then he did she said, "Lighten up flyboy, I was just teasing." With that she walked toward the dock.

String started to go after her but stopped. What else could he say? Stopping her would just make things worse. He decided to let her leave with any shred of dignity she had left. Watching her take off he sat outside thinking about what had just taken place. Somehow he knew he had just lost his best friend. 2015 was going to be different. He hoped he was ready for the change.